Author's Note: Warnings for explicit sex and serious misuse of Akuma no Mi abilities. The guys sure didn't take long to start breaking in the new ship; this probably happens within the first night or two following their departure from Water Seven.

Edit: I'm such an idiot- I totally forgot to mention that this one's a collaborative project! I wrote this based on a bunch of sketches that draches sent me following a long and incredibly wrong late-night chat session. The original art - which is also NC-17 due to sexual content - has been added to the gift art page on my LiveJournal; you can find the link to it on my profile page here at FF.

xxx

Zoro never does figure out just how the hell it happens, but one second he's crouched on his hands and knees, eyes squeezed tightly shut and spine arching fantastically as his captain pants above him and pounds into him forcefully enough to inch both their bodies across the floor, and the next he's falling headlong through the lookout tower hatchway and scrabbling frantically for purchase on the ladder, the netting below, ANYTHING within reach, because although Luffy's rubber and will undoubtedly bounce when he hits the lawn deck that suddenly seems so far below, the swordsman most definitely will not.

"Shit- fuck- LUFFY-!" He manages incoherently, his brain slow to aid his mouth in voicing anything more succinct. "Watch- UNNFF!"

His flailing hands have automatically locked into a death grip on whatever they've encountered, and he's got no more than a heartbeat or two to register that it's the rigging - he's narrowly avoided plummeting to his doom by grabbing the rigging and is now performing an impromptu and very awkward handstand, the muscles in his forearms straining as they struggle to support his weight - before Luffy's weight comes down on him hard, nearly tearing him loose.

The younger pirate, who'd uttered a loud yip of surprise when he was unexpectedly yanked into thin air by his falling lover, reacts instantaneously, flinging his arms in opposite directions. One hand plunges past his first mate's head to latch onto the netting below, while the other limb loops crazily around the crossbeam attached to the mast, making several complete circuits before his fingers get a decent grip on the Adam wood.

There's a foot braced in the rigging by the swordsman's face, curled toes brushing his cheek, but he barely notices, because - more importantly - there's a hard cock still buried in his ass, and despite their dubious entanglement, the rubber man's hips are continuing to give eager little nudges against his backside.

"Damn it, Luffy, get- ah~ off me!"

"But Zoro's gonna fall!"

"You MADE me fall in the first place, you-" He groans as his captain wriggles, moving inside him. "I said GET OFF!"

"I'm trying!" Luffy protests, even as his body immediately makes a liar of him by propelling his hips forward with a snap.

Shifting the majority of his weight to one arm, Zoro glances back over his shoulder to glare at the younger pirate's flushed face. "Then pull out and stop humping me, you idiot!"

"I can't 'cause- oh, mmm, Z-Zoro's so~ so t-tight."

"We- are- going- to- FALL," he grits out, freeing one hand so he can rear his elbow back to drive it forcefully into the top of the other man's head. "LEGGO!"

"OW! I said I'm trying!" Luffy whines and headbutts him in the shoulder, and it's all downhill from there, because his aggravated first mate's trying to bite his outstretched arm and he's forced to release the mast so he's got a hand free to smack the back of Zoro's skull and then they're floundering around in the rigging like hapless moths caught in a spider's web, nearly forgetting where they are in the process of trying to punch and kick each other, their cursing interspersed with low moans and gasps and the captain's breathless laughter.

The swordsman nearly costs them both their already unsteady balance when he reaches back and seizes the chortling younger pirate by the scruff to flip him clear over his head and pin him belly-down against the ropes. "I told you to-!"

Only his ankles hooked in the netting prevent them from tumbling to the deck below, but he barely notices, protest derailed, because Luffy's no longer laughing but making a low eager noise and peering over one shoulder at him through half-lidded eyes, bright spots of color flaring high on his cheeks.

There's something thick and warm stretched over his thigh, and it takes Zoro several moments to realize that despite lying prone beneath him, the rubber man's still lodged firmly inside him. When the older man shifts, fingers of one hand tightening reflexively around a fistful of rigging while the other tenses where it's splayed on his captain's bare back, the taut flesh twitches forcefully enough to send sparks shivering through his spine.

Luffy - in the process of mumbling something that sounds suspiciously like "see, I told Zoro he was really tight" - utters a strangled whimper and clutches at the criss-crossing ropes, fighting for the leverage to press back and nudge his rump into Zoro's groin.

"B-Bad idea-" the swordsman sputters, voice hoarse around the lump that's suddenly developed in his throat. "This is a really, really bad idea and even if we don't fall and kill ourselves, we're gonna get rope-burn in places I don't wanna-"

"Zoro~"

He doesn't know how the hell his lover manages to sound so demanding and pleading at the same time, and his head's insistently informing him that one way or another he's going to regret this in the morning, but his cock - already more than interested but now rigid as steel at the thought-sight-sensation-sound of Luffy rubbing shamelessly against him like a goddamn cat in heat - is trying to tell him otherwise.

Orders, he rationalizes giddily as he cuts short his brain's protests. Sencho's orders- gotta follow Sencho's orders.

It's definitely the most complicated form of sex they've ever attempted; thankfully Luffy's fired up enough that he doesn't care about the lube laying somewhere out of reach on the crow's nest floor above them- but unfortunately, he's also too excited to relax, while Zoro's only got one hand free to hold his agitated lover's hips steady, and they've both been hanging upside down long enough that they're getting a bit lightheaded.

Like trying to thread a fucking needle in the dark, the green-haired pirate muses in exasperation when his impatient partner starts to wriggle and complain that he's taking too long. "Hold still, damn it!"

Eventually Luffy settles down and quits squirming, cooperating just long enough for Zoro to line up their bodies and start pushing into him, but his composure doesn't last, and the swordsman finds himself clenching his teeth and breathing heavily through his nose as he struggles to maintain control when the younger man suddenly bucks up against him vigorously enough to plunge him balls-deep into tight, pulsing heat.

"OI!"

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" His captain urges, recklessly releasing the rigging to grope backwards over their joined hips until his fingers close around his own cock and shove it deeper into his first mate's body. "Zoro needs to move!"

"FUCK!" Zoro yelps, going wide-eyed and nearly losing his grip on the ropes below them as the sensation of his prostate being bumped automatically propels him forward.

"Yes!" Luffy insists, pushing back to meet the thrust and looking extremely pleased with himself when his movement prompts another loud curse.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?"

After much squabbling and more than a few well-aimed but only half-hearted blows, they succeed in maneuvering into a slightly less precarious position with the captain sprawled on his back, legs thrown over the older pirate's hips and ankles together in the small of his back. Standing nearly upright with his feet braced and both hands gripping the ropes on either side of Luffy's head suits Zoro a hell of a lot better than dangling upside down with all the blood rushing to his head, and his stance also leaves his black-haired lover supported between his body and the rigging and free to touch him with both hands.

He twists his hips, putting enough power behind his thrusts to shake the netting, and fingernails rake sideways down his pectorals, leaving trails of fire along the scar tissue and drawing a deep growl from his chest.

Although the younger pirate's largely given up on doing much of anything with it - he couldn't see what his hand was doing without craning his neck in a ridiculously disturbing fashion and quickly got distracted anyway when he realized that Zoro's nipples were now well within tweaking and potentially licking range as well - his length's still curled over the swordsman's thigh, its head and several inches trapped securely in place by his tense body.

Zoro can't help thinking that it's like a bizarre variation on a few of the other new items they acquired on Water Seven: the ones currently hidden from their crewmates' sight under the stash of spare haramaki at the back of his locker in the men's quarters here on their new ship. After he and Luffy wore out the- eh, well, that vibrating dial thing Conis gave them, he's kept an eye out for such toys, and the port city certainly hadn't disappointed him. Although it was their new shipwright's girls - the Square Sisters Mozu and Kiwi - who slipped him a discrete word about that little unmarked shop on the side street near-

Just what the hell's up with all these strange women, anyway, trying to help him and his captain find new and more interesting ways to bone each other?

ANYWAY, even if it's just sort of stuffed up there and not moving much, Luffy's dick feels a lot better than some- some boring piece of plastic. He can't bring himself to call it by the name with which the shopkeeper labeled it, not after the term "butt plug" had Sencho rolling on the floor and howling loud enough with hysterical laughter to bring the cook, navigator and several other annoyed people banging on the Galley-La hotel room door and screeching at them to keep it down.

Plastic isn't warm and throbbing, and it doesn't twitch responsively and prompt its wielder to shudder and moan when he tightens his body around it. The rubber man beneath him, on the other hand, is already half out of his mind at having such sensitive flesh elongated beyond normal physical means, and Zoro's started deliberately pulling farther away than necessary, just to watch his captain's face contort at being stretched even more before the next penetrating thrust sends him arching into the rigging and clawing at his lover's torso and shoulders.

Shifting his weight momentarily to one hand so he can swipe the sweat from his face with his forearm, the swordsman can't restrain a grin at the sight of his captain's pleasure-glazed eyes and gaping, panting mouth, and he's concentrating too heavily on forcing another of those heady, impassioned groans from the younger pirate's heaving chest to notice the faint pinging noises above or the ropes beneath them beginning to flop more violently.

The remaining connectors securing the rigging to the underside of the lookout tower finally give way all at once, unceremoniously dumping both startled Straw Hats and a good deal of heavy rope onto the curved roof of the observation room. A string of curses escaping him, Zoro makes a futile grab for the window alcove, but the tiled surface is too slick to grip and the netting too bulky.

He hits the deck flat on his back, grunting when his clinging captain lands directly on top and knocks the wind out of him.

"That was so cool!" Luffy shrills, his attempt to scramble into a sitting position severely hampered by the fact that, during his flailing on the way to the lower level, he's managed to get his protracted penis tangled in a loose knot around his swordsman's leg and also somehow tied the green-haired pirate's wrist to his thigh. "Let's do that again!"

"Shut up and get off-! Wait a sec- WHAT THE HELL, LUFFY! GET THAT GODDAMN THING OUT OF MY ASS!"

"Ehh, I think it's stuck." He gives a slight tug and shivers, eyes going half-closed. "Mmm, but while Zoro's down there-"

Zoro raises his free hand, already balled into a fist, but before he's able to punch the leering younger man upside the head, something large and bulky drops out of the sky and strikes the rubber man square between the eyes, then bounces free and goes skidding across the Adam wood.

"The hell-?"

"Ow! What-?" Luffy rubs his bruised forehead, and they both stare incredulously at the loud speaker that's laying on the deck a few feet away. "..."

"... you realize Franky's gonna kill us?"

"SORRY, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT- WE WON'T DO IT AGAIN!" The dark-haired pirate shouts suddenly, bellowing loudly enough to make his first mate flinch.

"Idiot! I bet everybody on the fricking ship heard you!"

"But I don't want him mad at us!"

Zoro slumps back, arm flopping down beside him. "Tch. He didn't even see anything- maybe he'll think it was a seagull or some-"

"Not FRANKY," Luffy insists, eyes rolling before he gestures about them. "HIM."

"Who's-?" He stops short as comprehension dawns, opens his mouth to protest and promptly closes it again. A week ago, if someone - even his own captain - had tried to tell him that it was possible to upset a SHIP, of all things, he'd dispute the notion and assure them of their need for a psychiatric evaluation in none too polite terms. But not now. Not after Going Merry's final words to its crew, which he heard just as clearly as anyone else.

xxx

They're all sitting in the dining hall, doing their damnedest to snatch a scrap or two of breakfast before it all disappears down Luffy's gullet, when Franky storms in and slams the slightly battered-looking loud speaker down in the center of the table, sending dishes and silverware spinning out of the way.

Zoro briefly contemplates edging for the door but rejects the idea in favor of snagging another piece of food.

"What- happened- to my- ship?" The fuming cyborg grits out, looming over them. "Mugiwara, Haramaki-bro- I KNOW you guys both had watch last night, so-"

The captain's eyes dart about the room, avoiding the curious and slightly perplexed gazes aimed in his direction and briefly flashing towards his first mate, but the swordsman's no help- he's nonchalantly consuming a croissant. "Uhm, first it got really, really windy and then this giant seagull-"

"Sounds like one of Usopp's shitty stories," Sanji snorts, and the sniper elbows him in the ribcage.

"Mugiwara-"

"Don't worry; it won't happen again! 'Cause I promised Thousand Sunny- me and Zoro won't have sex in his rigging anymore!" Luffy explains hurriedly, and Zoro promptly sprays the tablecloth and his nearby nakama with a mouthful of half-chewed pastry.