"Well go on, this is the only way through." He can't be serious. I continue to uneasily stare at the entrance to the so called Mystery Dungeon without moving a muscle. Who knows what could happen if I were to make contact with the mass of displaced space directly in front of me? A furred hand grasps my shoulder and my eyes drift towards the Pokémon. What was his name again? Book? Bone? Boom? "Look, if it makes you feel any better I'll hold your hand as we go in." Now I remember, it's Boon. My patience is reaching its threshold so I shrug off the hand and take a deep breath. Well, here I go. If this is the only way to progress then I might as well deal with it. With eyes clenched tight I take my steps into my first (and hopefully last) Mystery Dungeon. The effects of entry are nauseating and I try my hardest to not upchuck my last meal. What was my last meal anyways? My memory is so fuzzy I can't recall, but I believe it was a bag of trail mix. At least the M&Ms would make the vile bright and colorful.
When I open my eyes the sights and sounds of the jungle surround me. There seems to be no sign of the entrance I just went through, it is as if I have been in this jungle for quite some time already. Unfortunately, Boon is still close by my side.
"Welcome to the Mystery Dungeon!" He sarcastically announces. "I bet you want to know what these are don't you?" I nod. "Too bad! I don't know either!" What the fuck… "But what I do know is that you gotta look for stairs! Big stone stairs that look really out of place!" Stairs. Got it. Find the stairs and forget I ever came in here. That shouldn't be too hard, right? "And watch out for the Pokémon along the way. I find the best mindset to be that if someone didn't enter with you, they want you dead." Want me dead. Like I haven't heard that one before… "One more thing! These places change layouts every time someone enters, so the path's never the same. We have about fifteen seconds to enter a dungeon after someone else if we want to go through the same setup they do." Mystery Dungeons change layouts too? What kind of places are these things?
After taking another heavy breath we are mobilizing throughout the dungeon. Nothing attacks but there are way too many cliffs directing us into crevices and tunnels to be normal. Thankfully the entire time we are walking Boon doesn't utter a peep. The tunnel we navigate opens up into a fairly large clearing littered with logs, stumps, giant rocks, and pockets of water in the ground. There are three more openings into crevices surrounding us. I eye them and let out an exasperated breath. My Pikachu tag-along decides it would be a good time to speak up.
"So what type of food do you like, Browley?" I cast an incredulous glance in his direction. What does that have to do with anything? Boon tilts his head in confusion, "What? I'm just trying to make small-talk. This is boring! Usually we'd already be attacked by like, twenty Pokémon by now." And that's a good thing? "So yeah, I like to eat meat. Many Pikachu are all like, 'Ew, how can you live with yourself eating fellow Pokémon? Interesting tidbit actually- the Jichi Islands is one of the only places that doesn't make eating meat illegal!" Thank God for that, I like my steak cooked medium rare. "Yep, I already filled out the paperwork, so my body is up for grabs when I die!" Boon laughs at his own words. "Pfft, like that'll happen anytime soon. So what about you? You like meat?"
Pushing aside the detail of filling out paperwork to have someone's corpse eaten, I give a confirming nod and he returns it with one of his own. "Well that's good to hear. I figured you would, your line looks like the type to eat meat. You guys like to have that blood dribble down your chin, am I right?" The more time I spend with Boon the less comfortable I feel. I would prefer it if he went back to being quiet. When I make the move to speak, once again I cannot form the words I wish to say. This time Boon doesn't comment though, so I bite my tongue and press on through the crevice at our 12'. We spend more time quietly making our way along the tight corridor of rock and find yet another clearing. This one contains a set of stone stairs in the far corner. The stairs don't actually lead anywhere, they just stop after the fourth step. Were these what Boon was talking about? I turn towards him and he nods at my silent inquiry. When I ascend the stairway the same queasy feeling returns to me and I am forced to shut my eyes again as my surroundings change into a blur of colors. My eyes pop back open only to find more jungle and no stairway. Boon points at me and transitions into even more laughter. I swear, that laughing is getting really old, really quickly.
"Great! Now you get to do it again! And then again! And then again!" Is he kidding me? I have to walk around in the jungle looking for a stairway again? I massage my temples with my new hands- why did this have to be so complicated? We press on once again and make our way through the never ending corridors.
It isn't long before trouble sets in on us. There are three green worms with yellow pigments surrounding the two of us in one of the clearings. The worms have a pink antenna on their heads and Boon refers to them as Caterpie. His warning comes to the front of my mind upon seeing the creatures-everything wants to kill us.
"Watch and learn, noob." Boon says as his cheeks light up with electricity. He raises an arm and volts of electric stings dance across his fur into his open palm before launching themselves at one of the Caterpie. The poor thing is hit with the blast but appears to be able to handle another few bolts like that. Its brethren descend upon us and I use my new knowledge of the PEN15 to scrape my claws against the shocked target. Boon finishes the very same Caterpie off with another jolt of lightning, and then the freaking thing vanishes! I gape at what I see, the worm just plain fades away as it squeaks a painful cry upon its second shock. My surprise is cut off when the other two Caterpie close in. One lifts its head and shoots me with a string of silk, which sticks to my legs and the grassy flooring. The other curls up and rolls straight into Boon. A swift kick from the Pikachu and it cries out as well, leaving only a quick follow-up zap until one worm remains. When I attempt to walk towards the last Caterpie my legs become stuck to the silk still glued tightly to the grass. A quick tug and they are mobile once more, but upon impact with the ground the foot sticks once again. My feet drag along and completely close the distance between the Caterpie and I, albeit much slower than I would prefer. Two scratches from my claws later and the room is cleared of enemy Pokémon.
Boon fist pumps with a cheer and twists his head towards me. "Hey, don't worry about that silk. It'll go away with a couple of steps." His head tilts as I wordlessly gesture with an arm towards the spots the Caterpies once stood. "Um… what? I already told you, those were Caterpies." No, that's not what I mean. I try to ask about the disappearing but only manage to stutter unintelligible noises. My issue with talking is quickly becoming an issue, there are just so many strange things to question and I can't even speak! "Uh, do you want to know about the Caterpies bodies going away?" I mean to say yes, but only air escapes my lips leaving me mouthing my answer. "Well, I don't know the answer to that. It's just something that happens in Mystery Dungeons." Great, that explains a whole lot to me. I guess a wizard did it?
We continue to trek though the dungeon and encounter increasing resistance. With each Pokémon we manage to take down our performance increases. After about the third stairway we are taking on groups of five and only being hit by one of the Pokémon. However, after the fifth stairway the enemies change. They grow larger, some are different completely. They are large, purple butterfly-like monsters with a nasty move that makes our bodies temporarily go limp. Try as I might, but I can't even fire off a growl attack; the move must have shut off my internal power supply. Boon recovers sooner than I and makes up for my incapacitation by frying the moth with well-placed shocks to the cranium. I nod my thanks and we press onward to the staircase. Our feet thunder up the steps and after the warped travel we finally exit the forest. A glance behind me confirms this as I see the same strange distortion effect the entrance to the dungeon held.
Boon gives a firm pat to my back and smiles. "That's a Mystery Dungeon! I bet you're glad to be back in the normal world again, aren't you?" Normal is hardly the word I'd use to describe it but I really am happy to be out of that chain of hallways. "Browley? There's something I forgot to mention." My attention focuses on Boon and I wave my hand for him to continue. "The PEN15 only has a limited amount of energy. I actually used up all my thundershocks back there." The PEN15-er, the amber is limited? That's news to me. "Different moves take up different amounts of energy, we call it PP. That's the letter 'P' twice, by the way." Cue more giggles from the rodent. "When a move's PP runs out, it can't be restored by anything except a thing called Max Elixir. But those cost money. Dungeons seem to be restoring it too nowadays, but that's only when exiting it or reaching certain spots. I can't really tell you where those spots are, you just gotta be lucky." His knowledge appears to rapidly alternate between useful and useless. "And look ahead! That's it!"
Following his outstretched hand presents the view of a walled in town just down the hill. Buildings appear to be nothing more than shacks thrown together with hay and wood, but they seem sturdy enough to live in. A low rumbling in the distance draws my attention to the now overcast skies, it's going to rain soon. All the more reason to get to town, I guess. Boon vocally ponders something, and I wait for him to tell me what he's thinking about.
"Hmm, I wonder if Charmanders really do die if the flame on their tails go out." What!? I grasp my tail tightly and shield it from the sky with my back. "I actually heard it both ways, but never met a Charmander so I could find out. You better run, boy!" I can't tell if he is teasing me or being serious, but I sprint towards town as quickly as I can. I don't want to find out the answer to the question, I just barely got here. "Hey! Wait up!" Boon shouts after me as he bounds down the hill. Something wet hits my shoulder causing my grip to tighten on the new appendage. The thunder roars louder and the rain is picking up when we reach the gate to the town. Unlike the wooden walls, this gate is made of some kind of metal, but who cares about that? I could probably die just by getting wet! Furiously I pound on the gate to announce my presence. Boon catches up to me huffing and puffing and the metal sheet rises for entry. The moment enough space is available I crawl through the opening into a roofed lobby area. A gruff voice calls out and I notice it belongs to a Pokémon resembling a meercat. Its brown fur has yellow stripes which resemble a safety vest and its red eyes have a similar stripe of yellow coloration as well.
"Calm down lil' fella! You're safe now, da rain's not gon' getcha!" It offers a furry hand to me and pulls me up. "You did hap' seez a Peek-choo out dere' dichya?" Before I can make sense of what the guard just said Boon pokes his head out from under the gate and into the lobby.
"Here I am! Thanks, Watchog!"
"I seez ya gotz a new friend, Boon."
"Yep! His name's Browley! He don't talk much though." Gee, thanks for letting the guard know that. Speaking of the guard, Watchog is back to babbling some strange noises to me which vaguely sound like words when listening closely.
"Well shootz, you can talks and nots talks all you won 'round here! Dis here be Timburr Town, Browley! Pleased ta make yours 'quaintance!"