Spencer paced the floor of her room not knowing what else to do. She had already cleaned the dorm room twice, even dusting the tops of all the books on her bookshelves. It'd been almost two hours since Ashley had stormed out of the cafeteria and Spencer didn't know what do to. She knew she probably should have been more open about how unusual the situation was for Ashley but she honestly felt like the time was never right.
A knock on the door caused Spencer's heart to jump. She quickly rushed over to open it, hoping Ashley had finally come back. Disappointment flashed on her face as she found Tiffany, the dorm manager's assistant, standing there.
"Hi Tiff, how're you doing?" Spencer kindly smiled, taking a step back so the shorter girl could come in.
Tiffany was okay except she was one of those 'by the book' people. Everything had to be followed to the letter, there was no blurring the lines in her world. She was the perfect assistant, always on top of everything, always ready for anything. Immaculate. Her hair was always perfectly coiffed, her outfits always pressed, a wrinkle wouldn't dare show itself on anything she ever wore. If ever there was a type A personality, it was Tiffany.
"Hello, Spencer. I stopped by to tell you Ashley's room is ready and I have a temporary cellular phone for her to use until she gets her permanent one. The number's on the back, voicemail password is 9999. She can change that, of course." Tiffany was all business. Spencer tried to think if she'd ever seen her out anywhere besides campus but couldn't. She wondered what she did for fun because she never appeared as if she enjoyed her afterlife except for when it came to pointing out some old forgotten regulation. "We gave her Alyssa's old room, 223. Here is her key. You can move her things in there as soon as you like."
Spencer smiled at the news; 223 was only three doors down from her room.
"Thanks." Spencer took the phone and key from Tiffany's outstretched hand.
"You're welcome. Also, please make sure she leaves it in the same condition she found it in. This is all highly unusual, I don't know why they aren't having her stay at the hotel until she chooses but the Council said she could stay here if she likes, so I'm only doing what I've been told." Tiffany all but stuck her nose up in the air and Spencer tried not to laugh at how obviously appalled the uptight girl was at all this rule bending.
"I don't know either. I guess they want her to be comfortable." She shrugged, still fighting back her laughter.
"Still, it seems like a lot of work to go through, especially if she doesn't go Light. Though I suppose, I'll let you worry about that." Tiffany almost smirked at Spencer.
It felt as if Tiffany doubted Spencer's ability to show Ashley that she belonged on the Light side. Whether it was because she didn't have much faith in either her or Ashley, Spencer wasn't sure, but it irked her regardless.
"Well, thanks again for dropping these off, Tiff. Have a nice day." A fake smile plastered on Spencer's face as she opened the door, making it clear that she didn't want to talk to the assistant any longer.
"You too, Spencer." Tiffany walked out the door just as Ashley was about to walk in. Tiffany gave Ashley a short once over, curious about the girl who so many rules were being broken for. Then with a barely nodded hello, she stalked off down the hallway. Unimpressed with what she had seen.
Ashley in the meantime had been standing sheepishly against the door-frame, waiting to see what Spencer's reaction to her return would be before speaking.
"Hey." Spencer said cautiously, unsure of the brunette's emotional state. She just hoped that Ashley had calmed down slightly and maybe even allow Spencer the chance to apologize.
"Hey" Ashley replied, taking a few tentative steps into the room. "Friend of yours?" she asked, nodding her head towards the now closed door. Her tone was guarded and Spencer couldn't tell if she was still mad or what.
"Not exactly. That was Tiffany, the assistant for the Dorm Manager. She came by to drop off the key for your room and a phone for you to use until you get a permanent one." Grabbing the aforementioned items off the coffee table, Spencer held them out to Ashley, almost as if they were a peace offering.
"Thanks." Ashley gently took them from Spencer's hand, their fingers lightly brushing. Barely glancing at the phone or the key, she quickly shoved them in her pocket. She then looked back at Spencer and suddenly the words were tumbling from her mouth.
"Listen. I know I overacted but this is hard, Spencer. I feel like I have no control over anything here. I'm bounced from one situation to the next with no say in anything. It's so frustrating and infuriating to feel as if you have no control over your own life."
Spencer wisely chose to stay quiet while Ashley vented her frustrations. Wishing she could reassure the agitated girl but knowing it wasn't the right time.
Ashley's fists were clenched at her sides and a flurry of emotions raged across her face. "I'm sorry I took it out on you, that wasn't fair. All you've done was try and help me and haven't asked for anything in return. Things would be so much worse if I didn't have you around."
Guilt ate at Spencer as she listened to Ashley's words. If there was ever a time to tell her about the promotion it was now. "Ashley, there's…."
"No, let me get this out, ok?" Ashley cut her off. "I'm beyond pissed at this situation. At the fact that I don't get to live the life I had planned. That I don't get go on tour or see my sister or do any of the other millions of things I told myself I'd do someday. Because that's what I'm angry about the most, Spence. All those things I told myself I'd do someday. Never realizing that someday was never. I wasted so much time there and really when it comes down to it, I'm angriest at myself for that. For all the missed chances and opportunities I never took."
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has regrets after they leave the Mortal Plane, that's the whole point of it. It's a living learning experience." Spencer reached out, bringing her hands to rest on the toned upper arms of the upset brunette. "You had no idea that your time was going to be so short and I'm sorry about that, I really am."
The sincerity and honestly in those blue eyes melted the twisted knot of anger in the pit of Ashley's stomach. She let out a ragged breath and allowed herself to fall into the strong arms holding her. Spencer gratefully wrapped her arms around Ashley, holding her close, trying to reassure her that everything would be okay.
After a couple minutes, Ashley pulled back, uncomfortable with her newly uncovered sappy side. She wondered if it was due to Spencer or whether it was from being on the In Between. Either way, she told herself, she needed to get a grip. It wasn't like her to fall apart, ever.
"Hey, we should be going. We have a funeral to crash." She smirked at Spencer, pushing down the wave of panic she felt at the notion of actually going to her own funeral.
"Oh. My. God." Ashley exclaimed looking around the church. It was standing room only at her funeral. People she didn't even know were bawling like they had lost their best friend.
That wasn't what shocked her though. She knew she was well known and liked, even envied by many.
No, her disdainful exclamation had been provoked by the incredible tackiness of the funeral decorations.
The church was completely adorned in pink and white flowers. They were everywhere. It seemed like every possible variety.
And Ashley really hated pink.
Even worse, above the casket was a huge blown up picture of herself. Tackiness to the power of nine billion. Ashley recognising it as one the publicity shots she had done a few weeks ago for her new album.
"Well, at least they used a good picture. Though I can't say as I've ever taken a bad one." She remarked to Spencer with a small grin on her face.
Spencer looked up at the large photo, agreeing it certainly embodied Ashley. It showed her from the shoulders up, a cocky smirk on her face with one eyebrow raised, a come here look on her face.
Ashley was putting on a brave face, seemingly unaffected by being there but Spencer knew better. The girl hadn't released the death grip she had on Spencer's hand ever since they had shifted from the In Between to the Mortal Plane. And she could now feel it trembling in hers.
"Yeah, I would say it really captures your, uh, essence." Spencer smirked, rolling her eyes. Playing along.
The sheer range of people that had come to Ashley's funeral was fascinating to Spencer. There was, of course, a ton of younger people around their age. From Punks to Goths to Preppies to just about any other subsection of late teens, early twenty-somethings along with their older yuppie and affluent parents. Then there were the obvious music industry people, milling together in their expensive suits, trying to subtly talk on their Bluetooth headsets without appearing too insensitive or disrespectful.
As they walked through the crowd, Ashley pointed to different people.
"Couldn't stand." She said indicating a crying college age guy.
"Ugh, total leech" was directed at a guy who looked like he hadn't seen a shower in weeks.
"Oh, I liked her, she was always so nice to me." A middle aged woman in a smart pants suit.
"Complete ass" to one of the record executive guys not too stealthy talking on his cellphone.
"Please. I slept with you once, no need to be acting all tragic now when you should have been horrified by what you considered good sex. Now that was tragic." She pointed out a tall, decent looking girl who was bawling her eyes out.
"Do I even know her?" Ashley shrugged, not being able to place another sobbing girl.
"Aw, my barista from Starbucks came; she made the best Latte's." The barista in question was standing quietly with a few other people.
"What is she doing here?" Ashley suddenly shrieked, staring at a tall black haired girl with long lashes framing her dark brown eyes, leaning on a good looking, broad shoulder brown haired guy. She was crying like someone had just told her that a low fat mocha still had more calories than a Big Mac. "Ugh! I can't believe she came and of course she brought her jockstrap boyfriend!"
"Who's that?" Spencer, of course, asked. Ashley didn't seem the type who would mind yet another person crying over her being gone.
"That is the queen bitch, Karyn Manokalis; she made my every day a living hell in high school. And that brainless piece of meat she's hanging all over was my first boyfriend, Ryan Swanson. I can not believe she has the nerve to act as if my dying is some kind of tragic event to her." Ashley glared at the couple, while rolling her eyes. Quite an impressive feat to say the least.
"Maybe she realizes how awful she treated you and feels bad because she never had a chance to apologize?" Always willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, that was Spencer.
"Wow, you really did drink the Light Kool Aid didn't you? People like her don't feel bad for things they did in high school. People like her only feel bad that they don't have people like me to torture anymore once they graduate." Rolling her eyes yet again, Ashley pulled Spencer by their still clasped hands towards the front of the church.
Spencer wondered if she was really going to look in her coffin like she had joked about on the way to the church.
Shivering, she really hoped not. That was not a sight the Light Fate wanted to see, let alone let Ashley. Passing a sea of grieving people, Ashley finally came to a stop about 20 feet away from an older woman, all dressed in black. Her face was a mask of grief that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Spencer noticed a resemblance to the brunette still clutching her hand and surmised it must be her mother.
"Doesn't she just look like the grieving Mother?" Ashley huffed; not believing for a minute Christine was as broken up as she apparently seemed over her daughter's death.
Ashley knew deep down her mother had cared for her but she also knew that a part of her mother felt relief over the fact that she wouldn't have to deal with her willful and defiant daughter anymore.
To a more sensitive person who actually cared what the woman thought, that might have come as a harsh, soul crushing understanding. But to Ashley, it was a realization she had come to terms with years ago. When her mother had stopped acting like her mother and more like Ashley was just a burden that she had been shackled with who just happened to be her meal ticket.
It was the way it was. Ashley had shed those tears long ago, she wasn't about to shed anymore over it.
Spencer was inclined to agree with Ashley's sarcastic assessment. She had read Ashley's file and probably knew the girl's life better than the actual subject of the file. She knew how cold and indifferent Christine had always been towards Ashley. She was one of the few people Spencer wouldn't even waste her time by giving the benefit of the doubt to.
Ashley's eyes continued scanning the crowd, looking for the only person she cared to see there. Finally her eyes found their target, standing by her self in the corner, tears streaming down her face with the rawest of grief in her light brown eyes.
"Kyla." Ashley barely breathed out before almost yanking Spencer's arm out of the socket, pulling her towards her younger sister.
Once they got to the corner where Kyla was standing, Spencer saw the first real emotion Ashley had allowed her self to show since they had gotten there. She let go of Spencer's hand and took a few steps closer to her sister. Slowly she reached out a shaking hand, hovering over the grieving girl's shoulder, until finally letting it settle on the black silk of her dress. Shock showed in Ashley's eyes and she quickly turned her gaze to Spencer.
"I can touch her… Spencer, I can touch her."
"Yeah, you can, but she can't feel it." Spencer regretfully told Ashley, knowing that it must be hurting the brown eyed girl not to be able to comfort her upset sister.
Ashley gave a small nod, acknowledging Spencer's words before turning back to her sister. "Oh, Ky, don't cry, it does horrible things to your face. You never were a very good crier." Ashley wrapped her arms around the crying form of her sister. She tried to brush an errant strand of hair that had fallen out of the clip she was wearing, holding back the thick brown locks.
But it wouldn't move.
No matter how many times Ashley tried to fix it. It felt as solid as a redwood trunk and as unmoving.
Spencer turned away to look at the crowd, feeling like she was intruding on an intimate moment. Had she not turned away, she might have noticed the shock of recognition that flashed in Kyla's eyes. The crying girl quickly shook her head, as if dismissing a completely insane idea. Spencer might have missed that but Ashley certainly didn't.
Ashley held her sister even tighter, whispering in her ear, "It's okay, Ky, I'm okay. I think I'm in a better place. Well I mean, it sucks because you're not there but it does have it's perks." Ashley glanced over her sister's shoulder towards Spencer's back, "I'll never get old, I think, and you know how I obsessed over getting wrinkles… And they have the best cable, like, ever. And you don't need money because it doesn't exist, you can just go shopping whenever you want. So yeah, I guess it is a better place..."
Kyla's sobs quietened down, until only a few tears trickled down her cheeks. She cocked her head to the side, as if listening for something through the hushed crowd, like a barely there tune off in the distance that sounded vaguely familiar.
"Ash…." She softly questioned, believing that her grief was causing her to feel the rarity that was a hug from her sister. That she could almost hear her voice, even if rambling on about the most unimportant things, when spoken in Ashley's voice at that moment, would be the most important things in the world.
Ashley jumped back in surprise, "Kyla?" she yelled as loud as she could, watching her sister's eyes grow large as she quickly looked around.
Spencer spun around, wondering why Ashley was yelling all of sudden. "Ashley, what are you doing? She can't…"
"Spencer, oh my God! I think she can hear me! Watch… KYLA!" Spencer's jaw dropped open as the girl, who shouldn't be able to hear Ashley at all, even a little bit, quickly looked around again as if looking to see who was calling to her. A mixture of hope, shock and confusion flooding her face.
"Holy…crap…" Spencer couldn't believe it, it honestly looked like Kyla could hear Ashley. Not clearly as she kept tilting her head as if trying to hear better but it definitely seemed like she could hear something.
Then Kyla shook her head because really she couldn't be hearing her dead sister calling out her name. It had to be a grief induced hallucination. She hadn't slept more than a couple hours since her sister had died. It had to be that, she reasoned with herself.
Ashley once again started whispering in Kyla's ear while Spencer stood there in stunned silence.
This was totally against every rule Spencer knew. Ashley shouldn't be able to do this, not even Gray Fates could do this unless it was an assignment they were working with. Even the Dark and Light Fate's actual voices weren't heard; they appeared to mortals like their own thoughts.
What Ashley was doing was way beyond that. She was directly communicating with a living being and only those on the Higher Plane could do that.
Meanwhile, Kyla was getting completely freaked out, thinking she was losing her mind, because she could swear that at that moment Ashley was whispering in her ear, telling her that the Britney and Kevin reality show was the biggest waste of time ever. And wasn't that just creepy. Of all the things she could be hallucinating about her sister telling her that would be the absolutely last thing. Especially because she knew Ashley had never seen it and had teased her mercilessly when she had caught her Tivo-ing it.
"If you can hear me, Ky, show me you love me." Ashley said loud enough for Spencer to hear but still in Kyla's ear.
Spencer watched, still dumbfounded by what was happening.
Haltingly, unsure if she should be doing what a strange voice in her head was telling her to do, Kyla brought her left hand up, making a half fist and tapped her palm over her heart twice.
Mirroring something she and Ashley had been doing for years as a way of saying 'I love you' because Ashley wasn't very big on saying the words out loud.
Tears streamed down Ashley's face as she leaned into to her sister more, dropping her voice back to a whisper, "I love you, too, Kyla."
And the dam burst again. A fresh flood of tears pouring from Kyla's eyes. She didn't care if people thought she was delusional and it ended up with her being locked in the loony bin.
She knew in her heart that she had just heard her big sister tell her she loved her and that was the only thing that mattered.