Fucking fuck! I'm dead, I'm so dead! This fucking thing is going to splatter me all over the wall! Out of freaking nowhere the ground underneath the track collapses, sending the mine cart tumbling harmlessly away from me into a newly formed chasm below. Oh my God, did that really just happen? I release the air I've been holding in relief, simply staring at the incredible stroke of luck that saved my life. I thought for sure I was going to die here; there was simply no chance I could have gotten out of the way in time. The hole releases some light from below, although it doesn't make a huge difference. I used to not be able to see more than a foot without the matches, now the range has been extended by about another two feet. I hear a voice echoing from below, bouncing off the rocks walls all the way up to my location.
"Alright you maggots, who set the charge? You fucking idiots blew up one of the tracks!" Someone yells from the opening. I fumble with the ropes still binding me; why I never taught myself how to untie myself I will never be able to figure out. I learned how to find north without a compass—How could I not know how to get out of a simple knot!? "Someone survey the damage! You scrubs better hope I don't have to deduct much of your salaries to pay for this!" I'm finding it difficult to give any sympathy for this guy. Maybe it's because the mistake kept me alive. Out of the corner of my eye I see a pebble dancing along the ground. As the ground rumbles, multiple rocks of varying sizes do the same; streams of loose dirt fall from cracks in the ceiling. Panicking now, I desperately pull on the ropes around my wrists hoping to get loose before the cave collapses. My heart leaps into my chest as brown stubs rapidly burst from the cave floor without pattern around the remnants of the mining track. The brown things are alive, sporting pink balls for noses and beady eyes, although I cannot find any sort of mouth. Some of the creatures are grouped into clusters of three while others remain without company. Their arrival ends the apparent cave-in, although being beaten to death by a horde of Pokémon does not sound appealing either. One of the loner stubs notices me still tied up studying them.
"Wow! Are you okay, Charmander?" It asks loudly enough for everyone to hear. Oh good, they aren't hostile. The bossy voice from below shouts once more.
"Are you fucking kidding me!? Another one!?" It sounds closer than before, which I find rather concerning. The sound of metal colliding with rock resonates throughout the cave, quickly repeating each half a second. A Pokémon climbs up from the hole its workers blew up—it is an extremely desaturated shade of brown, bordering on gray almost. Three red marks resembling claw wounds run diagonally across its chest; it has two short arms ending in massive steel blades, curved on the insides like a shovel. Additional blades are connected to those already on its arms (which must be heavy) and over its white head lies yet another shovel with blades sticking out—because two main blades wasn't enough; he needed a third as a baseball cap. The Pokémon's eyes were hardened, stuck in an irritated glare as he rose from the pit. "Is this one in better shape than the last?"
"Yes sir!" Answered a trio of brown stubby things. "Only some ropes and bruises, nothing major!"
"Ropes?" The leader of the bunch repeated, looking at me for the first time. I pull on my bindings as confirmation. He leans in towards my face, positioning his blade between my eyes. "Who are you, Charmander?" Who am I? Who are you? I'm in no position to argue with the Pokémon however. Even though he is roughly the same height as me, combining those blades and my being tied up do not leave me ahead.
"Excadrill, sir!" Another group of stubs is by the satchel Wartortle left behind. Is that a problem with him? This is twice now he has left one of those things. "There is an Exploration Team badge in this bag! He's an Explorer!" No. No. No no no no no. That would be wrong, you turd things. I shake my head trying to tell them that's not mine, but all that I manage to say is:
"T-t-th-t-t-tht-ths n-ot m-m-m-mine." Excadrill presses the tip of his blade against my forehead, smiling with evil intent.
"You must be one of their pity cases. Autism must suck, doesn't it little lizard?" Oh fuck you. "What's the matter?" He asks sliding one of his bladed arms bit by bit into my mouth. Now I'm starting to see the use of blades on top of blades. "Cat got your tongue?" I… don't think the pun he was going for works here.
"I'm n-nn-n-nt-nn." Talking with a blade in my mouth and a stutter is really damn hard! "Nnn-n-n Ex-pl-plur-plrrroo." Close enough. Excadrill pulls his arm out of my mouth, frowning in disgust at the spit now stuck to it.
"Fuck, that wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was." He mumbles. "Alright then Charmander, if you aren't an Explorer, what's with the badge?" Shit. More questions? Where's Boon when I need him? …Did I really just think that?
"N-nn-nn-n-"
"Alright stop. I get it—not yours. I believe you. Don't hurt yourself." Thank you! Excadrill uses his blades to cut through my ropes and extends an arm to me. "Need help getting up?" Not from you. I push myself off my ass, rubbing away the dirt clinging to me. "Do you have a name?" I don't even get to open my mouth before he cuts in. "On second thought, save it. I'll call you Charmander. My daughter is going to take you back to the hub." He turns away from me and looks at all of the other Pokémon. "And as for you boys, GET BACK TO WORK!" The boss begins to climb back down the hole, but halfway though he halts his decent. "Come on Charmander! Hop on!" Is he serious? I peer over the hole and gauge the distance. If I jump down I would likely break my legs, but if I land on Excadrill then I could avoid that. I don't feel comfortable with the blades poking from his head though. He sighs and holds out an arm with the curve facing up. "Land in here, you big baby." I swear I'm going to fucking kill this guy when I get the chance. I sit on the hole's edge and slide off. I fall into Excadrill's shovel as ordered; my stomach doing loops as my weight almost causes him to drop me. "Off you go." He yanks his arm away causing me to fall the remaining distance to a lower tunnel. I'm greeted by the smiling face of a Pokémon remarkably similar to the boss. It has a long white snout with a pink nose and its body is the same shade of gray-brown as Excadrill. It also has shoveled claws at the ends of its arms, yet they are missing the additional blades growing on top. The Pokémon also doesn't have a third blade jutting out of its head either, and the markings on it are blue rather than red. I assume this to be his daughter?
"Thanks dad!" She calls to her father. Yep, she is. "You must be Charmander; my name is Drilbur. Follow me, the Hub's this way!" She turns 180 degrees and walks down the tunnel of rock. Lord, I thought I had enough tunnels to deal with in Mystery Dungeons. "My dad is a real piece of work isn't he?" She asks trying to start up a conversation. "Sorry if he scared you. He's been worked up ever since our generators went kaput. These tunnels aren't supposed to be this dark." Drilbur points to the low ceiling, gesturing to dark glass balls running the entire path. Three thin rods of metal connect each orb, creating a sort of continuous circuit above our heads. "Do you see those Luminous Orbs along the roof? They are supposed to light this place up like it's in the sun, but we already used the power in them and our generators used up all the electricity too." Well that sucks. That's why backup power supplies exist, you dumb shits.
As we continue to make our way through, I can't help but be reminded of the diamond mines back in Africa. I avoided them for most of the time I was stranded, too afraid to fight in dark tunnels filled with crappy construction ready to fall apart on top of me. In order to leave Africa, I needed a plane ride out. The problem was planes are expensive, the pilots wanted to be paid out the ass in blood diamonds. Actually, everyone wanted to be paid in diamonds. Yes, the country had regular paper money, but for one reason or another it was considered useless. I remember stumbling upon an outpost where people were using money as firewood. So in order to afford weapons, ammo, and a plane ticket back home, I started working for both the N.R.G. and D.E.R. It wasn't my idea–Darrell suggested it. He said something along the lines of "Two armies, two paychecks." Of course I was hesitant at first—I didn't want to put myself in more situations where I would be shot at, and working for two groups who hate each other would mean immediate execution if I was found out. But over time I got used to the idea, simply taking a job from whoever was hiring. It is rather ironic how when I first involved myself in the African conflict I had to beg for a job. Eventually it was them who were begging me for assistance. Funny how life works when you kill people. At some point in time I decided I wasn't getting diamonds quickly enough. I would find myself needing new weapons and supplies, being forced to spend the majority of what I earned. At that rate I would never have the diamonds to leave. So I went to the heart of the operation.
I bring my rangefinder to my eye, peering through the lens letting it magnify my view of the mine's entrance. It is built into a rocky cliff, the manmade hole clearly visible from a mile away. I cannot see much of the interior from my position in the hills, but I'm not too concerned. There are thin sheets of metal hanging on wooden beams, creating spots of shade where a couple of men sit in plastic lawn chairs drinking from water bottles. These suckers are sitting ducks. I put away my rangefinder and switch to the scope on my M1903 Springfield, lining up the sights after considering drop and the wind. My trigger finger is itchy, so I remedy it. The first of five men drops dead, startling his buddies into leaping from their chairs and grabbing their weapons. I chuckle as they run like bugs, screaming in terror.
"Shit! What's happening!?" One yells.
"Are we under attack?" Shouts another. Yes you are! He is the next one to drop.
"Fuck! Where is he?" Comes from a third, who is wildly firing his gun in random directions. One bullet is all it takes for him to fall. I swiftly pick off the last two and reload. I do not wish to waste any time, so I double-time it to the mine, careful to keep my AKS74u ready to fire. Up close I am able to study my shots, noting where I hit each person. I got one in the head, one just below the neck, and the rest are either in the chest or below. I'm about to enter a mine, so a sniper rifle is probably not going to be the best thing to use. One of the dead men carries an Ithaca 37 shotgun. It has a chestnut wooden grip and pump. On his forearm is a tattoo of a five pointed star facing down—the symbol of N.R.G. I swap out my Springfield for his shotgun and step into the mine's entrance, letting my eyes adjust to the change in light. There are scaffoldings fucking everywhere, poorly held up by rusty poles. To my dismay not much cover is around, mostly concealment. The only things capable of stopping bullets are the rocks and maybe some barrel stacks. Just about everything else I could technically hide behind but would not be offered much protection. A voice from a scaffolding above draws my attention, an NRG soldier is up there alerting people of my presence.
"There he is!" He yells. Another voice calls out that he sees me before I can silence either of them. I dart to my left behind a rock pile, spraying from my AKS74u at the scaffolding above. Red mist spreading from its edges coupled with a pained wail and a thud makes me relatively certain I killed one of the men. Gunfire rings out from a connecting tunnel and the earth I hide behind visibly chips away, turning chunks of rock into a powdery smoke. I blind fire controlled bursts in an attempt to provide myself cover fire. His gun stops shooting but I have no reason to believe I hit him. I pull open the flap to my leftmost pouch on my armored vest, yanking out a M67 grenade. Firmly I grasp it in my right hand, using my left to remove the safety clip. I hold down the lever and pull out the pin, frowning as gunfire rings overhead once more. "He's behind the rocks! Move! Over there! Over there!" The guy still shooting at me yells at someone. Shit, he's got backup already. I lob the grenade towards the voice, hoping the fuse is not long enough for him to throw it back.
"Fuck! Grenade!"
BOOM
The gunfire stops, but when I peek over the rocks I keep my gun raised as a precaution. Three men lay dead and the walls where the grenade went off look about ready to give in. Well, I'm not going in that direction. There is another tunnel to my left held up by a skeleton of wood; lanterns casting a yellow glow line the walls. I step from my cover and creep down the tunnel, switching to my new shotgun along the way. The tunnel forks into two paths, so I press my back against the side and slide to the opening to view one branch without exposing myself to another. The left path twists into another turn and the right path opens into a large mining chamber. Many scaffoldings line the walls, although few diamonds remain to be dug. There are no workers to be seen—perhaps the guards already took them to another part of the mine. I don't feel comfortable walking into the chamber as it just reeks with ambush, so I take the left path. Around the corner is yet another chamber, this one slightly smaller but otherwise identical. On the far end I spot a couple of guards hiding behind sheets of wood.
"Come on asshole," One says more to himself than me. "Where are you? Where the fuck are you?"
I sigh; I got my shotgun out for nothing. A few bursts from my AKS kills both of them, but sends the rest of the room into high-alert.
"Shit! Who's attacking!?"
"Don't know!" There are a couple of barrels along the right wall underneath a stalactite. There might be someone over there so I shoot in that direction to check. Even if I'm wrong I might suppress someone. Surprisingly someone from the opposite end of the room runs out of their hiding spot, I assume to get into a position where he can shoot me. I shoot him until my gun runs dry and I have to reload.
"You think you can get off that easy?" Holy shit, this one is mumbling and I can hear him. That is way too close for comfort. "You ain't seen nothing…" I drop my AKS and pull out the M1911—can't fucking believe I called this a Colt.45—focusing my hearing on the ramblings of a soon to be dead man. I cannot quite pick out what he says next, but it is coming from my right. I don't know for sure but I think he's around the corner trying to coax me into poking my head into his view to look for him. The man finally speaks clearly enough for me to hear the rest of his taunting. "-cause I'm your nightmare! Yeah yeah yeah, I'm your worst fucking nightmare. Just try me. Come on come on! I know you're there! I can see you asshole! I can see you! I can-" Enough of this shit. I switch my pistol to my left hand, press my stomach to the wall, and without exposing anything but my hand fire three shots around the corner. It shuts him up for good.
"Well you're rude." Drilbur declares. I shake away my memories and return to the present. "I've been talking to you this whole time and you weren't listening!" Yeah that's nice. "When did you stop paying attention?" She huffs at my silence. "I can see why dad didn't roll out the welcome mat. So as I was saying, many of these tunnels are for maintenance, but some are for tracks—although we try to keep them in the open for easy repairs." I don't care. "One of these days this place is going to make trade so much easier! With our mine carts, caravans can carry so much more! Just imagine goods being delivered by cart, air, and warp all at once! These tunnels will really bring these islands closer together!" Drilbur stops walking and throws an arm in front of me. "Hold up, who are they?" She asks pointing at a trio of Pokémon up ahead. They wear pink scarves and the largest of them carries a satchel like the one Wartortle had. Fuck, I wish I still had my guidebook for these things. There is a brown duck-looking thing with big-ass eyebrows; in one of its wings is a green and white leek. By now, I have learned to stop questioning things like how wing feathers can hold anything, much less keep a grip on an organic rod. The Pokémon is circled by two balls of fuzz with black batwings and pig snouts with a heart for nostrils. "One Farfetch'd and two Woobat." Drilbur analyses.
Farfetch'd waves its leek in small circles above its head, calling for its allies to gather around. "Explorers, if that Phanpy is correct, then those outlaws should be in these tunnels." He announces. "Remember: we are after a Charmander and a Pikachu. Don't attack anyone else unless they are helping those two—we want to avoid further raising tensions with the locals."
"Aren't the criminals locals? And what about Wartortle?" A Woobat pipes up.
"Wartortle is a rouge who may have found a stash of Pure Seeds—let a higher ranking team pursue him. And yes, the outlaws belong to Jichi. Intel suggests they aren't important enough for the government to care if we arrest them, however." The Woobat which had not yet spoken takes the moment to do so.
"Why are you telling us this now and not before we left camp?" It questions. Farfetch'd responds by slamming his leek into it.
"I did!" He squawks. "You imbeciles were talking about a 'magical sound box'!" That's not what I think it is, is it? Drilbur taps me on the shoulder.
"Did those Explorers say they were looking for a Charmander? That wouldn't happen to be you would it?" She asks. Unfortunately due to the acoustics of the tunnel, her voice echoes within the Exploration Team's earshot. Farfetch'd leaps a foot into the air, flapping a single wing and pointing its leek at me with the other.
"That's one of them! Get him!" He orders. The two Woobat line up next to each other and flap their wings in a swift motion. Their flight appendages glow in the darkness and visible wind flies at me. The force of manipulated air curiously does not pick up any dirt from the floor nor walls—it's definitely a Move.
"GUST!" Drilbur shouts pushing me out of the attack's direction. "Darn it! Get out of our mine!" Farfetch'd puffs out his chest and strikes it with his leek.
"This doesn't concern you, savage! Crawl back in your hole and let the heroes do their job!" For not wanting to raise tensions this birdbrain does a very poor job at it. "Woobat, use Round!" The two balls of fuzz emit an ear-shattering screech from their mouths, both releasing red rings which grow in size as they approach.
"Charmander! Dodge those now!" Drilbur yells over the noise. She dodges to the right while I dodge to the left. After leaping out of danger, she waves to me with one of her shovels. "Cover me!" I perform Growl on both Woobat and follow up with my flaming attack. Drilbur charges the bats and leaps straight at them with outstretched shovels. To my astonishment her two claws split into six, glowing brightly as she slams a Woobat to the ground and digs into it. Blood squirts every which way while Farfetch'd and the other Woobat stare in horror. They aren't the only ones horrified—Drilbur is as well. "What's happening!? Why are you bleeding!? WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING!?" I blast more fire at the distracted Woobat watching it light up like a match. It is actually funny seeing a flying fireball with wings screaming in pain as it face-plants the ground. Two down, one to go.
"What… what did you do?" The last Explorer whispers. Drilbur finally stops pulverizing her Woobat, yet does not make a move to pull her ass off the body—what is left of it anyways. She is a statue stained in blood resting on her prey. Farfetch'd switches into rage, charging at her screaming with his leek shining white. He swings it upon her so quickly it appears he carries more than one weapon. Drilbur cries out in pain yet does not retaliate. The Explorer's weapon leaves bloody gashes everywhere it lands; if this keeps up Drilbur is going to be dead in seconds. Dammit! She's still supposed to take me to the Hub! I intervene with multiple Scratches and a final fire Move, creating roasted duck of the team leader. Then I steal his satchel. Drilbur is sprawled across the ground at this point, so I offer a hand and pull her up.
"Fury Swipes and Ember are not supposed to do that." She mutters. I try to give her a moment to compose herself but it does not go well. "Stay… away from me." She spits pointing one of her six claws at my chest. Six claws… man I still cannot believe she has freaking six of them. I thought they were two! Drilbur then shoves her claws into the ground and in a deft movement tunnels underneath and seals the entry hole. Well shit… there goes my new guide. It couldn't have been in a worse place either. I'm in the middle of a four-way intersection with no idea which path to take. Just when I think I'm completely fucked someone calls from a tunnel opposite to the one Drilbur and I came from.
"Hey, you there!" Wait a second… I know that voice. A Pikachu with a bandaged head emerges from the shadows carrying an Explorer Satchel around its waist. "Hi, I'm looking for a friend who-…Browley?" Boon asks. "Wow! I was just looking for you!" I smile and wave to him as I study the satchel Farfetch'd dropped; it looks identical Boon's. My guide from Timburr Town notices the corpses scattered across the area. "Shit, are they down here too?" Strange, I expected him to nag me about killing more of them. Boon's long ears sink to the back of his head and he scratches one of his red cheeks. "Um… can I ask a really weird and gross question?" I curiously nod. "I'm betting Wartortle tried to kill you too. He hung me by a rope from a high mine track. Guess he didn't know about my parkour; it was really easy to get out of that. Anyways, that's not what I'm wanting to ask. Did he try to… uh… chop off your… you know?" He twiddles his thumbs. Hesitantly I nod my head, to which Boon breathes a sigh of disbelief. "That guy wasn't insane the last two times we fought him. What happened?" Well apparently I triggered something nasty when I killed Mareep, but I don't know exactly what. Boon places his paws on his hips and stares at the remains of the Explorers. "This sucks. We're in some tunnel network, you can barely see a meter in front of you, and Exploration Teams are down here!" 'Sucks' doesn't even begin to cover the situation we are in.
The Pikachu adjusts the strap on his satchel. "Well at least we still have our bag. Don't know why he didn't take it. We have the warp seeds and everything! All twenty!" Great, that will save us a lot of time. But we are still short a few aren't we? "We just need five more to go. I even got us a spot to spend the night!" Awesome! "Sandslash! Come on out! This is my friend!" A section of wall suddenly bursts open startling my muscle memory into reaching for the M1911 I no longer have. Out from the new hole crawls a yellow Pokémon with a rough hide split into tiled segments. It has big blue eyes, a cream underbelly, and triangular ears atop its head. "This is Sandslash." Boon introduces.
"Sandshrew." The Pokémon corrects. "You must be Browley, yes?" Nod. "Your friend came from the Hub. He has a bad head wound. It was difficult to fix. Not enough light. You have fire on your tail. You create light. But maybe not enough. Your flame is small. We need bigger." You need to lengthen your sentences. They are getting annoying. I do not like to be annoyed. "Boon. Browley. I will take you to your quarters. I hope you remember our deal." What deal? What did Boon agree to?
We walk down the corridor Boon came from, and in no time are in what I assume to be a quite spacious chamber. Light is extremely limited still, so I cannot get a good view of my surroundings. From what I can tell though the Hub is essentially an underground mining town. There are shacks organized into rows and columns, although these are rectangular unlike Timburr's square and round huts. The wood here also appears to be of lesser quality, possibly because this area is not meant for Pokémon to actually live in. It is a temporary area for Pokémon to work in and return to their homes outside once the day ends. However, I can already see some Pokémon asleep inside and outside of buildings—perhaps they are living here during construction to save travel time.
"Hub looks better with light." Sandshrew assures. It is when we ascend a staircase to a whole second level of shacks perched on scaffoldings and cliffs that I realize how big the Hub actually is. Railed tracks run this way and that, going in and out of passages dug into the walls. Pokémon looking like crosses between clowns and construction workers load heavy materials into mine carts and push them along the tracks while smaller gray Pokémon with visible veins carry the wood for the tracks where they are incomplete. With shadows obscuring much of the cave I can only see a small portion of this place at a time, so I can only imagine how busy things look in complete lighting.
Boon whistles in awe. "Wow. You guys sure don't slack around."
"No. We don't. We work hard every day." Sandshrew replies.
"Holy crap, are those Timburr you have laying down the tracks? Browley! See those Pokémon with the wood?" Yeah, I believe I saw them prior to you asking me. "Those are what Timburr Town is named after! And the bigger ones with afros are Gurdurr, and the ones with the tumors are Conkeldurr! In fact…" Boon searches through his satchel and tosses me the Pokédex. "Here ya go! I know how much you like that book." I'll read through their articles when we get where we need to be.
"You two are from Timburr Town?" Sandshrew asks.
"Yep!" Boon beams. "Well, I am. I don't know where Browley's from. I found in the jungle down south." The Pikachu doesn't mention my lost humanity, although it isn't something worth sharing—it would only bog me down with stupid questions. Our guide smiles with a distant look in his eyes.
"I have a friend in Timburr Town. His name is Aron. I wish to visit him someday."
"Someday? Why not now?" Boon pats Sandshrew on the back, who examines his feet.
"Too dangerous. Pokémon found dead bodies. Explorers not camping in District 2 anymore. But their patrols are on edge. Defensive. Tense. Ready to strike." Whoops. I share a glance with Boon. "Need bodyguard. Can't find a good one." He stops walking and points to a wood door built into a rock wall. It has white paint sprawled messily as if someone simply said 'fuck it' while painting and slapped a large brush against it a couple times. "This is place. Your room is 205. Second floor. Stairs on left when you walk in. Work starts soon as you're ready. Best of luck." Sandshrew drops a key into Boon's hands and scampers away.
"Age before beauty." Boon states sweeping his arms to the entrance.
The interior is about what it would seem to be—rock walls, a counter in the right corner and a couple of chairs and a table across from it—nothing special. Built into the wall on our left is a stairway heading up exactly as Sandshrew directed. Boon absentmindedly scratches the bandages on his head while approaching a large brown owl running the counter.
"Excuse me? Mr. Noctowl? Or Miss Noctowl. Missus?"
"Oh thank heavens you two are here at last." Noctowl answers. "Finally those poor souls working their fingers to the bone mining can get some light. We sent a letter for you ages ago!"
"Heh, sorry but you have us mistaken." Boon laughs. "We're not who you think we are. But we are going to fix your light problem!" Did you just volunteer us for that? Really? Fuck… I guess it won't hurt. Being able to see in these tunnels will be helpful. Noctowl smiles so widely her eyes are forced closed.
"Wonderful! It's simply wonderful to know there are still children out there who care about the wellbeing of others."
"'plorerstimeanddarkness." Boon hides between coughs. "Andthatrescueteam." He hides between another set. I don't think Noctowl notices.
"I tell you, sometimes I feel as if the world has just given up hope." Hope for what?
Birdbrain's a waste of time. I snap my fingers and raise an open hand at the foot of the stairs. Boon stares at me for a second until understanding the message. He tosses me the key and I climb to room 205. The first set of stairs exit to a hallway of rooms labeled 1 to 100 and the second set exit to a hall labeled 200 to 300. Luminous Orbs are shoved into the walls, one between each wooden door. The room numbers are carved into the doors and filled with black paint to increase visibility; simple padlocks keep each room locked. Back in Africa locks only keep honest people out. Judging by the size of some of the Pokémon I have seen that expression must be doubly true here on Jichi.
Our room is roughly the same size as Boon's shack if he were to throw out all his furniture. There is enough room to run around in circles but the space was obviously designed for workers to sleep and get back to their job in the mines. There are two piles of hay tossed in the center; I run my fingers over a dead sunflower rotting in the darkest corner. I'm just now noticing Jichi's architects love to put things in corners. Pokémon here must enjoy having open space to do whatever they do for fun. Realization hits me like a brick to the face. This room is intended for two Pokémon; Boon sold himself to pay for a room for two. I doubt he expected to get lucky tonight—of that was the case it'd be more fruitful to get a room for one. He said earlier he was looking for me. Was he that certain he was going to find me? Someone knocks on the door, although I left it swung open. I raise my head to see Boon with his head poking into the room, those long ears of his jiggling along to his movements as he tosses his satchel onto the floor.
"Hey dude! Drop your stuff and come downstairs! There's banana bread!" My hand hovers inches from my rumbling stomach. Eating doesn't sound like a bad idea right now. "They got milk! Straight from a Miltank!" I follow the Pikachu downstairs where a pink cow and Drilbur sit at the table eating a loaf of bread. She scowls at me; I scowl at the cow milking itself. That's fucking disgusting. Couldn't it just use the milk tank? I flip to the cow's entry and its revelation gives me a migraine. There is no milk tank, the cow is called Miltank. Drilbur glares at the cow while Boon grabs himself and I two helpings of banana bread and a pink beverage.
"Why is your milk pink?" Drilbur questions in an accusatory tone. Miltank heartily giggles into her hooves.
"This isn't milk, num-nums. It's pleasure juice!" She explains. Drilbur's eyes are the size of dinner plates.
"P-pardon?"
"I don't have the vitamins to make milk! This is the juice that comes out when I feel all fuzzy inside! You see," Miltank continues flicking an udder teat. "-sometimes when I'm really happy my little Digletts get strong and flicky. And when I rub them my joy gets so full it leaks out of me!" Drilbur's gains a look of repulsion, her left eye visibly twitches. She climbs on top of the table and points a claw at Miltank's chest.
"YOU SICK FUCK!" The mole Pokémon roars. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Boon realizes what is going on rushes up the stairs leaving behind the 'milk'. We don't stop running until we are back in room 205 with the door shut and locked. A good amount of time is spent eating banana bread while listening to the one-sided argument still audible from our chamber. Eventually it ends with someone slamming a door downstairs. Boon scratches his bandages and breaks the silence between us by chuckling nervously. I can't help myself—I join him.
"Wow… I almost drank that." He confesses. "I hope we don't run into her again anytime soon." I hope we don't run into her again period. "I'm going to have a hard time drinking milk now." Likewise. He suddenly looks at me uneasily. "If she made the milk… who made the bread?"
Author's Note: So I bought all the DLC for Fallout: New Vegas and I've been playing that. And PAYDAY 2. And Bioshock. And Bioshock Infinite. By the way, those last two games are freaking amazing. If you haven't played them yet for some reason like me you really should. I highly recommend playing Bioshock before Bioshock Infinite though for maximum 'wow'ness. I've also had family working on creating an indie game, so that has kind of gotten in the way of updates as well. Sheesh, Broken Ideals got two big updates in before I could post this chapter. I've recommended two games so I might as well recommend fanfiction. Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Broken Ideals is really good and you should really read it and give the author some love if (yet again) you haven't for some reason.