Yuri looked at Johnny.
Johnny looked at Yuri.
"Man, those guys are bored." Alice said.
"It's time for My Immortal." Shania added, sipping her cup of tea. "The best way to prepare for that…space train wreck…is to bore yourself almost to sleep so you can fall asleep in case of the story starting to drag it's legs again."
"Oh." Alice looked into her cup, noticing it to be dry. "Can I have some more?"
"Sure." Shania tipped the teapot…
*WHEEP* *WHEEP* *WHEEP* *WHEEP* *WHEEP* *WHEEP*
"Story…" Yuri tried to say his line, but Johnny hit him over the head with both hands, with Shania carrying him in.
AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr.
Yuri: She never gets tired.
noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1
Alice: It's not Opposite Day!
All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.
Johnny: Well, magic has caused a lot of strife…
Well anyway, I woke up the next day.
Shania: But enough of the Misery of Magic!
I was in my coffin so I opened the door.
Yuri: And fell down the stairs, as a coffin can't walk well.
I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.
Alice (Purple): I wasn't wearing anything at all!
Standing in front of me where... B'loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!
Johnny: THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
I opened my crimson eyes.
Shania: AKA she blinked.
Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it.
Yuri: Great, a entire chapter about what the characters are wearing! See?
Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top.
Alice: She's a gothic ballerina?
Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans.
Johnny: HEY! They're reusing outfits!
Alice: I feel cheated!
Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket.
Shania: He just threw a can of black paint on himself.
He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy.
Yuri: And just as repulsive!
Vampire looked like Joel Madden.
Alice: Actually, every male in this story looks like the child of Joel and Gerard.
B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once.
Johnny: In short, a preppy goth!
Yuri: Double standards!
Darkness (who is Jenny)
Shania: Jenny who?
Yuri: The actress who plays Ginny in the movies?
Alice: I highly doubt that Tara knew that.
was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots.
Yuri: Looking like the other girls in the room. I'm surprised Purple was able to recognize her.
So were Crab and Goyle.
Alice: And Bill and Ted.
Johnny: As well as Laurel and Hardy.
Shania: Don't forget Tom Servo and Crow.
Yuri: Shania…
Shania: Oh…hehehe…
It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire.
Johnny: Let me guess…blah blah, suicide?
He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor.
Shania: Right on the dollar, Johnny.
He had raped them and stuff before too.
Yuri: OH SWEET GOD!
Alice: AND IT'S TREATED LIKE A GOLDFISH DYING!
Johnny: I REALLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING!
Shania: BITE ME TARA!
They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.
Alice: I want to hurt this story. Really. I want to make this story cry. Kick it while it's down…
Yuri: Alice, need a hug?
Alice: YES!
"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"
Johnny: Didn't you hear me? THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.
Shania: Besides the story?
Yuri: The characters?
Alice: Back stories?
"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.
Yuri: I think that Purple would enjoy going around naked.
"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.
Alice: Sexy? More like a fish drowning!
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."
Johnny (Purple): Why are you guys like…
Alice: Not another word.
"I will I will." he said.
Shania (Jesus): When I feel like it.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation.
Yuri: In the future, your makeup kit will recognize what you use and how you use it, and it'll do it in less than a minute!
Then I came.
Alice: But we can't go!
We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow.
Johnny: The Great Hal isn't pleased.
A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us.
Shania: She was minding her own business…
She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.
Yuri (Purple): Because she didn't share tastes. We later killed her.
Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.
Alice: She stole it.
Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore.
Johnny (Fudge): Dammnit! Stop changing my name!
Doris Rumbridge was there too.
Shania: If this wasn't repulsive enough, well...here you go!
"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"
Yuri: Wait, if the school closes…the story will close!
Johnny: Not a chance.
"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.
Alice: Oh boy…too many riffs…
Johnny: He's going to use the students as chew toys!
Shania: His bite IS worse!
Yuri: What, how is he going to kill people with wood?
"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge.
Johnny (Rumbridge): You're not fit to be a character in this story! We need more depressed emos!
"YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS!
Shania: I didn't know that Alzheimers could cause someone to explode!
YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"
Yuri: Please insert two tokens!
Johnny: No…too late!
Yuri: GAME OVER!
"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily.
Alice: His caps lock key is broken.
"Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school.
Johnny: At least until the seventh book comes out.
There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school.
Shania: Great, it turned into a gender-flip story!
Alice: No, that's not it.
And her name is...Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."
Yuri: Sorry, Alice. It's not Ebony. The chosen one is Enony, her much more likeable sister.
Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other...I gasped.
Alice (Purple): I think there's some dip left in the fridge.
AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1
Johnny: Now if she could read what those reviews said.
fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!
Shania: Wait. Raven told Tara about Harry Potter?
Alice: I hate her!
The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily.
Yuri: They might break out in a dance.
Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.
Alice: They killed them!
Yuri: YES!
"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.
Johnny (Dumbledore): Who the hell bleeps their own sentences? Oh, right.
"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"
Shania: Freud just did a spit take at that line.
Alice: Wait, how could you corrupt Rumbridge?
Well we all came in angrily.
Yuri: Stomping.
Alice: Steam coming out of their ears.
Johnny: Symbols replaced their curse words.
Shania: Their skin turned red.
So did all the other students.
Alice: Like the others.
I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary.
Johnny: Hey! They're using stock footage!
Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes.
Shania (Crab): Why did the chicken cross the road?
Johnny (Goyle): To get to the other side!
They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.
Yuri: Or Chris Farley.
I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup.
Alice: This is a comedy right?
Shania: Well, the blood is from Charlie Chaplin. That counts right?
Then I herd someone shooting angrily.
Johnny: The gun just got laid off, okay?
I looked behind me it was...Vampire!
Shania: And…a mob!
He and Draco were shooting at eachother.
Yuri: I guess Voldermort gave up his job of hunting Harry to become a gun dealer.
"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.
Alice (Purple): You're horrible shots! Here, let me show you…
"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"
Johnny: WOAH! They're in to that?
Yuri: Not a surprise.
"No I do!" shouted.
"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.
"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire.
Shania: Then the most ugly, disgusting sex scene happened between Jesus and Mud.
And then... he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv)
Yuri: Too bad!
They started to fight and beat up each other.
Alice: Cute terms.
Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop.
Johnny: He wanted to join in!
Alice: Okay!
All of a sudden... a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick.
Shania: Quick! This man needs eye drops!
He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe.
Yuri: By the way, he had no nose.
All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart.
Alice: Without his nose.
Britney that fucking prep started to cry.
Johnny: From a lack of a nose.
Vampire and Draco stopped fighting...I shopped eating...Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent...Volzemort!
Shania: …without a nose!
"Eboby...Ebony..." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice.
Yuri: But Volzemort was really….Darth Valer!
Johnny: Oh, Hayden Christensen!
"Thou havfe failed ur mission.
Alice (Hayden): And you didn't save!
Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well.
Johnny (Hayden): Sorry it took so long.
If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"
Shania: Hayden needs to stop slacking off.
"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.
Yuri (Purple): At until I'm done with him!
"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.
Alice: Yet another campaign promise goes unfilled.
I bust into tears.
Johnny (Purple): They aren't renewing Buffy!
Draco and Vampire came to contort me.
Shania: Into a pretzel shape.
Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic.
Yuri: She pulled out her own eyes?
Shania: Red is gothic.
I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.
Alice: Wait! It's not a vision! It's a flashback!
"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
Johnny: What's the number for a insane asylum?
"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.
Shania (Jesus): I got the crowbar!
"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.
Yuri: She's fine, everyone. Just go back to doing whatever the hell you guys do around here.
"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.
Alice: And making a baby face.
"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"
Johnny: Sadako is going to pay a visit to these morons.
Yuri: Actually, she's doesn't care.
"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."
Shania (Mary): And pay a visit to Doctor Evil to ask about my rash.
"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.
Yuri: Emotions in this are the equal to…oh, say…hitting yourself on the head, and then waiting for the hurting to stop to do it again.
AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!
Alice: This is a test to see if a story can be nothing but stock footage.
Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.
Johnny: I guess Professor Sinister was out.
"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese.
Shania: She learned all she needed to know in two seconds.
Alice: Ah, she is bi-name.
She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick.
Yuri (Trevolry): You smell like old apples.
She's da coolest fucking teacher ever.
Alice: That means she is the worse teacher ever.
She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes.
Johnny: A zombie then.
(hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing.
Shania: And she speaks in Engrish.
she n b'loody mry get along grate)
Yuri: Zombie makes bed fellows.
Alice:…I'll allow it.
She's really young for a teacher.
Alice: She wasn't even born yet.
2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress.
Johnny (Purple): She was wearing the same thing as I. I didn't mind, because she was favorite teacher.
We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.
Shania: All wearing Bronze Medals.
I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.
Yuri: I could go for a Polish hot dog.
"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?"
Alice: Ebony the Second is here!
"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks.
Johnny (Prep): You actually shop at Hot Topic?
I gave them the middle finger.
Shania: Which was then snapped in half.
"Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"
Yuri: Is she pregnant?
"Ho about now?" she asked.
"OK." I said.
"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go.
Alice: Gee, that's actually nice.
Johnny: But it's wizard school. The homework is sent out to the students, regardless if they learned anything.
Shania: Damn.
"Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. "Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."
Johnny: Good thing that there is only a problem per page.
Yuri: But I would like to learn how to exorcize this story.
"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die.
Shania: That 2? It's symbolic.
Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.
Yuri: 'Please try again later'…
"What do you c?" she asked.
Alice (Purple): A new dress! OMG.
"I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."
Johnny: On a dress.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
Shania: WATCHTOWERS!
I looked at it. It was Draco.
Yuri: He's a door now. Buy it?
He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.
Alice: All leather and black.
"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister.
"Bye bitch." I said waving.
Johnny: I think…that Raven is a imaginary friend.
Alice: Makes sense, given how Tara talks to her friends.
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.
Shania: Nobody…came…to her show.
Alice: SHANIA!
AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111
Yuri: Justin is the gofer boy.
n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1
Alice: So…she threatens to infect other computers over a comment?
Yuri: She is like a pop-up ad.
raven fangz for de help!1
Johnny (Tara): Thanks for the virus-sending program!
I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again.
Shania: In the same room, same bed, same positions even!
We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.
Yuri: I mean, it was just a blob of black!
"Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.
Alice: The story implies that they're 17, but they act like they're 12.
"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice.
Johnny: She has to pick up her dry cleaning.
He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork.
Shania: SPORK SPORK SPORK. Hehehe.
He started to fly the car into a tree.
Yuri: Hey! The story now makes sense.
We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.
Alice: And by on top, we mean crushed and mangled.
"And all the things that you never ever told me
Johnny: All the times you said you loved me.
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me."
Shania: All the cookies I never ate.
sang Gerard's sexy voice.
Yuri: You would think it's sexy after a SPORK full of heroin.
We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently.
Alice: These two are secretly avant-garde designers.
He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar.
Johnny: OH NO! THEY REMOVED THE CENSOR BAR!
Yuri: NNOOO!
Shania: It's a story! We can't see anything!
Yuri: It's my mind!
I took of his black boxers.
Shania: Thief!
Then... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.
Yuri: Ahaha! He put his SPORK…
Alice: NO!
"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism.
Alice: NO TO YOU TOO STORY!
We stated frenching passively. Suddenly... I fell asleep.
Johnny: It happens to everyone once.
I started having a dream.
Shania: NO! WE'RE NOT GOING THERE.
In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.
Yuri: She dreams of racism.
"No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.
Alice: Have you ever moshed with a red demon under the black moon?
"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice.
Johnny (Purple): Those Goths are actually preps!
"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.
Shania (Jesus): You need a changing?
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face.
Yuri: I didn't like Castlevania Judgement that much.
I told Draco to call Vampire.
Alice (Purple): He texted him instead. That prep.
He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile.
Johnny: Those are rare. They cost $ 100 bucks on eBay.
Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where... Lucian and Serious!111
Shania (Purple): I care about them suddenly!