Chapter 5

Dear Ben,

Well, Father hired another apprentice. His name is David Benson (oh, the irony). He's fifteen and quiet, like you were, but in an arrogant way. He is arrogant! He thinks he is all that because his father was second cousins to the governor. While he is not a Loyalist, he is not a fervent Patriot either. This is fine, of course; that is just his opinion. But then he bad-mouths the army and says he doesn't understand why some idiot would want to fight just so they can say they are independent. He says that even if we do win, the country would be too weak to stand on its own and eventually collapse. Naturally, this miffs me some because of you. And now he's got your loft too! He says it smells like horses and wrinkles his nose. I rather like it, and I know you do too. He has completely moved into what I consider your rightful territory, and I don't like it. Truthfully, I hate it. I will never, ever be as close to him as I am to you. He will never have a place in my heart as you do. Maybe Father can replace you, but I never will. I always mention you so that he knows good and well that he's just the replacement until you get back!

Your sister is getting married! How wonderful! That must be a light in the dark for you. I suppose you'll be the next in the family to marry. When that day comes, I assure you I'll be there, even if you don't invite me!

At the present, Father is away with the Commissary. I miss him and worry about him. Tis not actual combat, but it's still a dangerous job. At least now we have David to help with the store, though he is not much help. With all the wealth he grew up with, you would think his parents could afford a tutor to teach him simple arithmetic!

I pray that you have a merry Christmas and that 1779 brings an end to this war and you home safely.

-Felicity

Nearly two months had gone by, and Ben's enlistment was up for the year. At the first chance he got, he went home to Yorktown for the wedding, though it was still a week away. It took him a couple of days, but he made it safely. It was evening when he got there. It was cold and windy, and all the shops were closing. Many shops he had known since he was a child were now out of business because of the war. He sighed when he saw them. Maybe the war would end soon and businesses would open up again. He figured that Mr. Merriman's store should be relatively fine, though, if he could hire another apprentice, so for now he didn't have to worry. From the looks of it, Yorktown seemed to have been left alone by the British. This was a good sign; he didn't have to worry about his family's safety. He made his way to the house. It looked the way it always had. He saw his father at the front door, home from work. Ben smiled to himself. He hadn't seen him in over a year, and now here he was, just feet away from him. His father stopped and looked up at the night sky, then sighed. His face looked weary. "You'd better get inside!" Ben finally called, coming forward towards him. "The wind is picking up!" His father turned and frowned, then squinted to see who it was. When he saw that it was his son, his face broke into a huge grin. "Benjamin Davidson!" he laughed. "You little scamp!" Ben dropped his things and ran to him, and his father enveloped him in a big hug. "Get over here, you," he said good-naturedly. "You're not so little anymore, are you?" "I'm nineteen," Ben reminded him. Mr. Davidson whistled. "Nineteen," he said. "Last I saw you, you were what now, seventeen?" He then let him go. "Well now let me look at you." Ben stood up straight. His father smiled as he studied him. "My God, boy, you're taller than I am!" he remarked. "You're not a boy anymore either, are you?"

"No," said Ben. "I guess I'm not." They started walking towards the house. "Well, how have you and Mother been?"

"We've been well," Mr. Davidson answered. "William and Faith too. She and your mother have been stressing over the wedding ever since John asked her to marry him. You remember him, don't you?"

"John Winchell?" said Ben. "I remember. He went to William and Mary to study medicine, didn't he?"

"Aye," said Mr. Davidson. "He's here for supper tonight; he just got here twenty minutes ago."

"And they're to be married on Christmas Eve?"

"That's the plan. A small wedding, here at home, though I'm sure that somehow or other your mother will turn it into a huge town affair." Both laughed. Then Mr. Davidson asked, "Well, how have you been? Army life gotten you down yet? Ben shrugged. "It has its ups and downs," he replied. "The last couple of months have been really bloody, especially the area west of the Appalachians, where we were. But some other parts can be...entertaining." His father smiled. "We can tell from your letters," he said. "That Matthew sounds like a character." Ben laughed. "He is," he agreed. Then his younger brother William came around the side of the house, holding a bundle of kindling. "Father," said William. "Ma wants to know if you remembered the-" He stopped when he saw his brother. "Ben!" he exclaimed, dropping the kindling and nearly tackling his brother to the ground in a big hug. "You're alive!"

"Not for long," said Ben. "If you don't stop squeezing me!" William let go. "Sorry," he said. "I just can't believe you're really here! Ma! Faith!" He ran back into the house. Ben just shook his head and smiled. He never knew William cared that much. A minute later, his mother and sister came out, with his soon-to-be brother in-law and William at their heels. "Ben!" exclaimed Mrs. Davidson, hugging him tightly. "Benjamin Davidson! Oh, darling, you're home!" She kissed his forehead.

"How are you, Ma?" he asked.

"Glad that I don't have to worry about you anymore," she said with a laugh. She then let him go. "Oh Ben, look at you! You look so grown up and handsome! You're taller than your father!" She kissed him again, then Faith hugged him hello. "Tis good to see you again," she said. "It's been so long!" "A year and a half," he said. "You look well, Faith. And congratulations! My God, you're getting married!"

"I know!" she laughed. "You remember John Winchell, don't you?"

"Of course," he said, shaking John's hand. "Congratulations to you too!"

"Thank you," said John. "And welcome home!" Then William said, "Can we continue this inside? It's freezing out here!"

"Natalie has supper on the table," said Mrs. Davidson. "Are you hungry, dear?" "Indeed," answered Ben. "It's been ages since I had anything really substantial!"

Supper was the best meal he had eaten since the night of his eighteenth birthday, back at the Merrimans'. He tried to remember his manners and not to wolf it down. The evening went on, and it felt good to sit in a warm, cozy parlor by a warm, cozy fire. Later that night, after John had left, he actually felt clean. He had bathed and shaved, and now as he got ready for bed, he marveled at the fact that he was in his own room, his own wonderful, blissful, private room. No more of those awkward few seconds of being naked in front of others, at least for now. He lay down on his bed and sighed contently. Never before had it felt so warm and soft. As he was about to blow out the candle, his mother poked her head in. "Do you need anything?" she asked. He shook his head. "I'm fine," he said. She came in anyway and sat down on the bed. "I suppose it feels good to be back in an actual bed again," she said. He nodded. "You have no idea," he agreed. She brushed a strand of hair out of his face, then frowned. "You'll catch pneumonia if you go to sleep with your hair wet like that," she warned.

"No, I won't," he protested. "If that were true, I would have caught pneumonia ages ago." She gave him that mother look that said, "You'll be sorry later, but it's your choice." Ben grinned. "Do you know how long it's been since someone actually worried enough about me to remind me of little things like that?" he asked. She smiled sadly. "I am your mother," she said. "I care about you more than anyone. That's why I care enough to worry about these things. I love you." She then kissed his forehead. "Get a good night's sleep," she said. "I'll see you in the morning." She blew out the candle and left. He rolled over and smiled to himself. As much as her hugs and kisses used to annoy him, it now felt good to be loved again.

His days were spent leisurely. Everyone had agreed to just let him take it easy and enjoy his brief time at home. The next morning, he woke up at four, thinking it was time to get up. When he realized that there were no annoying drumbeats or Matthew pouring freezing water on his head, he smiled and rolled over, thinking, "I still have another blissful three hours!" He ended up sleeping until ten (he had never slept in that late in his life!), but nobody minded. Everybody was interested in his war stories, especially William. "I wish I could sign up with you," he said wistfully when Ben told the story of the first battle he had fought. "Ohh no," said Mrs. Davidson. "I worry enough with one son gone; I don't need to worry about two."

"Besides," said Ben. "You're only fourteen. You're too young for war; believe me, I've seen fourteen-year-old soldiers."

"When I get older, then," said William decisively.

"By then," said Faith. "The war will hopefully be over."

"Hopefully," said Mr. Davidson.

A couple of days later was Christmas Eve. The day was a hectic one, more so than a typical Christmas Eve because it was also a wedding. Friends and relatives came every hour, it seemed. Mrs. Davidson and Natalie, the slave who had been with them since Mr. and Mrs. Davidson were married, rushed around, taking things out of the oven, putting up last minute wedding decorations, and putting something right back in the oven. Faith and John had wanted a small, simple wedding in the parlor. Over his nineteen years, Ben had learned that the word "simple" was not in Katerina Davidson's vocabulary. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked as his mother rushed by with an armful of the bride's petticoat. "Go help your holly with the brother," she ordered. "Ugh! I mean go help your brother with the holly."

"Mother," said Faith, appearing in the doorway. "Relax. Tis just a wedding." "Tis not just a wedding," retorted Mrs. Davidson. "Tis your wedding, and you're my only daughter, not to mention my first born. I will never be the mother of the bride again; do you think your brothers' weddings will involve me nearly as much?"

"Who said I was getting married?" asked Ben with a grin. "Maybe I'll just be a bachelor all my life."

"Where's the fun in that?" asked William, coming in with an armful of holly. "Where do you want this, Ma?" "Set it down there on the table," she said. "I'll set it up later."

As the time drew closer, things became more and more chaotic. All of the women congregated upstairs to dress themselves and the bride. The men shaved, threw on their Sunday best, combed their hair, and called it done. Finally, the wedding started. The house looked lovely, especially the parlor. Ivy hung from the fireplace mantle and tops of windows. Holly was nestled between it and spread throughout the room. Candles glistened everywhere, especially in the windows, giving the room a warm, Christmassy glow. Night was falling, and so was snow, making the outside look enchanting. John looked handsome, but nervous. Soon everyone rose, and Faith slowly approached, leaning on her father's arm. Ben had to admit, his sister had never looked so beautiful. She wore a white dress that she and her mother had made, with long, lacy sleeves and a silk bodice stitched with tiny pearls. A short veil, also made of lace, covered her dark hair, which fell in loose curls past her shoulders. It was held in place by a crown of pearls. She carried a small bouquet of white flowers with holly sprigs. She had a sweet smile on her face, and an aura of calmness and grace about her. John, on the other hand, looked more nervous than Jacob surrounded by a troop of redcoats. Mr. Davidson just looked pale. Ben couldn't believe it; his sister, the sister who he had played with and argued with and laughed with and grown up with, was now getting married. A feeling of bittersweetness sunk into his heart. Faith was all grown up. She was a woman now. He felt bittersweet, but proud of her. She now stood between her father and husband to-be. The wedding ceremony proceeded. "Dearly beloved," the minister began. "We are gathered here, in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted by God Himself, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and His Church." He went on to explain the purpose of marriage and all of that. "I require and charge ye both," he continued. "As ye shalt answer at the dreadful day of judgement, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment as to why ye may not be lawfully joined in Holy Matrimony, ye do now confess it." He went on to warn them about God's Word and all of that. No objections came from anybody, so he went on. "John Winchell..."

Congratulations rang through the air for Mr. and Mrs. John Winchell. Said couple would not stop kissing either. Had Ben been younger, he probably would have found this disgusting, but he found himself thinking it rather nice. "That will never be me, though," he thought. At this point in his life, he was pretty much set in the notion that he would never marry. He found love in general tiresome and overrated. Well, up until now. Everyone said that it was a wonderful thing, and if it could make his sister happy, then he was ready to agree. But he didn't think anyone could ever love him that much, and to be honest, he didn't think he would ever be able to love someone else that much either.

The rest of the evening was filled with food, laughter, and dancing. Ben stood off to the side, watching. Soon William came up to him with two girls in tow. One of them was absolutely beautiful. She was petite and curvy, with blonde curls pinned up in an elegant style. Her blue eyes looked as though they could pierce right through you. Her gown was low cut, and though he tried not to look, Ben couldn't help but notice that she didn't have a bad bosom. "Ben," said William. "I'd like to introduce you to Bessie Sue."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bessie Sue," said Ben, a bit overcome by her beauty as he bowed. "Oh no, this is Magdalena," said William. "And she's all mine. This is Bessie Sue. I saved her especially for you." He winked and gestured to the other girl, who Ben had overlooked. She was tall and bulky, and her straight brown hair was pulled back at the nape of her neck. Her gray eyes were dull as she surveyed him. "My, you're sure handsome," she drawled. Ben felt his face grow hot. "Um-you too," he stammered.

"Will said you was a soldier," she went on. "You must be mighty brave."

"Mm-hm," he mumbled. He felt her eyes bore into him, specifically in a place too low for comfort. "Is it hot in here?" he asked, fanning himself. She grabbed his hand. "Come on," she said. "It's cooler in the barn."

"So," Ben said after a while, sitting next to her in the stable. "How exactly do you know William?"

"I actually just met him tonight," she explained. "I'm John's cousin, you see, and Magdalena is his sister." Ben nodded. "I'm Faith's brother," he said.

"I know," she laughed. "Older or younger?"

"Younger," he replied. "I'm nineteen."

"Older man," she mused. "I like 'em like that." Ben started to feel uncomfortable. "How old are you?" he asked. "Seventeen," she answered. "You married?" He shook his head no. "Me either," she said. She took a bottle out of her pocket and took a swig. She then offered him some. "Whiskey?"

"No, thank you," he said. She put it away and smiled. "Don't drink?" she asked. "Not usually," he said. "At least not heavily."

"You're a good man, aren't you?" she laughed. He half shrugged. "I make you nervous?" she asked.

"Women in general make me nervous," he admitted. She smiled again. "Shy one, are ya," she said. He looked down. Then she said quietly,"If you were to kiss me, I'd be mighty obliged." Ben glanced at her hopeful face and, being the nice person he was, he couldn't say no. He pressed his lips lightly on hers, and she kissed back with passion. As her tongue brushed his, something tasted funny. He pulled back and frowned. "Does-does something taste funny to you?" he asked.

"Oh gosh, Ben, I'm sorry," she said. "That's just my tobacco." She spit it out. "I bet you don't chew tobacco."

"No," he said. "I don't." She moved her stocky frame closer to him. "You tired?" she asked.

"A little," he confessed. She put her big hand on his cheek. "Get undressed, love," she murmured. His eyes widened. "But-but it's cold!" he protested.

"I'll warm you right up," she said slyly, her hand now toying in a place it shouldn't have been. Ben stood up. "No, that's all right," he said, turning to leave. "What's the matter?" asked Bessie Sue. "Am I ugly or something?" "No, no," he assured her. "You're very pretty. It's not you, it's me."

"Wait!" she said, standing up. "I'm not going to hurt you or nothing." She sat him back down and took his waist coat off. "I just wanna know you better." She kissed him and started to unbutton his shirt. "Don't worry, love," she whispered. "I've got enough experience for the both of us."

"Well, I don't," he said.

She smiled. "You're a virgin if I ever saw one," she cooed. "Now come on, darlin'. I know what what to do." Ben pulled himself away. "No," he said firmly. "I'm sorry, Bessie Sue, but I can't."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because it's wrong," he said. "And I have a reputation to uphold."

"Nobody has to know," she said slyly.

"No," he said again, standing up and buttoning his shirt. "I'm going back inside. I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else to do...those things with." And he got out of there as fast as he could.

"Where have you been?" asked Mr. Davidson once Ben was back inside.

"I-uh-went out for some fresh air," he lied. William waltzed by with Magdalena. "Where's Bessie Sue?" he asked.

"Oh, she just stepped out," Ben lied again. He stepped over to where his mother and sister were standing before anyone could question him further. "What a lovely wedding," remarked Mrs. Davidson. "Don't you think, Ben?" "Of course," he agreed. A new song started to play, and he grinned and bowed to his sister. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Winchell?" She curtsied in reply. "Of course," she agreed. He took her hand, and she rested her other hand on his shoulder. They slowly danced in time to the music. "Where is John?" he asked.

"Talking with a bunch of relatives," she replied. "I thought we had a big family until I met his." Ben laughed. Then he asked, "Well, how does it feel to be an old married woman?" Now she laughed. "I've never been so happy to be called anything in my life," she said. "Even an old married woman. And it feels wonderful."

"Were you nervous?" he inquired.

"Out of my mind," she confessed. "All I kept thinking was, 'don't trip , don't trip!'"

"You didn't look nervous," he said. She smiled. "Good," she said, "That's what I was trying to do." They were silent for a little while. Then she said, "I want to thank you for coming. I know you had to go out of your way to."

"I would have come even if I were in China," he said. "You're my sister." She smiled again. "That's good to know," she said.

"Besides," he added. "It was a good excuse to go home for just a little bit."

"Must you reenlist, Ben?" she asked sadly. "Can't you just say that you served for a year and be satisfied?" He shook his head. "They're desperate for soldiers," he said. "And I want to say that I fought until the bitter end, even if we lose." She just sighed. Changing the subject back to her, he said, "You look beautiful, by the way." Her smile reappeared. "That," she remarked. "Is the nicest thing you have ever said to me."

He grinned. "It's your wedding day," he said. "I'm obligated to be nice." She just rolled her eyes good-naturedly. He hesitated, then leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations," he whispered. She pressed herself closer to him. "Thank you," she whispered back. "And Ben?"

"Yes?"

"You're on my toe."

Dear Felicity,

Well, I officially have a brother-in-law. He is a good six years my senior and a doctor, but not too bad of a fellow. Faith loves him, and that's all that matters. Do you know he studied medicine at William and Mary?

This Christmas was much better than last. It felt so good to be home again. And next month, back to the army. I hope things start to look up, because right now, they are looking pretty bleak.

I'm sorry this isn't a very long letter, but nothing has really happened. In our situation, though, no news is good news. The wedding was beautiful, and that is really all there is to say. And Lissie, give David a chance. He may surprise you.

I wish you all good health and fortune for the coming year.

-Ben