EDITED, RE POSTED JAN 22
Title: Twisted Twilight
Author: Midnight
Beta: Moonlite
Synopses: A different version of Twilight. What if Renee never married Phil, but John Reed, a local cop. John is actually an alcoholic, and is abusive to Bella and Renee. It's after a brutal attack, that Bella decides to go to Forks to live with her Father. As Bella's life experiences have changed, so has our beloved story. See how!
Rating: T
Chapter: Seven
Chapter Title: Invitations
Warning: Includes mention of violence, and rape.
Authors Note: I'm glad the last chapter was so well received. I'd really like to throw an extra shout out to everyone who has taken the time to review. Also, I made this one a little longer to make up for the delay, but it was written at like 2-5am, so I apologize for typeos.
Special Thanks: dolphingirl79, Drama Kagome, Crystallized Hope, -Azn-Grl-Twilight-Fan-, Fiery Dragon164, RoryAceHayden147, Koori Youkai Hime, PurpleBookWorm, A is for Angelx2, Little Silver Rose, twilight wolves, Paw Print Pajamas, mikan kisses
I woke up holding my throat, and shaking like crazy. But I wasn't screaming; I was muttering like a mad man. "Please, no- not Edward. Not Edward."
"It's okay Bella," the musical voice said, cold air lightly brushing my ear. Suddenly I realized someone had their arms wrapped around me. "It's going to be alright." A strong hand rubbed my back slowly, comforting.
I didn't say anything- I was too scared it was a dream. Instead I just lifted my own arms, and wrapped them around his chest, and rested my head on his shoulder. For some reason, I didn't feel frightened of the closeness, or of him touching me. It was different, not about wanting the body but the soul. Wanting to help, not hurt. Something I don't think I'd experienced before from a man.
He smelled incredible; it was undescribable. After awhile my breathing slowed, and the shaking stopped. Very carefully, he laid me back down well I clung him. Softly his hand stroked my hair. Once I was down, he pulled the covers back over me. Drowsiness started taking effect, and I closed my eyes.
I reached out for his hand, but he was gone. My eyes shot open, and I scanned the room. No where. Had I simply dreamt the whole thing.
The next day was a complete blur. I woke up, went to school, came home. On the bright side, my check from the insurance company came that morning, along with one from my mother for $15,000.00 with a note: Aunt Maria's estate came in, get something nice. I suppose that I would have been more excited, if I had been able to comprehend it. But my mind was else where; both in the horrific nightmare, and the strange meeting.
Had I dreamt the whole thing, had I become delusional? Should I take myself to hospital? They'll only lock you up.
I knew there was something greater going on; something I was missing. It was right in front of me, and yet just outside my grasp. A part of me absolutely knew I wasn't crazy. Edward Cullen had been in my room.
Beside's the money, the other thing that stood out was a vaguely from the morning and school, was a memory of Mike mentioning that the beach trip would seen be possible. I thought he was completely wrong; it was still pouring rain and a small amount of snow still on the ground.
When I got home, Jessica reminded me of another upcoming event. And it was glaring at me with narrowed eyes. She called me to ask permission to invite Mike to the girl's choice spring dance in two weeks.
"Are you sure you don't mind... you weren't planning to ask him?" she persisted when I told her I didn't care in the least. To be honest, it was weight off my chest. One less puppy dog to worry about. Or to disappoint. Or whatever.
"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured her. Dancing was feverishly outside of my range of abilities.
"It will be really fun." Her attempt to convince me was halfhearted. I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more that my actual company.
"You have fun with Mike," I encouraged.
"It wont be weird?"
"Zero weirdness," I said, "you two are great together."
"I know, eh?" Beside's, there was someone else consuming my thoughts. And he wasn't at school.
The next day, I was surprised that Jessica wasn't her usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. She was silent as she walked by my side between classes, and I was afraid to ask her why. If Mike had turned her down, I was the last person she would want to tell. And he was the last person I wanted to see.
My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jessica sat as far from Mike as possible, chatting animatedly with Eric. I kept my head down, pretending I didn't feel so good. Mike was unusually quite.
Mike was still quite as he walked me to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't broach the subject until I was in my seat and he was perching on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware that Edward was back, and sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if were merely an invention of imagination. I wanted to look at him, as if to make sure that he was alive. My stomach twisted with the thought of his blood, everywhere.
"Bella, you okay?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, indigestion. I told you at lunch, I'm not feeling 100%."
"You sure?" I nodded twice. A moment passed.
"So," Mike said, looking at the floor, "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."
"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. I did not want to have this conversation. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."
"Well..." He floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my enthusiasm. Here it comes, I thought. "I told her I had to think about it."
"Why would you do that?" I let disapproval color my tone, along with some of my frustration. The good thing was he hadn't given her an absolute no.
His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook my resolve.
"I was wondering if... well, if you might be planning to ask me." He mumbled. I paused for a long moment, gaging his expression.
A wave of guilt came over me. But I saw, from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction.
"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," I said.
"Did you already ask someone?" Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes flickered in his direction?
"No," I assured him. "I'm not going to the dance at all."
"Why not?" Mike demanded.
I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented, so I quickly made new plans.
"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained. I needed to get out of town any ways to look at cars. Suddenly it was the perfect time to go.
"Can't you go some other weekend?"
"Sorry, no," I said. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer- it's rude."
"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. Mr. Banner began talking. I sighed and opened my eyes.
And Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration eve more distinct now in his black eyes. His eyes where black again. My eyes danced down to his neck- not even a shaving scar. Didn't every guy have at least one?
I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away. He was so pale, like he was dead. And he was cold that one day. In fact, I hadn't felt any body heat from him at all last night. Everything here was impossible, I knew that. And yet, it seemed so true.
I titled my head, looking at him with the same estranged curious gaze. I had to resist the urge to touch his face.
"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question I hadn't heard. It was like the classroom suddenly reappeared.
"The Krebs cycle," Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner.
I looked down at my book as soon as Edward looked away. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More that pathetic, it was unhealthy. It was scary. I couldn't stand another man having control over me. But it wasn't control, was it? Wasn't this optional?
My stomach twisted in knots, and my mind ran in circles. I was starting to actually feel ill.
I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.
"Bella?" His voice washed over me, causing a strange calm. Unnatural. It was like a childhood friend I'd know, who'd comforted me for years. Not someone I'd known for a few months, and had been the cause for turmoil. None the less, it caught me by surprise.
Very slowly, I turned around to face him. I was reluctant too; I didn't want to feel, what I knew I was going to feel, when I looked at him all too perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything.
"Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, my voice soft yet intense.
His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "I'm not really succeeding at that," he admitted. I nodded slowly, allowing myself the time to be able to control my emotions when I spoke. I inhaled slowly.
"What do you want, Edward?" I asked, keeping my eyes close; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.
"I'm sorry about this." He sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this was, really."
I opened my eyes. His face was stern.
"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice guarded. Had he noticed my unnatural attraction to him?
"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."
"Ha," I laughed without humor. My eyes narrowed. "I've heard that before."
"I'm sorry." He looked almost like he was in pain.
"Yeah, well- it's too late now isn't it?" I looked eyes with him for a moment, over whelmed with emotion. There was something he was hiding, and there was something I was hiding. We both knew pieces, but not the whole story. I closed my eyes as the image of his body, soaked in his own blood flashed in my mind.
"You don't seriously think I regret saving your life, do you?" He face went through several emotions; frustrated, angry, and sad.
"No," I looked down at the desk, "but you regret getting involved."
"You don't know anything." He was definitetly mad.
"I'm not staying you wouldn't do it; you did do it." I clenched my jaw, and refused to look at him again. I realized that the entire class was gone, except Mr. Banner, so I hurried to get out of the room. Last thing I needed was to walk into gym late, Mike would probably stare daggers into my chest.
I meant to sweep dramatically out of the room, like he did on a regular bases, but of course I caught the toe of my boot on the doorjamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, honestly thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and ben to pick them up. He was there; he'd already stacked them into a pile. He handed them to me, his face hard. I shock my head slowly, saddened by his anger. I was too damn tired and confused to be angry. "Thank you." I said, my voice exasperated.
"You're welcome."
I took my books from him, and looked over to the parking lot, particularly to where the accident had been. "Life is different then books, Edward. In books its about the character, in life it's about people, and people always have a detailed back story." I wasn't sure if what I said even made sense, but I walked away before he could ask.
Gym class was terrible. We moved to basket ball, my least favorite of sports. I clung to the edge of the court, and moved out of the way of the ball. No one passed the ball to me, which was good, but I still feel down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse then normal because my head was so filled Edward. I tried to concentrate on my thoughts, but every time I seemed to get my footing again, he came back.
As per usual, it was a relief when Coach Clapp blew the whistle, and released us. I changed in a daze, and almost ran to the truck; later on I realized that someone was talking to me in the change room and I completely walked away from them without saying a word. I didn't even remember who it was.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Honestly, I thought it was John. But just as I was about to scream, I realized it was just Eric.
"Hey Bella," he greeted cheerfully.
"Hey," I said, well unlocking the door, "what's up?"
Had I been paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, I would have recognized it as the same as Mike's, and thus wouldn't have been surprised by what he said.
"Uh, I was just wondering... if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke on his last word.
"I thought it was the girls' choice?" I asked, dancing around the question.
"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefully.
I recovered my composure and I tried to make a warm smile. "Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."
"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."
"Sure," I agreed, and then bit my lip. I wouldn't want him to take that too literally.
Eric walked away, back towards the school. I hoped I had been diplomatic enough, so that he wasn't too upset. I heard a low chuckle.
Edward was walking past the front of my truck, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. I rolled my eyes, and hoped into the truck. The engine revved to life, deafeningly loud. I checked my mirrors, and reversed out into the aisle. I'll admit I loved the truck, but it just didn't have the same level of life and speed as the civic did. Edward was already in his car, two spaces down, and reversed out smoothly to cut me off. Very nice, Cullen,I thought. Then he stopped there, waiting for his siblings. I looked around and saw the four of them walking over, but they where way over by the cafeteria. Was he trying to piss me off?
I would have tried going around him, but he had pulled the Volvo just enough into the center so that the truck wouldn't fit. I could have rear-ended him, but their where too many witnesses, besides, I didn't really care that much. In my rear-view mirror Tyler was waving frantically. I let out an annoyed sigh, well aware of what was coming next as he pulled himself out of the van. His van survived, a little dented, but alive- unlike my poor car.
I squeezed my eyes together in frustration, then rolled down my window. "Hey, sorry about the hold up- I'm being blocked by Cullen."
"That's cool, I know- besides, it gave me a chance to ask you-"
"About the dance?" I asked, with a bored expression.
"Yeah." He smiled sheepishly. I'll admit, he was the bravest of them all.
"Sorry, I'm going to be in Seattle that Saturday, and no there's no other time I can go, I'm sorry." Okay, I was a little temperamental, but today had been a roller coaster for my emotions, and my brain couldn't take much more of it. All I wanted to do was go drown myself in the shower. Can't go to the dance, can't sleep, can't dream, can't hallucinate, can't do anything- if you're dead. I tried to look calm however; it wasn't his fault Mike and Eric had used up my quota of patients for the day.
"Yeah, Mike said that." He shrugged.
"Then why did you ask?" Okay, this was completely his fault.
"Thought you might have been letting them down easy, or something." He smiled. I almost yelled in frustration.
"Sorry." I said curtly.
"That's cool, we still have prom!" He waved, and ran back to his car. I really, really hoped he was kidding. Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie where all climbing into the Volvo in front of me, and Edward's eyes where on me in the read view mirror; he was unquestionably shaking with laughter. It was like he'd heard every single word. I honked, and he took off.
When I got home, the phone was ringing. I dashed it, and grabbed it out of breath; "Hello?"
"Isabella Swan, how dare you not call me! You're hurting my feelings, Bella. It's time for you to come home, this whole mess is absolutely radicals, and you're being absurd. More then that, you're not acting like yourself. Are you doing this just to spite me? I know you hate Forks, you can't lie." Renee's voice was loud, starlings, and more of all, infuriating. She had a lot of nerve to call me, and yell at me, for something completely her fault. If she'd never married that jerk in the first place, none of this would have happened.
Okay, this wasn't her fault. But shouldn't see feel some sort of guilt for this? Some sort of pain, sorrow, something, anything?
At least I knew she was alive. "Well?" she demanded a minute later.
"Actually, I don't."
"I beg your pardon? Don't what?"
"A lot of things," I started, feeling my temper starting to flare up, "I don't need to come home, because I am home. I don't stay here to spite you. I don't care if your feelings are hurt. I don't care if John's dead; in fact, I'd prefer it, and I don't hate Forks!"
"You don't mean that-"
"I mean every word of it!" I was starting to scream, and my eyes where burning, "That place stopped being home when John came! You stopped being you when John came! So yeah, I want him dead! And yes, I actually like Forks! It's simple, and people are kind, and I don't have to go home terrified of being RAPED!" I hung up the phone, and collapsed into a ball on the floor. In a matter seconds I was bawling and shaking.
I hated her, I hated her, I hated her!
All of this was pitiful, and angering. He'd completely broken me, and just as I thought I was pulling myself together and moving forward, all of it was thrown back into my face. Constantly I was being pushed back into that fire, because I couldn't stand up for myself. I couldn't fight for myself. That was the first time I stood up for myself in a long time. And it felt good.
Shakily, I rose to my feet. My heart was pounding, and my mind was racing.
The phone rang again, and without thinking I grabbed the portable phone, and threw it into the laundry room at full force. There was a solid thud as it hit the far wall.
You've reached Charlie and Bella, leave a message. Huh, Dad changed the message.
Hey Bella, it's Jess. You must be doing laundry or something, and can't make it to the phone; any ways, it's really important that you call me back, asap! Her voice was extremely happy. It was the product of being normal.
I was angry, but not calling her back would probably just hurt her feelings. I assumed I knew the premise for the call, Mike had accepted, which would mean I wouldn't really have to talk much, so I reluctantly called her back.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jess, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call; I was out in the backyard. What's up?" I sounded surprisingly normal, like nothing have ever happened. Apparently I was a better actress then I'd given myself credit for. Then again I'd spent the last three years pretending I was fine, so I guess that just came naturally now.
"Mike accepted my invitation!" She cheered. Jessica was absolutely jubilant; there was no other word to describe it. However she couldn't stay long because she wanted to call Angela, the shy girl from my Bio class, and Lauren, a girl who completely ignored me.
Innocently I suggested that Angela invite Eric, and Lauren, Tyler. Jess agreed that, that would be a great idea, getting more exciting by the minute. I'll admit, it was easy to act normal around Jess, because she was so normal. The only problem with that was, when she hung up, reality crashed down on me like a pile of daggers.
I sat down the couch in order to take everything in about what my mother had said. I was so infuriated, because it was completely irrational. John must have her completely brain washed- convinced the whole thing never even took place.
But soon, surprisingly given how angry I was, my thoughts shifted to Edward. It was like a drug I couldn't get out of system, that I couldn't stop thinking about. What did he mean, it would be better if we weren't friends?
I was worried, but completely sure, that what he meant was that he didn't want to lead me on, so we shouldn't be friends. It made my stomach twist in knots. He wasn't interested in me at all, which made sense- I wasn't interesting. I was completely messed up, and emotionally disturbed, but not interesting in a good way.
He was. Edward was interesting... and brilliant... and mysterious... and beautiful... and perfect... and possible able to lift full sized vans with one hand.
I sighed in frustration. That was fine, I was able to leave him alone. I would leave him along. It would be better for him that way, any ways- even if he was, which he totally wasn't- interested. I was a ticking time bomb for a relationship. I've got more insecurities, paranoia problems, and now possibly more delusional tendencies, then any well balanced teenage girl in history. Clearly, I wasn't balanced.
That's where I was when Charlie came home; sitting on the couch staring bitterly out the window. My right foot was tapping, agitated, my eyes narrowed, arms crossed, and breathing shallow. He seemed genuinely scared to walk over to me. But, very slowly, he made his approach.
"Bella? Are you alright?"
"Renee called." I said, my voice low. Last thing I wanted to tell him was that I'd actually spent all this time obsessing over a completely gorgeous and unattainable guy because of my complete average looks, and emotional disturbances. "She say's I'm being unreasonable, and need to come home. I told her I was home, and I've done the most reasonable thing of my life; take control of it."
"You did the right thing." Charlie sat down on the love seat, and stared out the window with me. Neither or us said anything for awhile.
"I'm going to Seattle on Saturday," I said, completely out of left field.
"Why?" He sounded surprised, but didn't seem to take offense to my telling, not asking attitude. I wondered if it had anything to do with me talking about taking control of my life.
"Well, I wanted to find a few books- the library here is pretty limited- get some new clothing, look at cars, mostly. I got the check for the insurance company today, it was a surprisingly $22,000.00, plus Aunt Maria's estate came in, so I've got some extra money. I think I'm going to get a solid car; I was actually thinking about a Volvo." I wonder why?
"They're good cars- get the best safety rating all the time. Supposed to be the safest car on the road; just what you need." Charlie smiled playfully. "Are you going all by yourself?"
"Yes."
"Seattle's a big city- you could get lost," he fretted.
"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle- and I can read a map, don't worry."
"The truck probably doesn't get good mileage."
"I know, but I'll stop in Montesano and Olympia- and Tacoma if I have to."
"Do you want me to come with you?" I tried to hide my horror.
"That's all right Dad, I'll probably just be in dressing rooms for most of the day any ways." No need to point out the fact that I'd probably really spend most of my time with the cars. In my spare time at night, I had been reading up on them. Cars are pretty damn cool.
But I need, very desperately, need clothing because I'd left most of mine in Phoenix and I wasn't too eager to go get them.
"Oh, okay." The thought of sitting in women's clothing stores for any period of time immediately put him off.
"Thanks." I smiled at him.
"Will you be back in time for the dance?" Only in a town this small would a single father, know about the school dance. I attempted to hide my frustration about the dance as I answered.
"No- I don't dance, Dad." He, of all people, should understand that- I didn't get my balance problems from my mother.
"Oh, that's right," he realized, "sorry about that."
I smiled, the argument with Renee completely forgotten.
I tossed and turned all night, but didn't have any bad dreams. I did, however, seem to have a problem sleeping. If this didn't cut out soon, I was going to have to go see Dr. Cullen about some sleeping pills or something.
The drive to school was peaceful; no fog, no rain, just clouds. Most of the snow had melted. I parked on the far edge of the lot, wanting to enjoy the fresh air. As I pulled myself from the cab, I dropped my keys and almost feel. A two whites balanced me from behind, and chuckled. I went to bend over to get the keys, but he already had them.
"How do you do that?" I asked in amazement.
"Do what?" He held out my key as he spoke. I held out my hand under his, and he dropped it into my palm. I smiled, and locked the cab and I spoke.
"Appear out of thin air."
"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." His voice was quite as usual-velvet, muted. I shook my head; if there was one thing I wasn't, it was unobservant. Comes from years of fearing for your life and watching the signs. But, I let it go
I smiled and him, and shouldered my bag. His eyes were light again today, a deep, golden honey colour. Then I had to look down, to reassemble my now-tangled thoughts.
"Talking to me again? Your mood swings are giving me whip lash, you know."
"Kind of like you where tempted to give me last night when I cut you off?" I looked up, and he raised his one eyebrow, teasingly.
"Yes, you are lucky you still have a rear fender. Or ass end of your car in general. What was with said traffic jam last night?" I said, unable to be angry with that face. I looked down, and continued, "I thought you were supposed to be ignoring me for my own good, not irritating me to death."
"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." He snickered.
"You..." I gasped. I couldn't think of a bad enough word. He planned to add to my irritation. Jerk.
"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," he continued.
"I think my neck hurts," I said, sarcastically. With any other person, I would have avoided him, left the conversation, anything other then kept going. But, I couldn't. The fact he was talking to me at all was enough to get me to stay.
"I have a question for you," he said, ignoring my referral to the whip lash, "but you side tracked me."
"Let's here it." I sighed, and crossed my arms attempting to look angry. I don't think it was working. It started to rain spontaneously, as it usually did in Forks and I looked down instinctively.
"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday- you know, the day of the spring dance-"
"Are you trying to be funny?" I interrupted him. In shock I looked back up to read his face, and mine got wet in the process. Understandable, given the height difference.
His eyes were wicked amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"
Flabbergasted, I motioned with my hand to carry on. "I heard you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?"
I blinked. That was unexpected.
"What?" I wasn't sure if I knew what he was getting at. Surely the punch line to this joke was coming soon, a hidden camera, something.
"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"
"With who?" I asked, mystified.
"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were something to someone mentally handicapped.
I was completely, and utterly stunned. "Why?" I asked, suspiciously.
"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure your truck can make it."
"My truck runs great, that you very much for your concern." I started to walk away, but I was too surprised to maintain the same level of 'anger'.
"On one tank of gas?" He asked. I said nothing; both of us knew the answer. "The wasting of finite fuel is everyone's business, after all."
"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend?"
"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."
"I don't follow." I was so confused. He didn't want to be my friend, allegedly for my good, but liked me any ways? I thought girls were complicated.
"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But I'm tried for trying to stay away from you, Bella."
His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breath. "Will you go with me to Seattle?" he asked, still intense.
"Yeah." My voice was weak, so I nodded as I spoke. I looked around to see no one else; I was late. Damn.
"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."
"Again, with the neck." I yelled after him, as he took off towards a separate building from me. Keeping up with his guy was going to give me Olympic records.