Meeting the friends

"And that's why I'm wearing an eye patch. So, Robin, how do you like Barney?" Lily asked when the two had excused themselves to the bathroom.

"Barney? Oh he's, he's definitely something", she nervously responded. Lily eyed her suspiciously. "He's funny and... interesting... and... why don't you tell me more about him?" She tried to change subjects; she was fake-dating Barney, how was she suppose to describe what could possess her to date him?

"What?"

"Yeah, I've only been on one date with him, but you must have known him for years."

"I guess..."

"So, what can you tell me about Barney Stinson?" It was Lily's turn to be nervous. She didn't want to ruin Barney's chance with someone who wasn't a bimbo, plus Robin seemed nice enough.

"Right well he's... creative", always coming up with new ways to hook up with girls, "and smart and he has a great sense of humour. And he's a really good friend."

"Really?"

"Really?" Marshall asked Barney one more time.

"I'm telling you, Marshall, this is gonna be cake. Dating is easy; I don't know what Ted's always whining about."

"And it doesn't bother you?"

"What doesn't?" Barney asked taking a sip of his whisky.

"Not being able to sleep with anyone else?"

"Say what now?"

"Barney, don't tell me you've slept with someone else already." Marshall felt a pang of sorrow for Robin, anger for Barney and overall disappointment. "It's been one day!"

"Marshall, please. Give me a bit of credit. When Barney Stinson does something, he does it right." He paused about to drink some whiskey, "and he will leave you satisfied, what up!" He raised his hand, expecting a fist bump.

"Anyways it was really nice meeting you all", Robin said when the night came to an end.

"Yeah, we should hang out sometime!" Lily said, excited to have made a new female friend.

"Definitely, I'll call you", she said getting up.

"I'll walk you out", Barney got up, giving a pointed look to Marshall. On their way out Ted walked past them to the booth. He looked at them and they glanced at him.

"Hey," Ted greeted sitting down across from Lily and Marshall. "So you guys met Barney's 'girlfriend'."

"Uh huh."

"Well what d'you think? Did he brainwash her?"

"He wouldn't do that", Marshal grinned at the joke then turned to Lily, worried. "Would he?"

"No, Robin's nice. I like her, and Barney seems to also."

"Come on, Lily, it's Barney. He's pretending; we've all seen his act. He finds a bimbo, picks her up, has sex and then ditches her." Ted continued, "I'm starting to feel a little bad for his fake-girlfriend."

"-Robin", Lily informed him. "And I like her. If Barney ditches her we won't be able to hang out... Nice going Ted!"

"What? I didn't pick her", Ted defended himself. "Plus you know how Barney gets when he thinks you challenged him, even when you didn't."

"It's true", Marshall agreed.

"So Robin's nice uh?

"Yeah, she's uh..." Lily hesitated looking to Marshall.

"What?" Ted asked. It was then that Lily and Marshall had one of their famous telepathic conversations.

Lily: Should we tell him?

Marshall: He's going to find out eventually.

Lily: I guess... but he's going to Ted out about it for sure.

Marshall: Well, that's a risk we'll just have to face.

"Okay, Marshmallow, you tell him." Marshall nodded while Ted raised a hand in question, partially shrugging, and waited to be enlightened.

"Ted, how have you always described your perfect woman?"

"Uh...Smart, funny, hot... Loves a good scotch, can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters. Must love dogs, I'm just not a cat person, you know? Loves Star Wars, or at the very least can appreciate its awesomeness. And fulfilling the olive theory would be great too... Why do you ask?"

"Well...."

--Flashback to earlier that evening--

"I'll have a scotch."

"The same", Barney told Wendy the waitress.

"So, Robin, are you new in town?"

"Yeah, I moved here a few months ago. Haven't really had time to make many new friends, but I don't get too lonely", Barney smirked. "I have five dogs."

"Wow, five dogs."

"It's not something strange, in my neighbourhood."

"Is it something weird and it don't look good?" Barney responded.

"Well if it were I know who to call", she returned his grin.

Then they simultaneously call out: "Ghostbusters!" And begun chuckling.

--Flashforwards--

"No way, no way!" Ted cried out, "Barney's fake girlfriend is my perfect woman. What are the odds..." Ted thought out loud as Marshall and Lily looked at each other, having nothing more to say and feeling rather uncomfortable.

"So, Robin, how you like Marshall and Lily?" Barney asked her as she tried to hail a cab.

"They're nice. You have great friends, Barney Stinson."

"And you haven't even met my best friend, yet. You'd love him."

"Uh, Barney", she asked as they got into the cab, "we should probably get this straight right now... I'm not really looking for a long term relationship right now."

"Where to?" The cab driver, who appeared to be from the middle east, asked. Robin gave him her address.

"Anyways, you know I mean, Barney?

"Absolutely, we are on the same page. I got ya, right here." He tapped the side of his head. After a short silence, "We're not breaking up, are we, 'cause if that's what you're talking about we are not on the same page."

"No, we aren't breaking up." She smiled.

"So... we are dating?", he hesitated.

"Uhh... yeah I guess we are." They shared a look, smiling uneasily, which was interrupted by their cab driver.

"I would say so." The couple awkwardly looked away.