LET ME SLIP AWAY

Author's Notes: Takes place in the wake of episodes 25 and 26 of Slayers TRY.

The two of us had an understanding.

He knew that, "When this is over, will you come back to Seyruun with me?" really meant, "Will you stay with me forever?"

When he smiled and said, "I'll think about it," I knew that meant, "yes."

Honestly, even with my optimistic nature, I didn't think we would survive the battle against Valgarv and Darkstar/Volphied. So I guess, in a way, I was also letting him know my true feelings. Not that he hadn't already figured it out long ago, being a smart guy and all.

Still, when the battle was over and we had survived against all odds again, I felt a little nervous about what I had asked. I was afraid he had forgotten already, or that he would be uncomfortable around me when he escorted me home. Luckily, neither of those things came to pass.

Lina and Gourry stopped just outside the gates of the white magic capital and looked at us.

"I think we're gonna head out," Lina said with a wink at me. "Gourry and I have a lot of road to cover. We have to find him a new sword, after all."

I ran at the woman who was more like a big sister to me than my actual big sister, and threw myself into her arms.

"I'll miss you, Lina-san," I said as tears stung my eyes. I felt Gourry patting my head as I clung to Lina.

"We'll miss you too," Lina said, pushing me back a bit so we could look at each other. "But you don't need us right now."

She shot a knowing look over at Zelgadis, who blushed and turned his head away in embarrassment.

She was right, in a way. The beautiful man I desperately loved had come home with me, so there was nothing else I needed in the whole world.

In the three years since I'd known him, I often wondered if I was just as cursed as he was. He, stuck with the inhuman body given to him by someone he once trusted; and me, stuck with the knowledge that I loved him so much I would gladly die if it meant he could live.

I'm sure all my friends would have been shocked to hear such a morbid thought coming from me, the silly justice freak princess, but it was true.

Actually, he wouldn't have been surprised in the least. Because of our understanding, you see.

That's why, after nearly a month of living at the castle with me, I easily noticed that he was becoming restless.

I found him in the library, sitting on the floor, angrily flinging books against the wall.

"Zelgadis-san?" I all but whispered. He stopped his tirade and kept still, his back facing me.

After what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

"Amelia, I can't do this anymore. I can't do this to you."

I couldn't help but smile. It's not as if I hadn't known it was coming. He was like a shooting star, blazing across the sky. You can't predict when or where it will fall, and you certainly can't keep it.

I walked up to him and gently wrapped my arms around his neck, resting them gingerly on his tense shoulders. I rested my chin on the top of his head at a place near the part in his hair, where the sharp ends wouldn't prick me.

"You're not doing anything to me except making me happy," I said. I felt his shoulders relax a bit. He had already grown accustomed to being more open with me, even though most of our words still hid meanings that only we would understand. He had also grown accustomed to my touch, because I made a point to hold his hand under the dinner table, away from the prying eyes of the imperial council. Not to mention the nights I snuck into his room and we explored each other, going just far enough for comfort, but leaving the last bits of intimacy for marriage.

Marriage was one thing we never discussed, but we didn't have to. I also knew that subject was what brought him to this point, covered in dust on the library floor.

I felt him grab my arms and lift them away, then pull me down and adjust me on his lap.

His rough hand touched my cheek, then he lifted my chin and kissed me with the softness and love only he could provide.

I pushed harder against him and felt him respond, but soon he ended the kiss and looked at me. His eyes were blue, like mine, but he always said mine were the color of the summer sky at midnight, while I said his must be the color of a clear winter sky at dawn. Perfectly matched. Perfect opposites. That was us, all right.

"You don't have to go," I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. I thought I had been better prepared for this moment, but I felt the tears stinging my eyes as I looked at him.

"I have to," he said, coming so close our noses were almost touching. I resisted the urge to kiss him again. "Don't think for a second I want to. But I need to do right by you, and I can't give you the happiness you deserve until I figure myself out."

I nodded and was a bit surprised to see the tears that sprinkled down with the movement of my head.

Softly, in the way only he could, Zelgadis lowered his head and kissed the tears off my cheeks. It felt like his tongue was leaving a trail of fire in its wake. I ignored the desire spreading through me, because even if I had thrown myself on top of him and yelled 'take me now!' it wouldn't have changed his mind.

So I did what any other self-respecting princess would do. I removed one of the enchanted bracelets I always wore and pressed it into his hand.

"To remember me by," I said, placing a feather-light kiss on his cheek.

That's all I had to say. I didn't have to say 'I love you' or even 'goodbye.'

Because the two of us have this understanding that goes far beyond words.

He knew I was really saying, "I'll wait for you, even if it takes a lifetime."

And I knew he would never make me wait that long.