They're leaning back in their chairs as Sanji clears away the empty plates, and Zoro is tuning out the idle conversation, arms crossed comfortable over his chest, and slouching so low that Nami wonders if he's going to slide right under the table.

She's not quite sure how he's able to sleep with the racket outside, as Masira and Shoujou's crews hoot and holler and generally make nuisances of themselves while they escort the Straw Hats towards the location of the Knock Up Stream. It's possible that he's still sleeping off the beating he took at the bar, since they spent all night chasing around that damn bird and then waiting for Luffy to return from kicking Bellamy's ass.

Eyes closed, Zoro's head leans slightly to one side, and his breathing deepens unmistakably on its way to a low snore. Usopp eyes the swordsman, badly tempted, and idly flicks a spitball that bounces off Zoro's temple, and Chopper erupts into giggles which he quickly stifles with both hooves over his mouth.

Nami opens her mouth to reprimand them, when Zoro suddenly bolts upright with a muffled yelp, sending both younger pirates racing away from the table in terror. They flee out the doorway onto the deck, giggling and shouting as they go.

"What's wrong, Marimo?" Sanji asks, whisking away the swordsman's empty mug before he can make a move to refill it. "Why so jumpy?"

"Who's jumpy?" Zoro growls, struggling resolutely to ignore the toes kneading at the inside of his thigh. Across the table, Luffy pretends a great deal of interest in what Robin's reading, but his mischievous grin and the sly looks he keeps shooting in the swordsman's direction totally give him away.

"I'm not done with that; give it back."

The swordsman wrestles the mug out of Sanji's hands and then abruptly sends it flying across the room as Luffy's foot slides up and starts massaging his balls through his trousers.

"What is wrong with you?" Nami demands. "If you wanted it back, why'd you throw it away?"

"His moss hair's obviously started planting roots in his brain," Sanji mutters as he walks away to retrieve the errant tableware, leaving Zoro glaring murderously at his back.

Luffy snickers, wriggling his toes more firmly against the swordsman's groin and earning a stifled curse as the pressure grinds Zoro's growing erection against his lower belly. The devious grin on the captain's face earns a frown from Nami, because she knows that look too well, even if she's not entirely sure what trouble he's intent on causing.

Trapped between his captain's tormenting and the sharp-tongued navigator's wrath, Zoro squirms uncomfortably in place, prompting a scathing comment about lice and bathing from Sanji. The furious swordsman erupts from his chair, roaring back at the cook and causing Nami to choke on her drink as she spots the obvious outline in his pants.

Luffy squeaks in surprise as he's grabbed by the vest and hauled bodily across the table, trying to grab anything within reach to save himself. Nami fends off his grip, smacking him soundly as he's pulled away. "Oh no, don't expect me to defend you! You started this, so you deal with it!"

Zoro tosses the struggling captain over one shoulder, slams his chair into place under the table and stalks out the door, muttering something about inspecting the ship's armory. Nami returns to her glass, relieved that she'll be able to get to her quarters without walking in on them in the storage room. Sanji turns towards the kitchen sink, grumbling, and Robin turns another page.

"Somebody save meeeee!"

"Shut up!"

Usopp and Chopper look up from where they're sitting on the deck as they pass, Luffy clawing at the swordsman's back and wailing for someone to take pity on him. They exchange glances, decide that the dark expression on Zoro's face bodes extremely poor health for anyone stupid enough to interfere, and quickly return to their conversation as though they haven't seen anything.

"Oi! What's going on?" Masira shouts down from the larger ship drifting along next to Merry, clutching the rail. "I thought you guys were relaxing?"

Chopper jumps at the sound of the anchor deck door banging open. "N-Nothing!"

"I didn't see anything, and you didn't either!" Usopp hisses loudly, making shooing motions at the simian-faced captain.

Zoro peels Luffy off his shoulder and hurls the protesting rubber man through the doorway. There's crashing and banging noises as the captain collides with the crates stacked inside, and a cannon ball rolls out the door and down the deck, past the wide-eyed reindeer and sniper.

"He's gonna kill me!" Luffy wails, struggling to crawl back out the door in a tangle of rope. He's dragged inside as the swordsman stalks past him, and the door slams shut behind them.

"Why the hell didn't you stop him?" Shoujou demands from the opposite deck. "Mutiny's a serious-"

The brothers stare down at the smaller ship, confusion evident on their faces as they watch the two pirates roll around on the deck laughing despite the violent racket emerging from the closed cabin.

"Waitwaitwai-! OW, my ass!"

"Stop squirming and take it like a man!"

Usopp and Chopper start howling, loudly enough that Nami bursts onto the deck, screaming at them all to pipe down because they're giving her a headache. She's interrupted when the entire ship lurches suddenly, stumbling and clutching at the doorway to keep her footing.

"What the hell?" Sanji shouts from the kitchen, amidst the sound of breaking ceramic.

"O-Oi, why's your ship slowing down?"

xxx

In the end, it takes nearly an hour and a half to get underway again, because the other Straw Hats absolutely refuse to set foot past the door until Zoro emerges, looking exhausted but smugly satisfied, and leaving his panting, whimpering captain sprawled bare-assed over the anchor capstan.

Nami, who's standing outside waiting with her hands on her hips, clobbers the disheveled swordsman in the head and demands that he immediately haul in the Merry's anchor because the Saruyama brothers are insisting that they're going to miss their chance at the Knock Up Stream if they don't leave immediately.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Zoro snarls at her, just as Luffy emerges behind him, pulling up his shorts and asking why Merry's not moving.

Nami pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Consider the armory added to the banned list."