* Hello everyone! Time for the usual shameless self promotion, please read my other fics and my new Whouffle AU is out on Christmas Day yada yada. Thank you so much to my readers, followers, favouriters and reviewers, especially to the handful of you that review every chapter (you know who you are and so do I). It's always nice to have new reviewers as well, people who've read the whole lot in one go. The last few chapters have been very heavy so this is a nice change of pace. It's very fluffy, but also very deep as I really wanted to delve into the Doctor here. So, Gallifrey, regeneration and parents. I've taken a few liberties here but these are my own interpretations of the Doctor's past and his thoughts on the Time Lords. I hope you enjoy it :) TPD*

The Doctor woke in Clara's bed on the TARDIS and frowned. All he could remember was pain. They'd fought the Silence, won and ended up lying on the floor of the TARDIS in agony until they fell asleep. It made sense that she'd brought him here, after all she wouldn't be able to find his bedroom, the TARDIS still refused to let Clara in there without the Doctor being with her and well, conscious, even though it was probably fine, what with the Doctor in the state he'd been in. He felt his hands, working them over in his head. They felt fine. The cream had actually worked then, thank goodness, he'd just been bluffing. At least the TARDIS was looking out for him. He tried to focus on his surroundings but with Clara nowhere to be seen, there wasn't much for him to do. His limbs felt heavy with stiffness and weariness and the Doctor sat up with an almighty effort. His body was aching all over. It was a miracle that it hadn't packed it in once and for all, he thought, all things considered. He'd had this body for a long time and he was accustomed to it, but he figured it wouldn't be long now before it gave in on him. As long as he was still someone who Clara could love for the rest of his life, he didn't care. They could die together, the Doctor thought. If this was his last body, then he couldn't think of anyone better to share his last few years with.

"Chin, you're awake?!" Clara was beaming from ear to ear as she stepped into the bedroom with a tray. The Doctor sat up and smiled as warmly as he could at her as she placed the tray down on the bedside table and leaned over to hug him, kissing him as she pulled away. "How're you feeling?" she asked anxiously, her worry written all over her adorable face. Her hair was pulled up and she was wearing a woolly jumper and a pair of his boxers. Her eyes were heavy though, as if she hadn't slept properly. The Doctor wondered how long he'd been out of action.

"Oh I'll survive," the Doctor smiled. "Nothing this old body can't shake off. Is that soup?" he asked with a glance at the bowl of red, steaming liquid. "I love soup, Clara did you make me soup?"

"I figured," Clara said, clambering across him and slipping into bed beside him. "It was about time I took care of you for once. All those times you nursed me when I was sick, carried me places when I passed out. All those times you've made me breakfast in bed; I figured it was my turn. You were in a pretty bad way," she admitted, clearly shaken by it. "I was really worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me," the Doctor lied. "I can cope. Thank you for the soup Clara, I really appreciate it. As soon as I'm feeling better, I'll take you to a wonderful spa on the planet Glistening, how does that sound?"

"You worry about making sure that you're okay," Clara kissed his forehead. "I'll worry about the TARDIS. We're still in the vortex, have been for about a day and a half. I think she wants to land."

"Yes," the Doctor murmured. "She'll need refuelling. Frankly, I think we all do. So, the TARDIS can refuel and then I'll take you to Glistening so that you can refuel."

"And what about you?" Clara asked, her voice barely higher than a whisper. "When do you get to refuel?"

"I'm a Time Lord Clara," he chuckled, turning away from her and grabbing the soup tray and placing it on his lap. "I get a complete refuel when I die."

"Doctor!" her voice was agitated and the Doctor turned back to her. Her face was lined with worry and her eyes were glistening. "Stop pretending that you're alright. I hate it. You might think that you need to protect me against the truth but the truth is you're not okay. You've had this body for a long time, hundreds of years you told me. The amount of damage you do to yourself, it can't be in a good shape. So before I refuel and before the TARDIS refuels, you're going to put yourself first for once. You're a Doctor. Physician heal thyself. There must be a planet where you can get your body all rejuvenated?"

"Glistening is more than just a spa Clara," he smiled. "The wells from which they draw the water from their baths contain so many rich and raw minerals, they have excellent restorative capabilities. I will feel a lot better after one, especially knowing that I'm sharing a bath with the most beautiful girl in the universe. If you detract the nose."

"Oi!" Clara giggled despite the nose comment. "Thank you Doctor," she said, throwing her arms around him. "It means a lot to me that you're going to put yourself first for once. You need to do it more often. And you need to let me put you first too."

"Okay Clara," the Doctor smiled. "My Clara. I'll let you put me first. I can never bring myself to ever put my own needs ahead of yours or ahead of anyone who's in danger. If I could, I suppose I'd be a pretty rubbish Doctor. But what I can do – will do for you, is to let you put me first. If every now and then, you do things for me or ask me to take us somewhere you think I need, then I'll go along with it. And I'll try my hardest not to lie to you to protect you, even though I only do it because I have your best interests at heart."

"I know that sweetheart," Clara nuzzled her face against the Doctor's neck and settled there as he ate his soup. "But I hate seeing you get battered by someone like the Silence and then come out the other side afraid to show you're hurt. It's dangerous to hide your pain from others to protect them, because then who's protecting you? I know you think you don't need protection, but we're going to be married. You need to start letting me protect you."

"Clara Oswald," the Doctor said kindly, offering her a spoonful of soup which she gratefully accepted. "I would be honoured if you would protect me. Truly. And might I also say, this is the best soup I've ever had. Truly top notch. So good in fact, that I'm going to save the rest for later!" Clara narrowed her eyes as the Doctor pushed away the soup.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not! I really do want you to protect me. It means a lot to me that you care that much. I know you think that I'm an emotionless, weird alien, but you make me rethink emotions every second I'm with you Clara. I warm to them more when I think about you and what you've brought into my life."

"That's all well and good, but you're lying about the soup. You hate it."

"No I don't."

"Then eat it, go on then!"

She crossed her arms and the Doctor smiled as brightly as he could at her and spooned more soup into his mouth, trying not to gag at the taste.

"See! Hmm it's lovely!"

"I hate you sometimes."

After another half hour of soup-related bickering, which resulted in most of the bowl ending up on the TARDIS floor, which impressed the machine not one jot and she threw the pair out of Clara's room, which mysteriously disappeared. Clara found a sock and half a bra in the toilet later that day and it took a lot of apologising from both of them to persuade the TARDIS to return Clara's things. The Doctor was feeling a lot better and after their trip to Glistening, Clara felt truly rejuvenated. They'd violated the sacred bath tubs and been thrown out and banned for life, so they'd returned a year earlier and not been caught that time. It always made Clara laugh when they pitched up in places and the people there hated or loved the Doctor for things he hadn't yet done. They had once been to one planet which worshipped Clara as a goddess and she wasn't sure why until the following week when they went back and the people there thought the Doctor was a demon because of his chin and by trapping him in his own blue box, Clara was some sort of protector, saving them from the demon chin. She'd called him Demon Chin for about a month afterwards until he'd sulked enough that she felt bad and stopped. After Glistening, they landed in Cardiff and the Doctor took Clara out for fish and chips. They were sat on a bench by the sea when he checked the date and turned to Clara, a sad note in his voice.

"I suppose we should be getting home," he said, smiling wistfully. "It's been a good month or so for us, but we've been gone for a week and we need to get back. Move into the house, get back to school, have an engagement party." Everything he said seemed to cheer him up and Clara giggled as his facial expressions changed during his own speaking. "Humans only yes?"

"If they look human, that's fine," Clara clarified. "So Jack can come, as long as he doesn't sleep with anyone. I'd ask you to stop him flirting but frankly your face when he flirts makes it worth the slight uncomfortability of the whole situation. I'll send out the invites last week?"

"You know I find it really hot when you do that?"

"Do what?" Clara asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Make references to time not being linear. It's all physicsy and sexy and I'm just here like: 'I'm engaged to someone who understands and spouts rubbish about the laws of time'."

"Oh, you like me to sound like you?" Clara smirked and his face fell as he stammered. "It's alright, I like it when I sound like you too, I feel clever and stuff. And besides, I don't really understand time, I just pick up bits and bobs from you, like we have a time machine, so we can do things we've already done and stuff like that. I leave the heavy-lifting to you Chin-Boy. So how long do we have to stay in Cardiff?"

"Another twenty minutes should do it," the Doctor checked his watch and smiled at her. "We're throwing an engagement party Clara Oswald. You're going to be Mrs Doctor after all."

"Yes," Clara said, the most magical word the Doctor had ever heard. "I suppose I am," she giggled. "You're going to be Mr Oswald. Mr Clara Oswald. Oh god," she thought. "What are we going to put on the registry? How am I going to introduce you to everyone? My whole family will have to meet you!"

"I can be John Smith," he smiled. "Doctor John Smith and you can be Clara Oswald. You know," he pondered. "I was really hoping to do a Gallifreyan ceremony, but I suppose we'd need my parents for that, so I guess we'll have to stick with the human way of doing it."

"You never talk about your parents," Clara noted. "Of all the things you're open about with me, you've never told me about them."

"Would you like to meet them?" the Doctor asked and Clara's jaw dropped. She nodded frantically. "Well you can if I ever find Gallifrey. I can see them again. It'll be…" he paused. "Interesting. They both died long before the Time War," he elaborated. "Before I ran away from Gallifrey in fact. But they were resurrected." The bitterness in his voice stung Clara. "The High Council," he spat the words. "Did everything to win the war. They used weapons that should never have been allowed to leave that vault, they experimented on Time Lords in so many ways, desperate to make them immortal, anything to stop Dalek fire power. The war twisted them so far, I can see why people stopped cheering for them. And the High Council utilised every weapon and every Time Lord at their disposal. Well, almost all," he paused, Clara hooked on his every word. "My parents were sent into the war for two reasons," he carried on. "My father was an excellent warrior and my mother," he smiled now, and the adoration in his voice was clear. He looked in Clara's eyes. "She was a healer. A doctor of sorts. One of the best. They were useful to the Time Lords, precious few of their order were equipped to deal with Daleks. Too long in the shadows," he muttered darkly. "The other reason was to punish me. The Time Lords tricked me and used me. Multiple times. One of the ways they used me, was to send me to the birth of the Daleks and try to stop it. They used me as a pawn in their wars and I'd had enough. So when they wanted me to join the Time War, I told them where to shove it. I'm not sure if bringing back my parents was to torture me or convince me to join them but I suspect they knew that I would never fight on their side. The war changed everyone Clara. It changed me."

"But it made you the man you are today," Clara insisted. "And look at you now. You've experienced the worst of the universe. Atrocities beyond measure. And look what it did to you. Almost everyone would go mad, or homicidal or suicidal but you? You've seen the worst of people, the worst of all species and it made you determined to fix them. To fix everything. You see a universe broken, riddled with pain and war and suffering. And all you can think about is how to help. And that's why you're the Doctor. My Doctor. Because you care about these monsters. These people who took your parents and warped them into…whatever the Time War did to them. And you think: I need to save them."

"If I could see them," he whispered, and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. "Just once more, I'd say sorry. It's my fault they fought in the Time War. All of them," he turned to Clara, and his voice was broken. "The Time Lords. I ran away from Gallifrey. I should never have run."

"But everything you've told me about your people, you've done so much good, made the universe a better place!"

"And don't you see Clara?!" he yelled and she instantly put her hand to his cheek to comfort him. "Look at me. I'm the last of them. And do you know why? Because I'm different to them. Because I ran from Gallifrey, saw the universe and tried to mend it. The rest of them, they were all too…" he stopped and took a deep breath. "Just imagine Clara, what good two of me could do. Or three. Or four. If I'd stayed on Gallifrey…I ran because I didn't like the way the Time Lords did things. But if I'd stayed, I could have made a difference. Because I ran, things stayed the same. And then, they got worse. I could have ruled Gallifrey," he admitted and her jaw dropped. "They offered me the post. If I'd had any sense I'd have taken it. I may not want to rule anywhere, but think of all the good I could've done. If even half a dozen Time Lords were still running around, helping people…or if we'd never gone to war…"

"Doctor!" Clara interrupted, kissing him deeply. "You can't save people from themselves. You couldn't stop the Time Lords being who they wanted to be, who they were. You did the right thing and you took a stand against them. All the worlds you've saved…You didn't save them because you were a Time Lord. You saved them because you're the Doctor. They were who they were and you were a good person. The Time War," she stopped for breath. "It happened. And you can't blame yourself for it. Because you did what you thought was right, what you had to do. And you saved them. You can go back, find Gallifrey and meet your parents and show them a better way. Your way. You can introduce me," she giggled. "And we can have a proper, Gallifreyan wedding if that's what you want."

"I can never have a Gallifreyan wedding with you Clara," he said bitterly, smiling at her and squeezing her hand. "My father would never allow it. The High Council would never allow it. They were angry enough when I married the first time," he chuckled, remembering. "And she was a Time Lord. I can't imagine for a second that my father would approve of me marrying an Earth girl. And the High Council…" he snorted at that.

"Bugger the High Council," Clara grinned and snogged him. "I'll tell them exactly where they can shove their Gallifreyan marriage ceremony if that's what they think. I love you. My Doctor."

"I love you too Clara Oswald," the Doctor smiled and checked his watch. "Now then, let's go and tell the world that we're engaged."