Chapter 4:

My family arrived the next day. By then I had composed myself, but only after spending the night hyperventilating in my hotel room.

I picked them up in the airport. Esme greeted me by scattering relieved kisses all around my face. I think they were all surprised to see I wasn't a train wreck. Especially, after the state I was in on the phone the other night, but now wasn't the time to make things about me.

So, I kept my face completely emotionless and tried not to let them know I was dying inside. If they could tell they didn't mention it. They just kept glancing over at me with, pityingly.

The only one who actually talked to me was Alice. She took my hand and said; "We're all here for you, Edward." She didn't say anything else. I think she knew if she mentioned Bella I would likely breakdown. I felt great surge of love for her then. My sister, who somehow always knew what to say or not say to make things just a little more okay.

We all headed back to the hotel. We sat there in silence for a while longer until Carlisle finally spoke.

"Edward" he said, gently "I think you ought to take me to Bella now."

I nodded stiffly.

. . .

I could tell Alice was upset when Carlisle told her it was only me and him going to see Bella. She hid it well, but I wasn't the only one who had missed Bella. And I wasn't the only one who loved her.

When we arrived at the hospital I didn't get out of the car straight away. I just sat there remembering how Bella had looked the day before. I couldn't stand seeing her in that pain; knowing it was my fault. I wished I could just rip the sorrow from her. I wished this would be like it was with James where I could just hunt down and kill what was hurting her. That was certainly a lot easier than this.

Carlisle, who was already out of the car, noticed I wasn't moving and sighed. He came around to my side and opened the door. For a moment he just looked at me, with an expression I could never decipher. He extended his arm and at first I didn't know what he was doing, but then I realised he was offering his hand for me to take.

This simple gesture was as tender and loving as Alice's earlier words. I took his hand and let him pull me out of the car and together we walked to the hospital.

. . .

I didn't visit Bella that day. I let Carlisle go in without me while I sat in the waiting room. I had explained to Carlisle about Bella's outburst and he agreed it was probably best I kept my distance today. Just for today.

So, I just sat and read a magazine, pretending to be interested in some celebrity's latest plastic surgery.

I wondered what Carlisle was saying to Bella. Was she still not talking? She spoke loud and clear the day before, but that could have been a one off. How ill was she really? I told myself she couldn't be that bad, not because of me! Could she?

I had seen her yesterday. I had seen the look in her eyes. I couldn't find one bit of happiness in her. She just seemed to be drowning in a pool of misery and fear and if I could see that just from looking at her then imagine how bad she really was.

I had done this to her. I had made her into this. Oh, I wished I'd never met her! I wished I'd never existed in the first place!

"Hey" a hoarse voice said.

I looked up from my magazine to meet eyes with Jacob Black.

"Hello" I said.

What did he want? He was probably going to try and make me leave again.

He seemed somewhat nervous as he stood before me chewing on the inside of his cheek, but not aggressive. He was not here for another shouting match.

That certainly didn't mean he was enjoying himself. I could just tell he was wishing he could be anywhere, but here. So, what on earth were his motives in speaking to me?!

"What is it you want, Jacob?" I asked, sharply.

My rude response didn't seem to bother Jacob. It was almost as if I hadn't spoken.

"I came to apologise about yesterday" he told me.

"Is that some kind of a joke?" I sneered, raising my eyebrows.

Jacob smirked and took a seat next to me.

"Not really, but I can't say it's true either" he said, letting out a humourless giggle. "Look what I came to say is that you can't leave again."

This was certainly not what I had been expecting. I had been expecting him to make a scene. Try to punch me or shout obscenities. Not this.

"I'm sorry?" I gasped in disbelief. "Yesterday you couldn't seem to think of anything worse than me staying!"

"Yeah, but that was before she spoke!" he exclaimed.

He said this a little too loudly which caused the receptionist to look up from her book and scowl at us.

"Are you alright over there?" she asked.

Her mouth said this, but her eyes said if you cause a stir I will call security.

"Yes. We're fine" Jacob called over to her.

Grumpily she refocused herself on her book. She seemed almost disappointed, like she had wanted an excuse to throw us out of the building.

I could tell Jacob was about to start talking again and I wished I could just put him on mute. Each of his words scorched my already dead insides, but then part of me wanted him to continue. I deserved to be punished. I deserved to be torn to pieces.

"Don't you get it?" Jacob asked me, his tone quieter now. "Every day, I go and sit on the edge of her bed, begging her to say something. Anything! But she just lies there, limply. Then you come in one day and she automatically speaks like it's nothing!"

"I... I don't understand" I stammered.

"What I'm trying to say is... if you're what's making her better then I want you to stay" he explained.

Something in his tone alarmed me then. There was a sort of aching hope in his voice; it was as if nothing he had ever said had been more important than this.

"Oh my god!" I cried. "You love her, don't you?"

"Yes, leech, I love her. I really fucking love her and I hate you. That's why I'm not letting you hurt her ever again."

And with that he sauntered out of the room.

I'm not sure I like this chapter very much. It took me so much longer to write than the others! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you think in a review? Constructive criticism is encouraged. Also tell me where you think I'm going with this story. What do you think is gonna happen? Seriously, I'm curious!

Until next time!