A/N

I know, I know. You can kill me. I was busy this week. I am sorry.

One reviewer asked me how old I am. I couldn't reply to him/her because he/she didn't have an account…I told you before…How can I answer your questions when I can't press that little button?

Anyway, to answer your question, I will be 15, in June 14. I don't know if my age offends someone. I hope it doesn't. I thought you knew how old I was because I was saying 'school' and stuff. Anyway…here is chapter 39 and I hope you like it.

Enjoy!

Chapter 39

Tell him

If you see him, you will be worse.

I knew that.

I would tell him that I was pregnant. Would he like it? If he didn't I would tell him to fuck off. I could raise a child on my own.

I wanted him so much to accept it.

I wanted him so much to love it.

To love me.

Oh, I love him.

…

"Come back soon, okay?" I said and wiped a tear.

"I will try honey," my man said as he hugged me.

"Is it necessary?" I asked, sniffing.

"What?"

"I don't want you to leave!" I begged him and hugged him tighter.

"Paris will miss me more," he said with a chuckle.

"What? Are you serious?" I asked him and pulled away to look at him.

"Yes. I am."

"How can you say that?" I asked a bit confused.

"You love him enough. I will be back before you miss me," Huh?

"Love who, my little man?"

"Edward. You love him enough. You have other things to think about honey," he said and put my hand on my stomach.

"H-how do you know?" How did he know I was pregnant? Alice told him?

"I may be old, but I am not stupid," he said smiling.

"I didn't say you were,"

"You have to tell him," he suggested.

"I know. However, I don't want to," I said and look at the floor.

"Why? He has the right to know,"

"I know but I am afraid," I saw him smile. "What are you smiling for?"

"You think he doesn't love you," he whispered. "Such a naïve girl," he murmured and caressed my cheek.

"He doesn't love me, grandpa,"

"Of course he does," he insisted.

"How do you know?"

"Only God knows everything but the thing I know is how to understand, love," he explained. "And what you have, παιδί μου, is love," he added with a smile.

I huffed. He didn't know. He couldn't know. He can't.

"I will come back in a few months honey. When the baby is about to come," he whispered and kissed my forehead.

"I love you," I said and hugged him tightly. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted him here with me. I couldn't do this alone.

"Κι εγώ σε αγαπάω, καρδούλα μου,"

I said my last goodbye and I watched him leave, as a tear ran down my cheek.

…

"How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?" I let my eyes wonder around as I sang. "Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb," I knew he wasn't here but I couldn't stop looking for him. "Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold," He didn't come to the club anymore. When I was singing, he wasn't there. "Until you find it there and lead it back home,"

Today was a gothic-rock night here in the club. All girls were dressed in black and red and believe me, we were hot. We were pretending to be gothic and emo girls but damn, people, especially men, liked us. Even me. I was wearing something with more… clothes. I was more covered than the other girls because I was singing and Tess said that I should look a little different.

When I finished the song I ran to the bathroom.

Yeah, I would throw up again.

I mean, seriously, is that even possible? If I throw up so many times, I have to eat more, right?

That means that I… will be fat!

I stood in front of the mirror and I saw tears running down my cheeks.

I will be fat and then they won't want me to sing here. They only wanted thin girls with a good body! And in a few months I will be so fat that I will be fired!

I started to cry hard and I put my hands on my face, in an attempt to wipe the tears.

"Bella, honey?" I turned around quickly and saw Tess, looking at me. "I heard you throw up," she stated. "Are you okay?" she asked and came closer to hug me.

"No, I am not okay," I answered, sobbing.

"Did you eat anything?" I didn't respond. I looked down at my belly. "Oh," How can everyone understand? Is it that obvious? Can't I hide it? Am I that fat?

"Does he know?"

"No," I said flatly.

"He should,"

"I know," I continued to cry in her arms until I was exhausted.

"You should rest," she said as we made our way towards the door. "Go home and come back tomorrow if you are better, okay sweetie?"

Indeed I was tired.

"Okay, Tess," I huffed and opened the door.

"You should tell Edward," Tess reminded me as we closed the bathroom door.

"Tell me what?"

A/N

You were complaining about Edward and asked where is he….So…here!

Hope you enjoyed it… I know it is short.

Review please!

Thanks for reading!

Love you!

Sofia

xxx