A/N: And I…RETURN! And I bring with me chapter 2 of Epic Fail! I think this chapter is sorta serious, like chapter one, though. =( Sorry, I know I promised humor, but I did stick some in in places! Sorry it's been a few days since I've updated, but I got kinda stuck on this chapter, so…..without further ado, I give you: Chapter Two! (RHYMED! XD)

I own nothing, except, Lilah, , Randy, Benjamin, Ray-Ray, and Adam =)

Reviews are beastly!

CHAPTER 3:

Lilah's P.O.V.

I saddled up Ginger, making sure the saddle was strapped on tight.

Earlier, after Randy said it was earth me or him, I'd ran up stairs, changed into a plain, pale pink, sorta ruffle-y button-down blouse, and pair of dark blue jeans, which I tucked into pale brown cowboy boots, then ran back downstairs and out of the back door. Amazingly, no one tried to stop me. Then again, nobody was there.

I patted Ginger and murmured to her about how pretty she is. In Hindsight, I probably shouldn't have taken her. But in my defense, my horse, Makayla, and her twin Xavier weren't old enough, Baby Cakes, was really pregnant, and Topher…just…no. He's my dad's, he's too strong for me, and he just plain hates me. Ginger was the only option.

I fed her a carrot, then grabbed the pail of yellow seed I use to feed the chickens. I slipped out of Ginger's stall with the bucket, leaving her happily munching on her veggies. I made my way across the muddy ground to the small, red chicken coop near the edge of our property in one direction. I opened the little chain link fence-gate, and did chicky-roll call.

Messi, our only female hen, was pecking at the ground, trying to find some hidden seeds. She was a total drama queen, very high maintenance. We even had to give her a bath every two days, or she wouldn't lay eggs.

Orlando, our only "stable" rooster, was strutting around in circles, trying to impress Messi. He was the "Big Chicken on Campus", and was full of himself, a ladies man, and very, well, cocky.

Bob finished up the roll call. His full name was Robert, hence 'Bob'. Robert or "Bob", was…..out there. I think there is something seriously mentally wrong with him. He's retarded.

Anyway, Bob currently had a piece of grass stuck to his head, and was flapping his wings as if he could fly. He suddenly started to run towards the chain-link fence, where he hit it head first. He bounced back, and landed on his butt. Then he stood up, and tried it again.

"Here, Chicky Chicky Chicky! Here, Chicky!" I cooed, spreading the seed here and there. Messi and Orlando immediately came over, clucking, pecking at the seeds. Messi even used her wing to push some over to the side of the fence to save for later.

I had to throw some seeds at Bob to get him to eat.

Eventually, after I tossed some more seed, I went out of the cage, locked it, and returned to Ginger.

I patted her, then threw one leg over her back. I straightened myself up and took the reins. "Let's go, girl." I told her. I walked her out of the stall and onto the dirt/muddy road. I flicked the reins.

"Go!" I shouted. She started to gallop. I felt myself smile. Riding was my most favorite thing in the world to do. "Woo-hoo!" I called, my long, black, straight hair blowing behind me in the wind. "Yes!" I shouted.

She galloped along, for miles and miles. Suddenly, I pulled back on the reins. "Woah!" I called, pulling up on the reins. She reared up, and let out a neigh. A giant Cobra sat up in the road in front of us.

"Sssssss….." It hissed at us. Ginger, startled, reared up. She bucked back, and I tumbled backwards. I cried out in alarm as I landed on the ground with a thud. Ginger neighed again as she darted to the side of the road.

"Sssssssss…die, daughter of Perssssssssephone….." The snake hissed. It lashed out at me, fangs gleaming in the hot Sun. I screamed and rolled to the side, accidentally rolling into the ditch next to Ginger.

Unfortunately, I was in the worst position available. A spooked horse was on its feet above me, and I was lying on the ground next to her hooves. Ginger reared up, and her hooves began their descent. I screamed.

Then suddenly, I was back on Ginger, in the road at the exact same spot where I'd seen the snake. The snake who was nowhere to be seen. It looked like everything was just as it was. Ginger was completely calm, as if nothing had happened. Puzzled, I looked around.

"Hello?" I called, looking around. Nothing. Maybe it was a dream. I shook my head and cantered on, all the way to the dirt side road where I turned. Looking back, I realized that the air smelled faintly of flowers and springtime air.

I got off of Ginger and tied her to a wooden post. I sprinkled a few sugar cubes around in the grass near her feet. "See you soon." I whispered to her, patting her nose.

I turned and weaved around all of the people crowded and milling around the clearing. I pushed past vendors and booths for assorted things. You see, I was at an olf fashioned outdoor market.

The very same thing that Heather lady died going to many years ago. And the same one my dad met my mom at 12 years ago.

"Lilah! Lilah, baby! Yous gotta try dis new perfume, eh?" A guy named Mack called to me. He was an old friend.

"Maybe later!" I shouted back.

"Yous betta!" He responded.

Smiling, I continued towards the edge of the clearing.

"Hey, Lilah! Haven't seen you in a while." Murphey, another vendor/friend called.

"Hi!" I waved. "I've been busy."

A middle-aged woman named Ruby stopped me. "Lilah, darling, your ensamble is quite a good look on you." She said with a smile.

"Yours too, on you." I awkwardly replied. She laughed her infamous laugh.

"Quite." She smiled. She saw someone behind me. "Oh, Richard darling!" She called, rushing off towards the man she'd seen. "Nice seeing you, dear!" She called back at me. I smiled and waved.

Finally, I reached the edge of the clearing. I brushed past the trees and slid through the weeds. I stopped and scanned the area, hoping hard. I caught a glimpse of red curls.

"Ray-Ray!" I called. "Ray-Ray!"

"Shut up, or you'll alert the whole wood!" She shouted back.

I was so happy I could cry. I ran towards the place I'd seen red hair and looked behind a large, big-leaved bush.

"Ray-Ray!" I cried, tackling my best friend in a hug.

"Woah, woah, woah, watch it!" She laughed, hugging me back.

I pulled away, not letting go of her arms. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever!" I squealed.

She frowned and stepped away. "Yeah, speaking of which, could ya let us know net time you plan to drop off the face of the earth?"

You see, this outdoor market is five months, every year, 20 hours a day, like clockwork. Ray-Ray and I were home schooled, so the first time we actually got to hang out with another kid our age is at the market (Because the Wal-Mart we visit isn't the ideal place for a playdate.) Normally, Ray-Ray and I hang out as much as possible for the five market months, but it was month three and I hadn't visited once.

"Yeah, we missed you." I whirled around to see a boy my age with brown hair tucked up under a paperboy-looking hat. I smiled even wider.

"Adam!" I exclaimed, running over to him and giving him a bear hug. "I missed you!" I smiled.

Adam smiled at me, his normal grin giving color to my black-and-white world. Adam had a smudge of dirt on his cheek, and his blue eyes shined with delight. He was missing a tooth ("My last one!" he proudly announced later) and his overalls, blue with pin-thin white stripes was a little tattered. He looked perfect.

Ray-Ray (Whose name was actually Rayna), Adam, and I had been friends ever since we spotted each other in the woods at this market many years ago. We were all the best of friends, an odd bunch, what with a boy whose destine fate was a farmer, nothing more; a girl with fiery red, annoyingly curly hair and hazel eyes that stopped changing color on the unfortunate day they turned gold; and a pale, naturally-glowing skinned, thin girl with black hair and baby-blue eyes.

"I missed you too." He said, giving me a crushing hug. I felt heat spread to my cheeks.

Ray-Ray coughed uncomfortably. "Erm, Earth to Adam!" She waved her hands wildly above her head. Adam let go of me.

"Oh, right, sorry." He said sheepishly, stepping over from next to me to next to Ray-Ray.

"Well, Lilah, you missed a bunch. A ton has happened, and later I need to speak to you girl-to-woman. And I call "woman"."

I scrunched up my nose. "You sound like you're going to give me the talk." I complained.

"Eww! Grody!" Ray-ray said, stepping back with her arms outstretched. "No way, Josie!"

Adam and I started at her. Adam burst into laughter. I smiled. "Josie? You mean Jose?"

Ray-Ray glared at me. "Well, Jose is a guy's name. And your not a guy, right?" She said. I burst into laughter alongside Adam. "Right?" She asked again, quickly, with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Yes," I replied, giggling. "I swear I am a girl."

Ray-Ray wiped imaginary sweat away from hr forehead. "Whew. Sweat off my forehead." She said dramatically. I laughed and gave her a little shove.

Our laughter died down. We all just kinda stared at each other.

"So…what now?"

"…..Have you guys heard anything about demonic cobras lunging at you in the middle of the road nearly killing you, then disappearing altogether?"

"Forget I asked."

So…watcha think? Anonymous reviews are turned on, so if you don't have an account or aren't logged in, you can still review! Anyway, I have a rant to do:

WHAT THE FUDGE? JENNIFER LAWRENCE? PLAYING KATNISS EVERDEEN IN THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE? ! The most coveted role in Hollywood is being handed over to someone completely wrong for the part. And yes, it's official, she IS ACTUALLY playing Katniss. That movie is now destroyed. I am so mad, I could brake something. -.- I now add her to the list of Actresses I Can't Stand:

1. Dakota Fanning

2. Anna Sophia Robb

3. Jennifer Lawrence

There. But I have a feeling HG will be one of those movies that they make again…and again…and again…..like, Romeo and Juliet, or the Mummy. (And, which, the originals of both of those movies sucked. So they is hope for us yet! The best versions are like, the third or fourth time they remake it! =P)

If you think I'm wrong, tell me. Seriously, I WANT YOUR OPINION.

Okay, so, anyway, back to Epic Fail. 17th reviewer gets honorable mention and a special surprise =) So 17th reviewer, include your name or your "computer name" (Mine is Kate. Not my real name, but a computer name.)

MY PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER:

(Not songs that inspired me, but songs I listened to as I wrote.)

1. Super Bass- Nicki Manaj (This goes for Chap. 1, too.)

2. Teach Me How To Dougie- Cali Swag District (Same as Super Bass) ((R.I.P. M-Bone! :'( ))

3. The Best Love Song- T-Pain feat. Chris Brown (Same as Super Bass)

4. Circus- Britney Spears

5. Watch Me- Zendaya and Bella Thorne (Um….don't ask…..)

Read, Review, and Love! (Sorry this AN was so long! If you read the whole thing put "Buns" in your review! ;) )

-Read on and Rock out,

NinjaNakkiOfCabin11