"Son of the Joker"
By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I was glad to get your attention, DZ2, and I'm glad you like how this is turning out so far.

Chapter 3

"I will have to go to the airport to see if the Weasleys are back from Egypt," said James. "Harry, you don't mind if I borrow your Invisibility Cloak, do you?"

"No, godfather, go right ahead."

James rummaged through Harry's trunk. "Ah, here you are, my old friend. Siri, I'll meet you and Harry at Gringotts."

"Godspeed ... Two Face."

James gave them a lopsided grin and departed.

"Dad, how did his face get like that?"

"That's a story I will have to tell you later, son. I hope everything is well in Gringotts with the Black Vault ... or heads are going to roll. Grab a hold of me, and I will take us there."

~SON OF THE JOKER~

Arriving at the airport, James saw an old friend.

"Hey, Moony, long time no see."

"Now, there are none but three in the world who know me by that name," Remus said as he turned around. "Prongs, is that you?"

"In the flesh. Are you working as an airport security guard now?"

"I have the build and the speed for it."

"How do they deal with your furry little problem?"

"I've explained it to my boss as a terrible monthly sickness. He makes sure there is someone to cover for me during the times I have to be absent."

"I'm glad to hear it. Any sign of the Weasleys yet?"

"Not yet. Why do you ask?"

James fished a picture out of his pocket. "Here's a picture in The Daily Prophet about them. Take a close look at it, and tell me what you see."

Remus examined it. "Besides the Weasleys ... hold on ... a rat on one of their shoulders?"

"Yep, you got it right in one. Who else do we know that's a rat?"

"Wormtail." The word came out in a growl.

"Easy there, Moony, easy. I don't want you to go psycho, nobody does, not in this environment."

Remus lowered his voice. "That backstabbing bastard of a rat is missing a toe, Prongs! They said the only part of Pettigrew they could find was his finger! I can't believe he's still alive!"

"Yep, he is. Tell your fellow security guards that the dragon shite's about to hit the spinning blades, if they get the drift."

"The expression doesn't specify what kind of shite, Prongs."

James shrugged. "Whatever. Things should be getting ... hairy in here in about a minute ..."

A fellow security guard overheard. "What do you mean by that, sir? Who are you?"

"I'm a fellow officer of the law," said James, holding out his identification. "I have a suspect to pick up here."

"What do you mean by suspect, Officer Potter? We don't have any suspects in custody."

James grinned. "You will. Can I count on you for some backup, in case he tries to escape?"

"Yes, sir, you can count on us. Do you have a name and description?"

"His name is Peter Pettigrew. He's short, pudgy, rat-faced ... and when I say rat-faced, I MEAN rat-faced. I have to take him in alive. I believe he should be traveling with a family of redheads called the Weasleys."

"Officer Potter? It looks like they've just arrived, but no man of that description is with them."

"Is there a rat with them?"

"That's an affirmative."

"Confiscate it, and bring it to Officer Lupin and me."

"Understood, sir. Mr. Weasley?"

"Yes, Officer?"

"We need to confiscate this rat from you for inspection. We will be just a moment."

~SON OF THE JOKER~

They took the rat and its cage into a private room. "Lock the door. We don't want him to escape when we let him out of the cage."

Upon seeing its cage open, the rat tried to make a run for it, when the Animagus Reversal spell hit him, bringing him back into human form.

The other security guards were ready. "FREEZE, SCUMBAG!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

"DON'T MOVE A FREAKING MUSCLE!"

James smiled as he put handcuffs on a frightened Pettigrew. "Peter Pettigrew, you are under arrest for being an accessory to the murder of Lily Black as well as the murder of 13 Muggles in a London street, not to mention all that property damage from blowing up that gas line. I know you're guilty, you little rat, so don't try to talk your way out of it."

He held Pettigrew in a sleeper hold, knocking him out for the moment..

"Moony, frisk him."

Remus inspected Pettigrew, finding two wands on him, which he handed to James.

"Officer Potter," said one of the guards, "what's a Muggle?"

"Officer Lupin will explain it to you. In the meantime, I have to escort this prisoner into custody. Cheerio."

Remus Lupin put on a pair of sunglasses and held up what looked like an electronic pen. "Gentlemen, the answers you seek lie in this little device." He pressed a button, and a light shone. "Thank you for your cooperation. Thanks to your excellent teamwork, my colleague has apprehended a dangerous terrorist. It's been great working with you all, but I have to get going myself for better things on the horizon."

~SON OF THE JOKER~

A rapping sounded on the door of the Head Auror's office. "Who is it?"

"Madam Bones, this is Auror Potter, reporting with a new prisoner for questioning."

"Come in."

What Madam Amelia Bones, Director of the DMLE was not expecting was to see Auror James Potter enter with an alive Peter Pettigrew.

"Auror Potter, what is the meaning of this? This had better not be some joke."

"It is not, Madam, I assure you. I discovered and arrested him at the airport on the charges of being an accessory to the murder of Lily Black and the murder of those 13 Muggles."

"He's not dead, is he, Auror Potter?"

"No, Madam - only knocked out so he wouldn't give me any trouble. Shall we call the Minister?"

Madam Bones went over to her fireplace, threw in some Floo powder, and stuck her head through the green flames. "Minister's office!"

"Why, Madam Bones, what brings you here on a Floo call to me?"

"Minister, Auror Potter has brought in an interesting prisoner. I just thought you might like to be a witness to his questioning."

"Why would you think I would be interested, Madam?"

"It involves the case of Sirius Black."

This attracted the Minister's attention. "Sirius Black, you say? Give me a couple minutes, and I'll be right over to your office, Madam."

A couple minutes later, he came through the Floo. His mouth dropped open in brief surprise. "Peter Pettigrew! He's still alive?"

"Like I said to Madam Bones, Minister, he's just knocked out."

"Well, let's wake him up and pump some Veritaserum in him."

"Ennervate."

Peter Pettigrew woke up. "Where am I?"

"You are in the Ministry, Peter, and we are about to question you ... with Veritaserum. Will you accept?"

Peter sighed. "Yes, I will accept it."

Madam Bones put the three required drops of Veritaserum on his tongue. "State your name for the record."

"Peter Jonah Pettigew."

"You were a friend of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Were you a Secret Keeper?"

"Yes, I was."

"For the Potters?"

"No, for the Blacks."

"Why did you ask that question, Madam?" said James. "I never married, you know that."

Madam Bones waved off the question. "Irrelevant. Are you a follower of Lord Voldemort, also known as a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

"Was Sirius Black ever in the same organization?"

"No."

"Did you betray Sirius and Lily Black to Lord Voldemort?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"The Dark Lord possesses terrible ways of torturing people for information. He would have tortured me or killed me if I refused."

"Did Sirius Black kill those 13 Muggles with a gas line explosion?"

"No."

"Did you?"

"Yes."

Minister Fudge raised his hand. "I have one question, Pettigrew: how was it that the only thing we found was your finger?"

"I cut it off before I blew the gas line and disappeared as a rat."

Madam Bones continued the questions. "Have you registered your rat Animagus form with the Ministry, Pettigrew?"

"No."

"How did you become an Animagus, then?"

"James, Sirius, and I became Animagi at Hogwarts so we could keep Remus Lupin company during his transformations."

Madam Bones looked at James. "Auror Potter, you never told me you were an Animagus."

"My apologies, Madam, but the best secrets are those the enemy does not know."

She nodded. "Indeed. You and Sirius can register with me. Minister, we trust you to keep this in the strictest of confidence."

The Minister was writing on a parchment. "I understand, Madam. This here is an official pardon for Sirius Black, exonerating him of his alleged crimes. The next question is, what are we to do with Pettigrew?"

"If I might make a suggestion ..."

"Go ahead, Auror Potter."

James held up a Sickle and showed it to Peter. "We will let Lady Luck decide. Heads ..." he showed the normal side, "... we toss you into the Veil. Tails ..." here he showed the burnt side, "...I take you to Sirius and he decides what to do with you."

Neither one of these options sounded good to Peter. "James, would you do this to one of your friends?"

"You stopped being my friend the day you betrayed my other friends, Peter ... but relax. You are not thinking of the odds. 50/50. Unbiased. Fair."

He flipped the coin. "It looks like this is your lucky day after all, Peter."

He showed him the burnt side ...

~SON OF THE JOKER~

Entering Gringotts, Sirius and Harry found a group of Goblin guards with their weapons drawn.

"What do you know? A welcoming commitee."

Before a fight could break out, a loud voice said, "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS - NOW!"

"Your Majesty," said a Goblin, "is this not the alleged criminal Sirius Black?"

"Alleged criminal or not, he is still one of our wealthiest customers. I will not have bloodshed on the floors of My bank – HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THIS? DO YOU WANT TO START ANOTHER WAR WITH THE WIZARDS?"

"Of course not, Your Majesty –"

"THEN DO AS I SAY, OR I WILL SEE THE LOT OF YOU BEHEADED!"

All the weapons clanged to the ground as His Majesty, Ragnok, King of the Goblin Nation, appeared.

"Rule #1 of Dealing with Goblins, Harry: Be Polite. Rule #2: If you do smile, do not show your teeth, for they see it as a sign of aggression. Rule #3: Do NOT, whatever you do, draw your wand in Gringotts."

"Lord Black ... Master Black ... how may Gringotts serve ye both today?"

"Best to start the greeting with a bow, son." They bowed. "May Your Majesty's gold flow forever! My son and I came to check on the status of the Black Vault ... and take care of some other business."

"May your enemies fear your approach, Lord Black ... Master Black. Come with me into my office, and we shall see how your vault stands."

~SON OF THE JOKER~

"Does Your Majesty mind if I smoke?"

"No, Lord Black, I won't mind it at all. Go right ahead."

Sirius pulled out of his coat a pack of Camels. "Harry, in case you're wondering, the Black Family is so rich that we own a piece of R.J. Reynolds, the company behind Camels. Now, where in blazes is that damn lighter of mine?"

"If I may provide a lighter for you, Lord Black ..."

"Thank you, Your Majesty – whoa, a golden Zippo? Your Majesty has a rich taste!"

"No richer than your vault, Lord Black."

Sirius lit the Camel. "Ah, a classic cigarette lit by a classic lighter – what could be better? So ... relaxing ... now, to business. May I have an Inheritance test for my son here?"

"Aye, we can do that. All we need from Master Black is three drops of blood on this parchment."

Harry provided the three drops, and Ragnok looked over the document. "Hmmm ... Heir of House Black, of course ... Heir of House Potter ... I guess Lord Potter is not married, huh?"

"Nope. That half-scarred face is terrible for him in the romance department. Harry's the closest to a son he has."

"Quite so ... Heir of Gryffindor ... Heir of Slytherin by conquest ... makes sense ... his magic has a Block on it at the moment ... whoever put it there should have taken it off at the age of eleven ... don't you worry, we can take care of removing it ..."

"Any idea who placed it?" said Harry.

"It is the same suspicion as always, son: Albus TOO-MANY-MIDDLE-NAMES-MANIPULATIVE-OLD-GOATFUCKER Dumbledore."

"That's a mouthful if I ever heard one," said Harry with a mirthless snort.

"We could call him DUMB-AS-SHITE, but I believe that nickname belongs to that Ron Weasley."

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

"Who goes there?" said Ragnok.

"Auror James Potter, here to see my friend Sirius Black with a prisoner."

"Enter!"

James entered, dragging a handcuffed Peter Pettigrew with him. "Siri, I've got the traitorous little rat."

"You haven't tarred and feathered him yet?"

"Nope. We tried him, and he's guilty. The Minister wrote up a document giving you an official exoneration."

An excited Sirius grabbed said document and read it. "This is wonderful, James! I knew you would come through for me! Why did you bring the rat here?"

"I flipped my coin. Heads, we toss him through the Veil. Tails, I bring him to you to decide his fate."

"Hmmm ... as much as I would enjoy killing you, Peter ... I think I have a better idea ... Your Majesty, how would you like a slave to work with the dragons?"

"I find it acceptable. What's the rationale?"

"The rationale is that his actions threatened the lives of three of your wealthiest clients."

Ragnok smiled a toothy grin that promised suffering for Pettigrew. "We will accept this most generous offer."

"Ding, dong, the rat is dead ... or he will wish he was," said Sirius. "Look at the bright side, Peter: I believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you ... stranger."

Listening to the cold, maniacal laughter that filled the room from human and goblin alike, Peter thought, "Oh, shit. Now I'll never get out of here ..."

He would not be surprised to find out how accurate that thought was after all ...

Author's Note: I enjoyed this chapter. Read and review, and a happy Thanksgiving 2013!

Smiles and laughter,

Loki Palmer