A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the all the reviews, follows and favourites, but I am actually thinking of quitting this story. I'm not really sure about it any more. I think it should have remained a one shot. Sorry :(
Chapter 4: The Meeting
Santana slowly walked up the steps to Rachel's door, thinking several times about just turning around and leaving. She honestly did not know what she was going to say to the diva. Reaching the door, she hesitated. Her nerves getting the better of her as she raised her hand up to knock on the door. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she sharply rapped at the door.
After what seemed like forever, a tall man opened the door and looked down at her. "H-Hello Mr. Berry, I…um…my name is Santana Lopez". Can I s-speak with Rachel please?"
"Yes, I am aware who you are Ms. Lopez." he replied not showing any emotion.
Santana gulped. Nervously chewing at her bottom lip, awaiting LeRoy's response, who merely gave her the once over before stepping aside to allow her inside. "Who is it, daddy" Rachel's voice rung through the air. "Santana stopped by to see you, Rachel" he said looking over at his daughter. "San…Santana? What are you doing here?"
Santana was stunned into silence. Standing before her was Rachel Berry clad in a pink short shorts and a wife beater. She looked so beautiful. Santana let her eyes hungrily trail all over the other girl's body, completely forgetting the other occupants in the room, namely LeRoy Berry. She unconsciously licked her lips as her eyes landed on Rachel's seemingly endless, long, toned legs.
She was so captivated by the sight before her that she didn't even notice that Rachel was now only inches away from her. Santana? Hello? Rachel called as she snapped her fingers in front of girl's lust filled eyes. SANTANA LOPEZ!
Santana's eyes immediately snapped up to meet the shorter brunette's whose jaw was clenched angrily.
"Huh?" She said feeling a hot blush creep up her cheek.
"I said what are you doing here?"
Santana shook her head as she tried to clear her thoughts. "I uh came to apologize to you" she said as she fidgeted with her hands. Rachel turned to her father, who was glaring daggers at Santana, "Daddy would it be okay if I spoke with Santana in private please?" Santana looked up surprised and turned to see LeRoy looking at Rachel as if she'd grown a second head. "Please?"
"Are you sure pumpkin?" Rachel nodded. "Okay. I'll be in the kitchen preparing dinner if you need me".
"Thanks daddy", she said kissing his cheek. He shared a look with Santana before turning to leave. Rachel led them into the living room where the two girls sat down in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.
Santana heaved a heavy sigh. "Rachel, I…" Santana started. Rachel watched with rapt attention as she waited for Santana to continue.
Clearing her throat, Santana started again. "Look you have every right to hate me, hell I hate me for all the things I put you through ever since we started school, and I know coming here would not change anything between us –
"Santana I…"
"No Rachel, please let me finish before you say anything okay" Rachel nodded her head for Santana to continue.
"Okay" Santana said, exhaling sharply.
A few minutes ticked by and still she could barely form words. It was a lot harder than she thought. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair.
"I want you to…no I need you to know how sorry I am. I cannot apologize to you enough for the shit I've done. But if I could, I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I am so sorry for the way I treated you Rachel, for the names calling, the slushies and especially for sleeping with Finn. Santana said in one breath.
"Why did you do all those things to me Santana?" Rachel asked after a moment of silence, a high amount of hurt and anger evident in her voice. "Do you hate me that much?!"
"You honestly thought I hated you?"
"Yes! Is there another explanation as to why you have constantly tortured me for the past two years Santana?!" Rachel screamed.
"God Rachel, I don't hate you, sure you can be a bit annoying and selfish at times, but I never hated you. If anything I was jealous of you. You're so confident and sure of yourself and I resented that. But most of all, I hated that I could not hold your hands or walk you to class or even tell you how much I love you. So I looked for ways to hurt you, to make you feel how I felt and for that I am deeply sorry."
There was a long pause. The silence was becoming unbearable as Rachel sat there motionless. She didn't say anything. She didn't cry, didn't smile. "Rachel…? Rachel please, just say something" Santana pleaded with her.
"I don't know what you want me to say Santana", Rachel supplied after a few minutes.
"Tell me to leave, tell me how much you hate me, forgive me, don't forgive me, love me! Santana secretly thought. Just say something, anything. I cannot handle you not talking to me. It feels like you're shutting me out and I can't bare it. No matter what I did to you before, you would always try to reach out to me. God I love you so much, it hurts. Just please, talk to me damn it." Santana cried.
Rachel's eyes widened. "Y-you love me?" she asked in shock and clearly confused.
Santana nodded her head before she repeated the words. "Yeah I love you. I've been in love with you for as long as I could remember. I can't pinpoint the exact moment I fell for you. But I can't remember a time when I didn't love you." Every time I watched Finn hurt you and I saw you cry, I swear I never wanted to kill someone so bad, like I wanted to kill him. Hell I would have killed him already, but I know how much you hate violence.
"At first, I thought it was a silly crush. But let's face it Rach, you're amazing, and stunningly beautiful, sweet, caring, kind and so damn smart. Anybody would be lucky to have you. I wanted to tell you, but I was so afraid, afraid of rejection. So I lied to myself, to you and to everyone and I pretended…pretended that I hated you, only to mask the pain I felt inside, because I know you could never feel the same. I did everything possible to take my mind off you, but nothing seemed to work!"
And I just couldn't lie to you any more, so when I got my new phone I wanted to talk to you. But I didn't know how, so I texted you. It was a lot easier because I was hidden and I could tell you exactly how I felt without repercussion. But then you found out it was me. I tried to call you, but you ignored my calls and it hurt. It hurt more than you could ever know. I felt rejected, the same rejection I was so afraid of.
Rachel shook her head. NO YOU'RE LYING! You hate me Santana! You've tortured me practically every day for the past two years and now what? Am I suppose to believe that you love me, that you've loved me for all these years. Do you take me for a fool Santana? I'm not stupid. Please don't sit here and lie to my face. Rachel said.
Rachel, please believe me, Santana said reaching out to take her hand, but the brunette pulled away from her. "Rach please" she begged. "You believed me once remember?" Santana asked desperately. "When everyone assumed that I was the one who leaked the set list to Sue, you were the only one who believed me when I said I didn't, so why can't you believe me now?"
"I would not come here today if I was lying. I would not have sent you that text message if it was a joke. I would not do that to you Rach. I know you have no reason to trust me, but please believe me. I would not come here and pour my heart out to you, making a complete fool of myself, because everyone knows that the only person you would ever love and want is Finn" Santana said gloomily.
The air in the room was filled with tension; tension and awkwardness and tears were falling from both their eyes.
"Rachel, will Santana be joining us for dinner?" LeRoy called out, unbeknownst to the awkward tension between the two girls.
Santana looked up hopeful, only to have her hopes crushed in an instant. "No daddy, Santana is having dinner with her abuela tonight". Rachel lied.
"Okay pumpkin."
"I guess I should probably go now. Goodbye Rachel." Santana stood, glumly heading for the door.
"Santana wait". Rachel called out to her.
"Look Rach, you don't have to say anything okay. I know I've hurt you and like I said I don't expect anything to change between us, I just needed you to know how I felt and how sorry I am."
Rachel grabbed the Latina by her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you Santana. I'm not ready to forgive you just yet. Rachel said softly, more kindness in her voice than Santana felt she deserved. But I don't hate you and maybe one day soon we can be friends"
"Yeah, I'd like that" Santana instantly replied. "Goodnight Rachel" she said as she pulled back from the hug, instantly missing the warm feeling Rachel gave her.
Rachel leaned up and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Goodnight Santana" she breathed.
Rachel watched as Santana got safely to her car before she closed the door, slumping down by the door. Wow! She thought.
** Rachel's Pov **
"Pumpkin, are you alright" I heard daddy asked. Yes…no…I don't know. Santana admitted that she's in love with me.
"I heard…I uh meant to say oh really?"
"Really daddy, you eavesdropped on my conversation with Santana, after I asked for privacy?"
"I wanted to make sure you were okay pumpkin. You guys were screaming a lot, so I peeked on you a couple of times, only to ensure your safety." LeRoy replied sheepishly.
"Are you okay though?" my dad asked
"I don't know how to feel daddy. I thought she hated me. The girl who tortured me for the past two years is actually in love with me? It's so strange. But when we were talking tonight I saw a completely different side to her. There was this warmth in her gaze when she looked at me and a softness in her voice I've never heard".
She can be so sweet…well at least with Brittany and funny and let's be honest she's incredibly hot. LeRoy raised an eyebrow at his daughter. I may have never considered dating her daddy, but I am not blind. But I am straight, I like guys, I love Finn right?.
Groaning in frustration I leant forward, allowing my head to fall into my hands. This is insane! Santana's in love with me?! I thought in disbelief. Do I have feelings for tormentor? Daddy I think I am losing my mind. How is this even possible? Question upon question tumbled through my head as I tried to process this completely foreign concept.
"Daddy, I think I am going to bed."
"But you have not had dinner yet sweetheart"
"I'm not hungry. I just want to go and sleep. It's been a really long day. Goodnight daddy."
I slowly climbed the steps to my room, as the events of today replayed in my mind. I entered my room, still in a daze. I walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge. My eyes were wide in shock as my brain fully processed the events of today. Santana Lopez was GAY! She was gay and in love with me. Oh sweet Barbra Streisand. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.