Chapter Three

On dappled clouds,

My heart does mar.

"Are we picking up Twinkle Toes, or is he too busy balancing the four nations," Toph pointed her cookie at Katara, who was currently painting patterns on Suki's skin.

She shrugged, "I don't know. We sent a hawk-messenger, but there hasn't been word from him yet. We're not staying here too long, so we may just have to go without him."

For an instant, the earth bender's face fell in disappointment, but just as quickly she shoved the cookie in her mouth and many more after that. So what if Aang couldn't come? She didn't care, in fact, it was probably better that he didn't come. They would get things done sooner without him.

Katara noticed Toph's sudden hunger for the cookies and smiled sympathetically, "I know, it's not the same without him."

"Course it's not the same without him, because it's an entirely different situation if he's not there. Duh, Katara," Toph rolled her eyes, licking crumbs off her fingers.

Suki was idly chewing on a cookie herself, holding out her left arm for Katara to paint on. It was a special kind of dye that when washed off, would stain the skin and leave the patterns still imprinted on, though it was not permanent. After a few weeks, it would fade.

"So how are things with you and Aang?" the earth girl asked, watching Katara bent over her work.

She visibly stiffened at the mention of their relationship and accidentally messed up the lines. Swearing, Katara reached for a rag and patted Suki's skin, murmuring apologies.

Suki waved her away, "It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Katara, your heart is beating so fast I think it'll explode, calm down," Toph raised a brow, sitting up a little from her armchair.

"What's wrong Katara?" Suki touched the girl's shoulder.

The water bender sighed, "Nothing is wrong. Nothing!" She looked at the other two girls who looked at each other, unconvinced, "I'm serious."

"Uh, human lie detector, remember?" Toph raised her hand.

Damn.

Finally giving in, Katara wrung the cloth in her hands, "We're fine…it's just that…lately he hasn't been talking to me. And I didn't even know that I was a suspect in the assassination until I got to the South Pole."

"That's some serious secrecy going on there Sugar Queen. You guys are having problems."

"No," Katara firmly said, shaking her head, "We're fine. All couples keep things from each other, right?" She looked pleadingly to Suki who avoided her eyes.

"I don't know, it seems like he should have told you about something like that," the Kyoshi girl fiddled with her red hair.

Toph, her expression blank, suddenly said, "Sparky's on his way here."

And as if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

The water bender looked at Toph, "You know, some people have to wait until the door is open to know who it is. Normal people."

She shrugged in response, "Hey, I don't begrudge you your talents. Come in Zuko!"

Zuko's head appeared at the door, "How did you…" he noticed Toph in the room, "Oh right." He sighed, running a hand through his hair and stepping inside, "Could I have some…" he gritted his teeth, "…aderrrghmm."

The three girls blinked and gave him weird looks.

"Come again?" Suki raised a brow.

"I was just wondering if I could have some ahhveerm," he coughed.

"Spit it out!" Toph demanded.

"Advice! I want ADVICE!"

His face turned red and he was resolutely staring at his feet.

"Ooooh," realization dawned on their faces.

Then an awkward silence fell in the room as Zuko fidgeted uncomfortably standing in front of them. Finally Katara said,

"Well, that was unexpected…What do you need advice about?"

The Fire Lord cringed, if his Uncle were here, it would not have come down to this. Iroh would have talked to Mai and easily convinced her to return to the Fire Nation. He was good with words like that. Zuko on the other hand was not so adept and noticed he often made the situation worse every time he spoke to Mai.

He was desperate.

"Just…I don't know what to say to Mai," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know why she suddenly is being so stubborn about this."

Katara tilted her head, "Well…what has she said so far?"

"She keeps going on about me leaving her behind all the time," he raised his hands in frustration, "But I'm not leaving her permanently! I'll be back!"

"Maybe she just feels resentful about you getting to have all the fun," Toph said simply, chomping on another cookie.

The water bender considered his words, "Maybe…but that might not be everything."

"What, tell me. Please," he begged.

"Well, she could just might be feeling insignificant in your life," the water girl continued, "And as Toph said, you have left her behind an awful lot for other things. You should try telling her how important she is to you."

He started to pace, "And how exactly do that? Just say it? I'm not good at that!"

Suki, in an irritated voice said to him, "You have to solve your own problems, Zuko. We can't do it for you."

Right, they were right. He of all people should have known.

After thanking them for their advice, he returned to his room and poured water in the wash basin. He looked at himself in the mirror, touching the scar that radiated over the left side of his face. Frowning, he felt the rough skin in comparison to the smooth paleness that surrounded it. How could anyone love this face? He was a monster. The things he had done to regain his honor, the deeds he had committed in his time wandering without Uncle. If Mai ever knew who he really was, had seen him pathetically chase the avatar and stoop so low for the love of his father, she would turn away from him in disgust. He felt anger flare in his stomach, why did he always need someone to guide him?

Why did he make so many mistakes?

"You called?" he heard Mai's monotone behind him. He noticed her in the mirror and turned around, undoing his hair tie and letting it fall around his face.

He indicated for her to sit down, "Mai, I have something to tell you."

The noblewoman raised a brow, but did not say anything.

"Mai…you're really…" he tried to search for the words, "Important…to me. I would never leave you—"

She cut him off, "Are you breaking up with me?"

Golden eyes widened, "What?! No! Why would you think that--," he stopped, breathing in and running a hand through his hair, "No. Will you please just listen to me?"

Her lips pursed in a thin line and there were no more words from her.

"I just wanted to say, that I really care about you. I love you. If you feel like your not important in my life, you're wrong, and you don't have to come with us to prove anything."

Mai's eyes narrowed dangerously, a sneer running on her face, "Oh? I'm important in your life? Well you have a funny way of showing it Fire Lord!"

"What do you mean?" he was incredulous, how had he ever shown her that she was otherwise?

"Not only do you run around with the avatar's little groupies," she stood up, hissing, "Always doing whatever they tell you to, you never listen to a word I say! If I told you to come with me to some Agni forsaken place, you would tell me that you were too busy! I'm nothing to you! You're just keeping me around until the council finds you some bimbo to marry as Fire Lady!"

"Excuse me?" he exploded, "For one thing, this a political matter that could threaten the peace we all killed ourselves for. And another, what makes you say that I'm just toying with you?! Mai, you make no sense!"

Glaring at him she shouted right back, "Oh yea? Well I know that the council is pushing you to marry, and you're just putting it off! Guess what Zuko! I'm right here, and you've never shown any interest in marrying me! Now how do you think that makes me feel? You always just push me into the background and put everyone before me!"

"I didn't know that you wanted to get married! I put it off because I thought you weren't ready!" Zuko groaned, a headache starting to form around his temples.

"Don't give me that," she ground her teeth, "The way you treat me, it's so obvious that you're waiting to dump me."

"Then let's get married," he snapped, "You can be the bleeding Fire Lady if you want!"

She stopped, her face going red. In a deadly quiet voice she asked, "Was that a proposal?"

"Yes! Whatever you want Mai, I don't care!" and with that he stormed from the room, leaving her still seething and staring at the spot that he was standing in.

As Zuko stampeded down the hallway, his mind was racing. Was he an idiot?! That was no way to propose! Why did he always make things so much worse?! He took a left at the corner, not really knowing where he was going, just wanting to get as far as possible from Mai. Getting lost forever in the Earth Kingdom palace sounded pretty good about now.

Following wherever his feet would take him, he raced blindly from the girl he loved. Shocked faces followed him, but he ignored them and continued on. He finally stopped, when he realized he was outside. In confusion, he looked around him and realized that it was an inner sanctuary, a garden growing within the palace walls.

He felt like burning it down to the ground. The plants mocked him in their peaceful existence. Kicking a tree, he glared into the pond of koi fish in the middle of the garden. He slumped against the tree he had just kicked and cradled his head with his arms. This place reminded him of his mother too much. There was a sleepy mumble next to him, making him aware of a girl slumbering under the tree like a forest nymph.

Recognizing her as Katara, he stood up to go when he heard behind him, "Zuko? What are you doing here?"

He sighed, "I should I ask you the same. It's dangerous to fall asleep just anywhere you know."

She grinned sheepishly, tugging on her hair which stuck up to the one side that she had slept on, "I know…it's just that this place was so…calming. I got lost in the palace looking for Toph and ended up here."

He nodded, "I guess…I got lost too."

Walking over the pond, she watched the koi swim leisurely, their colors glinting in the sun. Looking over at him she said, "Doesn't this remind you of the Northern Oasis?"

Stiffening, he agreed, this place did have a familiar feel to it. Why she brought up the Northern Oasis, he did not know, it was only a place of bad memories for him.

Her blue eyes looked out into the garden, turned away from him, "I hated you then, more than anyone I've hated in my life."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. It was good for me. It gave me the strength to fight you for Aang," a gentle breeze fluttered her hair, bringing the scent of panda lilies to him.

He shook his head, "I know I made mistakes. I keep trying to make up for them, but it never feels like it's enough."

"Zuko, we have already forgiven you," she was surprised, "You don't have to do anything else."

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, "I don't think I've forgiven myself."

Her smile was gentle, it warmed him to see it, "It takes time. How did it go with Mai? Is she coming with us tomorrow?"

At the mention of Mai, his brows knitted themselves together, "No…" he lingered off, "I asked her to marry me."

"Is that how you got her to return?" Katara's laughter like soft waves, "That was pretty extreme of you."

Rubbing his face he replied, "I didn't mean to…it's just, she kept going on about how I was toying with her and it just…came out!"

She snorted, and then changing the subject, "Hey do you know how to get out of here?"

He looked around, shrugging, "No idea."

"Oh," she chewed on her lower lip, "Okay, let's just try walking around then. I'm sure we'll come out of it okay."

She sounded so sure that they would find their way again, Zuko almost had to believe her.

Author's note: So someone asked if I was getting rid of Suki…I'm not. Sorry. There's a little moment of Zutara for you. It's going to be gradual, also sorry about that. I wish they would throw off their clothes off and go at it too, but it just doesn't work like that. Lol.

Zuko: I'm not the monster here, you are. Playing with people's lives like that.

Me: Shut up! You're not real!