"Okay, so here's what we have to do." Boon explains handing me the map of the tunnel network. The Hub is a rectangular area with tunnels coming in and out on all sides, but the majority is in the north. Tracks are mapped out as well, different levels are color coded, and Mystery Dungeons are shown by a star indicator. The downside is unlike District 2's map there is no way to see how big a Dungeon is, it is mostly guess work. "See those places marked with black squares?" Indeed I do. There are four of them—two in the west, one in the north, and one in the southeast. "Those are the generator rooms. Now apparently they run on these things called Energy Stones. All we have to do is walk to each one and let me power them up. Easy!" As long as Explorers don't get in the way, sure thing. I scan over the map's many tunnels and find the closest generator is on the second floor in the west. From the hotel we need to follow the mine tracks to the southwest exit of the Hub and that tunnel should lead us north. At the crossroad we take two lefts and then a right. It should go straight to the first generator. "You have a plan yet?" Boon asks. I nod my head and we exit the Hub through the southeast, reaching our destination in no time.
Generator room is roughly the same size as our hotel room, and just as empty as well. In the center waits a steel cube with a height and width as tall as myself.
"I think that's it!" Boon proclaims. "Let's get this done!"
"Halt!" Shouts a duo of Pokémon as they jump from behind the first generator. "We are Venonat and Venipede of Exploration Team Ven, and we are here to take you in!" Please tell me not all Explorer team names are this painful.
"Hehe! That rhymes!" Boon giggles. I'm assuming Venonat's the purple gnat thing and Venipede is the pink centipede with the bag—it would only make sense. Venonat tries to put on the scariest face she can muster, which quite frankly isn't very terrifying. I've seen poodles scarier.
"Laugh it up! You're about to get pounded by this tough fluff!" The gnat taunts.
"That's right!" Venipede adds. "We're going to give you a big fight!" There are no words to describe how much I hate this team. Boon steps forward scratching his bandages.
"Hey guys, can we not do this? I've got this itchy thing on my head and don't feel like getting into a brawl. We don't want any trouble, just to power up this generator."
"LIES!" Venonat shrieks. "You two are bad guys! Phanpy said so, um… foe!" I swear to God if they don't shut the fuck up I'm going to rearrange their spines. "Step it up! You are about to face one tough-OW!" My satchel has enough weight to leave a trickle of blood seeping through Venonat's fuzz. I'm not satisfied yet, so I swing twice more and cook the bug with an Ember. Her partner squeals like a little girl as he pulls a Blast Seed from his satchel. Another Ember ensures I am the only one who will be using it.
"That seemed unnecessary." Boon scolds approaching the generator. Don't want a lecture, man. Just power up that thing. "You must hate kids more than I thought." You have no idea. On the generator's side is an indented piece with a handle. Boon pulls out the section and peeks inside, whistling at whatever it is he sees. "This Energy Stone looks spent. I'm going to need a bit." His ears jump as high as they can go—trouble's here. I look towards the entrance and spot the shadows of various Pokémon rushing in our direction.
"Move it everyone! Venipede's scream came from here!"
"Are you kidding me!? More Explorers!?" Boon shouts in exasperation. True to his word five more Explorers funnel their way through the passage opening, pausing for a moment upon seeing their fallen brethren.
"Holy shit, the rumors are true!" A Quilava exclaims. He is joined by a Slowking, Wooper, Lotad, and Medicham. I toss my new Blast Seed at the group and perform Growl, managing to weaken the Slowking and Medicham. Boon performs Tail Whip on the Wooper and follows up with three ThunderShocks. The strange thing is Wooper doesn't take any damage whatsoever. "Smoking the targets!" From its mouth Quilava releases a torrent of thick black smoke into the room, both blinding me and sending me into a coughing fit. I have got to learn that Move one of these days—I have no doubt it will be useful. Boon's screams are spaced between coughing of his own, yet he still manages to get his message across.
"Ack! SmokeScreen! Can't see!" Yeah, no shit.
"Water Gun out!" Calls someone's voice from the smog. A blast of concentrated water knocks me onto my back leaving my skin burning from the elemental advantage.
"Growling!" Comes another. Boon's cursing indicates he is on the receiving end of the stick for that Move. I blindly sprint through the fog keeping my head low as water zips above me. "Medicham! Feint now!" Someone's fist smashes into my side, throwing me off my feet again. As SmokeScreen fades out of existence I am able to make out the silhouettes of the five Explorers encircling us. Boon remains glued to the generator providing power and Quilava appears to be taking a deep breath. Fuck, I think he's going to pull out more smoke. I rush on all fours to the corpse of Venipede and roll it off its satchel. Quickly I Growl into the still dissipating smoke and search with frantic hands for an item to use. I find a handful of seeds and a glass orb with an image of an arrow always pointing to the ground no matter how I roll the object. Good enough. The orb shatters when I slam it on the ground, and the shapes of most of the Explorers change, becoming much smaller than before. Quilava's face lengthens significantly while its body compacts into a chubby shape, Slowking falls on its face and the organic crown disappears, and Medicham turns into what can only be described as the lovechild of a smurf and Princess Leia.
"Oh man!" Boon cheers. "Did they devolve? What Orb was that?" No idea. Whatever it was it stunned the Explorers long enough for me to get my bearings. Boon shocks the living shit out of Lotad and Slowking (if I can call it that anymore) while I Scratch Wooper to pieces. Literally. The remaining Explorers snap out of their stupor and launch more attacks our way, but without the smoke we duck and dodge their Moves fairly easily. "Toss me something!" My ally orders with an arm raised. I throw him a random seed and he leaps from the generator to catch it. One of his hands lifts Quilava's new snout while the other shoves the seed into his mouth and down his throat. "That's right! Eat it, Cyndaquil! Man that is awesome!" 'Cyndaquil' immediately disappears and Boon unleashes ThunderShock after ThunderShock into the smurf-thing. It is then I notice Lotad and Slowking (who is now quadrupal and lacks any sort of clothing) are electrified husks. Wow, Boon didn't react to killing them; I'm proud. "Shit, I'm running dry" He says letting off weak sparks of electricity from his palms. Finish this one off for me?" He retreats to a corner leaving me one-on-one with the last surviving Explorer (unless the seed used on Cyndaquil was a Warp Seed). Large scorch marks cover the devolved Pokémon's frail body, and it appears to be unsteady on its feet.
"How the fuck did this happen?" She moans with ragged breaths. She's already out of it; there is not much fight left in her. Meh, she didn't even fight much to begin with. Crappy teammate if you ask me. The Explorer raises her hands and falls to her knees as tears fall down her face. "Please… no more. You already took away so much. My body, my friends, please stop this. Please. I'm a Meditite again! Do you know how long I waited to evolve?" No. Don't give two shits. Boon hops onto the generator with a bottle of brown liquid held between his lips and continues supplying power. "You don't have to do this. Please, turn yourself in and we'll be merciful." Shut the fuck up. Here I was thinking she was begging me to spare her, yet all the bitch is doing is trying to make me give up.
"Hey, we're just powering this place back up. You attacked us." My ally explains. Meditie's pleading face darkens to a scowl lighting fast.
"So be it. FORCE PALM!" She leaps at me with an open palm as bright light forms in it. Due to her telegraphing her intent and then shouting her Move's name, Boon and I are able to combine Ember and ThunderShock together into a fatal attack which drops her before she can even hope to do any damage.
"Why do some Pokémon do that?" Boon wonders aloud. "Yelling out attacks never sounded like a good idea to me." The Pikachu's face brightens and his ears erect when the generator unleashes a flash of light from its crystal. "Oh hey! It's done! Sweet!" A similar light emits from his red cheeks while the flame on my tail blazes in new energy. "Double sweet! I think we leveled!" Energy continues to flare up in both of us, prompting Boon to giggle like a child while clapping his hands. "Take that back—I think we leveled a few times! Hey, do me a favor and look up Medicham in the Pokédex, would you?" I fulfill his request and show him the page he wanted. He whistles in awe and points a finger at its evolution requirements. "Look at that! Level 37 just to evolve! No wonder we skyrocketed like we did! The XP must be huge!" This is making me feel like I'm in a Final Fantasy game. "Wonder if we got any new Moves…" Boon clenches his eyes and allows a current to form a wall of electricity between his hands. He shoves both arms out thereby launching the attack into the cave. "Awesome! I saw my bro use this move before! It's Thunder Wave! Did you get anything? Try to pull up something new from your PEN15!" Okay, we really have to talk about that name when we're done with this job.
I follow the same process as I do for summoning my other three Moves, yet try to reach for something different. Sure enough I feel my mouth fill with a fog, which reveals itself to be a thick black smoke as it shoots out like a high-powered smoke machine. I can do this already? Awesome! Unlike Quilava's version of the attack, I can see mine dissipate almost as instantly as it appears. Not awesome.
"Why the long face?" My ally asks. "You learned SmokeScreen! Infernape loves that Move! In fact, he said it's the only one he never swapped for another ever." I attempt to blow more smoke to create a longer effect, yet no dice. "What are you doing? Trying to make that stuff stay?" Yeah? "Browley, that's a Move, why would it be any different than the other ones? It only works on Pokémon." But- "Come on, I'll tell you a story while we walk." I transfer the contents of Venipede's satchel to mine and follow Boon back to the tracks. Next generator is literally underneath the crossroad, but we can't access it from there. We'll have to take the eastern path and go down the hole which saved my life when Wartortle brought me to this place. Then we'd go west across some tracks, take a turn north, go through another 'room', and take its western exit which angles to the south. It should lead us to a tunnel east and then to the generator. Why do things have to be so complicated? I'll say this though: that blown hole did cut the journey in half. I should be thankful.
Boon and I tread through the tunnels and he stays true to his word, recounting a tale from one of his early days.
"Once when I was a Pichu there were these bullies in my neighborhood. One of them was a Magby and he knew SmokeScreen. He would use it all the time on Pokémon, and it never looked like it did when Quilava used it. It looked like what you're doing, but the weird thing is the Pokémon that got hit with the move would act like their stuck in smoke, even though they weren't! Their eyes were really nasty when they were smoked. Like—the insides looked like smoke! I think SmokeScreen did something to them internally. It was like they being affected by smoke from the inside out! Weird stuff man. That smoke we saw when Quilava used it was probably inside our eyes or something." That's a little disturbing. "Couple years later in school there was a lesson on it and the teacher said Pokémon with their eyes smoked over like that are called um…" Boon taps his chin in thought then begins snapping his fingers. "Dang it, what were they called again? Hm… I'll have to get back to you on that one. Oh look! The hole!"
It's a little strange to be back in the place where I almost met my end. The familiarity combined with the no longer tense atmosphere is to blame. Being back in the area reminds me that the drop down is not a safe one, thankfully Excadrill and his workers appear to have put up a wooden walkway for a quick and easy path between floors. We drop down the hole (this being my second time) taking careful precaution to land on the new scaffoldings. Boon climbs down the side effortlessly while I take the long way—the ramp someone went through the trouble of placing. Analyzing the map, I see Drilbur took me through the southern path. In order to get to the next generator we're going to have to take the western path instead. I point the way and Boon gives me the thumbs up. Not more than fifteen steps later our tunnel opens into a four-way room—the north and south tunnels occupied by mine tracks. The railway crossing isn't what concerns me; it's the fucking Explorers patrolling around a campfire with piles of hay spread about. There are four of them in total: a Starly picking its wing feathers as it hops in circles on the opposite end of the tracks, a Shieldon keeping a close eye on the south tunnel, a Tangela dangerously close to the campfire, and a Ledian with a satchel following the walls. One of their voices softly echoes a tune though the room and briefly into the tunnels.
"There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure
'cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In the tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
'Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven." Ledian stops flying his path and looks to the other Explorers.
"Who's singing?" He demands. Shieldon paws at the dirt and tries to avoid eye contact.
"Er-uh-I-oh. Sorry guys." He apologizes. Ledian shakes his head and resumes flying circles around the room. Alright then, what all did Venipede have in its satchel? I pull out three Orbs and show them to Boon, who studies them with close attention to detail.
"Let's see…" The mouse lowly murmers. "Lob, Rollcall, and-oh! What's this? All-Mach! That will be useful." He places the object in my hands and winks at me. "Makes us speedy." What will the plan be then? "That Ledian and Starly I can mess up without even trying. Tangela looks easy for you to handle, and Shieldon is armored against both of us. Shouldn't be too much of a problem though." If that's the case then I think I already know how this is going to work. I draw a diagram of the situation into the dirt, pointing out instructions for Boon to follow. When he confirms he understands, I rub it out and get into a rushing stance with three fingers raised. Then I only have two. Then one. All fingers down and the All-Mach Orb smashed against the wall, we charge for the camp kicking up a trail of dust to follow in our wake. Our speed is quite simply astonishing; it is a speed I could only dream of matching after watching the prison break scene in Inglorious Basterds. Wind rushes past me as I Ember Tangela, shove it into the fire, and Growl Shieldon while Boon simultaneously Thunder Shocks Ledian and Starly out of commission and switches his target to the shielded survivor. Thanks to that Orb we eliminated three Explorers in three seconds. Shieldon isn't even able to completely turn around before he is dispatched by a hail of electricity and fire. These things would have been extremely useful in Africa. I'm beginning to like this place. "Ha! I love speed enhancers!" Boon exclaims stealing Ledian's bag. "I used to use things like this all the time for parkour training." He rummages through its contents and tosses me a bottle identical to the one he was drinking from after the first generator battle. The label is white with tan stains and crinkles; on it are various footprint designs. Are these supposed to be words? "Max Elixer." Boon translates. "My Footprint Rune's a little rusty but I can recognize the label anywhere. Remember when I talked about your Moves having a limited amount of PP? That's more of it." I put the bottle into my own satchel. "Erm, okay. Guess it makes sense to save for when you really need it. Hey! There's a diary in here!"
He holds a couple of papers in his hands and grimaces. "Freaking Explorers using Footprints. Who does that anymore? That's ancient civilization crap. Heck, even that Spoink was normal enough to write in Unknown!" Is that what that style is called? I thought certain Pokémon had an eye fetish; I'm learning new things every day. "Honestly, I can understand them learning the language for exploring ruins and stuff, but for every day? Why?" Stop complaining and figure out what it means. Boon starts reading the diary trying to convert the strange symbols into something coherent. "Blah blah blah Jichi Exploration, search for Lost Treasure, blah blah Lapras transportation, blah blah can't go to towns blah blah moans of agony blah bl-what? That's interesting." My means of translation silently rereads the out of place section and delves into its finer details. "Apparently up ahead along the way to the next generator there's a wall where moaning can sometimes be heard from. These guys are waiting on an Exploration Team with someone that knows Dig to go check the place out. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" This is a mine, should have some dynamite. We can use that to blow open the wall and see what's going on for ourselves.
While walking west we encounter a large cavity in a wall where a Mystery Dungeon is presumably located. It is too dark to see any distortion, so I'd rather not check the validity of our map. We push past the deformity of nature and our tunnel twists north to the next cavern. This one is twice as large as the previous and contains an opening to its northeast where a mining track comes from, cutting off at the northwest where another opening is visible. To the cavern's north is a void much like the one we just passed. We're not alone; yet another Exploration Team set up an outpost in the spacious chamber. This one has stacks of wood, crates and metal sheets defending a bundle of teepees . There are six Explorers gathered in a circle.
"Press it again! Press it again!" Chants a Rattata. A Spearow with a blue cloth wrapped around its neck pecks the purple rat in the head.
"Enough! This is the third time we've heard this!" It berates. "Isn't that right, Gligar?" Gligar's reply is incomprehensible due to it speaking with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. "Tyrogue? What do you think? Should we listen again?" Is that thing wearing shorts and shoes? "What about you Wur-"
"I'm sorry, but who is the leader of Team Tasty?" A Swellow interrupts peering hard into Spearow's eyes. "Me. And I say we listen to it again."
"Why!?" Spearow wails in disbelief.
"Wurmple doesn't get it." The larger bird bluntly answers gesturing with a wing to the red and white caterpillar.
"Yes I do!" Wurmple insists. "Y-yeesh!" Boon points a finger at the side of his head and circles it a few times. "But I still don't know whe-"
"Nobody does! But fine! I give up! Play the stupid thing again and better yet, show it to the whole stinking mine!" The Spearow flaps into a tent fuming as Swellow rolls its eyes.
"Wurmple, remind me to reflect on why I let that Pokémon join our team."
"Yes sir."
Another Africa recording plays, its sound reverberates enough for Boon and I to hear if we listen closely.
"Getting them in Africa is the easy part. Schools, church groups, fucking volunteers look for someone to offer a cheap trip so they can donate a couple of shitty shoes they won't be caught dead wearing and go back to their pampered homes acting like they made a huge fucking difference. I offer them that and half the job is already done. Getting them inside this country is the hard part. The fuckers stay as close to protected civilization as they can, as close to the areas like home that they can, and don't even bother to get out of the city for the privileged for five minutes. Don't even bother to see the real Africa—the Africa they supposedly care so much about saving. But when I do manage to get them out of safety, it's just a simple matter of pointing a gun and tossing them into my plane's storage. Nobody can stop me then; not even the privileged few has the money for anti-aircraft defending all borders. Then once they're in the country just hand off to the customer as soon as possible and get paid. Rinse and repeat."
I feel an object pressed into my hand; when I look Boon gives me a thumbs up while I clench an Orb. "Ledian had some great stuff!" He whispers. "That's a Decoy Orb! We use this on one of them and we can get by without killing anyone!" Interesting. I hand the Orb back to my ally—this fire of mine isn't going to let me pull off stealthing it. "Heh, yeah I can do this. Soon as the Orb goes off just run." That's the plan. "Sneaky! Sneaky! I'm going to be sneaky!" Boon holds the Decoy Orb in his mouth, then lowers his body millimeters above the ground and craws on all fours towards the Explorers. He is doing really freaking well staying undetected—it wasn't until around the time I was leaving Africa that I was able to stay hidden this well. Even so, I didn't have yellow fur either. Boon reaches danger-close distance of Rattata and moves the Orb to his hands. Rapidly he rubs the glass sphere as if it was a genie lamp and the object flashes green. The light envelops Rattata causing it to freeze in place and glow in the same color the Decoy Orb lit up. Boon immediately darts for the Western Exit and I follow suite. As I clear the chamber the other Explorers begin to shout.
"Guys! Look! Get it!"
"It's you! Team! Get 'em!"
"Everyone target that one!"
"Action time! Let's go!"
Peeking over my shoulder reveals the entire Exploration Team (even Spearow) pumping their teammate Rattata full of every Move they have. The rat is still immobile and forced to endure the constant barrage of its own allies. I fucking love Orbs. I round a corner where Boon is waiting on me. "We really need to get more of those!" He exclaims. We keep walking and along the way spot a metallic plate in the dirt, a green hologram shaped like an arrow emits from its center. "This doesn't look right." Boon says. He steps into the hologram and is outlined in green for a fleeting moment. "No, this doesn't look right at all. This thing is a Wonder Tile. They fix up minor stuff like headaches, blurry vision, stubbed toes, whatever." Well then what's the problem? Couldn't an Explorer have set it up? "These are supposed to be in Mystery Dungeons, not here." Well that is a little worrying. What's a Dungeon tile doing outside of a Dungeon? Boon scratches his bandage and steps off. "Let's hit the next generator." Our second generator is around another corner; this room is roughly half the size of the last yet retains the basic formula of 'one room with a box in the center'. Boon runs electricity from his cheeks to his hands in preparation for another group like Team Ven. Fortunately none are around; it's just him and I. He scurries to metallic box and checks the crystal. "Yep, this one is going to take a bit. You think we're going to have more Explorers to deal with?"
"Ready up!" A voice, presumably a team leader, shouts from above. Jesus Christ, these guys don't give up do they? "Cyndaquil, you've dealt with them before, what can we expect?"
"It's Quilava…" Another voice revises. Uh oh, more smoke does not sound good. "Shock tactics."
"Is that an electricity pun or not?" The leader inquires. Boon crouches behind the generator keeping a hand charging the crystal inside. He mouths me something yet I cannot understand what. He repeats this three or four times before facepalming and simply asking:
"Newsies?" What? What is that supposed to mean? The Pikachu lets his cheeks spark for clarification. Oh, the new attacks. I toss him a thumbs up and prepare a SmokeScreen for the Exploration Team. "Whiffers!" Boon suddenly shouts. "That's the name I was looking for!" Huh?
"Crap, could they hear us?" The Exploration Team leader's voice accidently echoes. "Hope you guys are ready, because plan rehearsal will not go well!" Looks like things are about to get messy. The air is abuzz with anticipation—both the Explorers and us are set for battle. "CHAAAARGE!"
Three Pokémon funnel after us, without checking what we're going up against I SmokeScreen while Boon Thunder Waves. Cyndaquil and a chubby hammerhead with arms and legs are hit by Boon's attack, a blue tadpole with feet and a swirl mark on a white chest is hit by mine. Cyndaquil ceases its charge and begins twitching furiously as electricity runs through his body while the tadpole's pupils fill with black smoke just as Boon's story told. The shark thing appears unaffected, and instead shoots a fireball from its mouth screaming, "Dragon Rage!" Boon ducks back behind the generator where the attack harmlessly explodes upon collision. Harmlessly explodes… never thought I could use those two words together. I was expecting the generator to blow up or something.
"Gible's still kicking!" Boon points out. He leans from his cover and shoots electricity from his hand to the Whiffer tadpole, frying it in two shocks. "Poliwag's not! Unfortunately… I guess." A force slams me into the wall and I notice Cyndaquil has recovered from his seizure. My mind is unable to register his speed in which he tackles me multiple times with. Like a self-aware cannonball the fire-type charges into me at ludicrous speeds, rolls out of reach, and repeats the process. The torment only ends when my ally delivers another Thunder Wave to Cyndaquil, sending it back into a spasm. I don't want to take any chances so he gets a SmokeScreen as well. Then some son of a bitch tosses sand into my eyes.
"Sand-Attack! Sand-Attack! Sand-Attack!" Gible yells tossing handfuls of bright specks at me. Whatever the specks are they are definitely not sand, for Gible is forming them in his hands rather than scooping up the ground. Each time my eyes involuntarily squint harder and harder until everything is a blur between two black bars of unlit inner eyelids. A yellow form jumps on Gible's head causing it to flail around a tan shape. "Agh! Get it off! Get it off!" Gible cries as I rub my eyes. The rubbing helps a little, although by the time my eyes are completely clear the battle will already be over. Instead I opt to unleash a torrent of Scratches at every blur except the yellow one, starting with tan. It falls to the ground and my hands feel sticky—a sign I did some damage. I don't leave anything to chance though; I use a few Embers on the fallen shape and turn my attention to the still panicking Gible blur. "Stop using Tail Whip!" It whines. Boon set this one up for me. I use Ember once—miss—twice—miss—three's the charm? Miss again.
"Stop missing!" The Pikachu riding the shark shouts. "I can't do this all day!" I attempt a fourth Ember yet nothing comes out. What the? I try again yet still cannot pull any fire energy out for combat. Shit, I think I'm out of juice. SmokeScreen takes three tries but I succeed making Gible's form trip from the sudden lack of sight. "Taking too long!" Boon scolds. I continue wiping my eyes clear while Boon does something to Gible. "Now beat yourself up for making me shove a Totter Seed in your mouth!" Gible's blur runs into a wall repeatedly until it turns red and stops moving. "Holy shit! I said 'beat yourself up', not 'smash your head open!' Jeez!" Boon creates three clicking noises with his tongue and grabs me by the arm. "Come on, let's get you to that Wonder Tile outside this room. We can finish recharging this place later." It's embarrassing having to be led like a child, but my vision is too awful for me to let pride get in the way. I step on a green blur and instantaneously the fog from my eyes is lifted. Boon smiles at me as I step off. "As concerning as it is for those things to be popping up outside Mystery Dungeons, it's pretty nice this one did, huh?" I nod. "I'm gonna finish with the generator. You stand watch?" He jogs back down before I can answer. I check my satchel and find the very same Max Elixir my ally suggested I use earlier. Now's as good of a time as ever. Screw open the lid and pour the bottle's contents into my mouth; stuff tastes like Pepto-Bismol.