Tips for When you Jump Into the Deep

By Forgotten Sunrise

AN: I'm sorry about the first chapter. I just wanted to get everything out BEFORE the new book TTP (Which was amazing, but defiantly can't be Eoin Colfer last because they're too many loose ends) and I promise to go back and fix them all. I promise. As of now, between looking at the plot line I've laid out and the drawing I've made, I think this is going to turn into a long time project for those of you that care. So if anyone would like to beta this story, please, just send me a line and talk to me. It would be much appreciated . Now, on with the show!

I could never get
out from underneath this debt
the debt of kicking my broken soul
and breathing the life into me
I couldn't walk enough miles
I couldn't rope enough sky to give you

- Yellow Hammers I Could Never Repay Baby

Chapter 2: Repay

Whenever Juliet stepped out of the dorm, she would have to cross her hands neatly and placed them in her lap or behind her back. It was all she could do to keep herself from bashing the nearest boy's face in with her petite, but fatally strong fist. All the men gawked at her openly in the wide corridors, save Artemis and most of male staff. She was beginning to wonder why she ever bothered tagging along with Arty. Being the Jade Princess was the best thing that had happened in her life yet. But she missed Dom and the Fowl clan terribly during her leave in America. When Artemis had asked her to be his new 'personal assistant', she had agreed without a moment's hesitation, leaving her own personal dreams behind the great Atlantic ocean.

So now, here she was. Stuck in south of nowhere Country Wicklow, surrounded by a swarm of hormonal young men. It could be much worst; she had to keep reminding herself of that. Since Artemis's roommate, the infamous Roger P. Douglas, had failed to show up for orientation week (He said it was because he had to spend extra time in counseling, but Artemis and Juliet knew better than that), Juliet was able to spend that week with Artemis in his dorm, which was just fine by the both of them. Juliet was much more comfortable having Artemis near her, even though the possibility of something absolutely horrific happening there was slim to none. Womanly instinct, she supposed.

Currently, Juliet busied herself by unpacking the last of Artemis's items and ironing all twenty of his three pieces school uniforms. This was a little over the top for her; there was only seven days in a weeks (and he only had classes for four), and Artemis washed his cloths daily. But being over prepared made him content. You never know when your roommate might decide to 'borrow' a few of your uniforms for his own personal use, he had explained. She had just finished ironing the last of his suits when the dorm door cracked quietly open and shut again.

"How'd your Chemistry orientation go for ya?" she asked as happily as she could, as she hung his week suit over his loafers in the closet.

He sat his newest school book down with the rest on the bedside table.

"The curriculum is elementary, these textbooks are primary! I can't really call this a textbook, it more like a picture book, like the one Beckett and Myles uses to colour in." he grumbled. Juliet picked up the textbook and thumbed through it. The only pictures she saw were complicated semantics used to help better explain an even more complex concept. There was a pretty picture of a lily floating on top of a pool of water for the cover though.

"Yup, pretty primary for your average run-of-the-mill super genius."

Artemis shrugged and slipped into his comfy leather chair.

"This is pretty basic science Butler, I assure you. No one will have a hard time getting good marks with a professor as idiotic as ours. But that's a little matter. Have you seen the paper today?" When Juliet shook her head, Artemis pulled the cover page off the Wicklow Courier, and handed it over to her to read. She scanned it quickly.

"Oh gods!" she gasped. "Poor girls…well at least no one was hurt. I guess they will have to go for a while without a school to go to. I guess an extended summer holiday isn't too bad though…"

Artemis shook his head and stood up to go to his computer desk.

"Holy Names is our sister school, Butler. I haven't a doubt that Principal Guiney, will extended an olive branch to them and offer the girls a place to stay. Here." He opened a search browser and began to type feverously.

"Well, I don't think it would be too bad," Juliet commented airily. "You guys probably won't have mixed classes if that's what you're worried about."

He pulled up the Holy Names' school file on a student named Xia Perry. Little information was listed other than her name, age and current school I.D picture taken a few days prior.

"I'm more so worried about space. Both of our schools are small, but that still doesn't change the fact that it's going to take at least two halls to house them all…"

Juliet nodded once. She knew what he was saying.

I don't want to share anymore than what's possible.

"I can stay with you guys," She offered, knowing that if she kept her word, she would live to regret them. "That way, you wouldn't have to dorm with someone you may not like. And who's that?" she asked, pointing the wide, almond eyed, smiling girl that was pictured on his screen.

He gave the picture a quick look before closing the browser and facing Juliet.

"That would be Miss Perry, an aquatint of mine. She would also be Roger's estranged cousin."

"She's very pretty!" Butler commented with a wide smile on her face. "You have the hots for her or something?"

Artemis stared at her blankly for a few moments before replying.

"She's Roger's cousin one, and two, she has this quality about her. It can be very odd at time. I prefer to stay away from her."

He chose to say no more on the subject of Xia Perry. The very thought of her and their last meeting brought back all the eerie openness she had skillfully hammered out of him. He felt indebted to her, as if she was apart of the recent change in his demeanor. The thought made him shutter. Xia indeed, was his biggest problem.

Juliet rolled her eyes, but patted Artemis on his shoulder.

"You'll soon learn, my dear charge, that most women will have that sort of effect on you. It's called a crush. So get use to it." She said as she turned away. Artemis shook his head. If only Butler knew the half of the situation at hand, she'd know that this was not a crush at all.

The early evening dinning hall was packed with every single member of the Saint Bartleby community. Even Roger Douglas was present; skillfully arriving at the main gates just five minutes before the last class orientation ended. Artemis and Juliet along with Roger sat towards the back of the hall, a long with two of Roger's oldest mates, David Johnson and Nathan Smith.

"Roger!" Nathan welcomed his friend in with a punch on the shoulder. "Where've you been? You missed all of orientation."

Roger shrugged nonchalantly before taking a seat between Artemis and Juliet.

"Rehab and counseling held me up in Manchester. The doctors swear that I'm bipolar or something and think that I need to be on suicide watch! I'm not mentally disabled…Yet."

Artemis rolled his eyes. Although it was true that Roger was sent to rehab and counseling for the summer, he was released three days into his program. All the doctors agreed that it was most likely bouts with ADHD paired with extreme leniency form his parents that made Roger rash, not being bipolar.

"I trusted you've head all about what happened at Holy Names? Has Xia told you any news?"

It was the topic the whole school was talking about.

"Only that the main school building and most of the dorms were burnt down to the very last splinter! She took a video of it with her phone. You've gotta see the footage, absolutely amazing! Very good quality for a camera phone too I might add."

Nathan and David cheered at the idea of seeing the building engulfed in flames, but Artemis couldn't suppress a roll of the eyes. Typical, pyromaniac behaviour. He was about to unveil to them what that fire meant for them, but Mr. Guiney cleared his throat and called order to the dinning hall.

"As I'm sure all of you have heard by now, our sister school, Holy Names, had the terrible misfortune of having nearly their entire campus burn down on Wednesday. Most fortunately, none of the girls were hurt, as I'm sure you all are happy to hear, but their school is a complete loss." Guiney paused for a moment to let this sink into his boys. The more quick witted ones realized the gravity of the situation almost immediately and groaned loudly, placing their heads in their hands. However, most of the student body didn't get it and waited patiently for their headmaster to continue.

"Back in 1953, as I'm sure you all know, when our school had flooded, the women of Holy Names opened there doors and allowed us refuge until we were able to repair and move back into our home. The time has come, now, for us to repay them."

There wasn't a single boy left in that room that didn't understand what their principle was getting at, and the hall soon erupted into one loud roar of chaos.

AN: Okay, If you don't know who Xia Perry is or Roger Douglas, you can read about those two and their relations to Artemis in "First Impressions" and "Worth More Than Diamonds' (Which are due for an edit….) Let me know what you all think about this chappy, ( I know, this one is bland, but its building up for the next one!) and I promise to post soon!

F.S