Thursday, December 9th
EPOV
In four nights I had gotten a total of about eight hours of sleep. Ever since I had been so convincingly shoved back into my bedroom in James's house, I just couldn't stay asleep. Not for lack of trying, as I usually went up to my room pretty early, telling whoever wanted an excuse that I was tired. Which was true. I got all comfortable in my nice huge bed the Cullen's had given me, complete with a seemingly endless supply of pillows, soft sheets and warm blankets. It was too comfortable.
I had no trouble drifting off to sleep. But as soon as I did, it was like my body shocked itself back to complete consciousness, unwilling to risk another trip into the nightmare. The few times I did manage to get past the drifting stage, I regretted it.
All things considered, I had been pretty lucky on the nightmare front ever since I came to the Cullen's. Most nights I slept soundly, probably too much so. I remember how Esme was worried that I slept too much.
When I was with James, I did have the occasional dream, but I mostly viewed sleep as the lesser of two evils rather than something to be afraid of. But now, my mind seemed to be playing games. I was supposed to be out of the real danger, so why were my dreams taking me back there? The few hours I had managed to stay asleep were nearly all spent in my old bedroom.
Whenever I woke up, I was sorry that I tried to sleep in the first place.
Unfortunately, it didn't take long until my exhaustion became obvious. Esme asked, but it was easy to dodge her questions. She always worried and didn't want to force me to answer. Dr. Garrison on the other hand was not so avoidable.
Yesterday, she pestered me to no end about why I was so tired. What had happened, why couldn't I relax, was I uncomfortable with anyone, what was on my mind, it kept going and going. I tried to assure her that nothing had changed since last week, and it hadn't. But it wasn't as easy to convince her that I was really okay. She knew better than I did that I was nowhere close to being okay.
It stung to know that there wasn't anything I could do to make that different.
I had yet another session with her tomorrow however and I feared she would try to take matters into her own hands if I did not appear more rested. Around midnight, well after I heard the rest of the house close their doors to their own sleep, I forced myself back to my bed, once again.
I was so exhausted that it only took a few minutes for my mind to drift, but soon I startled awake, sitting up immediately. My heart raced and I looked around, trying to find something that my subconscious deemed a threat to my safety. Of course, I found none.
Only ten minutes had passed since I forced my way onto the bed. It was useless.
Feeling beyond frustrated yet exhausted still, I grabbed a pillow and the fleece blanket from the bedpost and stood up. Now what?
I swayed a little and my eyes grew heavy. Looking at the bathroom door, I got an idea.
After going inside, locking the door, and throwing my supplies down into the bathtub, I climbed in and positioned myself the most comfortable way I could.
Without dwelling on the freakishness of this activity, my eyes closed of their own accord and I was asleep.
Friday, December 10th
I didn't remember a single dream, a blessing for my drained subconscious. What I woke up to wasn't so nice though.
"Edward?" Knocking. "Edward, are you alright? What's going on?"
About half a second after my eyes opened, I focused on the voice I was hearing and where I was currently laying.
I shot up, out of the tub, banging my shin on the edge before falling over myself in an effort to rescue this situation.
Grabbing the pillow and blanket, I shoved them underneath the bathroom counter, knocking over some bottles and silently cursing the noise they made. It was still dark in here, so I turned the light on, ran my fingers through my hair and opened the door.
Esme's face stared back at me. I was a little out of breath from my rush and the shock awake, and she definitely noticed.
"What's going on?" she asked again.
"Nothing." I shook my head. Swallowed.
She scrunched her eyebrows in disbelief, as I'm sure my frantic face said more than my unconvincing voice.
"You're okay?" I nodded, but when she peered over my shoulder, I had this horrible vision of her demanding to search the bathroom. I had to convince her.
"Yeah, I was just…about to shower."
She looked back at my face. "Uh huh. Alright…."
I nodded once again, giving a weak smile as well.
"Well I didn't hear you up yet so I came to check on you. You didn't come down for breakfast so make sure you get some lunch." She still looked suspicious but thankfully she had let my weird bathroom habits slide.
"Okay. I will." This time it was her nodding before she gave one last suspicious look over my shoulder and moved to my closet.
"I'm going to grab your laundry, is it all in here?"
My laundry had been mysteriously disappearing and reappearing when I was out of my room or in the shower, and I felt a little bad about Esme going through the trouble.
"Yeah, but I can do it," I told her, reaching for the door myself. In reality, I had no clue how to do my laundry, but maybe I could learn. I didn't go through a ton of clothes at his house, and he always did them himself when he felt like it. I surely didn't need to depend on Esme for something like this.
"Don't be silly, it's no trouble for me to do them. I do everyone's, Emmett doesn't know the first thing about a washer." She brushed my hands away and pulled the basket out of my closet before giving me a smile and leaving me alone again.
When I got a good look at my room in the light, I saw how obvious it was that I had left my bed in a strange state. The spot where my head would have clearly been was obviously missing the pillow and the blankets were thrown off, out of the way. No wonder she was suspicious.
When I did go downstairs, I was shocked to see that it was almost noon. Esme didn't ask about the bathroom again but she did comment on how much better rested I looked today.
I really did feel a lot better. It's amazing what a decent night's sleep can do, I guess. Even if it was in a bathtub.
Esme busied herself for a few minutes tapping away on her cell phone, and when she finally put it down and looked over at me as I finished my lunch, she smiled. A smile with a little guilty edge to it. I raised an eyebrow, putting down my sandwich and waiting for her to speak.
"I was going to tell you yesterday, but you were just so tired that I decided to wait, and then this morning you slept in, so now I'm afraid it's a bit short notice but…"
Oh god, that sounded bad. I swallowed hard and shifted in the chair.
"This afternoon, Mr. Johnson- do you remember him?" I nodded. He would be a hard one to forget. "He's scheduled a home visit today. It's very routine, he's just following protocol. He'll be here around two and he shouldn't need to stay too long."
I nodded, absorbing the information and wracking my brain for the threat behind this news to appear.
"What does he want?"
"He just wants to stop by and make sure you're adjusting well and that you're happy and comfortable in our home. He'll probably want to ask you some questions but nothing at all to worry about. It's mostly just a formality at this point."
Again, I nodded. That didn't sound so bad. I could handle all that.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I didn't want you to be worried about it but I should have given you a little more warning," she explained, looking guilty.
"It's okay. Probably better anyway." I would have worried and this way, it would all be over in a few hours.
"Good. He should be done by the time your appointment with Dr. Garrison starts."
With one final nod, I left the kitchen to go shower and change. I put my blanket and pillow back where they belonged and straitened my room up.
Carlisle came home from work early, and at two o'clock, the three of us were all waiting in the living room for the social worker to arrive.
I was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, but under the gaze of Carlisle, who seemed to be paying a lot of attention to me, I felt suddenly exposed. I wanted to run upstairs and get a sweatshirt, but almost as soon as the thought crossed my mind, Carlisle started talking.
"Just so you know, Edward, all your blood work came out just fine. Nothing to worry about there. Your shoulder seems to be all right for the time being as well, but I want you to let me know if it is giving you any pain or discomfort, alright?"
"Okay." I didn't look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me still.
"Has it been bothering you at all?" I shook my head this time, only lying a little bit. While I appreciated his concern for my health, it was weird that he was so focused on my shoulder problems. I mean, if I hadn't told him anything else, couldn't he just assume it was fine?
We fell into a bit of an awkward silence after that until, finally, there was a knock on the front door. Carlisle got up to answer it while Esme moved over to the couch I was sitting on.
She sat close to me and reached for my hand.
"You doing okay?" she asked quietly.
I chanced a glance up and her and said as convincingly as I could, "Yep, I'm fine." She patted my hand and let it go, directing her attention to the men at the door.
I looked up too, and saw my foster father and social worker shake hands and greet each other politely. He nodded and smiled towards Esme before addressing me.
"Edward, it's nice to see you again." His smile seemed genuine, but I couldn't help but feel that I was a bother to him.
Carlisle invited him to sit on the opposite couch with him, and the questions began almost at once.
"So how has it been for everybody? It's been almost a month you know. Time sure does seem to fly."
I was pretty sure this had been the slowest month of my life, actually.
"I think everything has been going pretty well. We're certainly glad you thought of us considering Edward, Mr. Johnson," Esme politely told him. My face reddened when she pointed out yet again that I was in need of someone to take me in.
They continued the small talk for a while, all dancing around the fact that everybody thought I was safe and as content as I could be here. When Mr. Johnson asked if he could speak with me alone, I tensed, wondering what he couldn't say in front of my foster parents.
When Esme and Carlisle disappeared to the kitchen, he switched seats to be closer to me. Leaning down with his elbows on his knees, he said, "You know you can speak freely with me, right Edward? I know we didn't get off on exactly the right foot, but know that it's my job to keep you safe."
That was an understatement. It seemed like just a few days ago I had met him for the first time. He came into my hospital room the morning after I had arrived, and I wasn't exactly in the best of moods. The doctors kept trying to convince me that I needed their tests and treatment. I kept refusing, but by the time Mr. Johnson came in, I was done trying to communicate. A silent denial was the best option I had, so I used it. He wanted to introduce himself, and explain what was going to happen in the days following my escape, but I didn't want to listen. Too many people were trying to tell me too much information and I didn't seem to have the room in my mind what with all the shock and terror running through every available thought. I was still convinced that James was going to walk in and demand to take me back. Could the doctors and nurses stop him? I didn't think so.
I don't think I said anything at all to Mr. Johnson at the hospital, and I regretted that now, seeing that it might make for an awkward conversation today.
Luckily, he seemed unphased by our previous meeting and started right in.
"How has living with the Cullen's been so far?"
"It's been good. They're great, really." I was being honest, and I hoped he could see that.
"Yeah? Do you guys talk a lot?" Strange question.
"Yeah, some." They did most of the talking, but still.
"And what about Emmett and Alice? You get along with them okay?"
I nodded.
"You've been seeing Dr. Garrison, do you feel like you're making progress with her?"
I shrugged this time, unable to really describe what I thought of our sessions. They were confusing, sure, but was that progress?
"Have you been getting out much?"
"Um, I went to Port Angeles with Emmett and a few other places…" It sounded pretty lame when all summed up like that, but at the time I felt they were pretty big accomplishments.
"That's great," he smiled, looking really happy. "What else have you gotten into? And sports or hobbies?"
"Uh, Esme got me a piano, for my room, I mean." I didn't include that I hadn't played it more than once. I thought about playing it a lot, I just felt a little silly doing it.
"That sounds like fun. I wish I had some inkling of musical ability," he tried to joke. When I didn't laugh he went on, unaffected. "So you're feeling pretty comfortable here then?"
I nodded hesitantly. I was as comfortable as I could get, I think.
"Okay. I know this whole situation is pretty crazy, but the Cullens are good people. They'll take care of you, Edward." I didn't respond, not having a clue what he wanted from me.
"Hey, I've got something from Seattle for you. It's in my car, why don't you go get Carlisle and Esme and head back in here so I can show you?" He stood up and waited until I did the same to head back to the front door.
That wasn't so bad. He didn't ask any questions about before I came here, and I was grateful for that. I had enough of those from other people. It seemed Mr. Johnson was worried about me in a different way now.
I went into the kitchen to find Carlisle and Esme huddled by the coffee maker, sipping and talking quietly. The sound of the front door opening and closing caused them to look up when I entered the room.
"Did he leave already?" Carlisle asked, very surprised.
"No, he's getting something from the car. I'm supposed to come and get you."
They both put their cups down immediately and followed me back to the living room without hesitation.
"Did it go okay?" Esme asked me.
"Yeah it wasn't that bad."
She chuckled and continued, "No, I didn't think it would be. Mr. Johnson was the social worker for Emmett and eventually Alice, you know. So they both know him pretty well also." She had never really said anything about Alice and Emmett's past, and I only knew Emmett was adopted because he told me. She spoke about it so casually, I wondered if it would ever be like that for me. That I could be just another kid they had taken in.
Mr. Johnson returned then, and I wasn't sure what I had been expecting him to bring in, but it sure wasn't the huge white fabric bag stuffed to the brim.
As he sat down again, he sat the bag on the table in between us and explained.
"There have been a slightly overwhelming amount of letters and packages pouring in. This is just a small fraction of what they have, or so I'm told. Of course, they all have been opened and searched for anything…unfriendly, but the majority of it has been positive."
He took out a stack of envelopes, all different shapes and sizes. Passing them along to Carlisle, who passed them to me. More were taken out of the bag, and this time Carlisle kept a few to look at for himself. I took my signal from him and studied the top envelope in my hand.
It had my name on it.
It was to me.
Flipping down through the stack of a dozen or so, I saw they were all the same. Letters to me.
"As I said, this is only a small percentage of what they have, some of it is still being sorted, but it would take days to sort through and read them all, so they just sent this first bag along with me."
What were these? What did all these people want with me?
"Can I open them, Edward?" Carlisle asked, indicating the few envelopes in his own hands. I nodded, not sure what else to do.
In fact, they were already opened, confirming the story Mr. Johnson had told, that they were all searched.
"What were they searching for?" I asked him, feeling the confusion showing on my face.
He hesitated, like he was deciding how much to tell me. "There are some wild people out there, Edward. They just wanted to make sure there were no negative comments or anything dangerous in them. Also, sometimes in cases like this, other information can pop up, sometimes through anonymous mail, like some of these are."
Carlisle was already reading some type of card from the first one, and I followed his lead by pulling the top one out.
It was just a simple piece of white paper. It was folded twice. My hands shook as I flattened it out. The message was written in a purple pen, with swoopy letters that were a little hard to read.
Edward, I was so touched to hear that you were retrieved safely! Thankfully, your nightmare is now over and you will surely enjoy the rest of your life as best you can. My family and I will continue to keep you in our prayers as you begin your journey to a happy life. You deserve the best life has to offer and I hope God blesses you from this day on.
Confusion spread rapidly through me and I passed the note off to Esme as she was leaning in, curious. I ripped the next one out on its envelope, desperate for more information.
This time, a bundle of dollar bills fell out when I flipped open a cheery, colorful card that said, Feel Better Soon! This message was shorter, but very direct.
Know that you have many people supporting you and awaiting your justice. May the vile man who does this to a child be sent straight to hell! Take back your life while he awaits his judgment.
I had read enough now. I closed the card, put the rest of the pile on the table, and sat back, staring at my folded hands. Taking deep breathes, I tried to hold it in. I couldn't freak out here, not now. Mr. Johnson was here and he was surely taking note of my actions. I could wait until I was alone. I was good at that.
"You don't want to read them?" Esme asked, picking up the one I just put down and scanning it.
I shrugged and shook my head, knowing that if I tried to explain, I would freak out on her.
"There's money in this one," she said a little questioningly, looking at Mr. Johnson for an answer.
"Yes, there's money in a lot of them, I'm told. It's all for Edward, just well-wishers trying to do their part, I suppose."
"I don't want their money," I blurted out. It was like they were trying to pay me, to make up for what I went through. As if any dollar amount could take it back, or lessen the blow. Why did they feel the need to try anyway? It wasn't their fault. It wasn't their burden.
I didn't look up, but I could feel everybody's eyes on me, wondering why I was troubled by this sudden turn of events. I wasn't going to explain.
Right then, the front door opened. Startled, my eyes went to it and I saw Alice, followed shortly after by Emmett, entering the house.
"Hey! Mr. Johnson, long time no see," Emmett said with a big smile. He swung the door shut and walked over to us, where he shook his hand, still with a huge happy smile on his face.
"It's great to see you Emmett, how have you been?" Mr. Johnson asked with an equally pleased grin.
"Oh, everything's been pretty good, I guess. I'm ready for Christmas break but everything is fine."
"You playing basketball this year?"
"Nope, not anymore. I'll start up with track after break though, for football, you know," Emmett told him. He nodded, approving and turned his attention to Alice, who was standing a little more hesitantly by the stairs.
"Alice, great to see you as well. School going okay?"
"Of course it is, Mr. Johnson," she replied with a smile and a slight roll of her eyes.
"What is all this stuff?" Emmett asked, moving towards the pile of letters that had now been spread across the table.
"They're letters, and they're Edward's, not yours," Carlisle replied pointedly, seeing that Emmett hadn't hesitated to pick one up and flip it over, looking at the address.
"Oh," he looked up, a little guiltily, and dropped the letter back on the table. "My bad, sorry."
I shook my head, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. "It's fine."
Yet another awkward silence filled the living room, as it seemed to whenever I was present. When nobody had talked for several seconds, I risked a look up at Esme, who was biting her lip in worry.
"Can I go wait upstairs?" I asked quietly, hoping desperately that they were done with me here.
"Of course you can, honey. I'll send her up."
I was out of my seat and gone before she had finished. Past Alice, up the stairs, and into Carlisle's office, where I could await my next round of torture.
I didn't sit yet, as I normally did whenever I came into this room. Instead, I paced around the room, trying to distract myself with the shelves lined with books in all sizes and colors. A lot of them seemed medical related on one side, and on the opposite wall were other, more creatively titled and more worn books.
I wondered if he minded giving up three hours a week to let me and Dr. Garrison meet in here. I suppose sometimes he was still at work when we were here, but sometimes he was already home and it wasn't really fair that I had taken over this room.
Come to think of it, my whole presence in this house wasn't exactly fair. All I did was upturn their perfectly organized and structured lives and add in my own fucked up drama to them. Through whatever crazed motivation had allowed them to think taking me in was a good idea, I doubted that even they could deny that I was anything other than a nuisance. Normal families didn't have to constantly check up on a teenage boy to see if they were eating and sleeping, they didn't have to have police and social workers coming to their home, interrogating them and disrupting their day. And regular siblings didn't come home from school to find a pile of letters full of pity money and guilty well-wishers dumped on their coffee table.
I wondered if how Emmett and Alice had come to be here. How had they adjusted so easily? They spoke to Mr. Johnson like he was an old friend. I would never have that. It would always be awkward and forced and memories of terror would be mixed in with the confusion.
But it didn't matter, because where else would I go? What else would I ever do with my life if the Cullen's didn't help me? I had nothing, and no one, to help me except these people downstairs. It was bad enough to be so dependent on them, but I couldn't imagine how they would still want me after all that they knew. If they could go back, would they still help me? They shouldn't. I was a new weight they had to carry, and why should they? What was I doing for them? I was so dependent on them, but what could I ever do in return?
I felt tears. They dropped but I didn't bother to stop them.
I couldn't not think about James now, he had put me here, in this spot, without my own parents or even my own strength to stand on. It was easy to be mad at him, blame him for everything that happened to me on a day to day basis, but it didn't change where I was now. It didn't do any good to be upset with him, because only I could do anything about it from here. I was alone, that was clear.
There was a knock on the door but Dr. Garrison wasn't really one for waiting on me to answer, so I heard her walk right in and shut the door behind her.
"Edward? Are you ready?"
I was facing away from the door, so I sniffed and wiped my face of tears with my sleeves before she could see, although she probably noticed anyway.
"Are you okay?" she suddenly sounded very unlike herself. Her voice was full of sympathy, or pity, or something. I didn't quite know the difference between the two.
Turning around abruptly, I quickly found my seat and replied with a sharp, "yes."
She sat down herself, in the chair close to me, and hesitated. I fidgeted, pulling my sleeves down harshly, feeling the wet spots on the ends. She finally made up her mind and didn't directly ask me what was wrong, but her first topic told me she had a pretty good guess.
"I heard about all of the letters downstairs."
I shifted in my seat, slouching down so far that I could rest my head on the back of it, suddenly feeling exhausted.
"You don't want to read them?"
She sounded legitimately confused, so I shook my head, confirming what she had deduced from my actions.
"Why is it upsetting you?"
It was silly, and I didn't need her to tell me as much.
"I think you could find support from them. If people took the time to write specifically to you, they must have felt strongly for you. Do you disagree?"
No, I didn't disagree. Obviously, what she said was true, but that was the problem, not the solution.
Quietly, and looking at the fabric of my cuffs that I was pulling tight against my fists, I told her why I was upset.
"It's embarrassing. I don't want people to know."
"And what exactly is it that you think people know?"
I shrugged. "Everything."
She sighed. "Edward, only you and Owens really know what happened. As far as I'm aware, you haven't told anybody, and if anything you have read indicates otherwise, they are purely making speculations, which is worthless when you know the truth."
I felt tears drop down my cheeks again. I couldn't find it in me to care about crying in front of her when I was faced with that. I didn't want to know it either. Why was it me?
"You know, in my profession we are pretty big believers in the 'a burden shared is a burden halved' idea, and I know it's not that simple for you, but I think if you could let some of it go, you could make it so much easier for yourself. You don't have to keep everything inside, Edward. You have every right to be upset, or angry or scared or frustrated or embarrassed. But I'm here because I think I can help you. I want to help you."
This mystery wasn't so hard to solve. I mean, she was being paid to help me, so it wasn't really that impressive. At the same time, that did sort of make her a safer option. If I were to actually try her whole share the burden thing, she was the only one that wasn't personally involved in my life. It would be okay to tell her things, but that didn't mean I wanted to. I still would be way too embarrassed to ever feel comfortable telling her what I really thought.
I was quiet for too long. She asked more questions.
"Did you read any of them?" I nodded. "What did they say?"
"They were….mad. At him, I guess."
"And you're surprised by this?"
"I don't know. I guess not." I guess my story might make people afraid of others like Owens, and it would in effect make them angry for putting them in danger. "I just don't get why they are so worried about it. I mean, they sent me money. They don't know me."
"That must be strange. Not knowing them but seeing them pretend that they know you." I nodded. "I don't know how much you are aware of, but when you went missing, you were quite the talk of Washington. Your story was in the newspaper and on TV, anywhere just to get the word out that you were missing. Your face- the image from the first picture I showed you- was everywhere. I think that some of the people that remember that time and hoped for you to be found really do feel like they know you. They heard your story and some helped with searches and they were connected to you, even if you didn't know it. They hoped and prayed that you would be alright. Now that you are, they want to share something with you."
"Everyone thought I was dead," I told her. I had never heard of these searches and newspaper stories.
I hadn't looked up at her still, but I saw her shake her head. "That was a possibility, but the hope was still there. They would believe you were alive until they had reason to think otherwise."
"I still don't have anything to give them, there's no reason for them to want to share something with me."
"They don't want anything from you, Edward. No one does. Owens took a lot from you, but not everything, and what you have left is very important, because it's the strongest part of you. Nobody wants you to lose any other part of your life. They just want you to enjoy what you have now."
I didn't believe that many people could ask so selflessly. It didn't add up with what I had learned about people. I knew not everyone was like him, of course, but people generally looked out for themselves.
Even if Dr. Garrison said I had strength left, I sure didn't feel it then. I felt tired and confused and I just wanted to be alone again. I wanted to ignore life, which I happened to be pretty good at.
The hour wasn't up, but I asked if I could be done anyway. She, thankfully, took pity on me, telling me she would see me on Monday.
EmPOV
School was finally winding down before break and with only a week to go, class on Friday was beyond dull. When the final bell rang, I immediately tracked Alice down, not in the mood to wait for her to socialize with her friends. I managed to get her and get out before Rose found me as well, and while I told myself I would not actively avoid her, I didn't exactly go looking for her a lot.
I was sure she was noticing my odd behavior around her. I was distancing myself, slowly, but she was smart and I'm sure she saw it. I had to talk to her before break, the problem was that I had yet to decide exactly how much I was going to tell her. Somewhere between being completely honest by telling her everything and ignoring the whole liking guys topic there had to be a middle ground. There had to be a balance that I could get the job done while minimizing the hurt for her. I hadn't figured that out yet, so we stuck around in this awkward limbo.
So, I rounded up Alice, got us both in my Jeep, and headed home for the weekend.
Pulling into the driveway, an unusual car was blocking my spot. As soon as I walked in the front door, the feeling of deja vu washed over me.
Edward's story, although completely different than mine, was beginning to draw some connections to mine.
I first met Mr. Johnson when I was seven. He had taken me to a group home, but I was only there for a few weeks. I was a lucky one, and he had placed me pretty quickly with Carlisle and Esme. When he told me I wasn't going back to my parents, I was angry and relieved all at the same time. I thought the group home was only temporary and I would be going back with my parents soon, so when he told me I was going to go with the Cullens -for good- it freaked me out a little.
He picked me up from the crowded home and drove me down to Forks. The whole drive was spent with him constantly talking to me and reassuring me that my new foster parents would be very nice and that they would take care of me. He told me I would have my own room and be the only kid in their house. I would go to school and make lots of new friends. He was going to call and visit to check up on me and if I was having any problems, he would know about it.
When we finally got there, I was relieved to find out that he was right. Just by meeting them I could tell that Carlisle and Esme were the nicest, most caring people I had ever met. Mr. Johnson had stayed and chatted with them for hours, making sure I was okay and when I was ready for him to go, he promised that he would be back soon and wished me luck. As it turned out I didn't need any luck. My new parents did all the work for me, making my transition as easy as possible.
By the time Mr. Johnson came back for his visit, I had all but forgotten that he was supposed to check up on me. All the same, the four of us, Carlisle, Esme, Mr. Johnson, and myself, ended up sitting in the living room, much as they were now, discussing my behavior and if I was comfortable in Forks.
Now I had been replaced by Edward, and I didn't envy him one bit. I knew he hated the attention, and that's what he was going to get from this scenario.
But something else was different, and as I chatted with my old social worker, I took note of the bag of papers that had been occupying their attentions previous to my arrival.
"What is all this stuff?" I picked one of the papers up. It was thick, the envelope obviously holding several papers or maybe a card. Flipping it over, I saw Edward Masen written on it followed by a Seattle address.
"They're letters, and they're Edward's, not yours," Carlisle told me sharply.
"Oh. My bad, sorry," I said while I put the letter down. I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject. I mean, everyone else was obviously going through them.
"It's fine," Edward mumbled, doing anything but making eye contact with anyone in the room. His face was red, but what else was new, and he looked like he might be sick.
Conversation abruptly ended and I regretted interrupting their meeting.
Finally, Edward looked up at my mom and asked if he could go upstairs. As he basically ran out of the room, three pairs of concerned eyes followed him.
"Look, I'm sorry if I interrupted, it looked like everyone was looking at them. I didn't think he'd mind." I didn't know if Edward was really that upset, but Mom surely would be if she thought he was.
"That's alright, Emmett. We were finishing up anyway." Mr. Johnson smiled at me, reassuring me that he hadn't been interrupted in his work. A lot of time had passed since he had needed to reassure me, and a lot had changed too. With my height, I now looked down at him instead of up. I was no longer a scared, unsure child but he still tried to encourage me. I was grateful and proud that I got to grow up in this house, and I was even more grateful to Mr. Johnson for making that possible to Edward too.
He was here on business though and turned back to my parents. "I'll leave these with you, they're his anyway. If he wants the rest of it, we can make sure it gets to him. If not, they'll make sure to send along any money or gifts that come in."
"Thank you, and I'm sure he's grateful for them, he just gets a little overwhelmed sometimes, you understand," Carlisle excused Edward's behavior.
He waved it off. "I know, Dr. Cullen. Don't worry about it. I suppose it was a good thing that I didn't bring more of it," he laughed.
After we said our goodbyes, Carlisle walked him out, subtly going to talk with him in private, I'm sure.
"How was school?" Esme asked as she began to shove the letters back into the too full bag.
"Who are all these from?" I ignored her attempt at regular conversation and started picking up letters, pretending to help her clean but really trying to get a glance at some of them. On the four or five I managed to see before she snatched them from my hands, I saw a few random names and a few with no return address.
"They're not for you. Alice? How was school?"
Alice, who I had taken little notice of, was still standing by the stairs, holding her school things.
"It was pretty good. Can I go to the movies tomorrow?" she asked casually.
"I don't see why not. Who's going with you?" she asked as she closed the bag and picked it up, ending my hopes of searching through them.
"Jasper."
My head snapped up immediately, looking at my little sister. She, of course, was looking directly at Mom, and strategically avoiding me. But I knew better. She asked in front of me for a reason. She knew she was going to win, but I wasn't going down without a fight.
"No," I told her.
"He finally asked you?" They were completely ignoring me.
Alice's face went red a little and there was no denying her sickly little giddy smile.
"Yeah, at lunch today."
"At lunch? I was with Jasper at lunch." How had he gotten around me?
"After lunch," she clarified, finally acknowledging me. He had left a little early….
"Will he be driving?" Mom asked, obviously already decided.
"Yeah, he said he'd pick me up at five."
"That's not going to work," I told her.
"Okay, honey. Just be careful. Call me if you're going to be out later than ten-thirty, alright?"
"Ten-thirty? What would they possibly be doing for five and a half hours?"
"Thanks Mom," Alice said cheerfully and headed up the stairs.
I watched her go, wracking my brain for retaliation tactics. I came up with nothing by the time she disappeared.
Esme chuckled a little as she walked by, following Alice with the bag of mysterious letters.
"It's okay, honey. They'll be fine." She reached up on her tip toes and kissed my cheek before going up the stairs.
I played the only card I could think of. "Yeah, well she's not the only one going to the movies tomorrow, is she?"
Later, as I was sulking in my room, I was considering calling Rose and asking her to go with me, but I decided against it for two reasons. One, she would probably tell me to get a life and refuse to let me stalk my little sister, and two, I didn't know if I could be normal around her for an extended amount of time. Our usual movie theater activities wouldn't exactly be appropriate considering I was planning our break-up and might possibly probably be gay.
I did however get my laptop and figure out which movie she would be at, judging by the pick-up time and what movie a guy would think she would be interested in for a first date. No gory horror stuff, animations or action flicks, so that really only left the romantic comedy that had come out a few weeks ago. Great. I pinpointed the time I would need to be there and felt rather accomplished for a Friday night.
After a while, I heard the office door the Edward and his shrink were in open and the shuffling of feet that meant Edward was done for the night. That gave me an idea. I jumped off the bed and threw the door open, just in time to see Edward's close. Almost instantaneously, the doctor I had met in passing a few times appeared in the office doorway as well.
She smiled kindly as she went by, not stopping to make conversation like I expected her to. I guess she was here for a job, and that wasn't me.
After deciding not to knock on his door, I went back to my room until dinner time. By the time we sat down and served the food, Esme had already forbidden me from talking about the Alice and Jasper situation. Edward was quiet, not that it was unusual, but he seemed less engaged. Usually at dinner he at least tried to keep up with conversation, not joining in yet but at least looking at whoever was talking. Tonight, he kept his eyes on his plate only, and ate as little as possible.
If I hadn't already decided, I did then. A little trip to the movies was exactly what he needed. It would be good for him, to get out of the house but not have too much interacting to do. He could feel normal without lots of eyes on him. Whatever was in those letters, he needed a distraction and I could provide that for him. With a little help from Alice and her drama.
Instead of sticking around after dinner and watching TV like I usually would have, I followed Edward back upstairs.
Once out of earshot, I got his attention.
"Hey, Edward, tomorrow, would you go somewhere with me?" I asked, vaguely and a little rushed.
He paused, but then kept going up the stairs. "Where?"
"Uh…well I need to go to the movie theater. I'm following Alice. And yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but it's not."
He cracked the tiniest bit of a smile, but kept climbing and said, "I, uh…don't think I should. Thanks though."
"Dude, please? Don't make me beg you. I don't want to go by myself. That really would make me crazy."
He smiled a little more but no go. He shook his head.
We reached the landing between our rooms and I reached out my hand, gripping his elbow and stopping him. He froze, immediately looking down at my hand on his arm. Confused for a second, I stared at it too, before I realized that he might not be okay with me touching him. I let go, but he didn't look away from the spot. He didn't seem like he was going to be pissed or anything, so I continued.
"Look, will you please come with me? I think it would be a good distraction too." He finally looked at me, hesitantly, like he wasn't sure to be mad or not yet. "I mean, whatever's got you in this funk, you could forget about it. Get out of the house a little, you know? Plus you would seriously be doing me a favor."
He looked back down at his arm, and I wasn't sure if he had heard me, he had been quiet for so long. I was sure he was going to ignore me when finally, he said, "okay."
"Yeah?" He nodded. "Great. We'll leave a little bit after five, is that okay?" Another nod. "Cool."
I took a step back when I realized we were awkwardly close to each other and he wasn't leaving. My movement seemed to spur him and he finally shook his head a little bit and retreated into his room, closing the door without another word. I followed his example, and when my door was shut, I leaned against it and let out a long, harsh breathe I didn't realize I had been holding.
AN- Hey there…don't kill me :)) I'm very sorry. Really, I am. I hate excuses like this but I have been traveling a lot and just finished unpacking from a move, so I have been very busy and I just have not had the time to think about this story as much as I would like to. I very much appreciate all the support and encouraging words, that's definitely what got me to get going again on this. Rest assured, I will not quit on this story. I'm sorry I had to take a little break from it but I am ready to focus on it again. I feel so horrible knowing that people are waiting patiently (or impatiently) for an update and I have not provided, seeing as how I am often in the opposite position and I wonder just what on earth they are doing! I understand how it happens now and it is the reason I did not want to post this story until I was closer to finishing it in the first place. But now that I have started, I will continue to post as I write, even if it isn't the way I prefer to do things. I'll do my best to never ever ever leave you waiting this long again.
Anyway, next chapter is a big one for Edward, and maybe not in a good way. He's got some troubles coming ahead, but it'll be worth it. I'll try my hardest to get this next one out within the week to redeem myself a little.
Thanks a million for those who are sticking with me. Please review :))