A/N: Hola, hola, hola! I'm back with E is for Evergreen Part II, so let's get to it!
Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, Sharpie, Oldsmobile, Mazda, or any tree farms. Or Lowes.
E is for Evergreen- Part II
"JIN-GLE. ALL. THE. WAAAAAYYYY!" Travis shouted off-key at the top of his lungs while his fiancée tried (and failed) to suppress laughter.
"Eyes on the road, Mister Presley." Katie laughed, swatting Travis from the passenger side seat.
"A-Thank you, Thank ya very much." Travis mock-bowed in an Elvis-like manner.
Katie turned and stared out the foggy window, a faint smile on her lips. Even she had to admit that this Christmas was going to be fun- after all, it was her first with Travis.
Katie was broken out of her reverie as Travis exclaimed. He tugged on the wheel and slammed his foot onto the brake. The wheels locked up as they spun a 180 on a huge patch of ice on the slick road. With a shriek, Katie's hands flew to the seat as she hung on for dear life. A scream ripped out of her throat as her life flashed before her eyes.
"Katie!" Travis hollered, the shocks on the car groaned, the brakes and tires squealed, and Katie screamed as the car flipped and flew into the nearby ditch.
~*~*~P~*A~*G~*B~*R~*E~*A~*K~*~*~*~
"Travis! Travis, God dammit, answer me!" Katie screeched, clawing uselessly at the twisted metal that trapped her fiancé within. "Travis!" She sat back on her knees and cried helplessly.
Wait a second.
Helplessly?
Helplessly.
Help.
She stood up on shaky legs and scrambled up the side of the hill (ditch). It was straight up, and Katie's fingers were already damaged and bleeding from her digging her way out of the destroyed car. They were freezing from the cold, and a jolt of pain shot up her right leg every time she put weight on it. But she had to try. For Travis, lying in a shell of a car in a ditch far away from help. For Travis, who was undoubtedly unconscious and hurt. For Travis, possibly…dead. She could hardly stand to think of it. Travis.
She stuck her hand into the looming wall of snow, ignoring the shock of the cold, and then stuck her foot it, wincing as again pain shot up her leg. It quickly became unbearable, and she collapsed, defeated.
She crawled over to the large green Christmas tree, lying off to the side, bits of blue rope still tucked into it's branches where Travis had tied it to the top of their car.
She hiccupped and brushed away a tear.
"Obviously, the cold air's getting to you." A familiar voice sounded from behind her.
Katie whipped around to be met with a familiar smirk. She sat in stunned silence for a minute then stood up slowly, shakily, one hand on the fallen tree.
"Wh-what….what?" Katie stuttered.
"What what?"
"What…what…how are you here?"
"Um…same as you?"
"No dip, Sherlock! I….I just thought….."
"Thought what? That I was dead? Trapped?" Travis frowned slightly. "Your lack of faith in my skills wounds me, Katie-Kat, really."
"Your…skills?"
"Yes, my skills! I'm a son of Hermes, escaping unscathed is my specialty. Well, one specialty among many others." He grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Katie angrily smacked him on the shoulder. How dare he pop up out of nowhere, perfectly fine, and act as though they hadn't both just almost died? And joke?
"This isn't funny!" She roared.
"Never said it was!" He defended, raising his hands up in an I surrender gesture.
Katie began to pace, keeping the weight off of her right leg in an amusing way, ignoring Travis completely. She had totally gotten over the fact that he was perfectly fine rather quickly. "What are we going to do?"
"Well, I don't think we are going to drive anywhere…" Travis trailed off, looking at the mangled car.
Katie stared at him, and much to her embarrassment, began to cry. "What if you did die?" She cried, tears streaming over her cold face.
Travis's face softened, and he walked over to Katie and attempted to comfort her. "But I didn't. We are both okay."
"What if I had died? Then you would have lost both of us!" Katie hiccupped. Travis's face paled, the blood draining from his face.
"You didn't." He whispered.
Get a hold on yourself. Katie scolded herself. He's right. Forget what has already happened; you're alive. Now to stay that way, you need to get it together and get help.
Katie wiped the tears off of her face and pulled away from Travis's embrace. She held out her hand. "Give me your cell phone. I lost mine." She said.
By now, Travis was used to Katie dramatic mood changes. He pulled his phone out of his pocket; it had a crack down the screen, but it would still work. He placed it in Katie's waiting palm and stepped back to give her space.
She powered it on with a grimace. She really tried not to use cell phones for fear of monsters, but nearly every demigod carried one around (kept off, of course) in case of emergency.
And she assumed that this counted as an emergency.
Quickly, she punched in a number.
"Hullo?" A foggy voice sounded.
"Miranda!" Katie let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "I'm so, so glad you're home!"
"Katie? Oh, I thought this was Travis…"
"I'm using his phone. I….erm, lost mine."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Well, according to the GPS thingy-mabob on this phone, I'm currently on Route 607 in Bloomsville, about 4 and half miles down from Tucker's Truckstead. Can you come get us?"
"Tucker's Truckstead? Ooh, that place has amazing ribs! …..Wait a minute. Why are you on Route 607? Are you hitchhiking?"
"Um…..well, I'm actually ditch-hiding…"
"Ditch-hiding?"
"…Yeah."
"What the Hell is ditch-hiding? Wait, let me guess- Travis said something about how when he was a kid, he and Connor always did this ditch-hiding thing, and it's so fun, and maybe you should do it. And you did, but then you got lost. Correct?"
"Umm…not exactly. Travis and I actually made it up ourselves." Katie lied smoothly.
"…No. No way."
"Yeah. And, um, we're kind of….stuckish."
"Stuckish?"
"…yes?…."
Katie heard Miranda groan. "How did you get stuckish?"
"Well, I climbed into this one ditch, then when I tried to get out of it, I realized that I couldn't. Then, when Travis tried to help me, he fell in, too. So will you come get us?"
Suddenly, Travis plucked the phone from Katie's grasp and put it to his ear. "Miranda? Hey, yeah, are you with Connor? Beast. Will you put him on for me?"
Katie gave his a strange look as Travis was waiting for his brother to talk.
"What?" He asked. "You guys were taking too long, and I don't know about you, but I'm freezing."
Katie just rolled her eyes. Duh.
"Hey, C-Man, wassup?" Travis said into the phone. "Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I don't think so. Yeah. Good idea. Absolutely, good thinking. The rubber chicken. No, off-white. More stuff inside. Totally." He laughed. "Yes, bring it, too. And the wrench." He eyed the ditch. "And some rope. Lots of rope. We need the rope." He nodded in satisfaction. "Awesome! Yeah, Gizzard-Licker Diner. Ha! No, no…the other one! Beehive! Yeah!" He chuckled, then looked up at the sky. "Parkas, please. Yes! I'm sorry. I hate you." He frowned, then paused, then grinned. "I love you! You too. Yeah. See ya. Jackknife." He hung up and powered the phone off. He shoved it into his pocket, then turned to Katie. "Help is on the way, my love."
~*~*~*~*~*~*Pagebreak!~*~*~*~*~*~
Fortunately, the only monster that appeared was an old, slow Fury. They (Travis) easily defeated it, then they (Travis) pushed the Christmas tree back a little bit farther so they (Travis) had enough room to build a snowman.
Which was what they (Travis) were doing when they (Travis) got the phone call with the bad news: Connor could only find "the yellow one", which apparently would either seriously postpone or cancel the entire rescue mission. Katie was completely confused, but Travis was appalled.
After Travis hung up and put the phone away, and they (Travis) defeated a gorgon, they decided to take action themselves.
Which led to….well, you'll see.
~*~*~*~*~*~Keyboard Spazzzz!*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Get in."
"No!"
"Come on, Katie!"
"No! Absolutely not!"
"Katie, it's our only shot!"
"I'd rather take that shot through my brain!"
"Please!"
"Not happening."
"For me?"
"Definitely not happening."
"Babe….if I have to force you to get it, I will."
"I'll snap your femur."
"It's the only way! We will most definitely die if we don't!"
"And most definitely die if we do!"
"So it's a lose-lose situation- so let's take a chance! At least if you die this way, it will be quick, and you won't suffer like if you stay here."
"…..fine." Katie grudgingly got into the car. Yes, that car. The mangled one that was in even worse condition than that old hunk of junk the man-baby from the tree farm drove.
Travis slid into the driver seat, careful to avoid places where he might have missed a few pieces of glass.
After a few slams, he managed to get the key into the ignition. He turned it and after a bunch of sputters and a clod of black smoke, the car (somewhat) came to life.
Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.
At least two of the car's tires (the front right, the back left) were completely junk, flat and popped. He managed to chug the car around and up hill, but about halfway to the top, the steep hill became too much for the little, piece-of-crap foreign car, and they collapsed under the strain and parts flew everywhere, and they rolled back down the hill.
"No!" Travis angrily slammed his fist on the steering wheel. It let out a pitiful, little ree-eep.
Then promptly fell off into his lap.
"Damn it!" Travis yelled, taking the steering wheel and literally kicking the door right off it's hinges. He threw the steering wheel into the woods, screaming profanities and kicking everything he could while Katie just sat in silence in the front seat.
Soon, Travis grew silent as he plunked down onto the fallen Christmas tree. Katie got out of the hunk of metal and made her way to him. "Hey. It's okay." She awkwardly patted his arm. "You tried. It was a good idea, though,"
"You're just saying that."
"Yeah, I am." Katie admitted. "It was bound to fail."
"Katie, your lips are turning blue. Come here." Travis patted his lap.
"I'm not going to sit on your lap."
"If you don't wanna turn into a popsicle, you will." Travis chided, patting his lap invitingly again.
With a sigh, she plopped down on his lap. He encircled his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. "See, isn't this more warm and cozy?" He asked.
"Yes." Katie admitted sheepishly. "The worst part is, we just spent hours looking for the perfect tree, and got molested by a creepy fat man, and now the tree has hunks missing and we won't be able to take it with us." She let out a sigh. "We wasted, like, our whole Saturday."
"Katie?"
"Yes?"
"It's Tuesday."
"Whatever!"
Travis sighed and scanned their surroundings for the fifty millionth time. And, once again, his gaze drifted over to the area right behind his snowman, Mr. Snoffles. He had a feeling that that area could be really useful, but he wasn't sure how.
"Hey Kates?" He interrupted Katie, who was in the middle of a rant about how she was missing Chloe King and was going to die of a stupid Christmas tradition.
"What?" She snapped.
"What if we walk further down, until we find a place that isn't so steep, so we can climb up?" He asked.
"Which way?"
"That way." Travis pointed. "Behind Mr. Snoofles."
They both got up and walked over to the smallish opening in the trees. Katie grabbed her fiancé's hand as they trudged through the shin-deep snow.
~*~*~*~*~*~*WowMyCatIsSoFluffy!~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, it took a while, and they (Travis) walked a long time, but eventually, they found an easily accessible ditch side to climb up.
Travis set Katie down. Do you think you can walk up the hill by yourself? Or should I carry you?" He asked, still holding her hand.
"I can do it." She replied with a yawn.
Hand-in-hand, they climbed up the hill to safety, together.
~*~*~*~*~*~MyNewTyeDyeShirtIsSoTrippy!~*~*~*~*~*~
As far as Katie was concerned, her small box old Michael Jackson CDs that she kept tucked under her bed at home go could burn in the embers of a hobo's trashcan. For the past hour, all she had heard was MJ song after MJ song after MJ song. She sitting on a cracked leather seat that smelled like beef jerky in the cramped front seat of a semi-truck driver's cabin. Even the trucker's radio had been silent for a while.
You see, after Travis and Katie climbed out of the ditch, a white semi-truck pulled over and it's driver had offered them a ride to the nearest rest stop. Which, unfortunately, was about and hour or so away from the pick-up spot.
But, she guessed Travis was worse off.
While Katie was smashed against the passenger side door, Travis was sitting in the middle of the seat, in between his fiancée and the driver.
The driver looked about his mid-forties early-fifties, and sported a gray and white beard. He had a red flannel shirt on, and he wore an old farmer's ballcap. A toothpick hung out of the side of his mouth. He'd introduced himself as Wayne, a lover of Michael Jackson.
Wayne hadn't really even acknowledged Katie, except to give her a dirty look when Travis introduced her as in so-to-be-wife. But he'd been all over Travis, peppering him with odd questions, calling him "boy", and making him feel rather awkward and uncomfortable.
"Well, boy, yer stop's approachin'." Wayne said. He placed his large hand on Travis's leg.
"Uh, yeah." Travis said, shrinking back against Katie, trying to get as far away from the man as humanly possible.
"That's too bad." Wayne said, as the truck rolled into a lot. His hand slid further up Travis's leg.
"Um. I guess." Travis turned to Katie, his face reading: Open the godsdamned door.
The truck completely stopped now. Wayne unbuckled his belt and rotated completely to face Travis. "Alrighty, there, boy. I wish ya didn't hafta go." His hand touched the side of Travis's face.
Katie unlatched the door and hopped out, not bothering to say thanks for the ride.
Travis bolted out, too. He bent down to pick up Katie's lipstick tube that'd fallen out of her purse when she jumped out.
Wayne whistled. "Damn, boy."
Travis grabbed Katie's hand and pulled her towards the phone. They stopped in time to turn around to see Wayne singing along to "Beat It".
"AOW!" Wayne shrieked along with MJ, pointing upward with one hand, and the other grabbed his crotch, mimicking Michael's trademark dance move.
The truck pulled out of the lot and onto the highway, revealing an old, piece-of-crap car that had pulled in.
The fat man-baby.
"I have this for you! FOR YOOOOUUU!" He cried, pointing at a huge piece of greenery tied haphazardly to the roof of his car.
"Holy shit!" Katie cried. It was the epic tree from the lot at Larry's. This guy had cut it down, then, seemingly cut it almost in half. It was a tree-square.
~*~*~*~*~*~*ImHungryFeedMe!~*~*~*~*~*~
And so, Travis and Katie did have a tree for their first Christmas together.
And they also got a new car.
And, the orphanage got a anonymous donation of Michal Jackson CDs.
And a fat, emotional man got a letter in the mail announcing that a restraining order had been placed on him.
Yeah, I know, I feel awful for not updating. But things have been off, like you would not believe. I'll post another for a late V-Day soon.
Read on and Rock out,
NinjaNakkiOfCabin11
=)