Chapter 15—When meeting a Gredfilzing Noddingromp

Ed's sanity was saved, however, by the fact that no one really knew what they were doing, where they were going, or how they were going to do it.

"We're looking for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, we're starting at the lab to ask Rosa if my mother left behind any instructions on how to find them, and…um…then we're going to follow those instructions!" Luna explained with gusto.

Thus, with harmonious grumbles from Dean's and Ed's stomachs, they made their way to Note's balcony, whereon lay six broomsticks. Ed did some quick mental math.

"So…who gets to ride with someone else?"

"Luna can ride with me," said Dean in an off-hand manner. Ed couldn't really make their relationship out. He was pretty sure they knew each other from school, but after that he had no idea. Most of the time he got the vibe that Luna bothered Dean. But it wasn't quite like that, either. It was something he couldn't put his finger on. Al had always told him he wasn't the most perceptive.

Whatever. It was probably nothing. Maybe his dad owed her dad money or something.

Note shook his head in response to Dean. "We should probably have the smallest people ride together."

"That would be me and Ed!" shouted Luna.

Dean snorted behind his hand as Ed looked at Luna incredulously. "Dude, I think she just called you short."

Ed sighed. "Uh huh. But she doesn't even realize it so I can't get mad at her."

"So if I accidentally refer to your lack of height, you wouldn't get mad at me?"

"You would never accidentally refer to my—hey!"

"Got you."

"Shut up."

Ed angrily got on his and Luna's broom. Honestly, what were wizards thinking when they thought of these things? It was only his second time riding on one, and the first time he had barely made it to Dean's apartment alive.

"Up and away!" shouted Note, and they all pushed off to fly into a glorious sunrise.

Or, it would have been glorious had the weather not been atrociously cloudy, rainy, and cold.

Ed held tightly onto Luna's waist with slippery fingers and looked toward the clouds. It was almost hard to believe he had only come to this world a week and a half previously.

"We're going to fly above the clouds so we don't get so wet!" shouted Note.

Too late, thought Ed. His grip tightened on Luna as they flew up over a cloud.

Al would have loved this. He took a hand from Luna's waist and shielded his eyes to look over the yellow- and gold-tinted clouds at the newly visible sun.

"Hey, Luna!" Ed had to shout to be heard over the rushing of the wind.

"What?"

"What's that black speck over there?"

Luna peered over her shoulder and the broom tipped dangerously. "I don't know!"

Dean swooped over to fly beside them. "What's up?"

"What's that black thing?"

He looked over. Ed noticed that his broom stayed level. "Probably just an airplane."

Ed looked back over at it. "Airplanes are machines, right?"

"Yeah, muggle ones."

"So how come the wings are flapping?"

Dean squinted into the sun. "Huh. Maybe a bird?"

"It could be a Gredfilzing Noddingromp," stated Luna. "They're really rare and have been known to imitate unidentified flying objects."

"That's not a UFO, Luna."

"I don't know, Dean." Ed grinned at him. "We don't know what it is, it's flying, and it's definitely some sort of object."

"Clever, Ed. Ten points for originality."

Note pulled back on his broomstick and the others fell in beside them. "What's going on?"

"See that black thing over there?"

Note squinted. "Huh. That's odd."

Ed peered back at it. "Hey, look. There are smaller black things surrounding it."

Bill dug his wand from his sleeve. "Charlotte, what's the spell to make you able to see farther?"

" 'Arimaquel.'"

"Arimaquel." The others watched as Bill quickly scanned the on-coming black specks. Ed's stomach sunk just as fast as all the color draining from Bill's face.

"Well?" Note was not very patient.

"Um…well…I don't really know how to say this…"

"Spit it out, Bill!"

"…You know those rogue dementors that the Ministry has been trying to round up?"

Ed watched as every wizards' eyes grew wide. "What about them?" asked Note. His voice shook.

"Well, they've been round up. By a dragon. And they're coming straight for us."

There was a moment of silence as they took in the gravity of the situation.

"Wait. Aren't Dementors those things that suck out people's souls?" Ed vaguely remembered Luna mentioning them.

"Yes, Ed." Dean's normally dark face was an unusual shade of green.

"And I suppose dragons really exist, then."

"Yes."

"Huh."

"Um…Note? What do we do now?" Ed could see Dean's hands shaking on his broomstick. He looked at Note. The older man wasn't faring too well.

Great. Trust a wizard leader to freeze in an emergency.

Ed glanced back at the black specks that weren't really black specks anymore. Wow. Those things can move fast. Ed looked back at Note, who still looked like he had had the entire world thrust upon his shoulders and had no idea what to do with it. Luckily for the entire group, Ed was very practiced in perilous situations.

"Down!" he shouted, getting everyone's attention, while shoving Luna's head forward, effectively forcing the broom to move downward. "We'll hide in the clouds!"

Charlotte was the first to react, and she quickly dropped her broom a few yards. "That'll work for now, Ed, but the Dementors will be able to sense us!"

Ed swore. Perfect. "Note! Is there any place we can hide on the ground? Maybe back at your place?"

Note seemed to rediscover his leadership skills as he pulled up beside Luna's and Ed's broomstick. "We'd have to go toward them to get back to my place. We're about half-way to the lab now—it should have anti-Dementor spells on it, right Luna?"

Luna shook her head slowly. "Ed destroyed those when he was practicing alchemy."

Ed had a brief flashback of creating a rather monstrous pillar and kicked himself. Mentally, of course. It was rather difficult to kick himself while riding on a broomstick.

Note scratched his chin. "Then that leaves…your house?"

"We haven't put them back up since it was destroyed last year."

"What about the Weasley's?" Tom interjected.

"Weasley's it is, then," decided Charlotte. She tucked her broom into a dive and took off.

"Wait! What happened to me making the decisions!?" shouted Note at her rapidly disappearing back.

Bill tsked and shook his head as the rest of them followed Charlotte. "She's a woman, Note. They always make the decisions."

Note grumbled intelligibly.

"Just wait until you're married. Then you'll know what I'm talking about."

Ed could hardly feel the freezing rain stinging as it hit his face. He grabbed Luna's waist more tightly as they fell in behind Bill and Note with Tom bringing up the rear. The air grew even colder, and suddenly Ed couldn't breathe.

"Luna…"

He was drowning. The rain-soaked clouds crept around the edges of his vision, soaking through his skin and fogging his mind.

"Luna…what…"

He couldn't see. He couldn't feel. There was a salty taste in his mouth, and Ed realized he was crying. The sound of the wind faded away until all that was left was the scream of a little boy crying for help from his older brother.

"…Al."

It was blessed relief when he finally let go of consciousness—of Luna—slipped off the broomstick, and plummeted through the rain toward the ground below.

*

There were clouds. Lots of them. Ed reached out a finger and pushed a creeping tendril away. It was soft, like a kitten's fur. Impossible. Clouds were just accumulations of condensed water formed around small particles of dust. They were wet, not soft.

"That's because they aren't clouds."

It was almost as though he was expecting the voice. Ed turned slowly, and there in front of him was—

"A pig?"

The pig chuckled. "Not a pig. The Pig. The Transcendent Pig. I've been looking for you." The Pig paused. "Though, in all actuality, I am looking for you, as well."

"Me?"

"Yes, you, Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist."

"You know me?"

"Of course. I am transcendent, you know."

Ed looked around. "Where are we?"

"I believe a better question would be where are you, for I am everywhere and everywhen and nowhere and nowhen and it might take a little too long to discuss the exact arrangement of those places with a time- and location-laden person like yourself."

The Pig was rather full of himself, Ed decided.

"What is this place, then?"

"An altogether more excellent question, though one I'm afraid I will not answer."

Ed sighed and crossed his arms. "What can I ask, then?"

"Anything, but I choose to answer or not answer." As an afterthought, the Pig added, "But don't ask me about the meaning of life."

Ed shrugged. He didn't really care about the meaning of life. A sudden thought came to him. "How do I get back to my world?"

"Your universe, Edward Elric. There is a difference, you know."

"Whatever. How do I get back?"

"The answer lies with you."

"That's a ridiculous answer."

The Pig smiled. "It is the only one I can give."

"Fine. Then where are the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks?"

The Pig cocked his head. "Why, you know already. You are wasting your questions."

"You haven't answered any of my questions yet! And what do you mean, wasting questions?"

"You will ask three more questions."

Ed thought quickly. How could he get the most information out of this Pig without wasting questions? And what did he really want to know?

"Al?"

The Pig smiled again. "Yes."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"If you think about it, it does. Besides, a one-worded question deserves a one-worded answer, don't you think?"

Ed pondered for a moment. Everything about Al—did he have his body back? Was he eating right? Was he being looked after? Was he happy?—all could be answered with 'yes'. "I guess it does answer my question. Then next…

"Am I dead?"

The Pig laughed. "Yes. And no. You forget that I am the Transcendent Pig. You are dying, you are being born, you are in Amestris, you are in England—all now, all here. This is you, Edward Elric. I am merely watching. You must discover for yourself what and where and when you are."

The Pig turned his head slightly to glance behind him. "And now you are being called. It is pleasant chatting with you, Edward Elric."

"Wait—what about my third question?"

The Pig laughed. "That is three, Edward Elric." And It was gone.

"Ed!"

He looked up. The soft clouds caressed his face.

"Ed!"

He wiped a particularly fluffy one away from his eyes and felt wetness.

"Ed!"

That's right. He had been crying. Crying and…

*

Falling!

"Ed!"

"Luna!"

Ed reached up to the small scared girl rushing toward him on a broomstick. A few yards more—a few feet—a few inches—

She was lying flat on her broom, arm extended as far as she could reach. Ed strained his arm a little farther. Their fingers met and Luna dragged him onto the front of the broomstick, facing her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and Ed could tell she was crying. He put a tentative hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Ed! Luna!" Ed turned to see Dean speeding toward them.

"It's okay! We're alright!" Ed waved at him, but Dean didn't slow down. He shouted something that Ed didn't quite catch.

Ed didn't need to see Dean's dark eyes widen to know that something was very wrong. Ed felt a chill creep up his spine that had nothing to do with the weather.

The meaning of Dean's words suddenly became quite clear.

"Behind you!"

Was the Transcendent Pig too much? While I was writing it, I couldn't decide, so I just left it in. I've been kind of mentioning things from other books and anime and things like that, so I thought it was okay, but now I'm not so sure. Meh. Whatever. It's from the Young Wizard books, just in case you were wondering.

Hopefully this chapter was better than the last few! More action, maybe? They actually moved! And we've got the homonculus with the Dementors again! Yay! This whole story is kind of random. Oh well. It's Fanfiction. It's supposed to be random.

...right?

Anyway, thanks so much for the reviews! I've almost got 300! That is sooooooooooooo amazing!

Thanks again!

churu

PS. Muahahahaha. Cliff-hangers are so much fun to write!

PPS. I've posted the cracky Chapter 14 under Anime Misc. If you want to read it, go ahead. Don't judge too harshly! ;P