~AN~

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Okay, first of all, this chapter is split into two parts, because otherwise it would be 5K+ words, and many of you reaaaaly wanted a chapter ASAP. So here you go. ALSO. I just realized that you did not get the full version of Chapter 2, so I fixed it! Go re read that please, and uhm... yeah. Also, if you do not like feels that completely rip your soul to shreds, DO NOT READ THIS FANFICTION ANYMORE. DatNatCatThoe knows why. Speaking of, my friend DatNatCatThoe will be posting soon, so go follow her! Okay! I think that's it! R.F.F.S.T.T.F.N.

~DatGlowstickThoe

~Seven Days~

"Anything else you wish to know? Or shall I have to start a conversation?" I asked.

"Would you mind my asking what happened after you fell from the Bifrost?" Thor clearly didn't understand the weight of that question, for I had not answered it, and I did not wish to.

"You're not there yet," I responded.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his brow furrowing in curiosity.

"I don't feel comfortable enough around you to tell you yet," I replied honestly.

"We'll have to fix that," Thor commented. "In the mean time, what do you not mind speaking about?"

I thought. "Anything that does not revolve around anything before your corrnation," I answered finally. He sighed and tried to find a topic of conversation.

"You were reading through your journals when I came in. Things of the past. How much of the past do you actually remember?" he finally asked.

"Much more after refreshing my memory... but only some things," was my reply.

"Such as?" he asked.

"Such as... the full details of our Bildesnipe encounter," I began. "And your coming-of-age party, during which there were fireworks and Fandral nearly caught himself on fire..." He chuckled at this. "And how you hardly ever spoke to me in our teenage years, so I stayed in my room all the time..."

His smile faded. "What?"

"Never mind it, Thor..." Dispite this, he pressed on.

"No, what do you mean I hardly ever talked to you? I remember us being the best of friends in our teenage years!" Oh, sweet, niave, Thor, who stilled believed himself to be the perfect brother. It was time he realized the truth.

"Actually, I stand corrected. We did speak. I would walk up to you, Lady Sif, and the Warriors three. 'Hello, brother! Mind if I join you?' 'Not today, Loki. I'm with my friends. Do you not have spells to learn?'" I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Great memories! Oh! Oh! How about the time you completely forgot my birthday, and Frigga had to remind you? That was wonderful!" I could see his face contorting into a frown, so I continued. "And how could I forget your favorite words of all time, 'No, Loki!' I heard those words often. When I wanted to go on an adventure with you, 'No, Loki.' When I would talk to you, 'Not now, Loki.' Your friends weren't the nicest either, to be honest."

"Loki.. I-I'm so sor-" I did not let him finish.

"No, it's fine, Thor, really. I found my own solution. See, you didn't notice, but for an entire year, I had only come out of my room to eat. My books and my journals were the companions to me that you never wanted to be."

"Loki... I never realized that I... I'm so sorry..." he said, the guilt evident in his voice and expression.

"You should be, Thor!" I blurted out. "I looked up to you! As my older brother, and as my role model! I wanted to be just like you. I always did. I would steal your cape in youth, I would always want to be around you. Even to the point of attempting to take over a realm, just so I could be your equal, and you never knew! You spent time with me up until our sixteenth year, and then you abandoned me, Thor. You don't realize..." I took a deep breath there. "You don't realize how much that hurt me. I know you didn't mean it that way. You never do. But you were my only friend, Thor. Did you know that? You were my only friend." My voice became almost a whisper as I said, "And you abandoned me."

I looked away, knowing what I had just done. I had let my wall slip again. It was hard not to around Thor. Around Odin, around the Warriors, around anyone else, I was fine. But not around Thor. It was sentiment, and it was pulling me down. I had told him that it would not become habitual of me to let my emotions slip, and yet I had let them slip again. I said the only thing I could in that moment:

"Leave me."

~Six Days~

I had scolded myself all the day before. How could I have let such a thing happen? That is why I found an empty journal, and wrote in it, like I had used to do. I nearly filled three-fourths of the journal on my rant, and had stayed up all night until I'd felt the anger leave me. Despite this, I was not tired, just mentally exhausted, per usual. I had come to the conclusion that I needed to speak with Thor about what had happened, so I dared to leave my room.

Thor's chambers were down the hallway from mine, so it did not take long for me to get there. The part that took the longest was the time I spend staring at his door, hand raised to knock, but not daring to do so. I was afraid. I should not have been afraid. I fought the Avengers, started wars, faced Thanos himself... and yet I was afraid to speak to Thor. Finally, I took a deep breath and knocked.

He opened the door slightly, looking through the crack at me, before opening the door all the way. "Loki?" he asked, curious of my presence.

"I've got alot to say, and I would prefer to do it fast, so please hold all comments and or questions until I've finished," I said quickly before continuing. "I'm sorry I snapped on you yesterday. It wasn't your fault. i never spoke up, or said anything about it. And I may have exaggerated on the whole, 'You ignored me for an entire year' thing. It just kind of felt like a year then, and I'm sure it wasn't that long. You weren't that terrible of a brother, you just had your own personal life that I felt like I needed to be a part of, and I didn't mean to hurt you by saying any of it, it was just really emotional for me to go through all those old journals and relive the memories, and I didn't mean the majority of it, it's just hard for me to be able to do anything, especially think straight anymore because I constantly feel like I have something nagging at me at theback of my mind, and prison isn't exactly easy and I'm sorry." My voice had become faster as I had rambled on and on, unable to find the right words. I could only pray that he understood what I meant. Then there were the questions. Did i apologize because I felt bad? Or because I just wanted to see Frigga? And why did I want to see Frigga, anyways? I was simply confused.

"It's okay, Loki," he replies after taking a while to let my word sink in. "I know you're under alot of stress, and I wasn't exactly the best brother ever. I let my friends effect my relationship with my own brother, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry for that."

"Don't do that," I said. "Don't apologize to me."

"Well then, what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"I don't know, I admitted, "Just don't apologize."

We stood there in silence for what seemed like forever to me. What was there to say, if anything? There was something that needed to be said, but what was it? The more I thought, the more questions I had.

"Thor, why are you doing this? Trying to help me, I mean. Being nice and saving me... when all I have ever done is cause you pain in trouble..."

"I suppose I still have hope that the Loki I once knew is still in there somewhere. The Loki from our adventures, from our youth. The Loki that knows I would do anything for him, and has proven that he would do the same. I know that what you have done does not define you. I have faith in you."

I paused before responding. "And I thank you for that, brother."

A smile broke out on his face at that one word. 'Brother.' I had used it and not hated myself for doing so. I guess I had realized that he was my brother, and nothing would change that. I wasn't sure though. And so I went back to my room, pulled out a journal, and began writing once more, hoping my thoughts could somehow make sence to me once they were written out. My thoughts were stars that I could not fathom into contellations. And even though nothing made sence at the time, I still had this feeling that, eventually, everything would work out.

~SIDE NOTE: TFiOS reference! Yay!~

~Five Days~

I had actually gotten sleep that night. After i had written out the details of the day, I had spent the day thinking about what I'd written. Eventually, I had fallen asleep with only one conclusion: When I called Thor my brotehr, I meant it. There hadn't been nightmares either, and thought his was good, I was begining to worry about it. It had been a while since I'd had a nightmare or horrific flashback, so one was bound to happen soon.

I knew Thor would be visiting my today, so I prepared myself. I could not, and would not, step out of line today. Not if i wanted to fix things between Thor and I. Yes, I had also concluded that I needed to fix things between my brother and I, but I had not concluded why.

As expected, he knocked at my door around noon, and I permitted his entrence. He sat on the edge of my bed, facing me as I sat in my chair.

"How are you?" he asked,

"Better than I was," I replied. "And you?"

"I am well," he answered. Thought, I could tell that his mind was reeling.

"You have questions," I assumed. "What are they?"

"I am still wondering about the events prior to the Battle of New York..." he sadi cautiously.

"Thor, you are my brother, and I am ready to admit that," I began, "But I am still not ready to speak of such things."

"Then I shall not force you to do so," he said. Then out of nowhere, he asked, "Do you remember when we had built that secret room underground?" I nodded, not understanding where this was going until he began pulling my bed away from the wall, revealing trap door. He opened it, and began his decent down into the room, gesturing for me to follow. I stood, smiling and followed him down.

It was dark, but Thor soon fixed that by pulling out a box of matches and lighting a torch. He lead me down the short hall. Surprisingly, he still had his key and used it to unlock the door. He opened it and entered first so he could light the room. Once that was done, I followed him inside the room. I could hardly believe it. It looked just like we'd still been using it. I couldn't help but wondering...

"I came down here from my end alot when you were in... you know..." he explained. I had forgotten that his room had a trapdoor, too. and as for his coming down here, it explained why had the key, and why the room did not look abandoned.

"Sentiment," I remarked with a small smile.

"Sentiment," he replied, returning the smile.

We stayed down there for hours, looking through things we'd left down there. Books, drawings, notes, old treasures. I even found a small photo album. Thor and I sat on the floor and passed things back and forth, but I stopped looking at other things once I found the photo album. I just stared at it, deciding whether or not I wanted to open it or not.

I opened it. Immeatly, younger versions of Thor and I stared back at me, smiles on their faces. It was of our vacation to the beaches of Asgard. Frigga had taken the photograph, I remembered. "Do you remember this?" I asked Thor.

He smiled. "I do. I remember you pulling me into the water."

I scoffed. "Only after you pushed me in first!"

"It was an accident!" he defended. "I tripped!"

"Oh, yeah, sure! You 'tripped'.." I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"I did!" he said, holding back a chuckle of his own.

"And my hands just happened to get caught on your arm, and then I fell backwards, while we're making excuses!"

"Oh, please! You pulled me in on purpose!"

"I'll admit to it when you admit to pushing me!"

"But I didn't push you!" he exclaimed. "I tripped!"

I simply rolled my eyes. "Okay, I believe you!" Then I added a mumbled, "Not.." as I flipped to the next picture, which was one taken in this very room by myself around my eleventh year.

My arm was etended out so I could get both Thor and I into the picture. I smiled. It had taken us two and a half years to make this room, even with the assistance of my magic.

Every photo was one of Thor or I, or more often, both of us. Every one of them was a memory. Vacations, adventures, just random pictures. There was one that struck something inside of me. Nostaglia. Sentiment. I took the picture out of the album and slipped it into my pocket, making a mental note of its existance.

I had lost track of how much time we'd been down there, but I didn't care. We stayed for hours, it seemed. Hours and hours and I didn't want to leave because in this place I felt dafe.I felt as though I were back in the days before New York, before joutenheim, before Thor's corronation. Back when we were just children with high hopes and big dreams.

I suppose I had zoned out for a long time, for soon I felt Thor's hand on my shoulder and heard his voice. "Come, brother. It is late, and we should go, or I fear you'll never leave!" he joked. I snapped out of my daze and stood. He lead the way out of the room, locking the door behind us. Before I knew it, we were back in my room, moving the bed back in place. "I shall see you tomorrow," he said before leaving me alone with my good memories.

~Four Days~

"You cannot be serious!" I exclaimed.

"But I am Loki," Thor said calmly. "It's just a short walk around the gardens!"

"Yes, with every eye on Asgard glaring daggers at me on the way!"

"Pay no attention to them, Loki. You need to get used to being around other people. You cannot stay in here for the rest of your life. You haven't even come out of your room except to see me!" Then he paused. "Have you had anything to eat?"

"I'm not hungry, and I'm not going," I said firmly. However, Thor's grip on my arms was even more firm as he dragged me out of the room. Litterally dragged. I dug me heels into the floor. My protests of, "Thor, stop. No! Thor, I am not- Would you stop? I'm not going outside! Thor! Thor, stop this madness!"

His only response was, "Come along, Loki. We're going to get some food into you, and then we're going for a walk." His persistance was admirable, and eventually I gave up on trying to stop him and just walked along.

May I point out that most people who were in a rush to leave, but wanted food, would just grab asmall snack, like some grapes or something. Thor is not most people. He grabbed an entire tray of food (meat, potatoes, rolls, some concoction of vegetables, so on and so forth) and a cup of water, since he knows I prefer to not drink mead as he does, and shoved it all at me.

"Here. Eat while we walk," he said, walking toward the door again.

I stood there for a few moments, trying to make sure that I did not drop the tray, before following him and replying, "Thor, I told you I am not hungry."

He turned to me, a firm expression on his face. "Eat, Loki," he demanded, his tone strict. I protested no more.

Though I had told him I was not hungry, and did not feel so, I suppose I was, for I had eaten more than I had planned to, and at a rather quick pace.

My focus was torn from my food to my surroundings as a blast of cold wind hit my face. There was snow covering almost everything. I had almost forgotten the snow. It had snowed when I was released, and there must have been snow on the day I found out of Odin's deception, though my mind was reeling too much for me to have noticed. But now it blanketed everything.

I had absent mindedly started eating again while I followed Thor out to the gardens. People stared at us- me. I payed them no mind, not looking in their directions. Suddenly Thor stopped walking and bent down to grab something. I just shrugged it off and looked down at my food.

The next thing I knew, a snowball hit my face. I shot a glare at Thor, who was laughing. His laughter ceased, and he apologized, then turning and walking on. I smirked and bent down, forming a snowball of my own, then positioning myself to throw it. "Hey, Thor!" I called.

He turned toward me. "Yes, L-" His reply was cut off by the snowball hitting his face. It took him by surprise, and his face showed it. I began laughing, but stopped in time to hold my tray up as a shield to the next snowball, which consequentally dumped the food onto the ground.

I grinned. "Oh, it is on!" I yelled, making another snowball.

Thor began making snowballs of his own. While he was distracted, I threw mine, hitting him in the back. Back and forth we went, throwing, hitting, dodging, shielding. Thor began running towards a bench so he could hide behind it, so I threw a snowball at him. It hit him in the nack of his head, and he somehow tripped over something at the same time, then hitting his head on th bench. I rushed over to him, kneeling at his side.

"Oh Gods, are you okay?!"

Then a handfull of freezing snow hit me in the face and stayed there for a few seconds, despite my efforts of backing away. I heard Thor chuckle, "I am now!" But when he moved his hand away, his smile faded. I suspected what had happened, so I ran inside, Thor following quickly.

The heat of the air inside the palace hit me harder than the cold had, but I only ran faster, praying that nobody would see me. I finally rached my room, and ran into my private restroom, in which there was a mirror. Staring back at me through it was a monster. I saw Thor standing behind me, a mix of emotions on his face; Confusion, shock... horror.

"Leave me," I mumbled, not wanting anyone to see me like this. When he did not move, I raised my voice, "I SAID LEAVE ME! ARE YOU DEAF, THOR?! GET OUT!" His eyes widened farther, and, he left.

"Monster..." I mumbled to the man in the mirror. "You are a Jouten. A monster. Laufeyson."