A/N - Man, how time flies! No apologies really though, I hadn't had an urge to write anymore to this story until recently. Thank you for following it and thank you to Ms. Collins and Ms. James for the characters.

KPOV

I'm sitting next to Christian, eating my piece of rabbit and watching as everyone talks about who has and hasn't been in the woods before. Gail wants to take a small hike in the morning with Taylor and Christian is fine with it, mocking her that he doesn't know how to make anything.

I smile because Gail is ready to swat Christian upside the head, like a mother would do to a smart mouthed child and I wonder for a brief second if that's how she feels about him in some way. Like he is her child and she must take care of him despite his odd hobbies. She's obviously known him a long time and I know he has parents; I just haven't met them yet. I wish my mother would treat me like Gail treated him, with some semblance of love. But instead I get riddles about her thrown at me. I don't even know who she is anymore; I can't say that we've known each other for quite some time now. I'm not sure yet how much it bothers me.

I am looking forward to Haymitch's reaction to Christian however. And Johanna's to be honest. She was going to be staying in my house, maybe clear out a few things, I told her to be smart about it and not give away everything that belonged to Peeta, but a few things could go. She would also inherit Haymitch in a sense since he often came into the house drunk and rambling on about how I needed to get out and be a person again. He'd be happy seeing me right now. And I realize that while he thought I could never deserve a man as good as Peeta, that maybe he'd be okay with Christian because he isn't anywhere as near as good as Peeta was. Not to say he isn't a very different man than what I was expecting, but just that from what I heard, he isn't as sweet or forgiving as Peeta. He can talk just as well as him though and that is comforting.

I'm just watching them when I realize that someone has asked me a question. I shake my head, waking myself from the thoughts in my mind and say, "What?"

There's a little rumble of laughter through the group and Gail repeats herself, "I was just wondering, Katniss, if you don't mind talking about it, that you miss about hunting regularly?"

"Oh. Uhh, well, just being outside daily. I mean, the Capitol's nice and all, but it's not the same. I don't even recall seeing real grass or many trees. It's not as...ummm, I don't know, open?" I look at Christian, as if he can figure out what I'm trying to say. I look back at Gail and she nods her head, she understood what I was trying to say. "I know District 12 was generally looked at as a poor district and it is still compared to the districts closer to the Capitol, but it's still home, sort of."

"What do you mean, "sort of?"?" Gail wonders, whether it was meant to be aloud or not, I don't really know, but I'll answer anyway. I don't mind it, not with Christian by me.

He takes a hold of my small hand in his and squeezes it, shaking his head as if telling me I don't have to answer the seemingly prying question. I raise my shoulders and explain, "Well, since Peeta died, home kind of lost its meaning."

"I'm sorry Katniss; you don't have to say anymore." The older woman responds quickly.

"It's okay, Christian and I have talked about, and it doesn't hurt as much when someone else has basically gone through something similar." I look over at him and he nods his auburn head, a small smile on his lips. While I want to explain further, a bigger part of me just wants to hold his face in my hands and kiss him until we can't breathe properly. I slide myself closer to him and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. "I went through the same thing after the war, or revolution, whichever you want to call it; where I was barely eating or moving. Hadn't showered for a long time. That was because of what happened to my sister and Peeta wasn't back yet. But it changed when he was sent back home. Things started slowly getting back to some sort of normal, for us anyways. I mean, how normal could we be after having gone through two sets of Games and a war and not even being eighteen yet?"

Christian pulls me in tighter to him, but I straighten my back and look at everyone listening, I don't need him to coddle me, I'm a grown woman now, having had loved ones ripped away from me is nothing new, I just rarely talk about it. I pat his leg and continue. "He built another bakery, I started hunting again. We got married; we had a good life again there for a few years. It's kind of funny the way he died when you think about, literally going out in a ball of flames."

I can't finish after that and the tears form in my eyes. I shake my head again, "I'm sorry, maybe I'm not as ready as I thought I was to talk about it. I'm going to wash up again and then go to sleep. It's been a really long day."

No one questions me or even tries to stop me, though I do notice Gail's look of sympathy towards me and then a look to Christian, as if she's sorry she mentioned it. I walk away from them, grabbing a flashlight as I head back towards the lake we had found. I need to clear my head and getting into cold water should do the trick. I didn't bring any soap with me but I don't even care, stripping off my clothes as I see the water's edge coming up and throw the flashlight on top of the pile.

I don't hesitate just walking into it, the feel of smooth rocks under my feet and chilly water ready to push all thoughts of sadness away. I walk out a bit further, the water not very deep at all and wait until it covers my breasts, my skin already pebbled with goosebumps, before I dunk under with eyes closed. I float under for a moment, extending my hands out around me, feeling for nothing and everything at the same time. When I pop my head back up, the moon high enough to give me enough light to see the water's shore, where Christian is waiting, shirtless. When he spots me, he tears off the rest of his clothing and walks in.

"Holy shit! How did you come in here, its freezing!" He cries out as he continues his way to me.

I laugh, running my hands through my hair, pulling it away from my face, "No one told you to follow me."

When he finally gets to me, holding his arms out, I don't hesitate to walk right into them and he hugs me tightly to him. His warmth is what I need right now, just like I always needed Peeta's light. I was always so cold and dark and these two entirely different men have somehow managed to give me the things I don't naturally have on my own, but didn't know I needed until I was with them. I begin crying softly in Christian's strong arms as he rubs my back, letting me know without saying anything that it's going to be okay, that he isn't going anywhere. But I thought the same with Peeta once we had finished that war. I thought that I wouldn't have to worry about losing another person I had grown to love far more than I thought that I could. I vow to myself right then and there, that no matter how much I love Christian right now, how much more I can possibly love him as we go on with this relationship, that I won't go into a dark place if he is taken away from me. I can't do that to myself again, never again.

I look up at Christian, into his matching gray eyes and do what I wanted to earlier. Taking his face between my hands, I pull his face down to mine and kiss him deeply and tenderly, letting his warmth fill me up inside and out.