Chapter 24

"Some shore leave."

"Tell me about it."

They were staring out the window of her new apartment. The windows simulated a pretty orange sunset, but Shepard knew that the artificial Citadel lights were always on. This place was a stark contrast from space, where the days were as dark as the nights. She hated it here. Still, Anderson had given her the apartment, and after the incident with her clone, a little vacation sounded perfect. Having to kill herself had made her head spin.

She took a long drink. "At least it's over now."

"We'll see about that," Kaidan smiled. "With you around, I figure it's all bound to blow up any minute now."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

She was glad she'd patched things up with Kaidan. He finally seemed to believe that she was no longer involved with Cerberus. It had taken a lot of talking for her to forgive him for doubting her, but it felt good to make another ally. She'd even let him back on the ship, so long as he promised not to question her loyalty again.

"I'm going to get another."

She held up her glass and he nodded as she walked toward the kitchen of her new apartment. She was actually drinking water in a tinted cup, but the crew didn't need to know that. Several of them had hassled her for not joining in the festivities, but knowing their capacity for violence, she figured a sober presence would come in handy. Before she got there, she was stopped by a familiar face.

"Nice party, Shepard," Garrus greeted her.

He glanced over her shoulder at Kaidan for a moment before refocusing on her with a grin. He seemed distracted.

"Thanks, Garrus. How much have you had to drink?"

"Oh, you know... A few shots with your friend Vega, a beer with Tali, something fruity with Liara... But who's keeping track?"

She smirked. "Maybe you should."

"Spoilsport!" Tali slurred from the kitchen. She was draped over the counter.

"You don't want to end up like that, do you?" Shepard jerked a thumb at the drunk quarian.

"No, I'm fine! Never been better. Hey, listen, I wanted to tell you something. And I'm reeeally hoping you don't get mad at me."

Her stomach knotted. She had no idea what he was about to say, but it couldn't be good with a preface like that. She noticed a few sets of eyes focused in on their conversation, and the room was noticeably quieter.

"Go ahead," she grimaced, preparing for the worst.

"Well, remember that time we met your clone?"

"Yes, that was yesterday," she replied, gritting her teeth. The build-up was killing her.

"You wouldn't be angry if I took her home, would you? She had the nicest body..."

The room filled with laughter and her muscles relaxed. Just a joke. She'd expected much worse.

"Yeah, I want in on that action too," Vega called from the other room.

Okay, now she was a little embarrassed.

"I'd make a vid with her and put it on the extranet," Jack joined in, her face full of mischief.

"Wait, what?" Vega was focused on Jack now. "What did you just say? Because I could have sworn it was something amazing."

She breathed a sigh of relief as the conversation shifted. She felt strange about Garrus calling her attractive, even as a joke. He must have been pretty hammered. Though the rest of the crew was hanging on every word as Jack recounted some sexual encounter with an asari, Garrus was still smirking at Shepard.

"Can I help you?" she asked patiently, as if speaking to a child.

"Probably not. I was just thinking it might be fun to see the fabled Commander Shepard try to dance."

"Not happening," she replied, trying not to let her amusement tighten the corners of her mouth.

"Oh, come on. You might actually enjoy it."

His voice had settled into a lower register than normal, and he was practically purring at her. He was obviously trying to be seductive, and Shepard couldn't decide if she wanted to tackle him to the floor and tear off his casuals or laugh at him. Before she made up her mind, she noticed his smile spreading.

"No. Don't your dare try anything."

She held up one finger dangerously, but he merely grinned and grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the couches. Panic setting in, she dug her heels into the carpet.

"Vakarian, what the hell are you doing? Let me go this instant!" she cried, trying to grab the back of the couch for an anchor.

He ignored her protests. "Glyph, put something lively on, and turn it up. And could we get some festive lighting?"

Tali, who had taken another two shots ("To wake myself up!" she'd explained to Zaeed as he poured), clapped her hands in excitement as dance music started to play. Somehow, Glyph had even managed to get some colored lights, and the living room looked like a club. By the time Garrus had picked Shepard off the ground - she'd dropped as a defense mechanism - more than a few of her crew was dancing. Kasumi was flitting in and out of sight, revealing herself to dance with a new partner every few seconds. Tali was grinding on Zaeed, who looked unimpressed, while Liara was shuffling awkwardly away from Specialist Traynor's exuberant fist-pumping.

"See? Everyone else is having fun," he pursued, swaying to the beat.

"You're going to pay for this."

"I'm sure we'll both enjoy that. Now, let's see those moves."

Was he flirting with her? That was unlike him. Probably a result of the alcohol.

Kasumi appeared suddenly at her side."Don't you get tired of being a hard-ass, Shepard? God knows you need an excuse to unwind."

"Yeah, Commander, shake it!" Traynor yelled, still dancing passionately by herself.

Shepard shook her head, sighing, "You're all drunk," but started to move her hips to the music.

"Now we're talking," Garrus hummed.

Jack and Vega, apparently fast friends, were cat-calling her, and the way Garrus watched her made her feel uneasy, but she ignored them. In a few short days, they would all be walking into hell with her. The least she could do was cut them a little slack.

A few hours later after everyone had settled down or passed out, Shepard ascended the stairs to her bedroom, stripping and making her way to the shower. She needed to cool off after all that dancing. After a quick rinse, she walked out of the bathroom. Luckily she was wearing a towel, because Garrus was sitting on the end of her bed.

She groaned. "Do you need to puke? This isn't the only bathroom."

"No, I'm feeling fine, but thank you for the offer."

"Well, it's a standing invitation. You might want to steer clear of the bathroom by the bar, by the way; I don't want to know what happened, but I'm told Grunt trashed it. Anyway, did you need a place to crash? Last I saw, Traynor and Kasumi were making a fort out of the rest of my blankets and pillows, so you'll have to speak to them about it. I bought a bunch of dextro snacks too, so just check the fridge if you get hungry."

"Actually, I just thought it would be nice to talk for a bit."

"Oh. That's... new. Anything on your mind?"

"Just you." He was smiling at her, and it gave her that strange feeling again that she'd had when he complimented her.

"Why did you say that stuff earlier?" she asked suddenly. "That joke. About my clone."

"Kaidan was giving you this sappy look like he used to give you on the SR-1. Like he never wanted you to leave."

"Oh. I see." She wasn't sure how to feel about Garrus protecting her from Kaidan. "Well, thanks for having my back."

He stood and moved toward her slowly, his eyes gleaming. "If I'm being honest, it wasn't entirely for your benefit."

"Uh, Garrus? What are you doing?" She took a subconscious step back.

"I wanted him to know he wasn't the only one vying for your attentions," he continued, still advancing. "Why do you think I wanted to dance with you?"

"Wait, you're... You said you wanted to start over. This doesn't make sense, you're just drunk."

"Actually, I haven't had anything to drink for a few hours. I'm as sober as you are. Don't think you fooled anyone with that opaque cup, by the way."

He trailed a finger over her exposed shoulder and she forced herself not to lean into the touch.

"You said we shouldn't sleep together."

Why was she arguing? She wanted this as much as he did, especially since he was using that deep voice again, without the influence of alcohol this time.

"Do you know what Thane said to me?"

The memory of her friend struck her painfully and she shook her head.

"He told me he loved you."

Thane loved her? She supposed on some level she'd always known he had feelings for her, but love? It made sense now that he had been so tight-lipped about her interactions with Garrus. It would also explain his son's attitude toward her; watching his father spend the last minutes of his life in the company of a woman who didn't return his affection must have been difficult for Kolyat.

"Why are you telling me this?" she demanded.

"He told me that you'd been too focused on someone else to notice. He told me to take care of you... And then he said he hoped things would work out between us."

Her mouth was dry. Oh, hell. Did Garrus think she'd gone to Thane with some confession about her feelings for him? "I never said anything like that to him. I didn't talk to him about you at all."

"It's okay, Shepard. I don't need you to say how you feel. You finally stopped pretending, and that's good enough for me."

He touched her cheek, and she remained still as he bent to kiss her. His mouth moved slowly against hers, softly, so unlike what she was used to from him. She wanted to shove him back, tell him he was crazy, but she knew he was right. And she was so sick of trying to hide it. He worked slowly, brushing her hair from her face and holding her gently, until the last of her will-power melted and her hands were around his neck instead of holding her towel up.

He lifted her carefully and set her on the bed, still kissing her as she tugged his clothes off. Instead of the rough clawing she remembered he was capable of, her skin was met with soft touches. Shepard gasped as he worked his way downward, kissing her neck and then her chest. Her fist balled around the sheets as he settled between her legs. After only a few minutes she was writhing as she marveled at the feel of his tongue, her hands grasping the back of his head as her breath came in gasps. He moved up higher and kissed her lips. She moaned, tasting herself, and reached down. She wanted to feel him inside her, to let him have her. The times she'd been with him before had meant nothing to her. He'd only been a means to an end. This time was different; she wanted him. Not because he was convenient or because he was a turian, but because she wanted to be with him. She had grown to care for Garrus. Maybe she couldn't bring herself to tell him how she felt, but she could show him.

She positioned him, and he slid into her slowly, making her shudder against him. She kissed along his mandible as he moved inside her, running his hands over her. She rolled, her body still entwined with his, so she was on top, and continued to slide herself up and down his length. He held her tightly, murmuring into her ear as her fingertips wandered over the lines of his plates. Moments before his own completion, she came undone, her head thrown back and his name on her lips. She let her head rest on his chest, just below the divot of his cowl, and tried not to hate herself for being so vulnerable with him as he ran his fingers through her auburn hair. They lay there for some time, still tangled together, until she drifted to sleep still wrapped in his arms. For the first time in years, she didn't dream about Nihlus.

(A/N): That didn't last long. Hope the party scene was fitting; the Citadel DLC was pretty funny, so I tried to keep the theme.