Title: Twisted Twilight
Author: Midnight
BETA: Moonlite
Synopses: A different version of Twilight. What if Renee never married Phil, but John Reed, a local cop. John is actually an alcoholic, and is abusive to Bella and Renee. It's after a brutal attack, that Bella decides to go to Forks to live with her Father. As Bella's life experiences have changed, so has our beloved story. See how!
Rating: T
Chapter: Nineteen
Chapter Title: Crack in the shell
Warning: Nothing too bad here.
Author's Note: I apologize for the long wait. I was in a rather- unpleasant car accident. Some idiot decided that red lights where for fools, and hit me- he was going at least 80 KPH- I was driving a minivan, and it was totaled. Needless to say, I was severely injured. I have only recently been able to go back onto the computer, due to the face I hit my head extremely hard, and now have a sever concussion. I get headaches frequently, and tier easily. I've been working on this, attempting to get it done, over the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry if it's jumpy in places, or big spelling issues, or what not- I'm not myself yet. As such, it's also only 4 pages, instead of the normal 8. I'm sorry, but I figured that it was a good place to end it, and I couldn't keep going and I figured that you'd wanna read it:P
I would like to thank you all for being patient with me through this time, and apologize for future delays- they will exist, because writing it extremely hard. I was going to let the story just die, but it's not fair to you, the readers. Thank you for your support, and continued reading.
We're getting near the end of our story though; and not just because of my accident. I figure about three or four more chapters. Hope you enjoy this one.
Special Thanks: piowpiow, Americasweetie, M1nk, AJ Edwins, emmett's-girl-10105, bellatash94, HerLadyship, A is for Angel, DancinBlondeGurl, CullenGirl30, frzntears, Gothic Saku-chan, divine divinity, Kitasky123, dangwe, Julia, Romance4ever, PV10, wildfire, baileyluvsedward, EdwardIs4Me, ChelsieAnnCullen, Shiba-san, dog youkai jane, DazzledBrunette, wintersage, Amber Talamasca, NinjaHandyMan08, and Neko4
If I forgot anyone, I'm terribly sorry; it's been awhile and I wasn't sure if I had posted all the reviewer names, although I did read them all – yes, every single one, and I love you all!
He blinked, confused. I looked into his eyes, my whole body shaking. My eyes started to burn. My stomach twisted and clenched. Edward reached out, and pulled me towards him. As soon as my face touched his chest, the tears spilled over. He rubbed my back, while I softly cried. For once, I wasn't embarrassed crying in front of someone. In fact, I never felt more comfortable in front of someone. "Thank you," I mumbled to his chest. He rested his chin on my head, and gave me a soft squeeze.
"You're welcome." He said, sounding slightly confused. I didn't pull away though, I just let myself be entrapped in his arms- it felt warm there- safe. So much rage filled me that I didn't even know what to do with myself. Along with that rage, came low and hollow sadness; although I had not shattered the mirror in the bathroom, I had shattered the mirror of my life, and for a split second I saw what everything could have been. I could have been normal; I could have had stupid friends whose biggest problem was getting a date for the senior prom. I could have lived my life blissfully. And empty.
I felt something inside of me re-arrange itself, as understand slowly closed over me. No matter how you live your life, you always wish you were on the other side, you always feel empty. But right now I had a chance to make some of the emptiness go away by killing the loneliness. As Edward held me against his marble cold chest in silence, I seemed to be looking at my life through different eyes; eyes that saw rape, abuse, rage, depression, self mutilation, fear, cowardice, and nothing.
"Come," I called softly, pulling away from him.
"Where?" Edward looked at me, confused. A small smile formed on my face, but it quickly vanished. He reached up to brush away a tear, but hesitated with his fingers hovering over my face. My heart pounded slightly faster, and still he hesitated. I reached up, and placed my hand on his, causing it to touch my face.
"To hell," I answered, darkly. As I pulled backward, I kept a hold of hand so he would be forced to follow. Mind you, I'm sure he old did it to amuse me-by no means could I make him go anywhere, and I wasn't foolish enough to believe that I could. Edward shifted his hand, so that it actually held mine.
We walked through the halls in silence. A strange peacefulness came over me, not noticeable calm before the storm. "Give me the keys," I demanded, holding out my other hand. Confused was written all over my face as he tried to read me. He slowly reached into his pocket, and pulled them out. I snatched them out of his hand before he could hesitate.
The engine purred to life, and we where off.
It's such an unassuming street, seemingly peaceful, but with this strange 1950's twilight zone feel to it. I pulled up against the curb, and found to keep my emotions under control; I could feel myself slipping. I cut the engine, and got out of the car. Edward was beside me in seconds.
"Where are we?"
"I told you," I said, "we're going into hell." Reluctantly, I lead the way up the long black ash fault driveway, to the small red-brick house. Tire marks had ruined the grass- probably CSI's or the paramedic's. I could almost picture the whole events in my head like a movie; after all, I had seen bits and pieces so many times before.
I walked up the stone steps, and pushed the front door open- it was unlocked. The entrance way was large, with a single stair case, and a hanging chandelier. But the furniture was a disaster- the small table we used to put the bills under was toss on its side, the vase that was on it shattered into a million tiny fractures. I walked down the little hall along the stairs, which lead to the kitchen. Once along these walls, there was all of my school photos- all of them had been taken off, and thrown against the opposing wall.
In the kitchen, the table was on its side, the oven door open, cupboards open, and all of the knives were gone- presumably they had been picked up by the police or something. The table chairs were laying on the sides- sign of a massive struggle. My eyes traveled up to the back door, and chills went down my spine as I remembered the last time I walked through it. Now it seemed almost like another life.
I turned left into the family room- it was surprisingly untouched- so was the office next to it.
I walked back out in the entrance way, and began my climb up the stairs- more thrown pictures lay upstairs, along with several thrown decorations. John and my mother's bedroom door was gone, so I quickly peaked inside- the mattress for the best was on the floor. I shook my head, and carried on to my own bedroom.
Nothing in here had changed. Nothing. The door was only on half its hinges from where he broke threw. I traced the side of the frame, Goosebumps lining my arms; I could see the whole thing happening before me, like an old movie. The items on my dresser and desk were knocked over, and on the floor, each item reflecting a part of our struggle. On the floor, next to my dresser, my eyes began to stare, unable to look away. My Swiss army knife was still on the floor. Around it, little white buttons. In a crumbled ball, my shirt and bra where pushed next to the dresser. How had I thought that I had cleaned up? My fingers reached up to my neck, as I remembered being chocked, the feeling of life slowly being taken away from you. I looked around the floor, and my stomach clenched as the ripped pink underwear sat next to my foot. At least in my clean up, I had the sense to remove the pad from them. My eyes trailed up to the ceiling- the same slightly yellowed spot stared back down at me. Then, I looked back down to the floor and it in the darkness I could see it- the different coloration- the stain cleaner had lightened the carpet because of the belch I had added to it. I looked next to my bed- the closet door was open, with random clothing laying on the floor.
Freezing cold marble touched my shoulder, and I froze. For a split second, I felt panic, but then I remembered. I turned around to face the horror stricken Edward. His jaw was clenched, eyes wide, but nothing but sorrow filled his eyes.
"You're right," he said weakly. "This is hell."
"You had the right to see it for yourself, so you could understand."
"It's sickening what that man did to you," Edward was clearly trying to keep the anger out of his voice, but was failing miserably, "and if I ever find him, I am going to make him suffer a fate worse than death."
"No," I snapped. Edward looked at me, both surprised and confused. "That would put you on the same level as him, and you are far more than that, Edward. He is a monster; he's like a disease that can't be healed. But you- you are an angel," I reached up, and held his face, "you are my savior. Because of the strength you've given me, I can face this again. Beyond that, I can share this without fear."
"Bella," he said softly, pulling me into a tight hug. "It is you who is the angel and the savior- before, I was nothing, I was distant and cold and uninterested, but now- you Bella Swan, have shown me a reason- a reason to keep on living." We held each other close in the darkness, and despite his cold skin, the greatest warmth I could imagine seemed to flow through every vein in my body.
"Edward?" I mumbled, refusing to pull away.
"Yes?"
"Do you feel it to?" I asked, without looking at him. Edward pulled his chin back, and lifted my chin with his right hand. His fingers trailed on my skin, feeling the warmth from my burning blush.
"Every time I think about you," he answered, smiling. "It's like a pull, stronger than anything I've ever experienced before. I believe it is called love."
"I'm not- familiar- with love." The honesty in my voice was painful, even to me. My eyes burned slightly as tears began to work their way down my face.
"Neither am I," he chuckled slightly, "so we shall learn together." I smiled, despite the fact I was crying. Both of Edward's hands reached up, one taking each side of my face, very gently. I reached up, and took his face in my own hands.
"I vow to you, that I shall never do you harm. I will protect you, and I will love you, for as long as you will let me." His voice shook slightly, even though he was clearly determined. "What happened to you here, will never, ever, happen again Bella. And somehow, someway, we are going to make it through this- things will be okay. Fate has its way."
"Edward Cullen, despite every natural, innate instinct that tells me to be afraid of you, I'm not." I responded, softly. Who would have thought I was going to declare my love for someone, standing in the ruins of my old room. "Although I have a beating heart, and you don't, I still feel they are connected. I love you, more than anything, and I will do everything I can do stay with you." It was poetic- standing on the ruins of my old life; I was forging a new one.
"Hold very still," he whispered, "I want to try something." He leaned closer into my, rushed, yet painfully slow. He paused, his breath blowing on my face- the scent was intoxicating, invigorating. Very softly his lips touched mine, but he pulled away. I leaned back towards him, and we kissed again, this time longer, deeper, more emotionally.
We both pulled back, but for different reasons. He, because he feared he'd hurt me. Me, because I feared myself. I knew that we now where toeing a very narrow line, which could blow up in our faces at any time. In my chest I could feel that some innate rule had been broken, making my suddenly respect all of those sappy romance stories which focus on forbidden love. Beyond that I was still standing in the shadow of a very dark part, one which seemed to be reaching its apex, and neither of us could afford to fall now. A very dark and difficult game of chess was beginning to finally allow an end to my hell. I wondered silently who- or what- I would be at the end of it.
"What's on your mind, Bella?" Edward asked, as we finally sat back down in the car.
"Alice- your sister who called you- physic right?" I asked lightly without looking at him.
"Yes," he nodded, "but her visions are subjective- the future is constantly changing, based on the path someone is currently on, due to their choices. Nothing is certain." Edward seemed suddenly uncomfortable.
"She saw me coming, didn't she?"
"Yes," he shuffled in his seat, and turned to look out the window.
"What else did she see?"
"I told you, it's subjective- it's probably changed already, numerous times."
"She hasn't called you, Edward," I pointed out, well putting in the clutch and turning over the engine. "Nothing's changed. The question is, what's our current path?"
"She didn't really me, to be honest. She saw you coming, she knew you'd be important to me, but she couldn't built an accurate picture, because you where- undecided." Edward looked down at his hands.
"Undecided? I was Undecided on what?" I asked, pulling out from the curb, and speeding down the highway. Edward didn't answer. I looked at him from the corner of my eye- he looked like he was in pain. "I thought we were past this?" He sighed, and nodded.
"Undecided on whether or not you were going to k-"his voice cut off. I could hear him sigh, and swallow, "If you were going to commit suicide or not. Alice said it was unlikely you wouldn't, said I was the only one would could save you from yourself. I'm not sure what kind of alternative a vampire boyfriend is, but-" he shrugged meekly. I smiled to myself- he called himself my boyfriend. I liked that. But- it didn't seem to quite capture all the emotions. "I don't even know if I have…." Edward mumbled the last part to himself, clearly thinking I couldn't hear him.
"You have saved me from myself, Edward." I couldn't look at him, because I knew I was going to cry if I did. "You have."
He also gave away more then he thought he did; surely for this to just be a casual dating thing, he wouldn't feel like he was condemning me so much. I could sense that he felt selfish for being with me, keeping me with him, but he knew that without him, I would end up dead.
A plan began to hatch in my head. A very dark, and possibly painful plan.
"You will never, ever, have to deal with that man again, Bella." Edward reached over and rested his head on my thigh.
"Yes, I will," I corrected. "This has only just begun Edward- but, finally, it's the beginning of the end. I will face him again- but this time, I'll win."