EMPOV

"Do you want to go get that food?" Edward rushed out. He looked like a fish out of water and for a few seconds there, I thought he was going to pass out or something. But he snapped out of it, so it seemed, and now he was asking to go get dinner? To say I was confused would be the biggest understatement ever.

But Edward was here, at my door, asking to spend time with me. Somewhere in his brain he wanted to come over here, even if he did look like he'd just been hit by a truck.

My confusion turned to satisfaction and I grinned. "Fuck yeah man, let's go."

I had actually sort of been sleeping. Mom had told me to stay upstairs for a few hours, so I decided to take a nap. When Edward knocked on the door, I assumed it was her again, reminding me to stay put or something.

"Hold on, just a second." I left my door open, indicating that he could come in if he wanted. I pulled a sweatshirt on and decided that my sweatpants were fine. That's what Edward was wearing anyway. I grabbed some tennis shoes and shoved my feet into them before digging my keys out of the pocket of my jeans on the floor.

When I stood up straight again, Edward was still in the doorframe, watching me dig around in my messy room.

"What? We can't all be neat freaks…"

He cracked a bit of a smile at that, shaking his head like he agreed. I had gotten a few glimpses of his room since he moved in and I was pretty sure Mom was going to disown me soon now that she knew how clean a teenage boy could be. I should really clean it though. I was a little embarrassed that Edward had seen it this dirt y. I didn't know why though, Alice was just in here yesterday and it didn't bother me.

After grabbing my phone, I was ready to go. "Okay, let's go. You have shoes downstairs?"

"Uh, no. Hold on." He went back to his room, hesitating for a second at the door. He left it open like I had though and went inside to his closet. The room looked exactly the same as it did before he moved in. The bed was even made. It was a little freaky.

He came back out of his closet with navy converse on. He turned the light out and shut his door.

We walked downstairs in a somewhat awkward silence, but I was beginning to realize that the silences were more of just Edward being a quiet guy than it really being awkward.

When we got to the second floor landing, I heard more voices than could be just Mom and Dad, so I stopped just short of the top step.

"They're all still here?" I whispered to Edward, talking about Dad's friend Aro and the cops that were supposed to come and talk with Edward. Was he allowed to leave right now?

He shrugged before adding, "I guess so…" also in a whisper.

"So…can you leave now or do they need you still?"

"I'm done." He nodded towards the stairs, as if encouraging me to go on.

I squinted my eyes at him, wondering if I was about to get in trouble again for pressuring him to go out.

Fuck it, I said to myself as we both continued down the stairs. I got to the bottom first and took in the scene. Mom, Dad, Aro, and a man and a woman I didn't know were all sitting on the couches, looking up at me. They had obviously heard me coming.

"Emmett, I thought I told you- Edward? What are you two doing?" Esme asked, confused when she saw Edward follow up behind me.

"We're just gonna go get some dinner. Edward wanted to and I haven't eaten yet either," I shrugged, trying to show her it wasn't a big deal.

"I don't know if that's a good idea tonight, Emmett."

"Mom, come on. It's doesn't have to be a huge thing, we'll be back in a little while. I have my phone." I started heading for the door. Edward followed, but it obviously wasn't going to be as easy for him. Esme followed us, meeting us by the front door and putting a hand on Edward's arm, stopping him. She talked with a low voice, as if the people ten feet away couldn't hear her.

"Honey, I know you're upset tonight, but I don't think this is the best way to deal with it." Real cool Mom, way to embarrass him.

"I'm not upset. I just want to go somewhere," he said quickly. Nice, there was no way she would actually force him to stay here, not after what he had been through. Please.

"Are you sure you're up to that right now?" Edward nodded, trying to be convincing. Esme eyed him disbelievingly, and then nodded. "Put your coats on. And call me if you're going to be gone long."

I went and grabbed our coats from the rack and handed it to Edward on our way out the door. Jeez, it was like a prison break or something.

Once we were in my car, I turned on the radio and pulled down the drive.

"So what did you have in mind exactly?" I asked him, knowing full well there was nowhere good to eat in Forks.

"I don't know. I'm not really that hungry, I just wanted to leave." Shocking.

"Can't imagine why…." I said sarcastically and he gave a half-hearted laugh. "Well I hate to break it to you, but you have moved into a town with no decent food. How about we drive up to Port Angeles and I'll show you where to get some adequate nutrition." If he wanted to drive, we might as well drive.

"Sure," he sounded more amused than I had heard before. I doubt he knew that Port Angeles meant we would be in the car for a few hours, but he could probably use the mini road trip.

"Oh, I should probably tell Mom we're heading up there," I remembered. I dug around in my pocket until I reached my phone. I thought about calling her but decided against it, seeing how she would most definitely try to convince me to come back home. A text would work just fine.

I was pulling onto the highway by now so I handed my phone to Edward instead. "You wanna text Mom for me? Tell her we're going up to Port Angeles."

"Uhh…"

"What?" Oh, shit. He'd probably didn't do a lot of texting. Whoa. "Oh fuck, dude, have you never texted before?" I looked over at him and he was shaking his head.

"Wow. Okay, pay attention." I went through it step by step, instructing him on what buttons to press and what to type. I didn't want to sound like I thought he was stupid or anything. I mean, I guess it was logical that he wouldn't have had a cell phone before, but I just hadn't considered that a teenager didn't get this.

When he had sent it, I told him, "Man, we gotta get you a phone."

"Why? It's not like I know anybody."

I guess that was true, but still. "Well, I mean…you just need one. It's convenient anyway. Plus, if you're out, Mom will want to call you." That was a lame reason, but it was the only practical excuse I could think of. Edward didn't call me on it. "I'm sure you'll meet people once all this shit blows over anyway."

It was quiet for a few minutes. Edward was staring out the window, but he seemed legitimately interested. His head was moving all around, looking at different things. It was just a dark highway road, I wasn't sure what all there was to look at, but I guess he was just taking it all in. It sucked that he was so fascinated by something so ordinary, but it also made me want to show Edward everything he had been missing. He had lost time to make up for. I wanted to help him do it.

My phone ringing in Edward's hand snapped us out of the silence. He jumped a little and I wanted to laugh a little, but I did my best to hold it in. I held out my hand and he gave my phone back. Glancing at the screen, I was surprised to see that it wasn't Mom, but Rose.

I thought about ignoring it, but then I would have to explain to Edward.

"Hey Rose."

"Hey, are you coming over?" she asked, sounding a bit rushed. I racked my brain for a minute, trying to remember if we had made plans that I forgot about.

"Uh, actually me and Edward are going for some dinner. Did we have plans?" I hoped that wouldn't piss her off.

"Oh…not really, I guess I just assumed you would. You're taking Edward out though? Did your parents make him go?"

I chuckled a little before saying, "No, no, nothing like that, we just wanted to get out of the house for a while. We're on the highway going up to Port Angeles." I had to be careful of saying something stupid in front of Edward. Rose wasn't really caught up on his status. She knew who he was of course, but I don't think she really understood what rough shape he had come here in.

"Oh…well am I ever going to get to meet this guy?"

"Um, I mean I guess. But I would have to ask first."

"Your parents or Edward?" she asked a little sarcastically.

"Both, I guess."

"You should have people over this weekend. Jasper and Bella. Maybe Jake too...we can all meet him."

"Listen, I have to ask first, I'm not sure if…" I glanced at Edward, he was looking out the window, "If I'm allowed to do that. I'll let you know, okay?"

"Okay…" she sounded suspicious.

"Alight, I'm driving so I should go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you."

"Alright, love you," I mumbled, for some reason embarrassed.

"Love you too…" she said, sounding a little funny before she hung up.

I didn't know what I was going to do about Rose. I felt like I was lying to her. But I didn't want to break up with her and I didn't want her to be my girlfriend anymore, so what the hell was I supposed to do?

"Rosalie wants to meet you," I told Edward when I was tired of my internal indecision.

"Oh? Why?"

"I don't know. I guess she's curious. I mean, you live with us now, so why wouldn't she?"

"Does she know…you know, who I am?"

"Uh, yeah. But she's the only one I think. She would never say anything, you know." As much as I was confused about our relationship, I did trust Rose. She would never say anything to hurt a family member.

"It's fine. Everyone's going to figure it out eventually, right?" He sounded almost wishful, like he wanted people to know.

"I guess they will.… Do you want people to know?" I asked, confused as to why that was something somebody would want attention for.

"No. But sooner or later, someone's gonna figure out where I am. I guess I'm just dreading it, but it'll be nice when it's over." I didn't know if it would be over. Would there be a time that he wasn't a big deal? "It'd be nice to meet one person who didn't know," he added at the end.

"I bet more people are clueless than you think. You should meet my other friends. None of them pay any attention to the news or anything. Mom and Dad didn't want us to say anything to them, so I bet they wouldn't know, at least at first."

He was quiet for a minute. He seemed thoughtful, but what he asked next I didn't expect. "Do you watch the news?" I knew what he was really asking.

"No. I don't want to support all the stuff they say about you. It's nobody's business. Except…okay I admit I Googled you. But it was before you moved in. I expect anything people wright about you now is bullshit anyway. You haven't talked to anyone, how would they know anything?"

"You Googled me?" He sounded confused.

"Yeah, man. You haven't looked yourself up online?" I was surprised at that. If I was in his position I would want to know what people were saying about me, even if none of it was true. But maybe he just wanted to forget about it.

"Where are we going, exactly?" It didn't escape my notice that he changed the subject without answering.

"Well, Port Angeles is a little bit of a drive, we should be there in another half hour or so. Sorry I didn't warn you how far it was…" I hoped he wasn't mad that I was keeping him in the car so long.

"No, it's okay, I kind of like car rides now."

"Yeah? Are you going to learn to drive soon?" I'm sure Dad would buy him a nice car.

"I don't know, Carlisle offered to teach me but…"

"But what? I'm sure he'd love to." I know Dad was feeling a little bad about freaking Edward out on several occasions. He was afraid Edward was scared of him now and I sort of agreed. Whenever I watched them in the same room, Edward obviously avoided him, sitting away from him or taking the long way around so he didn't walk right by him. It was a little sad though, because Dad was pretty much the gentlest, kindest guy ever, so Edward didn't have any reason to be afraid of him.

"Yeah, I just don't want to bother him. I'm sure he's busy. I don't have anywhere to go anyway."

He kept saying stuff like that; he didn't know anyone, he didn't have anywhere to go, it was like he thought he had no purpose. He needed to get out more and maybe meeting my friends was a good idea.

"You'll find places to go. I bet you would like driving. I could teach you," I said, excited at the idea although I knew Carlisle would never go for it.

He looked at me with raised eyebrows, like he didn't believe me.

"Seriously!"

Edward scoffed a little and shook his head.

"That's it, I'm teaching you. Tomorrow. After school. Living room," I said matter of factly.

"You're going to teach me how to drive…in the living room."

"You sound like you don't trust me! I'm an excellent driver, I'll show you how it's done, you just wait."

"Mhmm," he said, amused.

I liked that I could make him sound like that. He had talked way more than I had ever heard before, and he was completely keeping up with everything I said, even though it would be expected that some of it would go over his head. He was even being a bit sarcastic. My parents definitely tiptoe around him way too much. He was going to be fine.

I, on the other hand, most definitely would not be okay.

EPOV

When he finally pulled off the highway, it was obvious that Emmett was very excited about wherever he was taking me. The city we drove into was much smaller than Seattle, but still huge compared to Forks. I had really only seen the one main road in my new hometown, and it didn't seem like much was there. Here, in Port Angeles, there at least seemed to be some activity.

Emmett drove through the streets, pointing out important features of the town, the waterfront, movie theatre, shopping, a bookstore, and a few restaurants before he turned down yet another street and finally parked the car on the side of the street. I was trying to take everything in but he was driving too fast. I tried not to be too obvious that I was fascinated by all the action and new places, but I knew Emmett would catch on with my head constantly turning this way and that. Finally, he pulled the car to the side of the road and parked.

It was dark by now. There weren't many people around but a few were walking swiftly on the sidewalk, no doubt eager to get to their destination and out of the cold.

"I hope you like Mexican food. This place has fantastic burritos. We should probably get them to go though. I'm sure Mom is freaking out by now," he told me while he turned the car off and grabbed his phone from the cup holder it had been resting in.

He opened his door and stepped out, closing the door behind him. I was frozen in my seat. I didn't want to get out of the car. Trying to reason, I told myself that nobody here was going to hurt me. I was just going inside for a minute and I could come right back out, into the car and on my way home. Just get out of the car.

I reached for the door handle, but as I touched it, my hand was shaking. I didn't want to leave. I didn't know what was out there and I had no desire to find out. When I had asked Emmett if we could go get some food, I honestly wasn't really thinking about the final destination. I just wanted to get out of the house.

But now, yet again, I was making a freak of myself in front of Emmett. Why did I get myself into these situations? I could have just stayed in my room tonight, safe and warm, and without the possibility of embarrassment. But now I was here, and I had to move.

Right before I was going to force myself to step out of the car, Emmett's door opened again. I jumped, stupidly expecting some crazed lunatic who had come in after me while Emmett was all of two feet away.

It was only Emmett of course. He stuck his head back in and when I glanced at his face, he looked concerned.

"Are you coming in man? It's just right there," he told me, pointing to the storefront about ten feet away from the spot on the curb where we were parked. I nodded, trying to look like I didn't think it was a big deal.

Finally, I opened the door handle and pushed the door open. I stepped out onto the sidewalk and straightened up, looking around for Emmett.

He was already on the sidewalk in front of me, motioning to the restaurant. I took a step forward, trying to relax.

I was only a few feet from Emmett, but when a middle-aged woman wrapped up tight in her coat and scarf walked between us, I froze, trying to make sure she didn't notice me. Unfortunately, I saw her eyes dart to my face. The moment was longer than I was okay with, and when we made eye contact, I just knew that she knew who I was. She must know about James and the things he did to me, she knew about my parents and where I was staying now, she could tell others and then my little circle of safety I had started to build would be gone.

When she passed me and consequently looked away, the moment was over and I realized that she obviously couldn't read my mind. She probably had no idea that I was anybody other than a random stranger on the street. It was only me that was making a big deal about it.

Emmett, having no idea of the terrifying moment I just had, was already at the door, holding it open and waiting for me.

I blinked rapidly and looked up at him, trying to slow down my breathing so he didn't realize something weird had happened.

He looked expectantly at me, and I realized I couldn't do this. Surely there were more people inside that I would not only have to look at, but probably talk to. I couldn't do it without making a freak of myself. I didn't want to try either. I decidedly didn't like people very much, if my interaction with that woman was any indication.

"I, um…uh I think I'll just wait in the car," I mumbled to him. I didn't think he would be able to hear me, but apparently he did.

When I looked up, he shrugged and said, "Sure, I'll be right back then." He held up the keys so I could see before tossing them to me. I caught them and watched him go inside the building.

I fumbled with the key in the lock because my hands were shaking so much. Eventually, I figured out that the black remote thing attached to the keychain was for the car too. It had a picture of an opened lock on it and when I pressed it, all the locks popped open. Relieved, I basically fell into the car and slammed the door behind me.

I tried to take some deep breathes, collecting myself before Emmett came back.

That could have been worse. I mean, it wasn't good, but it could have been really bad. Hopefully Emmett wouldn't bring it up.

When Emmett finally did come back, he was holding a huge brown paper bag and drinks. He didn't say anything about what just happened with me, focusing on the food and telling me how to eat the giant burrito he bought me.

We didn't talk as much, Emmett only pointing out a few things around town that he didn't mention before. I tried to eat all of my food, it was good but way too much, and after forcing it all down, I felt a little sick.

It sucked that I had made the situation awkward yet again, but I tried to be positive about it. At least Emmett didn't feel the need to force conversation. We were alright just sitting, me taking in the road and him driving. I wasn't sure if it was just me that felt the atmosphere shift. Emmett seemed fine, just quieter than usual.

We eventually made it back to the house. All of the visitors were thankfully gone and Esme and Carlisle were relaxing in the living room.

After I reassured them that I was fine several times, they finally let me be. I made my way to my room, happy to forget the day's events and fall asleep.

Wednesday, December 1st

When I woke up the next morning, I felt…good. I had been expecting to have nightmares after the long day yesterday, but I slept through the night. I was thrilled to have the business with the police over with. I wanted to forget about all that had happened and start over with this family. I didn't have anything looming over my head anymore. I could focus on living my life.

I got up, showered, got dressed, and went downstairs around nine. I found Esme in the kitchen, as expected. Emmett and Alice were presumably at school and Carlisle at work. It was nice that everyone was where I expected them to be. No surprises today.

"Good morning," I said to Esme before she even noticed me. She looked up from the paper, surprised.

"Well you're up early this morning. Feeling alright today?" I wished she wouldn't ask that. She just assumed that I would be upset about yesterday. I was trying to forget it, so I brushed it off with a nod.

"Would you like some breakfast? I can make you some eggs and-"

"Actually, can I get it? I'll just eat cereal if that's okay." I wanted to do something for myself, tired of her waiting on me all the time. I could do it.

"Oh…sure you can, you know where everything is?" I nodded again before going about my business. I went to the pantry and got the box before getting a bowl and spoon. I grabbed the milk and orange juice from the fridge, fixing my cereal and a glass of juice and sitting down next to Esme at the table. She smiled at me while I started to eat.

"So you had a good time last night with Emmett?" she started. I knew she wanted to ask more questions last night but was holding back.

"Yeah. We got burritos and he showed me some stuff in Port Angeles." I tried to give her some details.

"Oh, good. Port Angeles is the closest real city to us, you'll probably be spending a lot of time there." I nodded, already having learned this from Emmett. "I'm glad you two are getting along."

I guess we were getting along. I realized I had never made a decision about being okay with Emmett, I just was. It was strange that I had never considered fearing him. He was big and strong and male….things that should logically scare me. Maybe it was his humor or the carefree attitude he usually had, but it had never crossed my mind to try to stay away from him.

When I finished my breakfast, I cleaned out my dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Esme usually wanted to do this for me, but today she seemed happy to let me do it on my own.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you last night, but Dr. Garrison thinks you deserve a day off. She said she'll see you on Friday."

"Oh…okay." A free afternoon would be nice I suppose, not that I had much planned anyway. What was I supposed to do with a 'day off'?

Esme continued, not giving me much time to dwell on this new dilemma. "I have a few errands to run this morning. I've got to get something in the mail for a client and I thought I would do some grocery shopping while I'm out. Would you like to come with me?"

I sighed. How long could I deny her requests to go exploring the town with her? I just went out last night, wasn't that enough?

"You don't have to, you know. It's up to you." She only sounded a little disappointed. I was tired of not meeting her expectations. But the thought of walking around a grocery store while she shopped was way worse. I still had yet to successfully get out of a car in a public place and I didn't want another scene today.

"I guess I'd rather stay…if that's okay." I didn't look at her.

"Of course it is. You'll be okay here alone? Carlisle won't be home until about two, and I really want to get my package to the post office before then."

I haven't been alone in ….well I don't really ever remember being alone. Of course, at his house I was alone often, when he went to work, but it really wasn't any different than when he was home. I still stayed in my room. I didn't feel any more alone. It wasn't like I had privacy. It would be strange to say the least being all by myself in this big house, with nobody watching me or telling me what I could or couldn't do.

"If you don't feel comfortable with that, of course I'll stay. It's really not that important that I go out." I must have taken too long to answer, she was backtracking as fast as she could.

"No, it's fine. I'll be okay. You can leave, I'm fine alone."

I finally looked up at her, trying to see if I had been convincing. She was watching me intently, but I couldn't read her face.

"Okay. I know you'll be fine," she said, like she was trying to convince herself as well. I nodded, glad she wasn't going to treat me like a baby.

Soon enough, she was leaving me. She wrote down her cell number again and left it by the kitchen phone. I wasn't supposed to hesitate to call her for any reason. She told me she would only be gone for an hour tops.

Holding her purse, the package, and her car keys in her hand, she asked me one last time, "You're sure you're going to be okay?" I nodded, smiling a little at her concern. "Because you can come with me if you want." I shook my head no. "Okay. Bye, Edward. I'll be back soon." She opened the garage door and took a step out, but before shutting the door she turned back and said one more thing. "Edward? Explore the house a little, yeah? Snoop around some while nobody's looking. We don't mind." She smiled and I couldn't contain mine either. Finally, she shut the door. I watched her pull out and drive down the driveway from the living room window.

It was silent. Like really silent. My stomach felt funny, sort of nervous, but sort of excited at the same time. I looked around the big living room. Too many bad moments have already happened in this room, I couldn't help but have a bit of a grudge against it. No need to spend more time here anyway. I made my way upstairs. Esme told me to snoop, but I didn't really want to. Alice's door was wide open and I glanced in. It looked a lot like her. Pink and yellow, with posters on the walls and a counter with a mirror and lots of bottles. I thought about going in, but I didn't see much point, so I moved on. I went into the bathroom down the hall that I had never been in and then looked out a window that gave me a different view of the backyard. I think I could see the stream Esme had told me about.

Making a point to avoid Carlisle and Esme's room, I made my way further upstairs and found myself at Emmett's door. I had already seen into this room, but I found myself oddly interested. Curious. I pushed the door open, still standing outside.

It was as much of a mess as it was yesterday, but it didn't bother me too much. I mean, if my room was like this, I would be panicking, but it seemed normal for him to have a messy room. He was a teenage boy, he was supposed to be a slob, right?

His bed was pushed in the corner of the room, unlike mine which was in the middle. It was unmade and half the blankets were hanging on the floor. He had a huge TV, much like mine, but his was attached with all kinds of wires running to different remote things, I assumed different video games, although I had never played. On a board hanging on the wall close to his door, he had pictures. He was in most of them with a girl about his age, but some other pictures were with other guys and sports teams. There were a few with his family.

I never stepped foot into his room but all of a sudden, I wished I hadn't even looked inside. It just magnified all of the things that were different about us. He had a life, friends, and things to do. I was snooping around his room because I didn't know what to do with myself when I was alone.

After shutting the door to a crack like I found it, I went back downstairs immediately, wishing I hadn't even gone up there. Back on the main floor, I went into the room with the piano. It was shiny and big and looked like something I wasn't allowed to touch. But I did. I went over to it and for some reason just wanted to run my fingers along its smooth top. Then I sat down at the bench. Opening the lid, I looked at the big black and white keys. They looked so fancy, like I would break them or ruin them if I touched them. So I looked at them for a while, just thinking.

All the shit with the police being over, I wondered what came next for me. I guess I still had meetings with Dr. Garrison for the foreseeable future, and I was surprisingly okay with that. She had gotten me through the whole interview thing relatively unscathed. She even gave me the day off from talking about it. She was okay.

Other than that, I guess I was just supposed to…hang out. Maybe I could ask Esme about the GED thing again. I should do that. That was probably the responsible thing to do, right? Emmett said his friends wanted to meet me. I didn't know about that, but if they came here, I guess I would be okay with that too. If I didn't like it, I could just go upstairs. It might be nice to know some people my age. Maybe.

My hand strayed to the white keys while I was lost in thought about what it would be like to hang out with Emmett's friends like a normal guy. My finger pressed down. They noise was loud and I jumped, not realizing how much noise it would make. But once I did it, I was curious and found myself pressing more keys, not making nice sounds, exactly, but the combinations were interesting and I found that different pressures made more and less sound. I timidly moved up and down the length of the keys, listening to the higher and lower notes, fascinated by the differences but how they were still the same….

Clearly I was distracted, because I heard a door open and it snapped me abruptly out of my zone. I stood up automatically and the piano bench scooted back from my knees. I closed the lid quickly, hoping that Esme hadn't heard me. I moved as silently as I could back to the living room, peeking around the corner towards the door.

"Edward?" Esme was looking towards me, clearly having heard my activities. I knew my face was red, but I hurried towards her like I was caught doing something horrible, which I guess I wasn't, but it was still a little embarrassing for some reason.

"Did everything go okay?" she asked, pretending she didn't see my red face. I nodded quickly.

"Good. Will you help me with the groceries?"

As I helped her unload the bags of groceries from the trunk of her car, she didn't say much, and I hoped she wouldn't ask about my time alone. Unfortunately, later, when she was fixing us some grilled cheese for lunch, she did.

"So, are you interested in the piano? Or in music in general?"

I shook my head, denying everything.

"It's okay if you are. I think that would be great. We could get you some lessons, maybe, and you could learn to play. Or a different instrument even."

"No, I was just, uh, I don't know, messing around I guess. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I told you to look around. If it's something that interests you, you should explore it."

I shook my head again and she let it drop. After eating with her, I gladly took a much needed break and napped in my room for an hour or two.

I was honestly a little tired of my bedroom and when I became bored again, I headed back downstairs, remembering Emmett's plans to teach me to drive, whatever that meant. He should be getting home soon.

When I hit the first flight of stairs, I heard them talking. Carlisle was obviously home, and he and Esme were talking in the kitchen. I stopped, not meaning to listen in but not wanting to interrupt them either. When I heard my name, I couldn't bring myself to go back upstairs.

"Edward's still just so hesitant, you know? Like he's scared of us. I don't know what to do to make him feel safe." She sounded like she was about to cry.

"It will take time, Esme. He's just adjusting. He'll get there on his own."

"I know. I know. But it's just so frustrating. I want to do something. I want to help him, give him something. Give him everything. Years' worth of things he should already have. But he doesn't ask for anything."

"Maybe he doesn't know what to ask for, or maybe he doesn't need anything you can give him right now. Either way, you can't force him. He just needs the time to get there."

"I want him to want things. He should get to be greedy. He's been through too much to hold himself back like he does. Doesn't he realize that the world's been unfair to him?"

I slid down and sat on a stair towards the top of the staircase and against the wall. I listened.

"There's just not enough that I can do, and I'm so frustrated. This is harder than I thought it was going to be."

My head was leaning against the wall now, and I was surprisingly calm. I heard Carlisle try to comfort Esme and then eventually she said she needed some air. The garage door opened again and I assumed they both went out, leaving me alone again.

When Carlisle came around the corner and my eyes met his, I couldn't even bring myself to be alarmed or scared. I didn't move. He looked up at me, clearly more surprised than I was, and sighed deeply. He ran a hand through his hair before climbing the stairs up to me. He turned and sat a few steps below me, turned to the side a little so I could see his face.

He didn't say anything, neither did I.

I wracked my brain for something to ask for. Esme wanted me to want something from her. I couldn't come up with anything. I wasn't in the habit of asking or wanting for things, and they had already given me so much, I couldn't image wanting something else from them.

But that's what they wanted. I should try to make them happy. Instead, I was making it hard on them. I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong, and I wish they would have told me before Esme got upset. I didn't want her to be upset. I thought we were okay.

After a long, still pause, Carlisle spoke. "It's been a long week, hasn't it?"

Once he broke the silence, I found myself eager to explain myself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm making it hard on you, I didn't mean to."

"Edward…none of this is your fault. I don't want you to be sorry, alright?" he asked, looking up at me.

"But Esme….I just don't know what I'm supposed to want from you, I don't want anything."

He nodded, silent again. He was obviously thinking things through and it scared me. Was he mad at me too? Eventually, he continued. "What Esme said…well it isn't your fault. It's our difficulty, not yours. You don't need to worry about anything, that's the last thing we want from you. All she meant was that we want to help you very badly and sometimes it's hard to see if anything we're doing is making it easier on you."

I didn't understand why they cared so much. I couldn't help but feel the pressure that all of their caring put on me. When if I never got any better than I was now? What if I failed them? They would be so disappointed in me and I didn't think I could take it, not after everything they have done for me.

"What you're doing right now, Edward, is very difficult. I don't have to tell you that, but I think you need to know that we are already very proud of you. You're hanging in there, and doing a much better job than we could have expected. Esme's frustration is directed towards us, me and her, not you. We just want to make sure that we're keeping up with what you need. We want you to feel safe and we want you to be happy. You should have everything you want, but I know that will take time. You can have all the time you need, we'll be here for as long as you need us. Anything you need or want, just say the word, okay?"

It was hard to believe what he said. I couldn't accept that none of this was my fault. No matter what he said, I could behave differently and Esme wouldn't be as frustrated as she is now. I could change, and she could feel better. I didn't really think I was doing such a terrific job as people keep saying. I mean, I didn't do much. I hadn't even been able to go in public like a normal person. If I'm doing better than they expected, what horrible person could they have assumed I would turn out to be?

"I do feel safe…here," I told him. Here, in this house, I did feel safe. Outside was a different story. Inside my head was also a different story, but I very rarely felt scared here, unless I was dreaming. That was such an amazing change of pace that I couldn't imagine having the right to ask for something else. In a few short weeks, I had gone from living in fear daily to being able to relax and actually be comfortable, even if only for short moments. Just to know what that felt like again was more than I ever hoped for.

"Good. You are safe." Carlisle was looking at me again and I found it hard to keep eye contact with him for so long. When I did meet his eyes, I saw honesty. He really meant it, and for the first time in a long time, I started to believe in the words spoken to me.