By The Angel I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Incredibly sorry for not posting for this long. Sorry. But chapters for this story are longer than the others and that takes time. Time that I didn't have in the past two weeks. But I'm still sorry. School is over so it's fine now. I will try to post at least once a week but will also try and make it more frequent than that if I can. Anyway, I hope you like the new chapter.
"Open up." He said bringing the strawberry to my lips.
I blushed but complied, chewing the juicy fruit.
"I can feed myself Magnus." I said while he popped one of the chocolate covered strawberries into his own mouth.
He smiled at me.
"I know that, darling." He said, leaning closer so our lips were just inches apart. "But then I wouldn't be able to see that adorable blush of yours." He said teasingly while brushing the hair out of my eyes lightly.
I could feel the heat in my cheeks become stronger at his words.
He sweetly pecked me on the lips before bringing another strawberry up to them again.
He smiled brightly when I let him continue to feed me.
As he watched me I could see that spark in his eyes and it was driving me crazy. For me to be able to cause that made me feel incredibly happy. And maybe I still wasn't sure how I felt about him but I knew it was more than just liking him. It was stronger. I wouldn't be able to do what we did yesterday night if it wasn't .
I blushed at the memory but luckily, I was already as red as I could get so it wasn't very visible.
I don't exactly remember how we got here. Hair still damp hair, sitting on the couch-facing each other with our legs intertwined a little-and a big bowl of chocolate covered strawberries.
But I wasn't complaining.
I snatched one of the strawberries from the bowl and brought it to his lips.
He ate it without hesitation and then licked his lips seductively with a wink.
I blushed and he smirked at that but nevertheless, I took another up one and fed it to him again.
We continued like that until the whole bowl was empty and Magnus snapped it away.
"Come here, darling." He said while lying down and pulling me with him so that I was on top of him. He pressed his lips onto mine and I kissed back.
But even though I love being here with Magnus, I couldn't stop the nagging at the back of my mind. The thing that was always nagging me at the back of my mind.
Jace.
He called me this morning and I blew him off without a second thought. But what if he needed something? What if it's important? What if he needs me for something?
"What is it, lovely?" Magnus asked me while brushing my hair out of my eyes.
"I think I should go." I said suddenly.
It really was getting late and my parents were home too. And Jace also…
"Why? You can stay here as long as you want."
I smiled at him and pecked him on the cheek before getting up.
"I would like it if I could." I admitted. "But my parents are home and Izzy can't cover for me forever. And…maybe Jace needs something."
"Of course." I heard Magnus sigh and I turned around to look at him questioningly. "It's always Jace isn't it?"
"Magnus, he's my parabatai." I said wanting desperately for him to be that for me, just that and nothing more. But we both knew it wasn't just that. "I need to see if something is up."
His facial expression didn't change.
"I'm sorry." I bent down and kissed him on the lips. "I would really love it if I could stay. But I will try and sneak out again soon…?"
He smiled at me, his eyes softening again. "Fine I will let you go. But only if you come back today."
I smiled brightly in the way that only he can make me smile. "I'll try."
I turned around to go but he caught my wrist and tugged me down to him again connecting our lips in the process.
This kiss was longer than the last one and left me a little dazed when we finally broke apart.
"I needed something to get me through the rest of the day without you." He grinned and winked at me.
I blushed but smiled. "Goodbye, Magnus. I-will try to see you again today." I said quickly and turned around so he couldn't see my wide eyes.
By The Angel, what was I about to say?! Did I really almost said 'I love you' just now?
"Goodbye, darling. You better." He called after me as I left the apartment. Barely containing myself from running out of it.
I almost said 'I love you' just now. I mean I was so close to saying it, it was on the tip of my tongue.
But-But I can't love Magnus, right? I love Jace. Right? I can't love them both. That's impossible.
But Magnus. Lately I… I've been thinking about him more than Jace. And everything is just so…
By The Angel is it possible that I love Magnus?
The cab ride to the Institute passed by like that. Me arguing with myself about whether or not it was true.
I walked into The Institute as slowly and as quietly as I could, hoping that I wouldn't run into my parents or Jace because if they noticed that I was just getting home now that wouldn't be good. And Jace is surely already pissed at me for this morning so it would be best to avoid him too.
As I walked out of the elevator I saw a shadowy figure standing by the wall and I tensed.
Shit. Please be Izzy.
I have never wished for my sister to see me sneaking in after a night out as I did in that very moment.
The angels seemed to have finally taken pity on me as the figure stepped out of the shadows I could clearly see that it was, in fact, Izzy.
I sighed in relief but it didn't last long.
"If you say that you two only slept again I am going to strangle you because I can see that that is so not true." She said with an amused smirk, looking me up and down. "Or do you have a good lie to tell me?"
"Izzy…" I was blushing and trying to avoid her gaze. I just wanted to get to my room and if possible, avoid Jace for the rest of the day. "If I say 'we didn't just sleep' will you please leave me alone and stop asking questions?"
She smiled a big smile. "That's my big brother." She said, looking proud and making me blush even harder.
"Can I go now?" I shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.
"Not until you tell me how it was."
I groaned with a blush. "There is no way I'm talking to you or anyone about this. And you promised no questions." I reminded her.
"Technically, I didn't promise anything. " She said happily.
I groaned again. "Izzy…"
"Fine, fine, I won't ask any more questions." She promised. "But before you go, Jace said that he needed to talk to you."
I gulped. "Why?"
"Don't know. He just said to send you to him if I saw you."
"Did he look angry?" I asked slowly.
"A little annoyed but nothing to worry about." She looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Why? Did you do something?"
"He called me this morning so we can all go to breakfast together and I said no." I admitted, now starting to feel a little bad about it.
"You said no to Jace?!" She asked me with raised eyebrows.
I knew what she was thinking. I never say no to Jace. Whatever he wants from me, the answer was always yes. This was the first time I had ever said no.
I sighed when she continued looking at me in disbelief.
"Don't look at me like that." I passed a hand through my hair. "Where is he?"
"Weapons room." She said and I started towards it with a sigh. It just had to be the room that was full of weapons didn't it.
"But you should go change first." She called after me and I turned around, looking at her questioningly. "You wore that yesterday and I can see a few specks of glitter from here."
I nodded and went to my room to change, trying to think up an an excuse to tell him. I was sure as hell not going to be telling him that I slept over at my boyfriends loft and wanted to stay with said boyfriend a little longer rather than rushing to see him.
After I changed into some fresh clothes I went to the weapons room. And just like Izzy said, Jace was there.
He had his back turned to me when I entered the room and I hesitated for a second before stepping inside, dreading the conversation that was about to ensue.
"Hey." I greeted him awkwardly while coming to lean against the table beside him. "Izzy said you want to talk to me…"
"Yes. What is with you lately?" He turned to me looking a little hurt.
Why does he look hurt? Why is he looking at me like that?
"I…What do you mean?" I asked him still trying to figure out what is up with the hurt in his eyes.
"I mean that you are barely ever home and you don't talk to me as much anymore. Are you angry with me? Did I do something?"
I looked at him speechless for a second.
Is he hurt because of that? Because I don't spend as much time with him anymore?But it's as much as his fault as it is mine, right?
He's the one who is always with Clary.
But you're always with Magnus too. The voice in the back of my mind reminded me.
Is it possible that I had neglected Jace even more lately? I thought in shock. I…I hadn't even…noticed it.
"No. It's not you." I said when I got my voice back.
"Then what is it?" He insisted.
"It's just…The weather had been really nice lately and I…Just…" I trailed off not even knowing what I'm saying anymore.
The weather is nice? Good one Alec. I mentally kicked myself.
"Look, it's nothing Jace. If me taking walks alone bothers you so much you can come with me sometimes."
What the hell am I saying? I thought. He can't take walks with me! I'm not taking walks!
He looked at me suspiciously for a second before relaxing.
"Ok. I'm sorry. It's just…With everything that's been happening lately…" He smiled at me.
"It's fine. I understand." I smiled back at him. "If I was in your shoes I would have been suspicious too."
"I just don't want anything to happen to you. You're my parabatai after all." He said and the sentence didn't hurt as much as it usually did before all of this. For the first time ever it felt…right.
By The Angel, do I not love Jace anymore?! I thought but dismissed it immediately. There is no way that is the case. I can't not love Jace. There was never a moment since the day I met him that I didn't love him.
But then what has been happening lately?
My head started to hurt. It was still morning and already too many things have happened.
"It's fine. Anyway, did you need anything this morning?" I said wanting to redirect the subject away from me and stop my train of thought as well.
"Not really. But I do need you now." He said turning serious.
"I'm listening." I said immediately wanting to make up for this morning.
"We may have found Valentine and Clary's mother." He said while clipping some of the weapons onto his weapons belt. "They are not very far from here but, from what the wolf pack told us,it's well protected."
Wolf pack? I thought confused but stayed quiet. Since when is the wolf pack involved in this with us?
"We're going to need all the help we can get to rescue her." He said and then looked at me questioningly. "Are you in?"
"Of course I am. I'm definitely not letting you go there without me." I said and took my bow.
He smiled at me. The smile that made me remember something else we needed and I took out my phone.
"Who are you calling?" He asked me, looking confused.
"Magnus." I said simply, bringing the phone to my ear. At his expression I added. "You said we needed all the help we could get. So I…"
"Hello darling." Magnus answered the phone, cutting me off mid sentence . "Miss me already?"
I fought my urge to smile because that would only awaken new suspicion in Jace.
"Magnus, we need your help."
Did you like it?! A lot of things happened here don't you thing so!? Review my darlings if you want more.