a/n

Raph, "Ok what kind laughing are we dealing with this week? Psychotic? ROLFINg? nose bleeding-

Charmy,*face on the floor sobbing"

Donnie, "O.o Well that cant' be good."

Chapter 24

One breath at a time

"I am leaving now."

The mass of rat huddled in the corner didn't so much as twitch at his words. Yoshi wouldn't of even known his father was there if his eyes had not been trained to catch subtleties in the dark. But there had been no light in this house for sometime now. None that Yoshi could remember

"Why are you telling me this?!" demanded a gravely deep tone, "you act as if I care."

"I was simply telling you. So that you wouldn't be concerned if you went to look for me later, father."

A harsh laugh, forced and heavy, a hand slapping the hard wooden wall of the corner he had chosen to hide in for months on end. The only reason that the elder Yoshi had not died at this point was the simple fact that Splinter came by 3 times a day to leave meals of rice and fish. But more often then none they were ignored, or thrown at his retreating back.

"What makes you think I care?! You're just like all the others, you flee from our clan in cowardice and fear you have been NOTHING but a splinter in my side-"

"NO." in the 20 years he had been the elder Yoshi's son, he had never interrupted his father. And judging by the bowl that had just barely missed his head, his father didn't appreciate it. He had been loyal ,"I am not a coward for leaving father. I am a coward for not leaving sooner. I will decide whether or not our clan survives. That is my right as your blood child. And I will decide that by what I see in the world. Not by you."

"COWARD!" shouted the bitter rat, "IMBELICE! WEAKLIGN! WORTHLESS CHILD-"

But the words melted over Yoshi, they did not give him the hesitation that perhaps his father had wanted, but empowerment. He bent at the waist to bow at his father one last time," Farewell father." before walking out the door, sliding open the long unused front door and stepping out.

There stood a young white rabbit, garbed in dark green robes and swords at his waist. He was the one who had come and asked for aid just a day ago. Offering a kind smile that the young rat was unused to, "Are you ready to leave Yoshi-san?"

The name made the rat flinched lightly, picking up his travel bag, "I fear that name belongs to the son of the Hamoto clan. Not to me any longer."

"That could be difficult, so what should I call you?"

The young rat thought a bit, looking back at the door he had closed one last time, 'You may call me Splinter. That will now be my name."

And so it was. Everyonce in a while, Dorinbo's words would slip and he would forgive him. The two traveled on to the army that was forming. The Rebellion at its start.

As said, it would be many more years before he set foot back in the Hamoto family home. Often he had nightmares of being trapped in that mountain enclosed land, the only sunlight coming from the opening at the top of the cavern. He would dream that the river that ran alongside the house had dried up, the bridge that lead to the outside tunnel broken and he would be trapped there forever.

Years later though, he found use for it again. When he and Tang-shen had found themselves expecting. He had taken his wife back ot that house, cleaning the house of his fathers remains and all remaining impurities .

So that it could finally be the home it was meant to be

(#)(#)(#)(#)

Memories are fickle tool. They are able to change entire point of views just by looking at them deeper. Diving in and exploring them can change hearts. Change battles. But they can also bring about the greatest joys and the deepest sorrows. The joys of sharing his life with a wonderful wife, the joys of shedding the name "Hamoto Yoshi" forever and becoming "Splinter." The joys and frustrations of fatherhood.

And then the anguish when it was all torn from him, in the claws of a greedy angry monster.

But now was not the time to dwells on such things. With one hand gripping the cane Michelangelo had carved for him, the other held out a wooden bowl filled with yams and delicious herbs. A sign of the versatility and wealth of the town. Putting it in the hands of a tired looking samurai. He was just one of the samurai now working on repairing their village. No war of pride or ordering, these samurai had willingly put down their swords and picked up their hammers. This was the only way Splinter could provide some help.

The tired samurai gave him a smile and a thank you. Splinter gave him a dip in his head of gratitude. This was the extent of his abilities to help in the effort. It wasn't too long after this when Dorinbo came by to shoo him away, saying that his worn body was too tired to continue. Leaving the old rat to start on his way back to the house his oldest and youngest son called home.

Old

When did Splinter become 'old'?

It had to be during the Rebellion. But he didn't feel 'young' when he was with his father either. His youth only happened in the brief time when he left home and when he became a father.

He could still remember his childhood home, one that he would take his wife back to share with him. He remembered his 'youth', sitting by his fathers side, the 'original' Hamato Yoshi' and watching the affairs of their ninja clan. His father always sat tall, his face never broke into a smile, not even when he felt pleasure. He remembered feeling the importance of being the Head's son. How his Uncles, Aunts and cousins would kneel before his father. All of which living under the roof. All by same rules and restrictions. And consequences for those actions., harsh consequences. No laugher, no joy. They had such a large clan.

They used to.

As the years went by, he would watch his family slowly die around him. In failed missions, in sickness grudges and anger against each other. Those were the only things that weren't punished. His father said that it was their way of weeding out the weak. He remembered each one of their funerals. The first funeral he could remember was his mothers, despite how young he had been. But that was because it was a funeral for his mother and his stillborn sibling. With each death, he remembered his father growing more irritated. More suspicious. More harsh. Till there was only two left. The training he had been going under would grow even harsher. To the point where he wouldn't see another person for weeks. Where he wouldn't eat or drink. All enforced by the 'Grandmaster'. Everyone had become their enemy, even allies were screamed away by a twisted and angry old man. All left his side, the ones who came from the 'outside world', their family who decided to try their aim for freedom. And , when the rebellion came up, and a white rabbit came to their home and asked for their help, his own son.

That's how he had met Dorinbo

That's how he left the dark world of he had been born in and embraced the light and all the wonders that came with it

And that's how he left his father, rotting in how own hatred. And when he returned so many years later, he came home to a corpse, rotted from death and gripping a knife in his hands.

And that's how Splinter cremated and gave his father his final respects.

Splinter spotted his sons house just as his lungs began to expand deeper. With that, he saw a familiar orange garbed kame sitting on the walkway (he wasn't sure how many orange yukata's Michelangelo had). His white hakamas-d knees drawn in to his chest with arms folded over them. He could see his maskless light blue concerned eyes. He could see something purple held to his chest, Splinter had a pretty good guess that it was the mask that Donatello had put over his eyes before allowing himself to go hostage in his place.

He remembered his eyes falling on the black leather garbed young man, with torn red mask trails running down his back. He knew that young man, the one who used to fall asleep almost as fast as he'd fall into childish rage.

Raphael.

His hands had begun to shake. The sight of his son in such sorrow. He remembered moving forward and placing his hand on his back. Then some epiphany had overcome the muscular teenager, sending him running off. A rashness and loudness to his voice that he suspected Raphael might accumulate while he had been raising him. Michelangelo finally saw him and gave him a small smile, that was probably more effort then it was worth

Splinter finally reached the walkway, climbing up the stairs and moving over to where his son sat, his knees finally giving in and allowing him to kneel. Down. Already his youngest son was taller then him, but just barely. It was something that assured Splinter of his health "Are you alright, my child?"

"Y-yeah I'm fine" but his tone said otherwise, he leaned his head down more to rest on his knees but his eyes stayed on Splinter " I don't remember you getting up this morning Master Splinter."

"I was up before you were," He didn't add the fact he had seen Michelangelo curled up Dorinbo's side while Dorinbo worked at his low table, his white furred hand reaching down every so often to stroke Michelangelo's' scalp or to make sure the child was completely covered with his blanket. Splinter found no hatred in these actions, only remorse and envy he had in their relationship. Nor could he blame his youngest son for seeking the comfort of his adopted father" I decided to put my skills in helping the mothers cooking meals. And what have you been doing this day?"

Michelangelo looked away from Splinter for a moment to look out to the horizon again. Splinter followed his gaze to the bridge that connected their village with the rest of the land. Where, not a full day ago, Michelangelo's brothers (Splinters oldest sons) had charged off in efforts to rescue Leonardo's' adopted brother and their other brother, Donatello. His other youngest son. Splinter reached down for the blanket that had fallen over the course of the day but went on forgotten and wrapped it around Michelangelo's shoulders. His youngest gave him a grateful smile, before leaning over and resting his head on Splinters shoulder. The old rat smiled and wrapped his arms around him. Leaning backwards to rest on the wall of the house. He couldn't deny the warmth in his chest when he son cuddled closer to his side. He found himself closing his eyes, allowing his mind to drift, to block out the anxiety and fear that came with his sons unknown fate, but rather in the moment that his youngest chose to trust in him. Even if it would only be this one time,

"They will be back soon, my child. I promise."

(#)(#)(#)(#)

Splinter heaved his bag higher up his back. Inside lay the gifts and treats he had gotten from his travels. It was the reason his trip had taken longer then it should of. But he had not been able to help himself. He wanted to see the looks on his growing families faces when they saw their gifts.

Family

He never thought the word would make him warm up so much.

He tended to think that it was easier to be happy now that his father lay in peace. Away so he couldn't harass the family he had created. He could also thank Tang Shen, when the two had found out about their first pregnancy , she had insisted they move back to his house. Splinter never could make himself feel comfortable in a large city or even in the small villages Dorinbo called home. Speaking of which, he had to make time to go see him. It had been far too long.

The tunnel opened and he found himself looking at the small valley he called home. The top opened to allow sun and warmth into their land. A garden situated to the left of the house to provide food and other necessities. His house had always been too big for his liking, then again, at one point it did house their entire clan. But with their first born on the way he had gone on through the closed off most of the house. . He climbed over the bridge and glanced down at the little boat at the shore. He had spent many hours in that little boat with his wife and two young sons, rowing up the river and around just to allow some fresh air. A fond smile formed on his face when he remember the last time they went out. Raphael had fallen asleep at his feet the moment they had set out. Leonardo had leaned over the side to touch the water, giggling when the water splashed up to his face. He would have been worried had Tang-Shen had not been there holding on to him, whispering things into the two year olds ears that made Leonardo laugh even louder, curling up in her lap. When Splinter would ask later what she had said, she would smile and say, 'That's between a mother and her son.'

Splinter climbed up the stairs to the front entrance, slipping off his sandals in the front hallway before opening the secondary door, "Taidama!" he called looking down the hallway, where were-

Before he could react, two masses slammed into his legs. The sudden force sending the rat falling flat on his side with a large crash, his hands going up to his fact in meager protection, "boys!" he called, but the two children were already on top of him, as though he were a mass of laundry rather then their tired father "A red clothed stomach suddenly slammed against his face, hugging tightly and gripping his ears, "Raphael!" he grabbed the one year olds sides, trying desperately to tear him off, "release! Release-I ask for mercy! I ask for mercy!" he begged over the loud laughter ( and kicks to his bones). Not so much for the 2 babies but to the woman he knew was behind the unprovoked attack.

Splinter caught glimpse of a familiar orange kimono kneeling down by them a dark blue obi around her stomach that matched her dark blue eyes reflected in their oldest son. Green three fingered hands grabbing Raphael and tickling his side, his tiny hands released Splinters ears and pulling him away. Leonardo from his tail. Their mother smiling down at the babies in her arms, '"good boys! You got your daddy good!" her beak giving them each a rewarding peck to the forehead before setting them back down, "Go play boys!

Leonardo grabbed Raphael's tiny hand and the two ran off as fast as their stubby legs could carry. Splinter watched them go before smiling up at the kame, whose black hair was tied back in a braid and a smirking smile, "Might I ask what I did to provoke such a violent attack?"

"Simple, you took too long and we grew impatient."

Splinter smiled back at her, "I pray to the spirits that none of our children adopt your feisty playfulness, tsuma. I fear I would not survive."

"You would be fine. Splinter-chan." a gentle hand stroking over his brow and a kiss planted to his cheek, "Okaerinasai Splinter-chan."

(#)(#)(#)(#)

Splinter had thought that the greatest pain came from the flesh, from a blade digging into your bone or fire searing your skin. Maybe perhaps the loss of a limbwoudl be the greatest. But now those pains felt nothing to Splinter. His years at war were next to painless compared to this.

The pain of holding a newborn doomed for death.

The tiny baby in his arms, wrapped in a blanket. So still, so pale. His wife lay resting, in bed. Splinter could not blame her. They had no indication that she had been pregnant from the first place. There had been no signs and no change. But then about a month ago, they had suspicions that she might have been pregnant. That perhaps they were in the first month of development.

Then the labor came.

Far more painful then the last two. Even though Splinter knew all of kame pregnancies at this point. His wife had told them that kame's stayed pregnant for about 5 months. Then the mother would give birth to a egg that would then begin to hatch when delivered.

Splinter remembered the new egg, holding it very carefully, it had barely filled his two hands. He had set it down. His wife watching.

And they had waited

And waited.

His wife had assured him that sometimes the process took longer. Tang-Shen had told him that it was all about waiting.

Leonardo's egg had taken about 2 minutes.

Raphael had hardly been set down before large cracks had formed in his already large egg.

This new egg took a whole day. Till Splinter finally saw the tiniest of cracks go over the surface of the egg. IT was only then that Tang-Shen assured him it was ok to help. He had been careful to help press his thumb over the cracks, finally hearing the sound of weak crying. He had grabbed the nearest blanket lifted the new child into his arms.

The small child

So small.

His wife had next to demanded to see their newest son. But he had seen the horror in her eyes. That was enough for Splinter to knew that this size was not normal among her kind. But she had put on a smile, her face exhausted as she had begun to fall asleep, telling him to keep the baby warm. That he would be fine.

They both knew better though. Splinter had been through this same thing with his still born brother.

He knew this baby was not long for this world.

Born too early

Born too soon.

Splinter tucked the blankets tighter around the baby. His son should not die without feeling the warmth of the sun on his soft skin. He made sure the baby was bundled up tightly before walking out of the bed room. He was grateful that his sons were still asleep at this point. SO he could put his full focus on his newest baby.

Splinter stepped out onto the walkway, despite the early months, the sun was warm and bright. He moved to sit on the walkway and drew the blanket away from the babies face. The warm sun shining on his olive skin. The baby moved his head lightly but otherwise lay still. The only signs of life coming from the weak breathing that left his lips. Splinter did not know how much longer the baby had. But he would be with him till then

His poor son

His poor baby

"Daddy?"

Splinter flinched lightly at the sound of his oldest son. His used one arm to hold the baby and the other to wipe his eyes of the tears he knew were forming before looking back at Leonardo. The blue garbed 4 year old was wiping his eyes tiredly, a sign from the nap he just had before yawning and looking at Splinter again,, pointing at the bundle in his arms, 'What dat?"

Splinter thought about sending Leonardo away to resume his nap with Raphael. But he thought against it. It would be better for him to see his new baby brother now then later when Splinter would have to perform the babies last funeral rites. The thought bringing tears back to his eyes. Oh Spirits he did not want to have to bury his baby. His heart was already breaking from the thought alone. He wiped his eyes again before gesturing for his oldest, "Come and see, my son."

Leonardo smiled before running over, kneeling by him and peering at the bundle. His smile growing wider with surprise, "Itsa puppy!"'

Maybe it was the stress of the last day, but Splinter couldn't help but laugh. It did wonders for his aching heart, "This is your new baby brother Leonardo. He is very very new."

"New?" that word had no meaning for Leonardo. But he leaned over again, smiling again, "He cute."

"That is right my son. He is very cute. But he will only be here for a short time."

The smile on Leonardo's face fell, looking back to the frail baby before looking back up to Splinter with concern, "Why? Why cant he stay?"

Now came the difficult part. How was he to tell his son why his baby brother couldn't stay with them? How could he explain death?, "your new brother is very small, he can not stay here very long because of this. But I promise, Leonardo, that the place he is going-" Splinters voice cracked tears burned in his eyes for a moment. He found himself taking a deep breath to keep his form, "I promise he is going to a place where he can be well. Where he can be very happy."

"Can I go wit him? So he wont be lonely?"

"I assure you, he will not be lonely where he is going."

"Can't 'e be happy 'ere? Wit me?"

"Leonardo we can not be selfish now." though Splinter found himself wishing the same thing, as he had been praying for hours about, "It is not our choice whether or not he stays here. We have no control over it."

But the answer didn't seem to satisfy the child. Leonardo moved up onto his knees to look down at the baby again, probably wondering where the baby was going where he couldn't follow before looking back up to Splinter, "Can- I hold him?" he asked, "Pease pease?"

Splinter was hesitant. Not willing to let the baby out of his arms for anything. But he looked at his oldest son and saw the pleading in his eyes, the begging, "Alright my son. But I must ask you to sit cross-legged."

Leonardo's face lit up again, he moved back onto his tail and crossed his legs in before holding his hands out with a bright tooth gapped smile. Splinter looked down at the baby for a moment longer before reaching forward and puttign the baby in Leonardo's crosslegs. His oldest son smiled brighter as he reached down and nuzzled the babies face with his beak, a loving manner he had no doutedly picked up from his mother. His dark blue eyes looking back to him "What his name?"

Name? Splinter hadn't actually thought of that yet. The discovery of Tang-Shens' pregnancy and the early delivery mixed in with Splinter preparation of the babies death had taken away all joys of naming, even now he could not think of one to even guess, '"He does not have one yet."

"Can I gib him one?""

Splinter tried to think of a reason to say no. But they all fell away, "As long as I approve of it, you may name him." it might bring Leonardo comfort in later years to know he had named his little lived brother.

Leonardo's 4 year old face scrunched up slightly, obviously thinking hard. Splitner could not even begin to fathom the names he was thinking of, " Can I name him Tiny?"

"My son, that is not a good name."

"Baby?"

"I implore you to try again."

"Smelly? He kind of smells."

"My son that is how all babies smell, I fear that that is not a good name either."

Leonardo looked back up at Splinter with obvious frustration. He thought his oldest son might give up their game. But he looked down at the baby as though studying him the best way his mind could before another big smile grew on his face, "'oni!"

"oni?" Splitner repeated

"Like mommy's broder, onnie!"

It took Splinter a bit to realize that Leonardo was referring to the stories Tang-Shen often told him of her clan. She had mentioned a brother. What was his name? "Donatello?"

'Yeh dat one!"

Splinter wasn't sure how Leonardo had managed to remember that name. But it was obviously enough to make him very excited, he found himself smiling back "I supposed his name is Donatello now."

Leonardo giggled with glee, his face reaching down the nuzzle his again, ''O'nnie can you stay pease? Pease? Wit me and Mommy and Daddy and Waphie?" Splinter wanted to remind him that the baby wasn't' going to be there much longer but he didn't have it in him, "I pomise oo'd be 'appy 'ere too. I p'omise to always wuve you. I pomise to share my sweets wit you. I pomise to always be a good big budder if you stay. Pease stay fo' me?" his face reaching down and kissing Donatello very gently between his eyes.

Splinter squeezed his eyes shut. His heart beating sending new waves of grief through him. He should not of let Leonardo see Donatello. He should of just told Leonardo to go back to bed to spare him the pain of loosing the little brother he was begging to stay. He had failed to spare his son the pain of loosing his brother as he had with his own-'

A small breath filled the air. Splinter found his mental flagellation at a half by opening his eyes. The tiny babies eyes had begun to quiver, slowly his eyelids separating to reveal milky newborn eyes. Colored light brown , looking right up at Leonardo. His lips quivering lightly till they reflected the smile he was getting. , 'He likes me daddy!" Leonardo beamed, "He likes me!"

"Of course he does Leonardo, your brother loves you very very much."

"Does dat mean he's gonna stay?"

On came the question again. Had it been his own father, the elder Yoshi would of just told him the baby was dead to begin with without giving him hope. No remorse, no sorrow. Splinter wanted to tell Leonardo the baby still couldn't stay. But his eyes fell on the newly named 'Donatello" his bright face still smiling up at Leonardo's with only the love a baby could show. He was sure the newborn had a little bit more color too. Whatever the reason, it took away the fear that came with the child's birth. It gave him hope

"It means he's going to try my son."

(#)(#)(#)(#)

The fire rushed around Splinter like the current of a raging sea. He could feel the bare skin bubbling under the heat. But his fingers remained tight on the chains swinging in his hands. His stance strong, even as his hidden enemy slithered around him, the hissing escaping his foes lips resembling the laughing of a mad man. He could hear the cracking of timbers, his house giving in to the damage sustained in their battle.

The only comfort given to him was the fact he had seen his sons escape the hosue just a few minutes before hand. The large form begin to rise, its legless armless body risign up ,its massive head blocking out the moon and casting Splinter into darkness. But his heart was steady, for he had seen this massive form before

Lord Hebi.

The 'laughing' continued, its massive head suddenly looking up and away from Splinter. Despite all his instincts he followed Hebi's' gaze. His heart al but stopping when he saw the familiar orange yukata, hanging off the back of his oldest brother, Leonardo running as fast as his 7 year old legs could carry him.

The laughing turned louder, to the point of hysterics, the massive form throwing itself forward with a snap of jaws. Splinter slid his foot across

A anger boiling up in his gut like spirit of a flame spirit, the scythe releasing from his hands and swinging through the air, the satisfying sound of tearing flesh had screaming pain reached his ears, he twisted his feet, tightening the chain around his waist, despite the way the rusty metal dug into his hips and pulled hard, "RUN MY SON!' he shouted as loud as eh could. The only way he could spur his steps-

He had lost his mother

He had lost his brother

He had lost his friends in the Rebellion

He had lost the woman who gave him hope

His teeth gritted hard, yanking on the chain with both hands, a roar escaping his lips 'YOU SHALL NOT HAVE MY SONS TOO!" he was not yelling to Hebi, he was crying to the spirits, to the universe. To everything that swore to tear him apart and break him into pieces.

Suddenly the weight on the end of the chain lessened, a mass of body rammed into his, crushing his body against the hard earth-

(#)(#)(#)(#)

Splinter slammed into the walkway from his sitting position, a smaller form bouncing against him with the energy and audacity of a bouncing puppy. A orange yukata blocking his blurry still sleep filled vision as he struggled to comprehend this action," Michelangelo-"

"THEREHOME!MASTERSPLINTERTHEIREHOMEICANSEETHEMFROMHERECANYOUSEETHEMTHEYR'ERIGHTTHERETHEY'REHOMEI'MSOEXCITEDMASTERSPLINERCANYOUSEETHEM?!THEY'REHOMETHEY'REHOME-"

Even though Splinter wasn't accustomed to this 'speed speak' he did get one meaning form this, from looking from Michelangelo's' face to the horizon and notching two horses coming over the bridge to a group of villagers, all cheering and clapping, some of them were even whistling.

Home

His sons were HOME-

He felt his arm being yanked over a thin green neck. Suddenly his weight was shifted his weight and he was all but dragged down the hill, his cane striking the ground urgently, "MY SON, MY SON SLOW DOWN! MY SON I CAN NOT WALK THAT FAST-" his arm was suddenly let free, Splinter twisted his legs and slammed his cane to the ground to slow to a sudden and heavy halt. His breath coming in in heaves as his legs shook. Being chained in a castle dungeon was NOT the best way to keep up ones strength.

He watched Michelangelo push his way through the crowd, now parted his could see Leonardo and Usagi getting down from the same horse. His oldest sons blue kimono was missing but both boys faces lit up at the youngest brother suddenly grabbing them both and hugging them tightly. Splinter could not hear the words they were saying but there was no doubt in Splinters mind that his youngest had succumb to tears in his brothers arms. A deep warm feeling overwhelmed his chest. He also had no doubt that Usagi and Leonardo were offering the youngest words of comfort in his difficult wait.

His eyes went to the other horse ( he could see Dorinbo now crushing the two in his arms, making the villagers laugh). The muscular form of Raphael sliding off the his sweating tired horse. But one hand stayed up on the person who had been riding behind him. A small green skinned form wrapped in Leonardo's kimono. When Raphael was off he gently pulled on the form and caught him in his arms.

Donatello

Raphael's eyes fell to the child for a moment. Splinter could see that his fears for his smallest (obviously smallest) son had come true. His arms and form were thin, his skin was still lacking in the healthy hue his brothers had. Even so he saw some of the villagers turn to them, obviously asking if they required some assistance. But Raphael's lip curled up lightly in a , Splinter could assume, growl. He began to walk away from the crowd and up towards the hill that lead to the place they 'lived.'

Splinter raised his hand, but it fell back to his side. The warmth that had consumed him over his sons arrival began to fade. The truth now obvious. The one thing he had feared almost as much as them dying off.

They did not need him

(#)(#)(#)(#)

So Leo knew he had seen his before. Only he was sure that last time it had been HIM stuck in Mikey's chokehold while the orange kame slept peacefully. Only this time the victim was Usagi. And his poor adopted brother was so exhausted that he just fell asleep with Mikey's' beak pressed into the side of his head. THAT was going to leave a imprint.

Leo stroked Mikey's scalp lightly. Mikey's mouth opening a bit and letting out a bubbly light snore. Well, at least he and Raph had SOMETHING in common before getting up. The chill over his arm reminding him he had given his kimono top to his smallest brother to keep him warm. He knelt by his trunk and lifted the drawer up to pull out a random kimono, pulling it over his bare chest. He could feel a black obi and tied it off behind him. He was just happy to have hakamas on. He moved to the door and slid it open.

He wasn't sure why, but Master Splinter didn't sleep in their house but instead chose to sleep at Dorinbo's. When Leo had asked him why he just gave Leo a sad smile.

He would find out later.

Leo picked up the plates that had been left over from Mikey's' impromptu feast. He guessed if ANYONE had to do it. He moved outside, over to the well and picked up the bucket, allowing it to hit to the bottom, the rope tugging lightly suggesting it was done. With a small smile he pulled it back up and went over to the walk way, kneeling down and pulling up the sleeves of his now dark blue kimono top. He dipped his hands into the water and began to run them up his arms. Trying to get the grime of Akai forest off his hands. He closed his eyes in almost lull, allowing the cold liquid to run over and over his hands methodically, gently moving the bowls around so the water kept bouncing around-

"ninja sukamu."

Leo's breath hitched. Again. it was coming again. He knew that voice-

"ninja sukamu-"

"Enough." he growled out through tense lips, "I'm sick of you haunting me you coward." he rinsed off a plate before setting it off to the side, "I'm not a ninja you idiot." he continued, " I did what I had to do for my grandfather-"

"And me?'

Leo froze again, the bowl in his hands tight under horrified fingers

"you killed me too Leo." he knew that silky next to greasy voice. The voice of the bully who harassed his little brother for years.

Daisuke.

"Are you going to make up excuses for killing me too?"

"Go away."

"I'm not a assassin LEO. I was a villager. I simply was at the wrong place and I DIED for it. I DIED for your mistakes."

"GO AWAY."

"You've dishonored your FAMILY. Leo." his voice was just as harsh and rude as Leo remembered, "How will they feel when they find out what you've done?! Your father will disown you. Dorinbo Dorinbo will never call you his son again."

"Shut up-'

"they might even commit seppuku in shame because of YOUR actions-

"shut up."'

"Murderer."

"Shut up."

"MURDERER!'

"I SAID SHUT UP!" the sound of shattering clay filled the air, pain shot through his hand making him open his eyes, the bucket water was now red and thick, he drew his hands out to realized he had accidentally broken a plate, a deep cut ran diagonally down his hand.

"Your hands are covered in red Leonardo."

Leo squeezed his eyes shut, reaching down to his hakamas and tearing the edge off them, wrapping the blue fabric tightly around his hand. Smothering the blood trying to escape as a angry sob escaped his lips-'

"Leo?"

Leo froze for a moment before looking behind him. The outside door to Raph and Donnie's room was open. The form of Raph (finally out of his NightWatcher gear and into his normal clothes) his amber eyes looking at him curiously, if not tiredly, 'What are you doing?"

"Dishes." he said simply, "you missed quite the feast."

"Wazznt hungry." with that he put his head back in. Leo found himself getting back up and following him, poking his head into the room. Raph was kneeling by the sleeping form of Donnie, it looked like the red masked kame had taken all of his blankets and piled them onto the purple masked kame, the purple mask that Mikey had given back was tucked under Donnie's sleeping sweaty head. Leo looked back over to Raph. He could see the imprints in the tatami floors from where he had been kneeling, "You ok Raph?

""S'little tired…izbeen a ruff coup'e of dayz."

"True." Leo moved over and knelt by Raph's form. His eyes were almost swollen shut but had a firm stare on their sleeping brother. The only indication his eyes were even open were from the small yellow lights that were his eyes. Leo didn't know why he was going to risk his life but he found himself putting his arm around Raph's shoulders. "if you want to sleep, I don't mind watching over Donnie."

"NO." Raphs lips barely twitched, "nu."

"Raph-"

"Ebbery time I 'eave his side…sumtin' bad happen's. not risking it."

Leo wasn't' quite sure Raph even knew what he was saying, but decided to push on, 'Donnie would feel bad if he knew you were this exhausted. Do you really think that's going to help him feel better?"

Leo could hear the faint sound of Raph growling., his form tipping over lightly, Leo thought he was going to check on Don's blanket when Leo noticed that his entire weight was tipping forward. Leo's hand shot out and grabbed Raph by the shoulders before yanking him back, sending the two slamming back into the floor. Leo looked back up to Donnie but the child was still fast asleep if his wheezing was anything to go by. He looked back over to Raph who smirked a bit sheepishly 'Ok so-im a 'it yired."

"A bit?," he smiled lightly, Raph's accent was hard enough to understand when he was awake. This was next to impossible, "Why don't you go sleep in the living room? I'll sit with Donnie,"

Raph's amber eyes looked to the child for a moment and Leo thought he might reject his offer. But another yawn consumed him and he half nodded half groaned. Leo gently took his arm and put it over his shoulder, he braced his leg to stand up but the weight of Raph almost broke his back with a devastating groan. Gratefully he felt Raph put his muscles to good use and rise with him, "Sorry Raph." he gritted his teeth , "I guess I've never really tried to pick you up. Donnie's just so light-"

"Tell me 'bout it. Like I ever need anyone to remind me. You should hear Donnnnie lecture me when he checks my weight. I tell'm is all muscle . He says he doesn't know how I manage to float when I swim. "

"You really are sleepy aren't you?"

"Shut it."

Leo smirked lightly, leaning over and almost dropping Raph onto the futon , he winced lightly but Raph rolled over onto his stomach with another loud snore. "dntt foorgit da candles light'm up ifee stahppsss…." but the rest of Raph's' sentence was drowned out by a heavy snore. Indicating his final plummet into sleep.

"Candles, right." Leo patted Raph on the head sadly before moving back to the other room and closing the door behind him, "You're big brother can be kind of silly when he's sleepy Otouto." he smiled down to his sleeping brother. He moved down to his knees. He looked to the bowl of water by his head and placed the cloth back in before putting it on Dons' forehead again, his thumb caressing his burning skin, "Just like when you were a baby, Except you never had a fever this bad. But I guess that just means your body can handle it ." he pulled the blanket up further till it covered Don's chin "one week. I found you and Raph one week ago. Did you know that?" he asked the sleeping child. Our father is sleeping in the next house, he hasn't even heard you talk yet little brother. He's probably been waiting for that longer then anyone. And I still don't know what your firs word is." he smiled lightly, "I'll get Raph to tell me later when he's sleepy again." his hand moved up to cup the side of Donnie's face lightly, the warmth from his skin would normally make him upset but his little brother just looked so peaceful "You were so brave, you saved Mikey, Usagi." he put his hand on don's plastron watching Don's face. He just looked so peaceful so quiet-

Leo blinked slightly, where had the wheezing gone? he realized his hand wasn't rising and falling as it had been. He moved up lightly, his other hand going up to dons shoulder, "Donnie?" he whispered, not wishing to scare him. But the child didn't react to his voice. He waited, he watched Don's chest hoping to see him suck in oxygen, expel the air in there in them.

No movement

No Breathing

"Don." he said a bit louder, rising higher on his knees to grip both of his shoulders, "Donnie this isn't funny." he watched Donnie's face, hoping that the child had woken up and was simply playing a game. But his face was unmoving. He still lay like the dead ,"DON." he shook him harder, enough to make his head roll around but it lay still again, Leo quickly lowered his head to Donnie's chest. There. A heartbeat it was so settle, but it was there. Slowing a bit at a time. His own began to race, hammering in his hest so hard it went through his limbs. Shaking him with the force of a earthquake, what was he supposed to do-

The candles

What freaking candles!?

Leos' eyes fell on the bag that Raph had brought with him. He threw himself over and dumped it on the floor, a package wrapped in paper he untied the strings, mass of black candles rolling out. He snatched one out with the metal flint Donnie made, he went back over to Donnie's side. How the hell did Donnie get these things to work!? The wheel! He just had to spin in. frantically he twitched his thumb against it over and over, the fears dripping around it, 'WORK DAM YOU!" he screamed

Suddenly the flint sparked and the end of the candle was lit a musky thick dust filled the air for a split second, the sound of painful gasping filling the air, Donnie rising off his futon into a sitting position, doubling over and hacking into his knees, getting out all the dead air that had been inside of him. Leo ran over to the candle holder on the wall and set the candle in place before running over and sliding over and grabbed Donnie by the shoulders, wrapping his arms around him. He felt warm tears falling on his kimono, knowing they came from his hacking little brother. Leo looked by Don's pillow, just like Raph to leave a cup of medicine incase Donnie needed it. He put his arm around Don's shoulders to support him in a sitting positing against his chest, his free hand picking up the yunomi and held it to Donnie, "Open up Donnie. "he whispered as calmly as he could with a thick pounding head. Donnie's' shaking hands going up to take the yunomi, but his half sleeping form almost made him spill it with his heavy coughing. Leo quickly put his hands around Don's in support, guiding it up to his lips. Carefully allowing the medicine to slide down his throat without choking him. It took a bit, but when the yunomi was empty Leo all but threw it to the side, wrapping Donnie back up in his arms and holding him tightly. His arms shaking as his stomach churned. His breathing coming in harsh and hard as he fought back all the sickness and emotions threatening to take over him. He felt a large three fingered hand touch his shoulder lightly. The muffled voice of Raphael speaking to him. He had apparently drawn a crowd with his desperation. Oh spirits- he had to take control. He felt his stomach lurch lightly as cold sweat poured down his face. The sweat began to mix in with his tears. Don had stopped, he had almost-he had felt Donnie's HEART slow down-

He felt a small hand grip his bicep he thought maybe Mikey had slipped forward to try and comfort him. No he couldn't cry in front of his aka-chan-

Then a voice came out, from the little brother with his face pressed into his chest,

"-N-iki."

Niki? What the hell was a ni-ki? Did Donnie have brain damage? Oh shell, what if he couldn't talk right anymore-

"An-I…..ni-ki="

Leo shook his head from side to side, "Save your breath Donnie, please. don't waste them on me."

His tiny hand gripped his bicep harder, shaking from the effort, "I'-I'm sorry I-should of told you. It-it happens, I-I can't con-control whe-when it ha-happens. I'm sorry -"

"It HAPPENS?" he thought angrily, this wasn't just tripping or cutting a skin, this was breathing. He fought angry tears.

No

Not with Donnie, but with himself. Angry tears, relieved sighs escaped him, his forehead pressing against Donnie's hot one, "You're alright." he raised his head to press against Donnie's before holding him tightly in his arms, His body moving Don's in a gentle rocking motion. He felt Don's face press tighter into his chest, a tiny whisper escaping."

"I'm sorry Aniki."

Aniki.

It was enough to stop his shaking, his stomach stopped its painful attempt to heave itself inside out. The cold sweat stopped their downfall, who the hell was Aniki-

Wait.

Leo looked back down to Donnie, but his little brother was already fast asleep again. He had called Leo Aniki. Memories swimming over him, as a child, sitting with his Otouto, trying to get him to say that simple word.

Aniki

Donnie had called him Aniki.

Another hand fell on his shoulder, another attempt to get him to talk to the group. But Leo shook his head from side to side again to shake the tears away as he held Donnie tighter to him. He never wanted to let go of him again.

He was never going to let this happen again.

He didn't care what it took.

He didn't care what he had to do.

a/n

Taidama: I'm home

Tsuma-wife

okaerinasai: Welcome home

ninja sukamu: Ninja scum

Aniki: Big brother

Charmy *blob*

Donnie," Wow she really is sad."

Raph, "Should wedo something

Mikey, "I'll handle it!" *drops blanket over Charmy's blobbing corpse, "Huh, I guess this is the last chapteroh well!"

Leo, "you wish maybe we should get another writer"

Donnie, "Oh she'll be fine. just give it time. Either that or i guess this story will never get updated"

Leo, "Strangely enough I"m torn."