After Lara's little epiphany, the air feels clearer. It's hard to really explain the effect it has on me. As much as she's told me that it gets better and she got over it, I can see that she wasn't telling me the full truth. And when she realizes it, it makes me feel a lot better about the way things are going.

That wasn't the last talk we had about it. Neither of us want to go anywhere near a shrink. Jonah even recommended a good one a year ago but we ignored it. Since we're both too stubborn to get professional help we muddle through it together. It doesn't always end well. Like any couple we fight. The worse ones aren't about money - we had those epic battles years ago, long before Yamatai. It's usually something stupid. Once I swore I wouldn't talk to her for a week. I lasted about six hours before I gave in. Which broke my five hour record from our University days (over some guy, if I remember correctly). Go me.

Here's the crazy thing. When we have the really bad ones, the air feels so charged. I think it has to do with those skulls. They're alive somehow. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but like they feed off of our emotions or something. When we fight and then make up it's so intense. But everything Lara does is intense so I don't think it's just that. I just think I can feel them better than she can. That's crazy. But it's true.

God, I have this terrible thought that the only reason we're together is because of the influence of those things. I don't know if I should or not, but I have to tell Lara. I promised I'd talk, right? Lara always keeps her promises, so I can too.

Lara is massaging her leg when I come into the living room. She's been out of the cast for two weeks, and the physical therapy has been a pain. She's not ready to go dancing, let alone tramping after artifacts, but she's making an effort to be patient and almost succeeding. I forget what I'm trying to do as I stand there and watch her. Watching Lara is something I've perfected over the years and I always get a little buzz when I can watch without hiding it.

She looks up and smiles at me. "Morning, hon. What are your plans today?"

Oh. Right. I switch to serious face and lean over the couch to kiss her. "We need to lock those skulls away somewhere else."

"What? Why?" She stops working at her leg so I move around to take over for her. "I'm still studying them, Sam. They're safe right where they are."

"No, no! Lara, you can't tell me you haven't noticed the way the air gets charged whenever we're… doing anything really emotional. Like a fight, or when we're screwing, or when you look at me like you want to wrap me up and put me in a safe or something. Or when I kick your butt on the PS3. Or when we watched that movie with the robots and the dude from Sons of Anarchy. Those things are feeding on our emotions! Or maybe they're pushing us."

She opens her mouth and I expect her to tell me I'm crazy, but she closes it and looks surprised, like she had expected herself to say that too. "I don't know...My feelings didn't just suddenly materialize out of thin air after you pulled me out of that cave. I crushed on you for years, Sam."

I seize on my opportunity. She's seriously considering the idea. I move up her body and straddle her. "I believe you! But lets lock them in a safety deposit box, move them to a safe at your parents' place. Don't you practically have a vault there? I mean, they creep me out."

It's the wrong thing to say and I know it as soon as I say it, so I pin her down by the shoulders before she can dislodge me.

"Get off of me, Sam, I'm not going anywhere near that place."

'That place'. Like it somehow wasn't her home as a child. At least she had one. I still don't know what nationality I should consider myself. British at this point, I guess. "Lara! What if there's something there that might help us figure them out? And what other place could be safer for them?" I feel a little heady. "Please. Please. I'll even make you a deal."

She has her hands on my waist, and I know she intends to try to dislodge me again, but she stops and looks at me. "What kind of deal?"

Lara is way overdue to actually face this part of her past, and well… so am I. "I'll try to mend fences with my parents if you face your own ghosts."

At that, quicker than lightning I'm on my back on the couch and watching Lara's butt move away from me. I roll to my feet and chase after her. "Damn it, Lara! Please. Do this for me.Please." I follow her into the bedroom. "Can't you feel this? It's-"

I'm muffled as she suddenly pushes me against the wall, her lips crushing mine and all sense flooding out of my head. My feet dangle helplessly as she tries to devour my mouth with hers. Just as quickly, she lets me down and steps back. Her eyes are dark and hooded. It's like Sam bait, and I blink my eyes to restore my focus as she talks. Her voice is low and gravelly. "No artifact makes me feel this way about you, Sam. It doesn't make me want you any more, or any less."

"We're going out for dinner," I say, suddenly. I feel like I have something to prove but I don't know what it is. Except if I stare into her eyes any longer I'm going to melt into a puddle and we'll go nowhere. I need to look away from the power behind her gaze. "Clear our heads, dress up. We're overdue our date night anyway."

She looks at me for a moment. The way her eyes look over me makes me feel like I'm stripped bare. "... after dinner, I'll make some calls. We'll bring the artifacts to the manor.."

I throw myself at her and we careen onto the bed, hugging each other so tight that air becomes a serious problem. "Thank you, Lara!"

Her face burrows into my neck and her voice is muffled. "You loved me before, right?"

"From the moment I first heard your voice," I promise her, the vulnerability in her tone making my chest clench up. "I was like, 'who is that and why is she so sexy? Why is that sexy? I need to evaluate my life choices, I wasn't aware that was even an option!'"

We don't actually get up for about three hours. We don't snog or get hot and heavy. Or make love like Lara likes to say sometimes. I tease her endlessly about that but it's adorable. Making love. No one but her has ever done that to me, and the most amazing thing is that's exactly what it is. When I'm in her arms and everything inside me is coiled up about burst, she locks her eyes with me and I get lost in them. It's the most intense sex of my life. There's plenty of times where we're silly or light or quick or whatever, but I really like it when she's intense. Tonight though, we just lay there and hold each other. I think we nap a little. No talking, this is snuggle time, and snuggle time is very important. I'm really content with snuggle time.

It's hunger that finally gets us out of bed, and Lara takes a shower first, claiming I'll just use all the hot water if she doesn't. Which is true.

I use the chance to pick out something to wear, which contrary to popular belief doesn't always take me an eternity. I have just the thing, and it's the shoes I'm trying to decide on when she finishes.

"The silver, strappy ones," she says. I set them aside and look up at her. My mouth drops open. I'll never tire of the site of Lara naked. She has her arms up, toweling her hair off and I'm afforded a view of every curve, every scar and every droplet of water trailing down toned abs. I want to lick every inch of her.

Predictably, she blushes and it takes all my willpower to not jump her then and there. I settle for a long kiss, then bound into the bathroom to shower too. It's okay, though. I get her back when I'm done. She's in the middle of fussing with her shoes when I come in and her eyes follow me as I dry off and dress, taking every care in the world to show her everything. Revenge is very sweet, and it feels so good to be appreciated. Her gaze is unlike any of the guys or girls I've been with before. It's not just lust. It's lust and adoration and affection.

I quickly dress before I get too emotional to put makeup on.

I feel her behind me, and lean back as her arms circle my waist. I'm almost done, but her breath is hot in my ear. "Sam, I already called for a taxi, you probably have twenty minutes to get ready."

"I'll be able to get ready if you can keep your grubby paws off of me."

I laugh when she gropes me, then squirm out of her grip. "Shoo! I banish thee to the living room!"

Lara lets out a slow, melodramatic Vader 'no' as she backs out of the room. Silly Lara is best Lara. I join her in the living room and stare at her good and hard. She's wearing an aquamarine dress blouse and neat black slacks. It's sexy. We're going to be so hot together and I'm glad I picked a dress that goes with black and blue. "...how long until the cab again?"

"It just arrived." She grins at me and I put on a pout, before grabbing her hand and dragging her down the stairs. It's so hard to keep my hands to myself in the cab but I succeed, mostly. There's this spot on Lara's knee that I keep stroking because I know what it does to her and she's flustered by the time we make it to the restaurant. I'd let Lara pick it and it isn't incredibly pricey though I am pleased to notice that it is still really, really nice. I'm totally proud of her.

"I hope they're serving fish," I say, watching her reaction closely. "I have a craving."

"I'm sure they do," she says, obliviously. She doesn't get why I'm grinning at her, but I let it pass. She actually figures it out about the time we sit down and order some wine, and coughs. My toes trailing along her shin probably don't help with that. She doubles down, though, and the next thing I know, I feel her foot rubbing against the side of my knee. When did her legs get that long?

She withdraws her foot when I blush, and I glare at her for taking the foot away. I'm feeling a little silly myself today, so the glare doesn't last long. "So have you thought about the book offer?"

Lara got an offer a few weeks ago to produce a book based on our experiences on Yamatai. She's naturally reluctant, but I think writing it might do her a world of good. And since she's always so keen on earning her keep, the money from it might be useful. She's been on the occasional lecture, but mostly just tending bars again since we got back from Peru.

"It might be good for you. It's been long enough, hasn't it?" I still have nightmares, I can still feel Himiko trying to claw her way into me but that happens once, maybe twice a month now. I'm healing. I want her to heal, too.

"I've drafted the introduction," she admits. I'm surprised, and sit up straighter. "I wanted to be very clear on what that place did to us. The level of madness inflicted on and by the people who washed up on Yamatai's shores. Someone has to tell that story, and it should be me. It won't shut up all the speculation, but it'll help."

She looks and sounds reluctant, and I reach across the table to take her hand. "We can talk about something else."

"It's all right, Sam. I don't really feel...anything about it any more. It's more of a dull ache, now." I search her eyes, and I don't think she's lying.

"Yeah, I don't see that killer in your eyes when we talk about Yamatai anymore."

Lara's eyes widen, and she's already on her feet and rushing to the bathroom by the time I realize how she might take it. "Lara!"

I chase after her and find her in the ladies room. It's really not like Lara to run from something. I must have hit a nerve or something. She's hunched over the sink, and I approach cautiously."

"Lara, I didn't mean-" She turns around and glares hurtfully at me. I hold up my hands. "We both know what you did on that island. I know a lot better what that means now. It doesn't mean you're any less my best friend and soul mate. It just means there's an edge to you, and it's dulled now. You're not innocent."

"What am I then? You're right. I'm a killer. I'm not really human any more. God, I..."

"You are human." My voice cracks. Her tone is so harsh that I realize that the nerve I hit on is one that has been festering for a long time. I touch her, and she jerks away, so I grab her arm and then pull it around me. "I love you, nothing changes that, nothing will ever change that. I'm a killer too. Do you think there's no hope for me?"

She looks sharply at me, "Of course there's hope for you."

"Then there's hope for you."

"Sam, I killed dozens of men. All to survive, all to get to you and protect you and Reyes and Jonah and Alex and… I failed some of you. It wasn't enough to save everyone." I bring my hands to her face as she speaks.

"Saving one innocent person should be enough,right? Those men were crazed. They'd lost any shred of humanity they had left, it was a mercy."

Lara's eyes close, and she sags against me a little. I pet her face and keep talking. "I'm sorry I said that, I'm sorry it hurt you. I'm….you don't have to forgive me."

"I forgive you, Sam." There's a quiver in her voice. " I don't even know why it hit me like that, I honestly didn't think I thought about it that much. Digging up the memories for that book, months of inactivity...maybe it just...was the last crack that broke me. "

She isn't broken. I kiss her to prove that and because I'm being a dumbass with words tonight. It doesn't take long before she's kissing me back. Her cheeks are wet. I hug her so tightly, then guide her into a stall. I want to heal her, and salve over the wounds I've caused. I feel her hands on me, pulling my dress up, and I smile against her lips.