"Son of the Joker"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
To author dreamjanus, who asked if he could have some of whatever I'm smoking: Dude, I do not smoke weed ... but if you want some idea of what I smoke, when I smoke ... Camel Turkish Royals ... which you can only get in the U.S., as far as I'm aware (sorry to my British friends such as DZ2). I also have a pipe I will smoke from time to time, and that has an aromatic tobacco called Carter Hall. Hope that helps ... LOL ...
Pennyiswise: Oh, yes, Harry is very lucky indeed that he doesn't have to break a sweat to win over Hermione's parents ... if only the rest of us males could be that lucky ...
Chapter 8
Harry patted Dan on his shoulder. "Thank you, Dan, for your blessing."
Emma gave Harry a tight hug. "We are so glad to join your Family, dearie."
When the hug released, Harry said, "I guess I know the source of Hermione's bone-crushing hugs."
Hermione beamed at him. "So, my dearest Harry, don't you have something to ask me?"
He smiled at her as he pulled out a ring box. "Now that I have your parents' approval and blessing ... I thought I would have to work harder for it ..."
"I still reserve the right to tease you at any moment I see fit," said Dan.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Thanks a lot, Dan ... Hermione ..." he opened the ring box, "... would you give me the honor of your hand in marriage?"
Hermione's only answer was a passionate kiss, accompanied by whistling, catcalls, lightning, thunder, and a bright light shining from the couple. When conditions came back to normal, Sirius edged as close as he dared to the couple.
"Hermione ... how are you feeling?"
The maniacal laugh that rose out of her chilled the company to the bone. She then looked at Harry and started to sing: [to the tune of "My Lullaby" from "The Lion King II"]
"Peace, my dark-haired husband,
Let your flag fly unfurled,
Now that We have become strong,
We shall rule the World!
Two years you have been a naïve
Goody two shoes to the core;
With my genius brains, I believe
My Dark Lion's going to roar!
When I think of Troll Brain Weasley,
That stupid, fucking rat
My bloodlust boils within me,
And I want to pay him back!
Your enemies have become mine!
We'll tear them from front and behind!
In terror their screams will rise too high;
That is when they'll die!
As for those Pureblood bigots
Like Malfoy and company,
We'll beat them all into shit:
Dumb, Dumber and DEE DEE DEE!
Harry sang:
"Now my Lioness can instill fear,
No one shall insult her name!"
Hermione continued the song:
"Yes, when we come back to school, dear,
Hogwarts will not be the same!
Your enemies have become mine!
We'll tear them from front and behind!
In terror their screams will rise too high;
That is when they'll die!
Lily's dead, but Mione will be here
To love this darling son;
I will show him all he's missing,
And new ways to have his fun!"
Sirius, James and Remus sang:
"We have ourselves a monster,
Yet we like her all the more!"
Harry and Hermione sang:
"Now that We have become strong,
Our Dark Pride's going to roar!"
Lightning and thunder shook the sky overhead, as Hermione continued the song:
"From Slytherin to Gryffindor,
All shall quake at Our Dark roar
And Our dark bloodlust –"
Harry said, "SING IT, MAI!"
Hermione sang,
"I can hear the screaming:"
Sirius, James, Remus, and Harry said, "TROLL BRAIN'S GOING TO DIE!"
Hermione finished the song:
"Of terror I am dreaming,
And so Our foes shall cry,
Under a pitch Black sky
That is when they'll die!"
Both Dan and Emma looked at their daughter in some fear. "We've ... never seen this side of Hermione before ..."
"I think Troll Brain said it best back in our first year after she cast a Full Body Bind on Neville for getting in our way," said Harry. "He said, 'You are scary, you know that? Brilliant but scary.' Neville has so much potential, you know?"
"Neville," said James, "where have I heard that name? Wait, kid, you mean Neville Longbottom?"
"That's the one, godfather."
"His parents were Aurors with Sirius and me – until Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius's cousin, tortured them into madness."
"Dan, Emma, I am afraid to say that madness tends to run in my Family. It must have been all the Pureblood inbreeding. As for Harry, I don't see how anyone can go through what he did and NOT end up insane."
"Isn't there something in the Black marriage contracts that forbids marrying a Death Eater?" said James.
Sirius smiled. "Now that I think about it, James, you are right. My Father, bigoted as he was, thought the Death Eaters went too far in their campaign of exterminating Muggles, Muggleborns, and anyone they thought impure ... not to mention other unsavory activities ..."
"I think I can see where Dad is going with this," said Harry as he stretched out, "but it's getting late. Hermione and I should go to bed ... for sleeping, nothing else."
"Thanks for your consideration, Harry," said Dan.
Sirius transformed into his dog form and ran after the couple.
"Don't worry, Dan," said James. "He is housebroken. Remus and I will sleep out here."
~SON OF THE JOKER~
The next morning, Harry and Hermione awoke to the sound of a dog wagging its tail and kissing them with abandon.
Waggity, waggity, wag, wag, wag wag, wag!
"PADFOOT, GET OFF!"
They saw Sirius. "Well, get yourselves up! It's a wonderful day out there! There are pranks to play, things to see and people to do! OH!"
"Harry, your father may be sterile thanks to Azkaban, but he remains insatiable!"
"I'm surprised I did not get any siblings."
"Well, Harry, your parents were concerned with the war, weren't they?"
Harry nodded. "True. Do we want to get up?"
"Good question," Hermione said. She felt something poking her belly. "Is that a wand, Harry, or are you happy to see me?"
"Oops, sorry about that, Hermione."
"Sorry about what? Morning wood is a natural condition. Would you like me to ... help you out with it?"
"Allow me," said Sirius, carrying a bucket of water.
"DAD, NO!"
The protest was too late, and the cold water drenched the couple. Hermione glared at Sirius.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"
"Oh, shite …" thought Sirius as he ran, Hermione hot on his heels ...
Author's Note: Another fun chapter done. I'm enjoying this, and I hope y'all are too. Read and review!
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer