Disclaimer: All previous disclaimers apply. Some elements of backstory and characterization are based upon speculation, but if you know canon then you can recognize them, and if you don't then it doesn't matter much and you can enjoy it anyway.
Chapter 17: Place to Go, People to See
As Kaito slumped into unconsciousness, Riku hurried forward to catch Méraud's share of the weight. Hakuba might be more rested than Kaito, but under the circumstances that wasn't saying much... and while the magician was whipcord-thin, Riku knew from experience that he was heavier than he looked. Together, the pair dragged Kaito the last few feet across the room and wrestled him into bed. Hakuba stepped back and smiled faintly as soft snores began to drift up.
"Stubborn idiot."
"But a likeable stubborn idiot," Riku added, remembering Kaito's own description of him less than two weeks ago. It felt like longer.
"Mm." Hakuba sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He'll be out for several hours, hopefully more."
"Good. He needs it." Riku sat on the edge of the unoccupied bed, watching the blanket over Kaito rise and fall gently. "Going that long on so little… it'll take days before he even makes a dent in that level of sleep debt."
"Quite. And it will likely take the same amount of time before he even approaches the realm of normal again. For him, that is. God knows where that falls as compared to the rest of us."
"…Apparently, on a scale of black to white, the color blue."
Hakuba snorted. "Yes, Solomon-san mentioned that earlier today." He paused for a moment, eyes drifting from Kaito to Riku with an unusually hesitant expression. "He also said something that struck me as odd… you went by a different name the last time you both came here?"
Riku was abruptly reminded that for all the information Hakuba did have about what was going on, there was at least as much he still didn't know.
"…Yeah. I guess I owe you a better explanation of who, exactly, I am… and what Kaito-kun and I are trying to do."
"I wouldn't want to presume—" Hakuba began hastily, but Riku shook his head.
"No, it's okay. If you're going to know, you should know the whole story." Riku resettled himself more comfortably on the bed and gestured for Hakuba to seat himself on the other half. He stared contemplatively into the distance as Hakuba sat crosslegged across from him, then sighed. "You know, I already told this to Kaito-kun once, and I still don't know where to begin."
"Well, if I were to summarize what I already know…" Hakuba ticked off on his fingers. "Your name is Riku, but you went by Ansem as recently as a few weeks ago; you're from another world; you travel between places by way of the Darkness that is somehow involved in defining the boundaries of the universe and is the home of creatures called Heartless, source of the most disturbing experience I've had in my life; magic exists, in a variety of different forms; and you and Kuroba-kun are attempting to stop a group of people he considers more dangerous than the snipers who occasionally attempt to assassinate him, though I don't know any details."
"That's because they are," Riku stated flatly. "I'll... tell you more about that later. You asked about my name first. My name is Riku. Ansem... was the name of the monster whose form I currently can't escape."
Hakuba managed to keep his jaw shut, but the abrupt widening of his eyes betrayed his shock. "What?"
...He'd definitely been hanging around Kaito too long if he couldn't help but feel slightly amused at managing to disconcert Hakuba. That made two of them feeling off-balance now. It had been a long day, and while it had been nice to remember some of the good times with Sora and Kairi for a while, now the memory of what had been lost stole back again as a dull, cold ache.
"This face, this body, belongs to a man who embraced the Darkness. In doing so, he became a Heartless." As Hakuba paled, Riku quickly repeated the explanation he'd given Kaito of how the Darkness created Heartless and Nobodies from a person's triad of body, heart and soul, taking the time to emphasize their common purpose and consequent danger. Hakuba had the rather unique opportunity of being able to learn exactly what he was trying to get into before it was too late, and Riku planned to take advantage of that. Not that Hakuba seemed likely to change his mind, but it couldn't hurt.
He also, more reluctantly, explained the difference when one was consumed by the Dark, and when one chose it as Ansem did.
"He kept his mind and gained the power of Darkness, but he wanted more. Each person has a heart. So does every individual world. But the greatest source of Light and Darkness is the heart of the entire universe, Kingdom Hearts. He thought I could help him open that door, and the promise of power convinced me to open myself to his influence..." Riku trailed off, closing his eyes. No matter how many times he had to tell the story, this part would never get any easier.
"He... possessed me. Somehow his magic and Darkness interacted with my own and… remade me. To look like him. Eventually Sora — my friend from back home, he's been the one protecting the worlds from the Heartless and Nobodies — defeated him, and when I regained myself I had my true body again. But Ansem's... I suppose you could call it his ghost... remained, and then I wasn't strong enough during a fight and reached too far into the Darkness.
"It changed you again?" Hakuba hazarded, regarding Riku with wary curiosity. "To what you—he—had been like before."
He nodded. "With no way back, this time."
"...But Kuroba-kun wouldn't have just taken that at face value — he's spent enough time behind a mask to recognize one anywhere, even one so unintentionally thorough as your own." Hakuba's lips quirked ruefully. "He started poking, didn't he."
Riku could help but smile at the memory. "He figured most of it out on his own, and then I told him the rest. And yes, there was at least one instance of amateur psychotherapy that was not unlike debridement..."
Riku suppressed an involuntary shudder. He hadn't meant to use that word, linked too closely as it was with the memories of the one he had learned it from. Only Ansem's Heartless would use a term for the removal of decay or debris from a wound to describe how he had cast off his body because it inconvenienced him when he opened himself to the darkness. But this, while psychological rather than physical, seemed truer to the word's actual meaning: it had hurt like crazy until it was over, like feeling the emotional wounds torn open again while he was forced to face them, but afterwards he had felt better than he had for a very long time. And he thought that maybe, now he had a chance at starting to heal.
He was pulled from his thoughts when Hakuba snickered quietly, glancing over at Kaito. "That is a far, far too accurate description of his methods."
"You, too?"
"You could say he took an interest."
"He's good at that." Riku paused for a moment, then continued. "Before I met him, I'd accepted Ansem as my true name and tried to put the memory of being Riku behind me. Kaito-kun... wouldn't let me. He's a lot like Sora, really, but less naive. He's seen more. Been hurt more. But Sora saw a lot last year too, and they're both still insanely optimistic about the universe in general and refuse to give up on people, either."
"Sounds like a good friend," Hakuba said quietly.
"He is. We grew up together, and not many people would be willing to put up with a... a loner with a tendency to brood, to be honest, for very long. Sometimes he can be a bit of an idiot, but he wouldn't be Sora, otherwise."
"How long have you known each other?"
"All my life." Riku waited a beat, then deadpanned, "Sixteen years."
The muscle under Hakuba's right eye twitched. "You're enjoying this."
"Only a little."
"Sixteen."
"Yes."
"...Sixteen."
"Yes," Riku repeated patiently, a faint smile playing across his lips.
"You and Kuroba-kun keep changing the definition of 'impossible' on me. It's highly disconcerting, and I have the horrible feeling that you aren't done yet, either." Hakuba frowned. "You fight the Darkness, but also control it; your body is your own, but not your face; you're younger than I am, but you look twice my age..." He threw up his hands. "You're a bloody mess of contradictions."
All amusement vanished in an instant. "Yes, I am," Riku responded, voice painfully even, "because I thought the Darkness couldn't touch me, and I was wrong."
Hakuba cocked his head slightly, an unspoken invitation for Riku to continue.
"I accepted the Darkness because I thought it could give me what I wanted..."
Strength enough to find her, warmth of family lost too soon, to brave the Darkness between the stars to find her watching-place and if she was proud of who he'd grown up to be... Strength enough to see the universe beyond a too-small home, when childhood dreams had been abandoned as much as they ever could be... to find Kairi when she, at least, had still needed him...
He swallowed down the memories. "You're not going to have much problem with that, given your reaction to the corridor and the Heartless. But even if you're not seeking its power, the Darkness doesn't need to be within to be able to eat away at you, to wear you down until there's almost nothing left and twist the remnant into something unrecognizable. Aside from the additional strain of the corridor, your first encounter with the Heartless was likely the easiest it's ever going to get. There are much stronger Heartless out there, not to mention how Nobodies are more dangerous because they can think... and the mastermind behind all the current trouble is the Nobody spawned when Ansem became a Heartless."
"...You don't do anything by halves, do you?"
Riku couldn't entirely suppress a bitter snort. "No. Unfortunately."
"He's the one you and Kuroba-kun are bound and determined to stop, then?"
"He and what remains of his colleagues," Riku confirmed. "Unless Sora's been busy while I've been — distracted —" first by Kaito himself, and then by Kaito's predicaments "— approximately half a dozen Nobodies with intact memories and senses of self are still actively seeking a new route to Kingdom Hearts. Xemnas, Saix, Xaldin, Luxord, Demyx, Xigbar… Axel."
Though Axel was hopefully causing more trouble for the Organization than for Sora, now. The firedancer's reluctance to destroy Roxas in DiZ's virtual world, even when it was to his advantage to do so, was inconsistent with a Nobody's true nature. Riku couldn't be certain, but he suspected — hoped — that as Sora and Roxas had reunited, whatever bond Axel had previously made with Roxas had served to connect him to Sora, as well… and Sora had enough heart for a dozen souls.
Relegating that train of thought to the back of his mind where it belonged, Riku slid off the bed and moved to the guest bedroom's closet, pulling out the cloak. He'd been wearing it when they'd left Kaito's world, but he'd remembered Kaito's initial admonition to blend here and left it off in favor of the less remarkable outfit taken from Kaito's disguises.
"This is their symbol. If you ever meet a humanoid wearing one in your world, don't ask questions. Run. You have a strong heart, and it would be to their advantage to turn you into a Heartless."
"I'll just have to go and find myself a different dragon to turn, then, won't I? A pity you aren't more amenable, we could have done so much with you in our ranks..."
The voice flashed through Riku's mind without warning, and was gone almost before he could recall where it came from. When he remembered, however, he was hard pressed to bite back a curse. Xigbar. He'd let the sharpshooter go over two weeks ago, and hadn't remembered to check again to make sure the Nobody hadn't found another dragon somewhere. Himura's world had dealt with Xigbar without needing their help, but he couldn't help being afraid that some other world might not be so lucky. No matter what he'd told Kaito, Sora couldn't be everywhere at once. All it would take was several members acting simultaneously...
"Though for some reason, you have one also."
Riku blinked, thoughts interrupted by Hakuba's voice, and refocused to find the detective regarding him and the cloak thoughtfully.
Hakuba continued, "The shrouded form erases individual identity, while simultaneously establishing a group unity. Within that lies a kind of disguise... and resonance."
...The blond was far too intelligent for his own good, picking up on things that Riku hadn't meant to let slip yet, if at all.
"It was a reminder of where I'd come from," he admitted, replacing the cloak in the closet, "and where I was trying to go."
"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you've said your friend Sora is the one who defeated Ansem, and is now facing a group of individuals with similar intents. If they are as dangerous as you've described, how on earth has he managed it?"
"He has allies. Anyone he meets essentially becomes his friend, and willing to help him. ...He also wields a keyblade, a rare weapon which is unparalleled in its effectiveness against Heartless and Nobodies."
So long as you remained on the path it had chosen you to follow... No. Don't think about it.
"Keyblade?"
Riku sighed, leaning back against the closed closet door. "A weapon that can be given form by those chosen to wield it and influenced by those with strong hearts. The strength of a Keyblade depends on the heart of its wielder, but it also truly is a key, with all the powers you would expect from one of mystical origin. It can lock or unlock pathways, doors... hearts. Two Keyblades working together locked the door to Kingdom Hearts after Ansem found it, forcing Xemnas to seek a second way."
"...I see." Hakuba rubbed his forehead, brow furrowed. "I believe I may have reached my limits for absorbing absurdly improbable truths." He uncurled from his position on the bed and stood, then looked up at Riku. "I could use some of Solomon-san's unadulterated tea. Coming?"
Riku blinked back his surprise. They were both Kaito's friends, and seemed to have forged an understanding over mutual concern for the magician's well-being, but beyond that... he wouldn't have blamed Hakuba for wanting to unwind alone.
"All right."
They returned downstairs, passing through the living room where Joey was regaling Solomon with the events of the Conspiracy's latest venture, occasionally supplemented by input from Yugi or Mokuba. They'd gotten all the way up to 'pai-jutsu,' and Riku chuckled at the memory as they went past.
In the kitchen, Riku sat at the table and watched as Hakuba poured tea the ease of long practice, then slipped into the seat across from him. They drank in a mutual silence more comfortable than awkward, Hakuba looking contemplative while Riku stared into his mug, grateful that the blond had refrained from asking more questions about who he had really been and what his life had been like before.
As the silence stretched on, however, Riku's mind kept turning back to Xigbar and what the Nobody could be up to. He'd just gotten up the momentum for some spectacular brooding about Xigbar's potential movements when Solomon's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Saguru-kun?"
Hakuba exchanged a surprised glance with Riku, then picked up his mug and exited the kitchen. Riku followed a moment later out of curiosity, and found that Joey had apparently finished storytelling. Joey and Mokuba were standing up, and Mokuba smiled at Hakuba.
"Motou-san said it would help develop your shielding if you could get a hold of a violin... Mine's been collecting dust for a while, if you want to borrow it. You could even come home with us and take the limo back, if you wanted to get it now." He smiled hopefully.
Riku couldn't tell for certain from his position behind Hakuba, but for a moment the detective's hands seemed to tighten on the mug he was holding before he could suppress the reaction.
"That's... very kind of you," he managed, and Riku realized with surprise that if anything, the blond was fighting down a faint blush of embarrassment. "If you're certain you don't mind..."
"Nah, this is the kind of thing Niwa-san gets paid for," Joey assured them. "You can bring Riku-san too, so you're not riding back alone."
Hakuba glanced back at Riku, who nodded. He at least knew Hakuba to some extent, better than any of the others did. He could understand why the detective might want a more familiar face around, and Kaito would want him to keep an eye on the blond anyway.
The added bonus of being away from Solomon and Yugi's too-sharp eyes while Kaito wasn't around to act as a buffer was simply a... nice coincidence.
"I don't mind."
"Splendid!" Solomon declared, directing a smile towards Hakuba. "Between music and Duel Monsters, you should have a solid base for your shields to anchor in."
"I can only hope," Hakuba agreed.
"Well, we'd better get going." Joey grinned. "Places to go, people to see."
"Only if you count homework as 'people'," Mokuba countered with a wry smile. "It's almost exams for you, and I have a book on international business to finish..."
"Hey, I'm caught up from New York, but after hearing proper mangling of the language back home, formal English translations lose their appeal."
Yugi shook his head with an amused smile. "See you tomorrow, Joey. Take care, Mokuba-kun."
Solomon added his own farewells, and Riku and Hakuba were quickly whisked off to the Kaiba mansion. Riku didn't pay too much attention to the ride over, choosing instead to watch the city fly by outside the window. He let the conversation go by without really listening, though in the back of his mind he registered Joey's easy laughter, Mokuba's quieter chuckle, and... a faint amusement, at most, running through Hakuba's responses.
At the mansion, Riku waited with Joey and Hakuba in an absurdly grand front room while Mokuba retrieved the violin from the depths of the house. When the dark-haired boy returned, he held out the instrument's case to Hakuba with a winning smile and puppy-dog eyes that put any of Sora or Kairi's attempts at begging to shame.
"Do you think... you might like to try it before you go? I don't know anyone else who plays..."
Standing beside Hakuba, Riku was surprised to see the detective's eyes flare almost imperceptibly with what in almost anyone else he would be tempted to call concealed panic. But that didn't make any sense, when it was only music... Riku'd never met a musician who didn't enjoy the opportunity to perform. He made a mental note to figure out why Hakuba was so twitchy about the subject once they were away from here. While Mokuba's pleading expression had gained an edge of hesitancy, he seemed unable to give up on the request altogether.
"I..." Hakuba hesitated, but one of the detective's more obvious character traits was a set of manners that must have been bred into him from the cradle, and then some. In a conflict between personal preference and decorum, etiquette won hands down. "I'm afraid I'm rather out of practice, but since you are being kind enough to leave it in my hands in the first place..."
Hakuba carefully accepted the case from Mokuba and laid it open on the nearest available flat surface; in this case, an intricately carved, dark mahogany coffee table that looked more expensive than all of the Motou home's furniture put together. With a few deft movements he emptied the case, settled the violin on his shoulder, took a deep breath, and experimentally drew the bow across its strings.
At the pure tone that filled the air, something seemed to relax in the blond and he closed his eyes. Slowly at first, then with more confidence as the familiar movements fell back into place, he played a short and simple piece twice through. The second time sounded almost exactly the same as the first, barring a few added flourishes and a drawn-out final note, and Riku privately came to the conclusion that Hakuba 'out of practice' was better than most musicians in top form.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, Hakuba lowered the instrument and opened his eyes to acknowledge his audience.
In addition to a short but enthusiastic round of applause from all three of them, Mokuba gave Hakuba a brilliant smile. "That was the theme from that British Sherlock Holmes miniseries, wasn't it? Nii-sama's let me watch a few to practice my English, and that sounds like the opening..."
This time Hakuba did blush, his usually pale complexion tingeing pink. "It was the only thing I could think of that was relatively short and simple."
"Well, it was good." Under his breath but still audible, Joey added, "Out of practice. Ha!"
"Thank you..." Hakuba didn't quite seem to know what to do with the praise, and busied himself repacking the violin. Taking pity on the blond, Riku bowed to the other two.
"It's been good getting to know you better today, but we shouldn't take up any more of your time."
"All right..." Mokuba said reluctantly. "Thanks, Hakuba-kun. Keep the violin as long as you need it."
Hakuba nodded, cradling the case in his arms, but he remained silent on the way out to the limo. He seemed content enough to remain so for the first several minutes of the ride back to the game shop. Riku, occupied trying to find a polite way to ask about Hakuba's music sensitivity, nearly missed it when the other boy finally spoke up on his own.
"Do you... would you, when we get back, not tell Kuroba-kun about this?"
"Why not?" The question slipped out on reflex, and Riku regretted it immediately, unsure how Hakuba would react. But the blond just looked down at the violin case contemplatively.
"Music has always been private. ...Personal."
But to master the semi-chaotic mess Riku had made of his emotional equilibrium, Hakuba had apparently been willing to share such a closely guarded talent with Solomon, and then by extension Mokuba, to gain access to an instrument. And then Mokuba had obviously not considered any more than Riku had that some musicians might not appreciate their talent being common knowledge...
"I won't tell him."
"...Thank you." Hakuba paused, seeming to search for something to say, then added, "Do you play?"
"No. I don't have much talent for music." She had, though, gentle and bright as butterfly's wings, playing a dance for no other reason than to celebrate the day...
"It's... soothing. Relaxing. However, I'm... unaccustomed to an audience, beyond my original teacher or occasionally my mother."
Riku nodded, and they lapsed into silence again, but Riku's mind kept turning back to Kaito, Hakuba, and the dance of secrets that seemed to lie between them.
"...You don't have to hide from him, you know."
Hakuba glanced over, unable to hide his surprise. "I beg your pardon?"
"Kaito-kun. He won't use things like this," Riku gestured at the case, "against you." His lips quirked slightly. "Of anyone, he understands personal. But he also likes to know his friends."
"Yes, well..."
"I won't tell him... but I think he would like it if you did."
Hakuba looked down, eyes shuttered. "I'll think about it."
"Good enough." Riku gave a one-shouldered shrug.
"...You've been around him too long. You're picking up his traits."
Riku blinked. "I am?"
A slight smirk graced Hakuba's face. "Poking at people's armored walls."
"He is good at that, isn't he? I guess he's catching."
"Yes, he does have a penchant for leaving things decidedly altered from the way he found them.
Riku leaned back into his seat with a sigh. "A good thing, too. I wouldn't want to go back to where I was before I met him."
"No. I wouldn't either."
"Has..." Riku hesitated, then decided to ask anyway. "Has he changed at all? Since he left?" Of anyone, Hakuba would know...
"Aside from being strung tight enough to snap?"
Riku couldn't entirely suppress a wince at the raw honesty in Hakuba's question. "Yeah, besides that."
"It's... hard to say. I'm not entirely sure what's changed and what he's simply never shown before."
Riku nodded slowly. "The way I met him... I suppose there was nothing for him to hide. Not the way I saw him hiding from... almost everyone, really, once we got back to Tokyo."
Hakuba rested a chin on his fist, eyes distant, as he sought the right words. "It's always been walls... laughter-wrapped tripwires. He made everything a challenge, a puzzle, a game... but if you ever looked beyond that, got an inch behind the mask, there'd be nothing to be found, just you flat on your back, staring at the sky and wondering what happened.
...Because everyone and everything would be safer that way, if you were playing ghost among the rooftops.
Riku shifted in his seat, wondering absently if Niwa could hear any of this through the closed divider separating driver from passengers. Probably not, or Hakuba would have waited to make his initial request in the privacy of the study, or the guest bedroom.
"You only knew Kaito-kun after he become Kid, though, so it would be hard to say how much of that existed before."
"I would say most of it, though that's only a guess. From what Aoko-kun's said of him, it simply wasn't... focused, before."
Amazing what discovering that there was someone to blame, someone just out of reach, could do to one's motivation and concentration...
Riku sighed, considering the implications of what Hakuba had told him. "He was trying to be known of, and liked well enough, but not known, wasn't he? Keeping everyone at arm's length, because if no one could get close... then no one would get hurt." On either side, Riku knew. He and Kaito really were far too much like each other...
"Yes. Even before Kid, and the snipers... when the most important person in his life was simply gone one day..."
...to watch you from the stars, so be strong...
Riku ruthlessly shoved the stomach-twisting memories back into their boxes and slammed them closed. Don't Think About It. Not here, not now.
"I'd imagine it breaks something inside, especially in a child," he murmured, carefully keeping his voice steady and not looking at Hakuba. "And then... there's always something left vulnerable, no matter how many shields are put up to hide it. If anyone ever managed to slip through..."
The threat of further loss would be more than capable of causing nightmares like the ones Kaito'd been having.
And there was no question who had managed it.
Hakuba's thoughts apparently traveled along the same lines, because after a long pause he ventured, "I'm still uncertain how... I... managed to trigger such a reaction.
"Well..." Riku couldn't claim to know all of what went on in Kaito's head, but from what he had seen... "Part of it is because you know who he is. You can't prove it, and up until recently, he'd never have admitted it... but you know. And that means he can't keep you out as well as everyone else." Certainly not as well as Aoko, or Nakamori, or Conan.
"Mm." Hakuba looked thoughtful, but after a while it became apparent that he didn't intend to reply further, and they traveled the rest of the way to the Motou's in contemplative silence.
The rest of the afternoon and evening went by uneventfully. Hakuba disappeared into the study, Solomon busied himself with matters related to the game shop, and Yugi seemed to be alternating between reading a schoolbook and working methodically through a book of games and puzzles.
In the absence of any immediate need for his presence, Riku gave in to the plan slowly forming in the back of his mind and went up to the guest room to nap until dinner. While he'd had the last two weeks to recover instead of digging himself deeper, Kaito wasn't the only one with a sleep-debt. And there'd been that one night when he'd been on Kaito's laptop, perusing the Internet, and simply forgotten to go to bed...
After dinner, Hakuba pulled Riku into watching a Duel Monster's game between him and Solomon, with Yugi acting as commentator for Riku's sake. Apparently extra people around taxed Hakuba's concentration skills more, and the blond was almost scarily single-minded in his determination to master his empathic gift.
To his surprise, Riku enjoyed watching the game more than he'd anticipated. The level of strategy required was oddly fascinating, and though Hakuba lost to Solomon, it was by a narrow margin. A second game against Yugi left Hakuba more soundly defeated, and looking worn despite his best efforts to hide it. Solomon promptly packed Hakuba off to the study to get some sleep, and he and Yugi went to bed not soon after. Riku went through the same motions with the pair and shut himself into the guest bedroom, but he ignored the bed.
Instead, he went to the closet and pulled out the black cloak for the second time that day. He didn't want to wear it, but it was still the only thing he owned, and he had some pride. And if, by some minuscule odds, he ran into either Mickey or DiZ while on his brief trip alone, he'd rather avoid any questions as to what had happened.
Still...
He slipped into the cloak, and very deliberately left the hood down. He might not be of the Shadows, like Kaito, but he wasn't a member of Organization XIII. That was... important.
Flipping off the light switch, Riku stood in the darkness and closed his eyes. Stretched out, seeking the darkness-in-light of Heartless in a world, near the strangely blank sense that denoted a Nobody's presence. He would find Xigbar, see if he was a threat, and either take him out or find Sora to wind up, aim, and fire in the Nobody's direction...
A twist of will, and a portal into the darkness beyond opened noiselessly.
He stepped through.
::evil laughter drifts up from beneath a mountain of textbooks::
2/08