"Son of the Joker"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm loving all these reviews, as usual – my Muse seems like Bellatrix Lestrange, you say, texan-muggle? Hmm ... maybe in the moments when I have to pick on those whom I consider Harry's enemies ... the Dursleys come to mind ... as well as "Troll Brain" Weasley ...
And, now, the moment we have all been waiting for ... the meeting with Hermione and her parents ...
Chapter 7
DING DONG!
"I'll get it, Daddy!" said Hermione as she ran for the door. "Who goes there?"
"Hermione?" said a familiar voice. "This is Lord Harry Black, here to see you with the Joker, Two Face, and the Big Bad Wolf."
A laugh came from the trio accompanying him. "Son, you will scare her away!"
"Harry? What were the words I said to you in first year when I hugged you?"
"You said, 'Books and cleverness! There are more important things, like bravery, loyalty ...' Well, it seemed to me you didn't finish that sen -"
WHAM!
A brunette-haired missile knocked into Harry, knocking him onto the ground. This prompted more laughter.
"I guess I can finish the sentence now, Harry," she said above him. "And love, Harry. I was too shy to say it then, you see."
"A little help here, please, Hermione?"
"What's the matter, Harry? Not enjoying the view?"
More hysterical laughter sounded.
"Oh-ho! She got you there, son!"
"A devious sense of humor - who would have thought?"
"She's killing us in laughter, kid!"
"KILLING US IN LAUGHTER! THAT'S A GOOD ONE, PRONGS!"
"Hermione, it's not the question of whether I enjoy the view from down here – which I am – very much ... "
"Giggity," said Sirius in an undertone.
"I HEARD THAT, DAD! As I was saying, wearing a tuxedo and lying down on the ground don't mix together at all."
Even Dan and Emma Granger could not hide their chuckles as they helped Harry get up.
"At least she didn't knock you into any mud, Lord Black, so no harm done. This is a fine red tuxedo you are wearing, and you don't want to ruin it."
"Hermione's hugs can be ... enthusiastic, dearie," said Emma.
"Thank you for the help, sir ... ma'am ..."
"It's Dan and Emma, Harry ... if we may call you that ..."
"You may."
"That's fine then. Come inside, you and these .. jokers ..."
~SON OF THE JOKER~
"Well, Harry, would you like to introduce these others you have with you?"
"Allright. First of all, my father, the Joker, Sirius Orion Black."
"My congratulations on your recent exoneration, Sirius."
"Thank you, Dan. It was Hell to be shut away from my son for about 12 years in a maximum security prison with guards that sucked every happy memory out of me. Camp Hell on Earth, I call it. The experience was terrible on my sanity too – hence my alternate ... personality of the Joker."
"Next, we have his friend, my godfather, James Two Face Potter."
"Peter Pettigrew, the rat fink who betrayed Sirius, burned half of my face before he left the scene. Thanks to some help from my friend, Remus Moony Lupin, I captured the rat, got him to spill his guts about the betrayal, brought him to Gringotts ... let's just say he's going to be shoveling dragon excrement for the rest of his miserable existence on the charge of endangering the lives of the bank's three wealthiest clients: myself, Sirius, and Harry. Now, as Lord of the Black and Potter Houses, Harry's now the wealthiest client."
"You're also an officer, isn't that right, James?"
"I was, but I decided to retire from that line of work, Dan. I'm happy enough to have my friends and my godson around me. Wait ... how did you know that?"
"We saw a brief news interview with Sirius outside of Harrod's..."
~FLASHBACK~
The newscaster was standing outside Harrod's with Sirius Black and his cameraman. "Sirius Black, how does it feel to be a free man?"
"It feels ... oh, how do I say this right? It's wonderful, like someone told me I won the lottery."
"I can imagine. How did they find the real person who betrayed you and your family?"
"My friend, Officer Potter, found him, brought him in for questioning, and bada bing, I'm a free man."
"Do you have any plans what you are going to do now?"
"I plan to catch up on time that I've lost with my son, Lord Harry Black, among plenty of other things." He flicked off a ladybug that had appeared on his jacket.
"Does Lord Black want to come on camera and give any comment on his father's recent exoneration?"
The voice of Harry said, "I'm not appearing on camera, but I'm happy to know he's back for me."
As the limo left, the newscaster said, "It is good to see a family reunited. We will have to catch him another time."
Hermione looked at her parents. "I would recognize that voice anywhere."
"You know what, pumpkin? So would we."
The three of them said, "Harry!"
~END OF FLASHBACK~
"Last but not least, the Big Bad Wolf, Remus Moony Lupin."
"I turn into a Big Bad Wolf once a month, Dan ... during the full moon. The good news is that in recent times, somebody invented the Wolfsbane Potion that allows me to keep my wolfish side in check when I transform. A fortunate side effect is that I turn moody when it gets near to the full moon, so it does give my friends fair warning."
"That is a relief to know, Remus. Harry, you have gained a lot of weight since we saw you a year ago. To think, you looked like a scrawny shrimp of a boy back then. Emma and I were starting to suspect that there was something rotten in the state of Surrey. Too much more of this treatment, Harry, and we would have come to rescue you ourselves. Hermione thinks the world of you, she writes about you in all her letters back home ... I'm starting to think that you would make a fine son-in-law."
He noted that Emma, Harry, and Hermione were beaming at him, while the other three were looking at him in some shock. "What? Was it something I said?"
"Dan," said Sirius, struggling to put the words together, "it was that ... line ... you said ... about Harry making a fine son-in-law ... what if I was to tell you ... that he has shown himself to be a fine son-in-law ... since Halloween of their first year?"
"It was after that Halloween that we started hearing her gush about Harry in her letters," said Emma. "Something about a creature that had made it into the school, and Harry had knocked it out, with some help from a friend of his ... Ron Weasley, I believe?"
Harry nodded. "It was a 12 foot tall Troll ... stinky creature ... not to mention moronic ... you see, Emma, it was on account of Ron's insult that Hermione ended up there crying in the bathroom ... by the time he and I arrived there to get her, the Troll had arrived there first. It was not an easy fight, but we managed to knock it out with its own club. Professor McGonagall said not many first years could fight a full grown Mountain Troll and live to tell the tale. At my first Quidditch match, she saved my life from a bucking broomstick by setting fire to Professor Snape's robes ..."
This set the trio to laughing. "Way to go, Hermione!"
"I would pay good Galleons to see that prank!"
"Old Snivelly on fire!"
Hermione's face took on a heated blush. "I thought he was behind the cursing of Harry's broomstick!"
The laughter did not stop for a couple minutes. When it calmed down, Sirius said, "Continue, Harry."
"Let's see ... she got me through a Devil's Snare trap ..."
"It's a plant that cannot handle light or fire," said Hermione by way of explanation.
"... she helped me find the right potion in a logic puzzle ..."
"I told him that many wizards don't have an ounce of logic."
"Sad but true," said Remus.
"Second year, she saved my life from a rogue Bludger that broke my arm and it had a close call with the family jewels ..."
"Whew," said Sirius. "At least there is still hope for the Family line."
"... she found out it was a Basilisk that was Petrifying people, and I killed it ..."
"A Basilisk?" said Dan and Emma.
"A snake of at least 60 feet that can kill people on sight. If you look at its reflection, it will turn you to stone. Hermione had a mirror with her the day that the Basilisk tried to kill her, that is why she got Petrified in the first place. In a burst of anger, I beat up Draco Malfoy for saying he hoped that Hermione would be the next to die. He had to spend a couple months in the Hospital Wing. I felt THAT pissed about it. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, HURTS HERMIONE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"
There was a deafening thunderclap overhead at Harry's declaration. Dan was looking at him in a new light. This was no young man, he thought. This was a terrible warrior who would bring all Nine Levels of Hell upon anyone who even thought of hurting Hermione.
"You see, Dan ..." said Sirius, "my son's rescue of Hermione from that Troll in his first year started off a rare Magic called a Bond, and it has grown stronger by the day. Given enough time and nurture, it will mature into a Bond that will link them as Lord and Lady. The usual time of a Bond's maturity is about puberty. Has Emma given her The Talk?"
"Yes, she has ... have you given Harry The Talk?"
"Oh, yes ... at least, the important details he needs to know ... although, don't you worry ... intercourse is not necessary for the maturing of the Bond, so we can rest our heads about that. I don't think either one of us are ready for grandchildren yet."
Dan breathed a sigh of relief. "You and I are in agreement, Sirius. Harry .. even with all these sudden ... revelations ... I will not take back anything I said, young man. I would be proud to become your father-in-law."
"Aw, no ball busting?" said Sirius. "I was looking forward to seeing my son squirm!"
"DAD!"
Sirius broke out in a chuckle. "Lighten up, son!"
"I can't bust this kid's balls any more than what life has tossed at him, Sirius. Even though I was a medic once upon a time, the war I saw is nothing compared to what he has faced in his young years. I can add no more to the fire that has tested him, and he has come out a conqueror."
He knelt before Harry, and kissed his Lord's ring in homage. "You have my blessing."
Author's Note: Well, that was quite a chapter to write – and all in one day! Read and review – I hope you like it!
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer