Chapter 9—The Effect of Tweedlicks
"Okay…Gurdyroot...blankets…tent…tent poles…Polkinsty…two brooms… Spectrespecs …" Ed watched, fascinated, as Luna shoved what seemed to be the entire contents of the lab into the various pockets of a patchy sack. He couldn't believe everything could actually fit in there! Luna seemed to realize he was watching her and her hand paused over a few moth-eaten pillows. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she giggled.
"I've always wanted to be able to do that!" Ed laughed and raised the other one, after which Luna let loose with her signature laugh, forgot she was balanced precariously on a stool, and did a face plant into the pillows. She resurfaced, spitting stuffing out of her mouth and laughing even harder. Her long hair was covering her face and she pushed it firmly out of her eyes.
Ed grinned. "How do you get everything to fit in that bag?"
"Hermione taught me how to do a spell that makes packs and things able to hold a lot more than they actually can," explained Luna. "See? I even did it to your pants pockets so you can carry a whole bunch of the silver powder. You should never run out." She surveyed the eclectic pile surrounding her and then glanced up at Ed again. "Is there anything you think we're missing that we're going to need?"
Ed pondered theatrically for a moment, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "How about the kitchen sink?"
"Oh, but we've already got one of those," said Luna seriously. "Do you think we'll need another one?"
Ed didn't comment but merely brought a hand to his forehead. I should have known, he thought dryly.
Rosa fluttered into the lab from the kitchen carrying a large black box with silver symbols on the sides. "Luna, dear, here's the Locatorator. Is there anything else you need?"
Luna merely shook her head, but Ed's interest had been sparked. "Locatorator? What does that do?"
Luna smiled at him as she shoved her arm all the way in to a tiny pocket. "Oh, it's one of my mother's inventions. When she was researching Amestris she had to go all over the world and it got very tiring trying to find food all the time. And Rosa was here in the lab with full access to the kitchen, so they invented this box to transfer food from a similar box in the kitchen to this box, no matter where or when it is. It's very handy, and keeps food the proper temperature."
"That's amazing," said Ed, remembering all the times he had gone hungry on the road in Amestris. He was really starting to appreciate this whole magic thing.
"Of course it is," said Rosa. "I helped invent it."
Ed rolled his eyes and turned back to the pile of lab notebooks he was going through, trying to decide which ones they needed to take with them to this 'Sweden' place. His Spectrespecs, attached to a thin chain, had become a permanent fixture around his neck. Luna had added a necklace of moldy-smelling corks that she said would keep his luck 'fizzy.' Ed wasn't sure what that meant, but he was willing to bet that it had something to do with magic, and Ed was willing to trust Luna. Even if he did look a little eccentric while doing it.
No secrets were hidden in the book he was holding, so he put it in the rather substantial 'Not necessary to this trip but may come in useful to Luna after she gets that awful boy back to whatever God-forsaken place he came from' box.
No prizes for guessing who gave the boxes their names.
"Luna, dear," said Rosa, "Do you think you should bring a brick of Honeyduke's?"
Ed glanced up at this newest phraseology, and watched as Luna chewed her thumbnail. "Do you think we'll need some?"
"Well, Luna darling, the Department of Magical Malfunctions hasn't been able to round up all the rogue Dementors, and there's talk of them gathering together just west of London. You may encounter a few, and I'd like you to be prepared."
"Oh, but Harry taught me to do a Patronus, and I've been practicing!"
"Yes, dear, but what about after you chase them away? Don't you think you'll need a little pick-me-up?"
Luna agreed, and Rosa fluttered off to find a brick of Honeyduke's—whatever that was.
After a few moments of silence, Ed's curious nature overcame him and he had to ask.
"Luna, what the heck were you two just talking about?"
Luna looked up at him. "Would you like the long version or the short one?" she asked slowly in a voice that seemed dreamier than usual.
Ed paused. He was fairly certain he wanted to know the whole long version, but wasn't sure he could sit through an entire story. Impatience won. "The short."
"Okay," said Luna briskly, all dreaminess gone. "Honeyduke's makes chocolate, which makes people feel better after they've encountered Dementors, which are soul-sucking-happiness-eating monsters that recently got out of control from the Ministry of Magic, so the Department of Magical Malfunctions has been chasing them back under control with the use of Patronuses, which are wizard-produced forms of their happiest thoughts." She took a deep breath. "Understand?"
Ed sat with his mouth slightly agape. "Uh, what are Dementors again?"
Luna shivered. "They're awful. They suck all the happiness out of people."
"You said something about souls?"
Luna glanced away briefly. "The Dementor's most horrible weapon is their Kiss. It's when they suck out your soul."
"Can you get it back?"
Luna's big eyes were the most serious Ed had ever seen. "No."
Ed shuddered, thinking of his little brother and the price he had paid to get Al's soul back. "That's horrible."
Luna nodded. "That's why we like them to be under ministry control. They used to guard our prisons, but they went away to serve another master."
"Is this master still…?"
"No, Harry killed him."
"That black-haired boy with the glasses that knew I wasn't a muggle?" Luna nodded. "No wonder he was so suspicious."
Luna nodded again and she and Ed both got lost in thought. There was a thump, and Rosa returned, flying low and toting a massive hunk of chocolate that she placed with relief in Luna's waiting hands.
Ed returned to reading, and Luna took up her pocketed pack again.
A while had passed before Ed sighed and tossed away another notebook. It seemed that only the last twenty or so were the ones that contained hidden messages. The rest, though interesting, didn't contain the mysterious letters 'CHS.' He was also a little disappointed that there was no further mention of the place known as 'Sweden.' Luna seemed to know where it was, but Ed had never even heard of the place. Luna hadn't had time to answer all of his important questions like, "Are the people at war?" "What kind of powers do they have?" and "What's the food like?"
Thinking of food reminded Ed of food, which reminded his stomach that he was hungry. He was just about to say something about eating when Rosa called them into the kitchen for lunch.
You know, thought Ed to himself as he seated himself in front of the table, I could definitely get used to this. There were three kinds of chicken, rice, shepherd's pie, a few things Ed couldn't name, and steak with fried mushrooms piled on top. Bowls of mangos and pineapple dotted the table, and in every free inch there was a different kind of vegetable. For dessert Rosa brought out her famous butter tarts and served them with ice cream and a small lump of lemon sherbet.
Ed was just reaching for his second helping of ice cream when a click-thud-Oof! and a muffled curse were heard from the lab room. Ed's metallic hand froze, still clutching the bright red ice cream scoop. His eyes met Luna's, and simultaneously they slipped from their chairs to peer around the kitchen door.
There was nothing there.
"Hmm," pondered Luna aloud. "Maybe a Tweedlick? They have a great nose for sniffing out people that are hiding and spook them into thinking that--"
"Luna, be quiet," Ed hissed. He strained his ears, ignoring Rosa's angry pecking. Nothing seemed to be out of order. The dishes behind him were clinking softly, scrubbing away the remnants of lunch. Some 'poly juice' bubbled sinisterly in a corner of the lab over a green fire. Nothing else made a noise.
Ed turned to Luna, who was watching him in awe. He raised an eyebrow at her, and her shoulders shook in silent laughter. It made Ed feel better just to see her so calm.
"Luna, let's go out and check behind a few of the lab benches." Luna nodded and started to crawl out of the kitchen. Ed quickly grabbed her elbow. "Not yet!" he whispered hastily. "You grab your pack and dump in that pile of notebooks. Then meet me at the left corner of that first lab bench and we'll check together. If I yell 'Sweden', then it's that shield spell on three, run to the lab door, and into the marsh, got it?"
Luna smiled and hit the side of her nose with her thumb. "And if I do that, it means shield spell on two, shoot through the ceiling, into the marsh, and circle around back to the base of the pillar, where Rosa will have planted brooms so we can escape into the sky!"
"Uh… sure."
"Oh, I do love making plans!" exclaimed Luna. Then she turned and crawled toward the 'Absolutely essential for this trip to return the awful LITTLE boy back to his God-forsaken place of residence' box. Ed held his breath.
Nothing happened.
Luna dumped the notebooks into her pack.
Still nothing happened.
Luna crawled to the left corner of the first lab bench and waved at Ed to come out of the kitchen.
And nothing happened.
The thought went through Ed's mind that if there really wasn't someone there, then this would look absolutely ridiculous. Then he crawled out of the kitchen and joined Luna at the left corner of the first lab bench.
It was when he absently noticed that he couldn't see Luna's shirt against the flamboyant coloring of the lab benches that Ed realized his mistake.
"Luna! Do wizards have ways of hiding themselves?!"
Luna looked confused for a moment. "Oh, you mean like Chameleon Spells and Invisibility Cloaks?"
Ed blanched. "Yes," he whispered softly. "Like that." Then he watched as from behind Luna's head a small cloud of silvery powder that seemed to be caught on thin air moved toward them. "Exactly like that."
Luna, who had noticed neither the cloud nor Ed's quickly paling face, continued. "Well, Mad-Eye could do a really good Chameleon, but he's dead. And Professor Dumbledore could make himself invisible, but Harry's the only person I know who owns a Cloak."
Ed grabbed Luna's hand and moved his head quickly toward hers so his lips were an inch from her ear. "Sweden," he whispered, barely moving his lips. He let go of her hand. "One."
Luna surreptitiously pulled her wand from her sleeve and wiped it gently on her pants.
"Two."
The silver powder that Ed could only guess was clinging to an Invisibility Cloak sped up.
Just as Ed opened his mouth to yell 'three' and clapped his hands, Luna's eyes grew wide and she frantically started thumbing her nose.
But Ed's hands had already hit the floor. A large wall of rock broke free from the floor of the lab, scattering notebooks helter-skelter across the floor. One rammed into the hovering powder and ripped a silvery garment off the surprised forms of Harry and Ron. Ed quickly raised his hands and clapped again, just as Luna leaped behind him screaming, "No, Hermione!"
Ed whirled to face a blobular thing rising up from the floor. It took him a moment to realize that he was seeing the lab, but it was distorted through the form of a bushy-haired girl.
Oh, so THAT's what a Chameleon Spell is, thought Ed. He gritted his teeth and plunged his hands to the floor.
But his brief pause had cost him. He heard the girl—Hermione—yell, "Petrificus totalus!" and his flesh arm froze millimeters away from the floor. Ed watched in horror as the freezing sensation in his arm traveled rapidly throughout his entire body, numbing his nerves so that he couldn't even feel his metallic limbs to move them. With a heavy crash, Ed toppled sideways to the floor.
Luna cried out and brought her wand up. Hermione was too fast for her. She whispered an apology and put the same curse on Luna as well. Luna's eyes grew wider and she too fell to the floor, her elbow just inches away from Ed's nose, hands still clutching her multi-pocketed pack.
Ed could hear rustling behind him. "Well," said a voice that he knew to be Ron's, "not one our smoothest operations, but all in all quite well done, don't you think?"
The boy Harry grunted in what could have been confirmation or disagreement. Ed felt a shoe pressing into his back.
"Look at his coat," Harry said. "Does that look like a snake to you?"
Hermione moved to stand beside him. "I guess if you look at it a certain way…"
"Hey, he's got a watch!" said Ron.
Ed struggled as hard as he could against the curse, but he couldn't move and had to lie helplessly as the red-head dug into his pocket and opened his watch.
"Remember…"
The three were silent for a moment, reading.
"October was the month Voldemort killed my parents."
"Yes, Harry, but the numbers don't make any sense. Your parents—and Voldemort—were destroyed on the 31st; the day here is too early."
Ed was mad. There they were, discussing the PRIVATE contents of his PRIVATE property, and here he was, lying on the ground like an imbecile, unable to move, speak, or do alchemy. He seethed and strained his battle-trained muscles as hard as he could again.
One metallic finger twitched.
The three were arguing (Fidelius? What kind of name was that?)—they hadn't noticed. Ed concentrated as hard as he could, and was rewarded with a slight movement from his automail toes. His flesh did nothing, but one working hand was all Ed needed. He waited until he was sure they were all looking at his watch again and then focused all his energy on moving his metal arm.
It shifted!
The trio seemed to notice something so Ed stilled his arm again. They went back to arguing, and Ed would have grinned—if his mouth hadn't been frozen in a rather atrocious grimace.
Ed moved his arm another few inches, and had just reached his non-metal hand when a shoe pressed into his shoulder.
"Uh-uh, I don't think so," said Harry.
Ed grinned.
On the inside, at least. His face was still frozen, of course. But he really wished he could have turned his head to see Harry's face when his metal hand (holding his real one) hit the floor and transmutated a large cage over his three captors. Still with his hands pressed to the floor, Ed shoved his metal leg deep into the lab's floor, giving him a sturdy foundation to create a 'floor wave' that carried him, the still-frozen Luna, and her many-pocketed pack toward the door.
Ed caught Luna's eye; he could tell she was laughing, even if she couldn't move. Ed wished he could laugh, too. Wizards! If they thought they could trap him with a freezing curse, well! That'll teach them to mess with the Fullmetal Alchemist!
The lab floor, still protectively cradling Ed and Luna, surged up through the stairwell and into the afternoon sunlight.
He should have known, Ed thought as a curse hit him directly in the back. These wizards weren't as stupid as he thought they were. Ropes tightened around his body, pulling his hands from the former floor. The wizards had just been in a war, after all. They knew that in order to win they couldn't just make a front and think that was all they needed. Ed saw Luna apprehended out of the corner of his eye and wrenched his leg from the ground to try to kick everything in sight. Oh, yes. These wizards knew they needed back up, guarding possible escape routes. Another rope curse hit him, tying his legs together. Still his metal limbs fought against the binding spells. Yet another curse hit him on the shoulder, glancing slightly off his automail.
Ed could feel the effects of this one immediately. Several four-letter words traveled through Ed's mind as he felt his eyes grow heavy and his body tiring, forcing him to sleep. Ed struggled to keep his eyes open, but his vision blurred, leaving only the dim outline of a balding red-head.
Ed was well and truly caught.
Well, Chapter 9!! More of the trio, but oh well. This was my longest chapter yet, I think! It's to make up for the last one or two being kind of short.
Okay, so I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I'm going back to college in a few weeks! The bad news is I didn't keep my GPA high enough (A 3.54 isn't high enough--I need a 3.6. Shoot me now), so I can't keep my scholarship. So what does that mean to you, my daaaaaahling readers? That means that I have to work during college and work harder on my school stuff so I can maybe get a scholarship for next year, which means I may not have time to keep up the updating schedule. But...
I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON THIS STORY!! I'll need something to relax occasionally, and I'm really getting into this. It's so much fun!! I might get one more update in before school starts, but if I don't, well then, don't panic. It will be updated!!
On a different note, I recently read the Maximum Ride series. Awesome books, and flippin' hilarious. Not enough romance, but they were really good. I definitely recommend them to anyone looking for a few good YA novels.
Thank you sooooooo much for all your reviews! I love opening my email and seeing a big long list of stuff from '' It makes me so happy!
Hugs and um...kisses, I guess, if you want them. From Ed. Not that he would give them. Ever. ;)
churu