She drove to Regina's. The light was on in the office, so she was glad she was up. She parked her car and carefully walked up the pathway. She knocked on the door. She heard Regina answer. Surprise dotted her face. "Ms. Swan," She said. "Hi Regina." Emma said. "What are you doing here so late at night?" She asked. Emma laughed sadly. "I need you to give this to Henry. And my parents and anyone else I wrote to okay?" I asked feeling tears in my eyes.
"You're leaving?" she asked. Emma nodded. "I'm drowning here Regina. I can't stay here being like this and burdening the people around me. I won't be gone forever, just for a little while," Emma said. She looked at her before nodding. "Alright, what should I tell Henry?" She asked. "I think it's time you told him that you got full custody," Emma said touching her arm. Regina had fought dirtily for Henry, and ended up getting him. Emma had fought so hard, but Regina had names in the town that she didn't. Regina seemed surprised but nodded. "Tell him I love him, and that I know he doesn't love me right now, but it's for the best," She said.
Regina actually looked upset. Emma sighed. "Thank you. Take care of yourself okay?" Emma asked. Regina nodded. Emma pulled the woman in for a hug. "Thank you for doing what I couldn't." Emma whispered and Regina felt tears stinging in her eyes. Emma turned and left. She got in her car, crying the whole way, but she passed the sign for Storybrooke and didn't look back.
She's gone for a year. A year intent on finding herself, and getting rid of the tragedy that sickened her life. She finds out some things about herself by seeking phone calls with Archie. He becomes her therapist as she describes everything that happened to her. He diagnoses her as seriously depressed and sends her medication to her apartment in Boston.
She gets better shortly after. He also helps her work through her abandonment issues. She's feeling better, better than ever. She's healthy, she's going to get there, but she's still reeling in pain over Killian. Her heart still aches each night with the thought, she wasn't good enough. She was the best girl until he met another and she understood that he had emotions and opinions. It didn't mean that she agreed with them, but she understood. She realizes that humans are broken shards of hearts and broken promises, and she's praying he'll come back.
The first week, after she had left, before she had called Archie, she had prayed he'd wake up and go find her. He could leave Storybrooke, he had proven that when going after his revenge. He never came. Each night, she would dress up in her best and sit on the couch, holding an empty wine glass in her hands, and praying to God he'd come bursting in the door and tell her he was sorry. He never did.
He didn't call. He didn't text. He didn't write. No one did. Except one. A letter came one day, it was from Gold.
Ms. Swan,
Hello. I suppose this letter may come as a surprise to you, especially as you read what the content speaks of, but I thought you should know. You left maybe five months ago, leaving us all letters, you asked me a favor. Don't kill Hook until you returned. I thought for a very long time, on why, why would you ask me this? Why would you, Emma Swan, a tough girl with a tough exterior ask me to save a villans life? And it hit me: You love him.
I judged this love for days. I spoke of it with Regina and your mother, and both seemed leary of why, but I realized love comes in the most oddest of forms. Belle chose to love me in my darkest days, as you have done with Hook. He came to me, many a times looking to spur me on, and I never killed him.
I asked him one time, as he stood bloodied and bleeding profusely and I the same, and asked him, "Was her love not good enough boy?" He seemed confused, and it took the theif- sorry, Pirate, a moment and he realized it was about you. "She never loved me like she claimed," He spat back. Now, do not be disheartened. He's as broken as you were, I am sure you are very damaged now after his affair with the wolf girl (I'll speak of her in a moment). I had an object, that could show the love of a person, only if they showed mutual feelings. I brought it to him. I showed him. You're his true love. But he didn't believe me.
A few weeks later he asked the wolf girl to marry him and I must ask, are you willing to let true love die like that? Or will you fight? Miss Swan it is all up to you, but true love deserves a chance.
All the best
-Rumplestiltskin
Emma stared at the letter for a long time, unsure, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to do. How could you answer that. Emma had cried a lot, that was sure. But she knew. She understood what she had to do. She chose the choice that was the most unselfish in her eyes.
Mr. Gold,
He deserves happiness. It's hard to forget someone who made so many memories with you. But if you really love someone, you'll know when to let go and make them happy.
Best wishes.
-Emma.
She stared at the wedding invitation he had given her, and all she thought of was, 'As long as he's smiling and happy, that's all that matters'.
The day he and Ruby were married, Emma had counted down, Emma cried the whole day on her couch.
After a year in hiding, she drove to Storybrooke, intent on finding him. Instead, all she saw from the town was trees. She had lost it. "NO!" She yelled. She took her spare flashlight, and a phone and started to run. "MOM! DAD! HENRY! KILLIAN!" She shouted. She was running through thick forest. "MOM PLEASE!" She cried. She was crying, dying on the inside.
"PLEASE YOU CAN'T GO!" She shouts. She is standing in the middle of a clearing where there should be something anything. And she feels the bullet pierce her lung and then she's falling. And it hurts. God-everything hurts so much. "Emma?" A voice asks. She can't make out who it is, but she wonders if it matters. She's falling to the floor, the cold, snowy winter ground colliding with her body.
She see's her blood drip out into, onto the snow, seeping in. A wicked thought, that her mother was once like this too.
She's gasping. The person picks her up. She knows them-who is it? Neal. It's Neal. "Emma," He says. And suddenly she's in Storybrooke. She hears people gasping as Neal is running her, sprinting her to the hospital and she hears her mother's strangled cry and Emma wants to cry, because God-she missed her mother.
"WHAT HAPPENED?" Mary Margaret yells. Neal is still running. "Stop," She gasps. "My mother," She says. "Emma you're dying," Neal says. Emma shakes her head. "I want to die with him, my son and Killian, please," She begs. And Neal stops. Emma's bled onto his shirt, but she looks at him. "Fine." He says. He turns around and runs to the harbor, shouting to Mary Margaret. "HENRY. Get him. She asked for this, bring him to Hook's ship." Neal says. Mary Margaret looks to Emma. "I won't die on you yet MOM," Emma gasps.
She nods and Mary Margaret takes off, praying to God her daughter will be alright. Neal runs her to the harbor, where Hook's ship beautifully floats. "Hold on beautiful," He says. She's gasping again. "HOOK!" Neal shouts. Killian runs onto the deck, and Emma swears he's taken what's left of the breath out of her chest and she lets her hand fall limp. It hurts. everywhere.
"NO EMMA!" Neal yells. He drops her to the deck and puts a hand over her wound to compress the amount of blood gushing. She's gasping and Killian moves Neal to the side. "Emma," Killian says. She puts her hypothermic hands, shakily to his face. "How is it possible for someone to be even more beautiful than the last time I saw him?" She asks, she notices the blood on her hands. She's just covered in the stuff. The pain has faded.
"I'd say the same for you love," He says. "MOM!" Henry yells. Killian stands up. "NO!" Emma shrieks. Her chest is bleeding. "STOP THE BLEEDING!" She hears someone yell. She looks to Henry. She takes her bloody, shaking hand to his face. "My boy, my darling baby boy," She whispers, a smile coming to her face. "Mom, you're gonna be fine," Henry says starting to cry. "I am so," She says gasping through pain. "PROUD of you," She says.
Dr. Whale rushes on board. "I can save her!" He says. He's trying, she'll admit that. Finally, her heart is thumping it's last beats. She see's Killian's blurry image. "I've loved you since the day I was born." She manages to squeeze out through her breath. Dr. Whale puts a mask over her mouth. Air is rushing through her lungs.
Her mother is crying on her father's shoulder. David is crying too. Henry cries on a teary Regina and Hook stands there. She feels nothing as Whale operates. She knows she'll die. Her eyes are fluttering closed.
She struggles back to life four days later. She's in a hospital bed. Constant attention looming around her, making sure she is okay. Her lung was punctured severly, but with an amount of stitching she would recover. Killian hadn't left her side. He hadn't wanted to. No one could coax him into leaving. It felt like a part of him had died. THe image of her gaspig and bleeding out on his desk haunted him. She had come back. She was here. She almost died, but she was here.
Now she just needed to wake up.
Her eyes opened to a white sterile light blinding her and she gasped, grabbing oxygen into her lungs. She instantly starts to cough. She sees stitches and bandages covering her body and an oxygen tank feeding her. She feels her bandage around her cracked ribs.
She turns her head to the side and is surprised to find a sleeping Killian. His hand rests over hers. She runs her fingers over the tops of his hands. Is it possible for someone to become even more beautiful since the last time you saw them? "Killian," She whispered. He stirred slightly. His eyes sleepily opened.
She was staring at the ocean. He looked tired, less lively than when she last saw him. "Emma," He says, his eyes open. "Hi," She says simply, it hurts to talk. He has tears burning in his eyes. "God Killian, you look like you haven't slept in years," She says. She moves over. He gets in the bed next to her carefully and she lays on his chest.
His hand runs over her arm. "I'm so sorry," He whispers. "Just a flesh wound," She said in a wheez. "Emma," He said looking at her crumpled form. Her body was thin, her skin drawn tightly over her bones. "You haven't been taking care of yourself love," He whispers. She lets out a strangled breath.
"I have nothing to take care of myself for," She said in the saddest voice he'd ever heard. Her eyes blanked in pain. There was a knock on the door. Ruby stood at the door looking at them. "Emma," She said. Emma didn't say anything, just stared at the ring on her finger. A pain shot through her chest, and she gasped.
Doctors rushed into her room but she could only stare at Killian and Ruby holding each other.