"Son of the Joker"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
DZ2, my friend: I'm ecstatic that you loved my parody of "My Lullaby" from "The Lion King II". It is one thing to make a parody, but a musical parody or a poetical parody is something else, since I have to make sure it fits in the tune or the meter of the original.
He also asked for permission to make use of it in one of his stories; I gave it. The name of the story is "Know Your Enemy," and while I do not have the heart to bash Hermione Granger (no one insults her in my works without the insulter ending up hurt), I nevertheless think it is a good story, and I cannot wait to see how his use of the parody turns out ...
Chapter 9
"PADFOOT!"
A wet dog shaking itself woke up James and Remus - to be more exact, Hermione's yell woke them up, but the wet dog shaking made sure they were awake.
Hermione went into the bathroom to take her shower, while Harry went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. He could hear her singing Edith Piaf's song "La Vie en Rose," but when she arrived at the chorus, instead of the French original, this was what she sang:
"When he holds me in his arms,
I feel so safe from harm,
Je vois une vie de roses! (I see a life of roses!)
He will whisper words of love,
And I can't get enough,
Il me fait tant de choses! (He does so many things to me!) ,
He has stolen my dear heart,
Which, while it stops and starts,
Je sais trop bien la cause: (I know the cause too well:)
He is mine, and I am his for our lives!
I'm so happy to be his for all time!
And as soon as I'm aware,
My heart begins to dare:
Aussi je l'aime! (I love him too!)
"That was beautiful, Hermione," she heard him saying in her mind. "Where did you learn French?"
"I started learning it when I was younger, Harry. Do you know any?"
"I did not know any, but with your help and your brains, learning it should be no problem."
~SON OF THE JOKER~
As Hermione came out to the kitchen, she heard some jazz music playing, then Harry was singing, with Sirius, Remus and James as backup: [to the tune of "Money (That's What I Want)" by Barrett Strong]
"Cooking breakfast for my darling dear!
I have everyone I need right here!
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)"
Hermione gave him a kiss, and continued the song:
"Lots of money, it is nice, it's true!
It can't give me what I have from you!
I have my Harry! (That's what she has!)
I have my Harry! (That's what she has!)
I have my Harry! (That's what she has!)
I have my Harry! (That's what she has!)"
During a musical interlude, James conjured up a saxophone and went on a solo. After the solo, Harry sang:
"With my Mione my life's complete!
We'll be living now on Easy Street!
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)
I have my Mione! (That's what he has!)"
"Well, someone is having a happy morning," said Dan as he entered with Emma. "What's cooking out here? It smells good."
"Oh, eggs ... bacon ... you know, Dan ... breakfast ... Dad, get away! No, you aren't sneaking in an early breakfast! Wait at the table ... NO, NOT THE COUNTER, THE DINING ROOM TABLE! Hermione, a little help here?"
"Sure, Harry." She grabbed Sirius by the ear.
"OUCH, HERMIONE! OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"
Dragging him out of the kitchen, she threw him into a chair.
"SIT! STAY!"
"Yes, Ma'am," he said with a petulant frown. This cracked James and Remus up in laughter.
"That sight sure takes you back, doesn't it, Moony?"
"Agreed, Two Face. Lily would do that to Sirius all the time."
"How much longer until breakfast is ready?" said Sirius.
"It will be about one more minute, Dad," said Harry from the kitchen.
"DANIEL GRANGER, LET THE LAD COOK BREAKFAST AND COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!"
"But Emma – OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"
Emma dragged Dan out of the kitchen by his ear and threw him into the chair next to Sirius, provoking more laughter. Emma and Hermione glared at the two troublemakers.
"Are you two going to behave and wait?" they said.
Sirius and Dan, though their faces had petulant frowns, bowed their heads in shame. "Yes, Ma'am," they said.
They were soon to find that breakfast was worth the wait.
"Whoa, Harry," said Dan, "this bacon is magnificent! And the eggs ... it's like I've never eaten eggs before. Emma, can we keep him?"
"Oh, Daniel," she said laughing, "he's our son-in-law now – we have him already! I do declare, Harry, all this time and we never knew you were a chef! What's not to like about you, dearie? Hermione, your husband is a keeper."
Sirius smiled at his son. "Indeed, son ... that was the only benefit to come out of living with those ... Dursleys, may they rot in Hell for the intolerable suffering they inflicted on you ... may I have seconds?"
"Go ahead, Dad. I made plenty for everyone."
"Yay!"
~SON OF THE JOKER~
"All I wanted was a life free of that freak!" said Vernon in the environs of Hell. "Why do I deserve this?"
"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, SINNER, AND TAKE YOUR BATH!" said a Demon, shoving him into the lake of boiling blood named Phlegethon.
King Minos had considered sending Dudley into Phlegethon, but the collection of hidden pornographic magazines changed his mind. Marge Dursley had become Cerberus's bitch, and Petunia was freezing in the Lake of Treachery.
~SON OF THE JOKER~
A knocking sounded at the doors of Ragnok's office.
"Enter! Why, Lord Black, may your blades stay sharp!"
"And may Your Majesty's enemies tremble," said Harry as he entered with his entourage. "Your Majesty, allow me to present my Bondmate, Lady Hermione Black née Granger."
"Your Majesty," she said, bowing.
Ragnok got up from his chair and walked to the couple. "There is no need to bow to Us, Milady." With that statement, he did something no Goblin had done before:
He bowed before Hermione and kissed her ring ...
Author's Note: Another fun chapter done. Read and review, and have yourselves a Merry Christmas 2013 (regardless of whether or not I post up another chapter before then) ...
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer