Disclaimer : I do not own Stargate Atlantis nor am I making a profit from this story, I do own Dr. Orla Grant though.
Rating : M for sexual content
Plot : Off World, Mud, mild whumpage (I'm new) and hopefully a pairing you will all love.
Pairings : Ronon Dex/Orla Grant
Spoilers : Set in Season 5 but I had changed a few things, Ronon has Season 4 hair NOT that wig, Teyla has not had her baby (hurry up John), Laura Cadman is now stationed on Atlantis and Carson Beckett is the CMO, I love him sorry.
A Massive thank you to bailey1ak for you patience and guidance your a star.
Please read enjoy and review please. Do you want more or ......
Sheppard had taken his position on point, followed by a rather muddy McKay muttering about primitive brutes. Orla and Teyla were next followed by Ronon watching their six's.
Ronon was very happy to watch Orla's shapely six all day. Though, after his stunt earlier he doubted McKay would let him have five minutes alone with Orla.
"That's it Sheppard, I need to go back." McKay cried.
"Look at me! This stuff is hardening as it dries. I have allergies you know, this mud could hospitalize me for weeks. It's probably filled with disgusting bacteria all waiting to eat my flesh." McKay screeched.
"Rodney," Teyla calmly called.
"Dr. Keller once told me women from Earth spend lots of money on beauty treatments, where they put mud on their faces. So I doubt it will hurt you. You do trust Dr. Keller do you not?" Teyla's voice remained soothing.
Ronon turned to Orla looking confused and asked "You put mud on your face, why?"
"Not me," She replied realizing she wasn't helping Teyla's cause.
Rodney was really starting to work himself into a tantrum, when from nowhere he calculatingly turned to Teyla and said, "Here, if you think this mud is good for the complexion be my guest." With that Rodney threw large handfuls of mud straight at Teyla's head.
"Oh my god," Rodney screamed. "Teyla, I am so sorry, it's the mud making me crazy," he blabbed.
Everyone looked on in horror as Teyla stood there with mud sliding down her face.
She wiped it from her eyes and mouth. She counted to ten before bellowing, "RODNEY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU."
Rodney went white and ran, as much as you can in deep mud, in the opposite direction of Teyla.
Sheppard was struck dumb. Orla was staring slack jawed and Ronon, well he backed away from Teyla taking Orla with him.
"Sheppard, Teyla is postal, can't you do something?" Ronon commented.
Orla looked at Ronon confused Teyla is postal?
Sheppard finally snapped out of it looking at Ronon saying "It's not, Teyla is postal. It's Teyla's going postal" he replied. "Teyla, please don't kill Rodney. The paperwork alone is immense," he tentatively spoke.
Sheppard walked over to Teyla. He could see she was trying to control herself. "Let's just cool down, huh?" He almost begged.
"Chewie, go get Rodney before he hurts himself. Orla will be okay here with me helping Teyla get cleaned up." Sheppard spoke though never once taking his eyes off Teyla the mud creature.
Ronon started to trudge after Rodney knowing he'd find him probably flailing about like an infant learning to walk. He smiled, he didn't hate the scientist, he just couldn't cope with him like Sheppard and Teyla could. He also knew he had to be careful now. With Orla working under Rodney he didn't want McKay taking his feelings for him out on her. He hoped Rodney wouldn't. He wasn't going to allow anything or anyone to ever hurt Orla, Rodney included.
Surprisingly, Rodney had gotten further than the Runner had expected. Teyla can put fear into men sometimes only matched by the Wraith.
Ronon was starting to get grumpy now. The mud was getting everywhere, it was nearly knee deep and hard work. It had taken him an hour to get it out of his dreadlocks last time they'd been here. Ronon remembered how the bumbling scientist had fallen over and onto Teyla, she had promptly lost her footing and they'd both landed onto Ronon. He shook his head this time wasn't going so well either.
His leathers were muddy but he could get them clean.
Ronon sighed and thought a long shower with Orla later would make up for everything.
Rodney came into Ronon's view, flailing exactly like Ronon had imagined. Luckily for McKay he was able to grab onto the many tree branches nearby for balance.
Ronon increased his stride to catch up with the man, as he neared he called out to him. "McKay, wait up. Sheppard's calming Teyla down. She won't kill you just say sorry like you meant it, McKay," he said breathing hard. It was not easy to chase Rodney in the mud and talk. "McKay," Ronon roared.
McKay heard Ronon roar and instinct kicked in, he tried to increase his speed to flee from the angry barbarian. Ronon was nearer than Rodney had realized and when he flapped his arms about to stay upright, he smacked straight into the Runner's chest.
Now, normally Ronon was a solid wall. An unmovable wall of muscle, apparently though not in mud.
Ronon wavered with the weight of the scientist on him. He pushed Rodney off him and twisted his upper body towards a nearby tree hoping to stabilize himself. What neither of them had seen however was the thick protruding gnarled branch near to Ronon's head, until it connected with his forehead. Loudly. It was followed by a thunderous growl loud enough to scare Tarzan himself.
Rodney couldn't be sure what the Satedan was uttering but he knew it wasn't pleasantries.
Suddenly Rodney's radio crackled into life.
"Rodney, what the hell is going on? Was that Ronon yelling?" Sheppard shouted.
"Ermm, yes it was an accident. He hit his head, serves him right scaring me like that not to mention the incident earlier." he prattled.
"Is he alright McKay," Sheppard inquired.
"Let you know," he replied.
"What? I want to know now." the Colonel ranted.
"Tough Colonel, I am not going near that mad Neanderthal, he's holding his head shouting words I don't understand and raging enough to scare a grizzly bear." McKay wailed.
"Where are you Sheppard?" Rodney quizzed.
"We are heading towards you and Ronon, stay put." He answered.
"Oh thank god, I wondered how you heard Conan." McKay replied.
"McKay, Atlantis probably heard Ronon." Sheppard sarcastically uttered.