Disclaimer: I don't own LoSH, the Macarena, Mamma Mia nor do I own the songs Lay All Your Love On Me and Barbie Girl. No duh :P
Oh yeah, Skittles and Drew belong to the LadyProtecta.
Author's Note: Wow! I am SO sorry….
It's been WEEKS since I've updated this….
I've just been really busy with school, since I've got extra math work (I'm skipping Math for my grade and going to the next level so I've got a bunch of catch-up math to do) and I've been getting all of these new ideas like The Arabian Nights and The Legion of Super Spoofs.
I know, no excuse, but I finally updated it! Cookies for me and those of you who didn't forget this fic because of my horrible job updating…. This is exactly 11 pages long in Microsoft Word and over 3,200 words.
Greenie and Louise are my OCs. Volcano Lad is Bffl's OC and he will be making an appearance in DisasterCode7's fic, Sector X…hopefully. I have NO idea what his personality is like, so he's gonna be OOC, kay? I think we all know Skittles and Drew, Brainy and Vi's little siblings. Also, Greenie's real name is Lenalia Iona Greene and Volcano Lad's real name is Sean Mindrel I think…
Anyhoo, here is the next chappie of Dare. Feel free to read, review or do both! :D
This chappie goes out to DC7. I hope you like it, Kiki.
What are you waiting for? Read the chappie already!
--
"Heya folks!" Greenie sipped her coffee before she grinned and waved at her loyal audience. "Welcome to another eppie of your favorite show, hosted by me- GREENIE!"
The Legion just groaned in the background as Cosmic Ape stepped up. With a detailed flurry of angry howling and jumping, he made his point very clear.
Greenie looked at them all sympathetically, and then smiled.
"Alight, I guess I'll let you guys have it," she said, defeated. "The bananas are in the staff trailer," she turned around to gather her papers.
"What?" Dream Girl cried. Cosmic Ape happily went over to the staff trailer, leaving his team irritated.
"Okay, first dare of the day!" Greenie said excitedly. "TheHuntresse dares Lightning Lad to make a fire show. Saturn Girl has to be his assistant. Violet gets clean up duty with Kell-El and Louise," Greenie finished.
"What's a fire show?" Superman asked innocently.
"I believe you are referring to a firework show, yes?" Brainy corrected.
"I don't know," Greenie shrugged.
"So, what exactly do we have to do?" Lightning Lad asked.
"Don't look at me," Saturn Girl answered.
"You're paying attention to me!" Lightning Lad glomped Saturn Girl.
"I'm confused," Kell chipped in. "Who's Louise again?"
"Me, smart –bleep-!" Louise said right behind Kell.
"I thought you left, Louise," Violet said to her friend. "How come Kell, Louise and I have kitchen duty?"
"It's clean up duty," Brainy corrected.
"Same difference," Violet retorted.
"Would ya'll be quiet!" Greenie yelled. "Let's just skip the dare, huh?"
"Aww!" Lightning Lad whined.
--
"Next dare!" Greenie exclaimed. "DisasterCode7 dares VL to come…bug Greenie…" Greenie grit her teeth.
"What's a VL?" Brainy inquired.
"Just the most annoying, ugly and stinky creature to grace the universe," Greenie replied.
"Lenalia!" Volcano Lad walked into the studio and gave Greenie a hug.
"Sean! What the sprock are you doing here?? This is MY show!" Greenie growled.
"I'm just here to bother you, toots," Volcano Lad winked at her.
"You better leave if you know what's good for you!" Greenie dropped her papers and sent Brainy flying into Volcano Lad.
"No fair!" Volcano Lad pouted. "You don't see me using my powers!"
"GET OUT!" Greenie shrieked.
"What happened to the sweet, innocent chick you were last year?" Volcano Lad whined.
"Get a life you son of a –bleep-!" Greenie threw her papers in his face.
"Why was Greenie censored?" Phantom Girl asked. "This is a T, y'know…"
"Maybe…" Volcano Lad theorized. "Greenie is hopelessly in love with me!"
"Get the –bleep- out of here!" Greenie screeched.
"The question still stands…" Phantom Girl deadpanned.
"Babe, you know we were meant for each other. Plus, we ALL saw you check me out earlier," Volcano Lad had a smug smile on his face.
Greenie narrowed her eyes before taking a deep breath in and walking away.
"Aww! You're no fun!" Volcano Lad cried.
--
"Next dare," Greenie said angrily.
"Uh oh," Timber Wolf whispered to Phantom Girl. "Greenie's angry, this can't be good."
"Killer-Chan dares the LOSH boys have to be turned into girls! Plus, once the boys turn back, they have to wear mini skirts! And the LOSH girls have to give the LOSH boys makeovers!" Greenie laughed evilly.
"Man! I really hate this woman!" Kell cried. "Wait…Killer-Chan IS female, right? Killer-Chan isn't Imperiex in disguise or anything…RIGHT?" Kell shuddered visibly.
"Well?" Greenie put her hand on her hip impatiently. "What are you waiting for? Oh right!" Greenie snapped her fingers and the LoSH guys found themselves gaining a few things, as well as loosing a few…
"I HAVE –bleep-!!" Lightning Lad cried.
"Whatever," Phantom Girl mumbled.
"Okay, Lightning Lass, Superwoman X, Timber Wolf, Chameleon Girl, Superwoman, Brainiac 5.1 and Bouncing Girl need mini skirts, ASAP! Come on, ladies! Let's –bleep-!" Greenie clapped her hands impatiently.
"What the –bleep-?" Greenie muttered. "Why the –bleep- am I constantly being –bleep-?"
"ARGH! THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Phantom Girl yelled.
"-bleep- guy! What the –bleep-!" Greenie stomped her foot angrily. Her eyes flashed yellow as she raised her arms.
"Um," Saturn Girl started. "Come on, guys! We have to get some mini skirts…"
The girls scrounged around the studio for mini skirts and eventually found some.
"Here," Phantom Girl gave the clothes to Greenie who then snapped her fingers. The skirts were on the presently female legionnaires.
"We look like –bleep-!" Brainy cried.
"Seriously," Lightning Lass scanned her nails. "Like, we're like, dressed like frickin' ho--bleep-!"
"Like OMG!" Bouncing Girl looked at herself. "I'm like fat!"
"Okay…." Greenie said slowly.
"Like OMG!" Superwoman shrieked. "We like haven't shaved our legs in like FOREVER!"
"This is disturbing," Triplicate Girl buried her face in her palms.
"Okay! Next dare!" Greenie snapped her fingers and the guys turned into guys again. "So…Makeovers!" Greenie snapped her fingers yet again and various beauty supplies were in the arms of the ladies.
"Uh oh," Kell-El slowly backed away. The ladies grinned evilly as they went rabid.
Triplicate Girl chased Kell as she applied mascara and eye shadow. After a light layer of blush and a soft tint of lipstick, Kell was done.
Saturn Girl applied blue eye shadow along with a soft lime highlight on Brainy's eyelids.
Violet rolled up a tube dark purple lipstick and applied it to Superman's lips.
"Blot," Violet said gently.
Phantom Girl chased Timber Wolf until he let her do his hair. She braided it, then added little pink flowers and confetti. She also splattered glitter all over Chameleon Boy's face.
Dream Girl took some blush and lightly brushed it on Bouncing Boy's rosy cheeks. She used bronzer to bring out his eyes.
After the makeovers were complete, the male legionnaires looked like completely different people.
"You guys make revolting women!" Greenie cried as she snapped her fingers, restoring their original faces.
"How come Cosmic Whathisname didn't get turned into a –bleep-?" Volcano Lad asked as he leaned back in Greenie's chair.
"He's an ape, moron. The dare clearly said 'BOYS'. Now, GET OFF MY –bleep- CHAIR!" Greenie punched Volcano Lad's lights out.
"Remind me never to get on her nerves…" Kell whispered to Lightning Lad.
--
"Next dare," Greenie said cheerily. "Spicycute199dares Brainy to slick his hair back with his hand and grin," she looked at Brainy expectantly.
Brainy sighed. "Fine," he muttered.
Brainy walked up to center stage and put his hand behind his head, posing. Then he shifted his weight to one side, making a dramatic expression. Suddenly, he slicked his hair back and winked at a girl in the audience. He grinned at her right before she fainted.
--
"Stormgirl415 and Marth HEART Smallville dare a couple in the Legion to sing Lay All Your Love On Me from Mamma Mia," Greenie announced. "Now, who should that lucky couple be? Timber Wolf and Phantom Girl? Kell and Louise? Audience, please punch in your selection on the remote control located next to your seat," Greenie requested.
After the poll was tallied up, an envelope was handed to Greenie. Before she opened it, she announced, "I think we all know who it's going to be," she grinned. Greenie opened the envelope as a formality and laid her eyes upon it.
"GREENIE AND VL??" Greenie's voiced echoed through every crevice of the studio.
"I'm alright with that," Volcano Lad turned on his microphone as the lights dimmed.
"YOU CAN'T –bleep- DO THIS! I'm in charge!" Greenie cried.
The music started and Volcano Lad took the cue.
"I wasn't jealous before we met; Now every man that I see is a potential threat; And I'm possessive, it isn't nice; You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice; But now it isn't true; Now everything is new; And all I've learned; Has overturned; I beg of you," Volcano Lad started.
"Don't go wasting your emotion; Lay all your love on me...; It was like shooting a sitting duck; A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck; I still don't know what you've done with me; A grown-up woman should never fall so easily; I feel a kind of fear; When I don't have you near; Unsatisfied; I skip my pride; I beg you dear," Greenie chimed in.
"Don't go wasting your emotion; Lay all your love on me," Volcano Lad stepped closer to Greenie.
"Don't go sharing your devotion; Lay all your love on me," the male legionnaires sang in perfect harmony.
"I've had a few little love affairs; They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce," Greenie stepped closer to Volcano Lad.
"I used to think that was sensible; It makes the truth even more incomprehensible," Volcano Lad sang.
"'Cause everything is new; And everything is you; And all I've learned; Has overturned; What can I do?; Don't go wasting your emotion; Lay all your love on me; Don't go sharing your devotion; Lay all your love on me," Greenie and Volcano Lad sang at the same time.
"Don't go wasting your emotion; Lay all your love on me; Don't go sharing your devotion; Lay all your love on me," the ladies finished.
Volcano Lad and Greenie were such close proximity they could have kissed. Volcano Lad leaned in closer, as did Greenie. When their lips nearly touched, Greenie jerked back and slapped Volcano Lad on the right cheek, leaving a bright red handprint.
"You –bleep-!" Greenie said before walking away.
"Wha…" Volcano Lad, said confused.
--
"LadyGuardianofKeondes dares the Dox siblings to annoy each other as normal," Greenie dared. In the snap of a finger, Skittles and Drew joined the Legion on stage.
"What the –bleep-? Where the –bleep- are we?" Skittles looked around.
"Mind your language!" Drew reprimanded. Skittles just stuck her tongue out.
"Brainy! Guess what Vi wrote in her diary about you?" Drew asked their older brother. Violet started blushing profusely.
"Stop!" Skittles hissed as she tore the diary from Drew's clutches.
"Hey!" Drew pulled the diary back. It flew out of their grips and hit the window of the studio, breaking it.
"HEY! You're paying for that!" Greenie yelled angrily.
"Brainy! You blew up water again?" Skittles cried. "Even I can't do that!"
"That is simply why magic is better," Drew said smugly.
"Powers!" Brainy cried.
"Magic!" Drew countered.
"SHUT IT!" Skittles yelled.
"At least we aren't in love with the fluffy wuffy gang!" Drew stuck his tongue out.
Skittles pouted as she munched on a dried mango.
"How many of those have you eaten?" Brainy said incredulously.
"Only forty seven," Skittles answered.
"You are so irking!" Drew pointed at Skittles, who stuck her tongue out.
"Children!" Brianna Dox sighed. "I will say this as nicely as I can- shut up."
"PLEASE!" Greenie groaned right before she punched Volcano Lad.
"Mom!" Skittles and Drew whined.
"No," Brianna gave them a hard stare. "Let's go," she pinched each on the ear as she dragged them out of the studio. "Brainy dear," Brianna turned around. "Make sure you clean your platons," she walked out with the door, leaving a blushing Brainy.
--
"LOSHLOVERXOXO dares the LoSH guys to sing Barbie Girl by Aqua and they have to be dressed up in high heels and make up," Greenie announced.
"Again?" Kell complained. Greenie snapped her fingers and the guys were in the clothes they had earlier.
Lightning Lad groaned. "What the –bleep- do people do this to us for?"
"I know! What did we ever do to you guys?" Cham added.
"Nothing…yet…" Greenie answered, trying to contain her laughter. "Start singing!" she burst our giggling along with everyone else.
The annoying, preppy, upbeat music came on and the spotlight centered on the crossed-dressed guys.
"I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world!" Cham started.
"Life in plastic, it's fantastic!" Lightning Lad added.
"You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere," Kell groaned.
"Imagination, life is your creation," Bouncing Boy sang.
"Come on Barbie! Let's party!" Timber Wolf finished the verse.
"I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world;Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly," Brainy sang slowly.
"You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink; kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky..." Volcano Lad did the Macarena.
"You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"," everyone sang at the same time.
"Come on Barbie, let's go party! (Ah-ah-ah-yeah) Come on Barbie, let's go party! (uu-oooh-u) Come on Barbie, let's go party! (Ah-ah-ah-yeah) Come on Barbie, let's go party! (uu-oooh-u)," they sang together again.
After they repeated the chorus a few times, the guys went on to the next verse.
"Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please," Cham sang.
"I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees!" Lightning Lad added.
"Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again," Kell muttered
"Hit the town, fool around, let's go party!" Superman sang
"You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"!" Timber Wolf hummed.
"You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"!" Everyone sang again.
"I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world; Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere! Imagination, life is your creation," the chorus was sung many times until the ear-shattering music ceased.
"Finally! Thank –bleep-!" Greenie cried. "I thought I was going to lose my –bleep-!"
All of the unneeded censoring finally got to Greenie.
"I'll be right back! If you try escaping, a pack of hungry dogs will swallow you whole," she said cheerily before walking off.
--
"YOU! You son of a –bleep-!" Greenie picked up the overweight middle-aged man who lived with his mother from the ground so he saw eye-to-eye with her.
"I'm sorry!" he cried.
"Why the –bleep- have you been censoring me and my show!" she yelled furiously.
"I'm a fan! Really!" he pleaded. "Please don't burn me with your powers of greenliness!" he begged.
"IF YOU CENSOR ME ONE MORE FRICKIN' TIME I WILL RIP THE –bleep- AND –bleep- AND I'LL –bleep- YOU UNTIL YOU'VE TURNED PURPLE!!" Greenie yelled irritably. She dropped him unceremoniously on his butt and flew off.
"Did she not realize you censored her just now?" his co-worker pushed his glasses onto his nose.
"Guess not..." he muttered.
"So that's what a girl looks like?" another co-worker asked.
--
"Sorry about that folks," Greenie apologized. "But you won't have to worry about that annoying bleeping any longer."
"Can we get our old clothes back?" Kell asked raspy.
"What happened to you?" Greenie asked, taken aback.
"That's what you get when you sing with high-heels on," Kell answered.
Greenie nodded knowingly and snapped her fingers. Soon, all of the males were in their original clothes, excluding Cosmic Ape who was in a haute coat of purple fur for the whole episode, munching on banana.
"Is that all for today?" Triplicate Girl asked.
"Nope," Greenie answered. "Just one more. Sporkz dares Brainy to turn into a wolf slowly and painfully, and have the transformation complete in two episodes," Greenie explained.
"Isn't that more of a Timber Wolf thing?" Brainy asked.
"I would think that," Greenie rubbed her chin. "Eh," she shrugged as she snapped her fingers.
Brainy's eyes snapped shut as his arms stretched out in front of him. Slowly and painfully, his fingernails turned into claws. His hands turned into paws.
Fur covered his face as his ears grew larger. Soon, his ears and nose had changed into one of a wolf. His clothing started to tear as his muscles grew larger. Green skin was quickly replaced with brown fur.
"That's enough," Greenie stopped the transformation. "You can do the rest next eppie."
"Greenie, if you don't mind us saying this but-" Saturn Girl was interrupted by Lightning Lad.
"HOW SPROCKIN' LONG ARE YOU GONNA E KEEPING US IN THIS SPROCKIN' PLACE!?" he yelled.
"Who the frell are you? Scream Girl?" Greenie snickered at her own joke, but soon recovered herself.
"Please, we've done everything you've wanted us to," Triplicate Girl added.
"Look, I'm not letting you guys go. Ratings and reviews are going through the roof! No show on my network has been this popular," Greenie explained.
"Great! She has her own network now!" Phantom Girl said sarcastically.
"I've always had my own network!" Greenie exclaimed.
"Our apologies," Kell said acerbically.
"Do one thing for me and I'll think about letting you guys free," Greenie rubbed her chin.
"Get rid of Volcano Lad?" Shrinking Violet guessed.
"No, but that too," Greenie answered. "Saturn Girl, can you change your costume to green and white?"
"Uh…" she answered.
"Is that all?" Lightning Lad said exasperatedly.
"I guess," Saturn Girl said unsurely.
"Wonderful!" Greenie snapped her fingers and every trace of pink on Saturn Girl turned into a soft green. "Ah," she sighed happily.
"So, can we go?" Cham asked hopefully.
"No!" Greenie snorted.
"WHAT?" every legionnaire cried.
"I said that I would think about it and I did. My answer stays," Greenie scanned her nails. She looked at her watch. "Look at that! Sorry guys, today's episode is over. Catch ya'll next week!" Greenie waved to her fans.
--
So what do think? If there is anything that I need to improve or add, please let me know! Dares are very welcome! Thanks to everyone who left a dare! Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, so don't be afraid to leave one of those.
As always, thanks for reading!!