I really tortured you guys by not posting for two weeks haven't I?! Well I'm sorry again. To show how sorry I am I'm going to post this chapter not even 24 hours after the last one. I hope you like it.

By The Angel I can't believe this! I thought while throwing myself onto my bed. They are brother and sister! Siblings by blood. After weeks of their lovely-dovely behavior they are related.

I should be happy because of this but…the look on Jace's face. The look on both of their faces. It haunted me. I have never seen Jace look so shattered. So vulnerable. Never seen him so sad and broken before.

No. That's not true. I had seen him look like that once before, on his first day at The Institute. Right after his father died. But he hadn't died had he?! I thought getting angry again. Even though we all thought he had. Jace saw it with his own two eyes. And he had sported the same broken look then as he did now.

It was like someone had died again and a big part of him had went with them.

I wish I could help him somehow. I groaned and buried my face into the pillow. Too many things have happened today.

Valentine dropped that big bomb onto them before escaping. I mean we were able to save Clay's mother but now after everything that had happened, I found myself wishing that we hadn't even tried. It just brought on more problems. And she's in a coma so we don't even know if she will ever wake up.

And then there is Magnus. I know he's not happy with this. With Jace. He tries to hide it but I can tell that he doesn't like to see me while I'm with him. And I can't blame him. Not after everything. I know how I look at Jace and I know it can't be very pleasant watching that.

But today was different. I didn't stay by Jace because I wanted to- I desired to do just the opposite actually. The second Magnus showed up I wanted to go to him and stay by him but I couldn't do that. Jace was there, and he would get suspicious if I stayed by Magnus for too long. So I stayed with Jace and glanced towards Magnus every chance I could get-seeing him smile at me every time I did that. It made my heart flutter in that annoying way it did recently.

After today I'm starting to wonder…did I ever really love Jace?! Did I ever actually love him? Or was he just my safe harbor? Someone to have so I wouldn't let myself fall in love? Someone to keep me and my heart safe?

Because secretly I always knew that there was no way he could ever love me. No way that he would ever feel the way I do.

I just made myself believe it because he's safe. What if I did that just because he can't feel the same way about me?

Did I make myself believe I love him because he can never love me back?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was true.

My head started to hurt again. Too many things happening in one day. And then Magnus. And what happened this morning. Because I wouldn't almost say something like that on whim. It seems I have really fallen for Magnus. Fallen for him hard.

But what does he feel about me?!

I looked at the phone in my hand.

It's almost midnight. I thought with a sigh. Magnus said he wanted me to come to his loft and I want to. I really do. It's just…I'm so confused right now. I should have gone with him immediately. Why did I have to make that excuse? Why didn't I just go with him?

I turned around so I was lying on my back with my cell phone still in hand. I should have just said yes.

We had just gotten out of the building. Jace and the others went in front. They wanted to get the woman to safety as fast as possible.

Well Clary did- Jace followed behind her with a blank stare. I knew he was hiding all the hurt inside. He always does that. Never lets anyone see how much something hurts him.

I stayed a little in the back wanting some time to think.

If I had heard this news a few months ago, I would have been thrilled. Jace would go back to normal meaningless flings and I could continue imagining I'm one of them. But now all I could feel was pain and sadness for the both of them. I'm not even close to happy.

And that fact is confusing me so much. All the thoughts in my mind are jumbled together. It's hard to think.

Suddenly a hand grabbed mine pulling me sideways and behind…something. Out of the line of sight of the others.

I looked at the person alarmed-that I didn't hear them approaching- only to relax when I saw it was Magnus.

"Magnus what are you doing?!" I asked him, quickly glancing towards where the others were to make sure no one noticed anything.

"Just wanted to make sure you're ok darling." He said pulling me even closer so I was now flush against him. "No big injuries?"

"No. I'm fine. You?" I asked not able to help it.

"Oh please they couldn't even come near me." He said with a smile. "But I love the fact that you're worried about me, darling." He smiled at me.

"I'm not-" I was cut off by his lips on mine.

The kiss wasn't long or heated-but sweet and soft and after we pulled apart all I wanted to do was pull him closer, so I did just that.

"I actually want to ask you one more thing." He said when we finally pulled apart.

"And that is…?" I asked him.

"Do you want to come home with me?" He asked me with a small smile. "I'm sure Izzy can cover for you."

Home. I thought, loving how it sounded. But at the same time it scared me a little to call Magnus's loft my home. It isn't, right?! I mean I spend most of my time there but still…it isn't….

"I would love to, but I can't." I said knowing that the second part is a lie. There was no real reason that prevented me from going. Just my thoughts messing with me again and making me over-think everything. "My parents need to see that I come home alive and well. But I will definitely come later if I can."

"Ok, darling. I'll see you later then?" He smiled at me but I could see something else behind that smile. Does he know I'm lying?! I thought feeling terrible because of it.

I kissed him one more time.

"If I can, I'll come. I promise." I said with a smile.

And with that he left, making me want with all my heart to come with him but instead I walked away towards the others feeling bad because of the real reason behind why I said no.

Jace.

I sighed looking at the time again.

Mother and father aren't home right now… maybe I can sneak out and go to him now. He usually doesn't sleep at this time. So-

Something hit my door making me jump.

I quickly got up and hurried towards it-grabbing a seraph blade just in case on my way to the door.

I opened the door, making something fall onto the floor with a thud.

I clicked the lights on and looked down.

It was Jace.

Unconscious Jace.

I kneeled down to see why he was unconscious. For all I knew he could have went and gotten into a fight again. After everything that has happened today I wouldn't be surprised.

But there was no blood or anything.

Then why is he like this?! I got a bit closer. Feeling confused.

That's when I got my answer. I could smell the stench of alcohol the second I leaned closer.

You idiot. I thought while picking him up. Getting drunk like this. Idiot.

I felt annoyed as I put him into my bed.

It's not like I will sleep in it anyway. I thought. I'm going to…Magnus's. I stopped short at the thought. When did I decide that? Maybe it would be better if I stay here. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just delusional right now and I actually still love Jace.

There is only one way I can be sure. I looked at the sleeping golden boy. It's not like he's conscious. He wouldn't remember if I kiss him now right. He wouldn't even be aware of it.

I bent down a little and closed my eyes.

I could feel his lips just inches away from mine.

And I'm stopping it here.

I know I know I'm evil. But I'm not posting another one until I get at least 10 reviews. So tell me what you think lovelies.