"Hello, everyone to the Hunk of Junk" Said a guy who hasn't been seen on the Hunk, though he certainly had been heard before."I'm the author, Hardman5509 AKA Syl, and due to…" Syl scratched the back of his head. "…well, I like to say accident, but our stupid crew has been injured due to a explosion by a ghostly C4."
"Hehehe…" Johnny giggled. He and the other were cartoonishly wrapped in white bandages, and slings supported their entire bodies up. Without the nameplates on the front of the bed, you couldn't tell the difference between the bodies. Well, except for Johnny, his cowlick got bandaged as well.
"So, for a short while, I will be commentating." Syl smiled. "Being a big MSTie, I think I can handle a couple of chapters of this trainwreck."
"You could fix us up instantly with your powers…" Yuri added in a muffled voice.
"I can't understand you, Lesbian." Syl spoke, telling a VERY bad joke. "Off I go! Have fun glued to the bed!" Syl ran into the theater; sign not blaring.
"I would loathe him…" Shania said. "…but I would like to remain as myself, if you know what I mean."
"Yeah." Everyone else replied.
AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111
Syl: We need more wood.
if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111
Syl: But I like it as a farce, so what do I do?
"Hi." I said flirtily.
Syl: And looking quite green.
"Im Enoby Way da new student."
Syl (Tom): Yay! We get to beat you up!
I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.
Syl: Don't you mean Sharpie marker?
"Da name's Tom." he said.
Syl (Tom): I'm a rapper!
"But u kan call me Satan.
Syl: Actually, Satan is a misspelling, much like the entire story. It's supposed to say Stan.
Datz ma middle nam"
Syl: Oops. He can't be the right Tom, the anagram doesn't work.
We shok hands.
Syl: Tom dipped his hands in glue recently.
"Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him.
Syl: Up the stairs. We placed one foot up and then the next foot. We turned left at the corner.
"Hey Satan...do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.
Syl: You forgot Green Day.
"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped. "actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)
Syl: Despite that Voldermort went to school in the 50's.
"omg me too!" I replied happily.
"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.
Syl: Let's do the time wrap again!...again!
"hogsment?" I asked.
"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly.
Syl (Stan): I know this!
"and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"
▒topic!" I finshed, happy again.
He froned confusedly.
Syl: He got the right reaction.
"noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.
Syl: Stan has a future in narration.
"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted.
Syl (Stan): No, we had a guy named Neil. Dumbledore became principal in 1995.
"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"
Syl: When someone looks at their nails, it's time to make a hasty retreat.
"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.
Syl: I LIKED IT SO MUCH I SLAMMED THE CAP LOCKS BUTTON!
"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.
Syl: I hate this story! Geddit, 'cause I'm author writing a MST on it!
"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.
Syl: Gah! The Cap Locks button is jammed! Everyone run!
Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily.
Syl: Using a chainsaw while riding a broomstick? AWESOME!
"NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters.
Syl: And you talk about Hot Topic. Think about it.
"STUPID GOFFS!"
Syl: I agree!
satan rolled his eyes.
Syl: Literally!
"his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."
Syl (Stan): Just because he we kill people and break the rules! Stupid preps!
I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."
Syl (Purple):You're literally going to bark up a storm!
"wtf?" he asked angrily.
Syl: That's an understatement.
"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.
Syl (Purple) Just a random statement. Like this one. Michael Bay is married to a bomb.
then suddenlyn... the floor opened.
Syl: You triggered my trap card!
"OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN.
Syl: I'm about a sixth into this, and I already feel down.
everyone looked At ME weirdly."
Syl: So far, this story gets the right reactions.
"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.
Syl (Stan): You're not falling down are you?
I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom.
Syl: Wow! She literally fell into a plot hole! Hahaha…
dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.
Syl (Dumbledore): And I already hate you.
"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.
Syl: And getting it right.
sinister came in.
Syl (Sinister): Who's ass is first in line?
"hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"
Syl (Purple): Orgy. Whatcha going to do?
:"um." I looked at her.
Syl: Just kill her. You know you want to.
"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."
"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.
Syl: So if I kill Purple, and claim I'm a 'goff', I could get off scot-free?
professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum."
Syl: It tastes like noses.
she started to cry black tears of depression.
Syl: But not bloody tears. Sorry.
dumblydum didn't know about them.
Syl: He knew better.
"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.
"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.
Syl: Ouch. Apparently, sympathy is a sign of weakness.
professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "omfg enoby...I think im addicted to Voldemortserum."
Syl: To be continued next week. Tune into… 'My Immortal', the A&E story.
AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112
Syl: Yeah! The drug introduced in the author's mind!
AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok
Syl: So you didn't write this?
if u don't lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111
Syl: She never learns, does she?
ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111
Syl: And trolls responded.
U SUK!1111
Syl: Why, thank you!
fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1
Syl: After thirty chapters, she finally decides to help her friend.
"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly.
Syl (Purple): I found my pistol!
"Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"
Syl: Don't take her to manga café! Take her to a hospital!
"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help.
Syl: Incoming Fetch Quest!
Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"
Syl: Surely old medical practice will help here!
"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door.
Syl (Purple): I turned the knob, clockwise. It didn't open. What a knob. Geddit?
Draco was there!111
Syl: He just arrived on set.
He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.
Syl: Well yeah, it is Pajama Day.
"Hey Sexxy." I said.
Syl: Jesus, learn your lines next time!
"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.
Syl: You know. Drunk.
"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.
Syl: Though…
Yuri: We're better now. Beat it.
Syl: Hey…
Johnny: Now!
Syl: Okay, okay!
"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.
Yuri: All the way!
"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.
Alice: I borked a bork once. Thank you!
Yuri…Oh.
"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.
Johnny: That's a stupid question, and you know it.
"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily.
Shania (Purple): His hobby is collecting socks!
Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.
Yuri: You should get a doctor to see about those bullet wounds.
"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.
Alice: …should we tell her the truth about the hunt?
Yuri: No.
"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door...Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11
Johnny: And that's it.
Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.
Shania: Well, you first have to poke before you can stab them.
Alice: Watch as the Great Snap take a knife to the gut and not bleed!
"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically.
Yuri: Even the story agrees that Purple is a sadistic monster?\!
I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued.
Alice: They also need an oil change!
(ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz).
Johnny: This is a story written by a American about a British school, and she doesn't even know the 8th amendment?
Alice: She probably complained about the numerous preps in the history books.
We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz.
Shania: Thank you for dining at McSerious!
We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111).
Yuri: I've heard of it. It's a movie about a killer of vampires.
I put on some blak platform high heelz.
Alice: Good for impairing movement.
Darko put on desolition liverz' by MCR.
Johnny: And then were arrested for stealing music.
Den...we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez.
Shania: Making the dress-up scene entirely pointless.
I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz.
Yuri: …of beer, hiding his pale, bugly chest.
We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge.
Alice: Then a monster comes out, and kills them!
Johnny: Yay!
Yuri: The end!
He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.
Johnny: They sure are quick, aren't they?
Alice: 'Cause preps are losers and take their time.
"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.
Shania: This new Sex Ed class is really catching on!
"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.
Yuri: Oops. The author nearly slipped up there.
Shania: How do you misspeak with text?
AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111
Alice: But we're not preps, so now what?
hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111
Johnny: Yes, we read the story. Have you?
fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1
Shania: We wouldn't tell you what kind of help!
I wook up in da coffin de next day.
Yuri: Instead of the barrel.
Draco waz gone.
Alice: But his clothes were still here.
I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end.
Johnny: In short, she was going out on a 'stroll'.
Alice: That sounds about right.
There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth.
Shania: Mr. Smith anyway.
I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly... Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it.
Yuri: Huh. A guy waves his…thing against the door, and Purple started to hope for it?
Johnny: Yep!
"Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistors office."
Alice: Busted.
"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice.
Johnny: 'Cause she's goth…have we done that?
Alice: Yeah…but this story repeats things, so don't worry.
I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.
Shania: So the author is actually avoiding the boring and at least is doing something?
Alice: Aren't you glad?
"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily.
Yuri (Sorious): They paid their fines and left.
"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way. "They r in Abkhazian now, lol."
I laughed evilly.
Alice: Ah, so we're supposed to hate them!
"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered.
"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily.
Johnny: Because they killed all the preps and the gothic teachers gave them the day off.
"Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."
Shania: The MOST gothic film of all time!
We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there.
Yuri: Instead of the giant banana!
She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one
Alice: Yep, everyone in Hogwarts is a clone. That's established.
Amy Lee wears in this pic
Johnny: Link not here. You'll thank us.
She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.
Shania: A drug that tastes like chicken.
She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.
Yuri: Let's re-do the Stan scene again. We need to.
"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"
Alice: Man, this feels like I'm playing a bad video game.
And then...I jumped into the Prinsive again.
Johnny: Slamming her head against the rim.
Suddenly I looked around...I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula.
Shania: HAHAHAHA! It's still funny!
Johnny: I feel sorry for the poor kid who got his breakfast stolen.
It was mourning.
Yuri: Everyone was wearing black.
Alice: But for whom?
Johnny: Rowling.
I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson.
Alice: Or Gerard Way. Your choice.
I noticed...he was drinking a portent.
Johnny: It's a sign of things to come!
"Whose he!11" I asked.
Shania (Stan): Guybrush Threepwood.
"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn." Satan said.
Yuri: You need a good scrubbing in the mouth, boy!
"Hes da Portents teacher...Ebony?"
Alice: Isn't there already a class like that? Divination?
"Yah?" I asked.
"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."
Johnny: I love the part in the Exercise when the big guy starts to lift horses.
"Yah?"
"Well...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"
Shania: Yah?
Yuri: Yah?
Alice: Yah?
Johnny: No.
AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok!
Yuri: Raven loses her top billing.
fuk of prepz!11111111
Alice: Beware of Goth!
fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 o
Johnny: Yay! Our torment is almost over!
Yuri: We still have nine chapters. But still, yay!
h yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.
Shania: I'm sorry, can't you not mumble so much?
I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped...Draco wuz there!111
Yuri: Huh. Well, it speaks for itself.
I grasped.
Alice: Get a room you two!
He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.
Johnny: Even in the past, everyone dresses in the same style.
"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.
"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1
Shania: Oh boy. I think we know were this is going.
Johnny: Grandmother clause!
He stil had two arms.
Yuri: And two eyes
Alice: And two ears.
Johnny: And two legs.
Shania: And two noses. Wait…
"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz."
Alice: Joy buzzer!
"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz.
Johnny: Purple, you can only have one boyfriend!
They where siting in a corner kutting.
Shania: …Little wooden toys for the little kids down the block.
It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and...Snap!
Yuri: He killed Crackle and Pop!
All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts.
Alice: You can tell the difference between by the amount of eyeliner!
"Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.
Johnny: In case Mason doesn't show up.
"ORLY." I ESKED.
Shania: …wow.
Yuri: Fail.
Alice: Epic fail.
"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX.
Yuri: Original the band!
I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him.
Alice: No, he's Spartacus. There, in the corner.
Yuri: Actually, Spartacus is in his room.
Shania: Spartacus is behind you.
"Snap plays the boss.
Johnny: Oh, that's why Snape hates Harry. His father made him the manager; he denied his talent!
And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."
Shania: Despite at this time, the movie wasn't out…in JAPAN!
Johnny: Thank you!
"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin.
Yuri: You mean punched her right?
Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.
Alice (Lucian): You're right. Our band can't outplay a toddler with pots and pans.
"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."
Johnny: Wow! You guys must really suck!
"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.
Shania: I surprised she didn't say 'kawaii', or some other crap.
"Its okay but we need a new led snigger." Samaro said.
Yuri: HEY!
Alice: THAT'S RACIST!
Johnny: BOO!
Shania: DIE, YOU HORRID PERSON!
"Wel...I said Im in a bnad myself."
Alice: About twenty chapters ago.
"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111
Johnny: Then he realized his mistake.
"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"
Shania: After this commercial break.
Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz.
Yuri: Out of their asses!
Alice: YURI!
Yuri: Okay. Out of their arses!
They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.
Alice: Actually, they're just gay.
"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz."
Johnny: I asked for dir-ections, and got pointed in the right direction!
I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.
YOU SUCK!
"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.
Shania (Lucian): We're desperate!
"Um...ok." I shrugged.
Yuri: Even she's surprised.
"Are we gong to play tonight?"
"Yah." they said.
Alice: Yah, I know. You mentioned it twice!
"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit.
Johnny: Here's a hazard suit.
I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time.
Shania: Gee. What a dilemma for the time traveler with a time travel device.
Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me.
Yuri: You violated the law!
It wuz...Morty Mcfli!1
Alice: Excuse me?
Yuri: The hero of Back To The Future has come here to help.
Alice: Please explain.
Yuri: I just did!
Alice: No. More.
He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.
Johnny: They got him! You bastards!
"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.
Shania: Great question.
"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den...he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and...sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111
Yuri: And now for something completely different.
AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111
Alice: Ctrl+C, Crtl+V.
I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111
Johnny: Well, together…we're about ninety years old.
ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1
Shania: Potter says: Kids, when someone you like touches you…
NO!
Shania: Sorry!
o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111
Yuri: Have fun enjoying the real England!
I loked around in a depresed way.
Alice (Purple): All I see is preps.
Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister.
Johnny: Explode!
B"lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.
Shania: All exploding.
"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111"
Yuri: Today, Purple Sue was committed to 's for insanity.
"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.
Alice: Glory days…
"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.
Johnny: Well, hey. She has a reason to insult her. She forgot the cure.
Hi fuker." I said. "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I"m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."
Shania: But considering this was time travel, you made Voldermort even more angsty.
"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B"lody Mary.
Yuri: I don't care. Geddit, I'm brain-dead.
"Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"
Alice (Mary): You want to spend a long scene doing nothing and making ourselves even more annoying?
"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry.
Johnny: Suicide Club. Now a comedy!
"I can"t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.
Shania (Willow): Like our leaves of the World Tree.
"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also...sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly.
Yuri: Then what's point of going back and finding a cure!
Johnny: Love potion for what? She can bewitch any male!
"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let"s go.
Alice (Willow): Our schedule changed.
We went sexily to Potionz class.
Johnny: You mean waddled.
But Snap wasn"t there. Instead there was...Cornelio Fuck!11111
Shania: A character from a bad internet parody flash?
"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.
Yuri (Cornelio): Don't take my last name in vain!
"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111"
Alice: Don't worry. It's only one page.
Yuri: It's ChoZo from Team Fortress 2!
My friendz and I talked arngrily.
Johnny: Groan, groan, groan!
"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.
Shania: No, I didn't know.
"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111"
Yuri: UBER ME DOCTOR! I GOT NATASHCA!
He stomped out angrily.
Alice: And then he fell through the floor!
Mi frendz and I began talking again.
Johnny: Like nothing happened at all.
I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer.
Shania: Oh no! She used Oliver Reed blood!
Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.
Yuri (Hagrid): You know my secret hiding place!
"WTF is he doing?" I asked.
Alice: Again, a correct response.
Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva.
Johnny: As sexy as a can of paint.
Suddenly..."HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.
Shania (Hagrid): Doing my job.
I looked around...Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11
Yuri: Right in front of her! In her line of sight! Next to her!
Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.
Alice:…not going there.
"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid.
Johnny: Coming from you!
Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was...Amnesia Portion!111
Shania: That's sounds good right about now.
Alice: We should be nice, and share the potion with the entire world.
AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX.
Yuri: Okay! A author's note that doesn't involve direct insults to smart people.
fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11
Alice: It degraded to a side note.
raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11
Johnny: Raven cheers!
DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL
Shania: A different character for once. I'm starting to like this chapter. A mince.
Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.
Yuri (Jesus): I'm sorry, but you have to take your medicine!
"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot.
Alice: Now we get to hear the other characters stating the same things!
"Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"
Johnny: Make him forget how to use the toilet and his former life to make him fall in love with you? Brilliant!
"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata," said Vampire. "Why would u need it?"
Shania: Even a Mary Sue has her limits.
"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.
"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.
Yuri: That's a stupid question. OF course she's going to sleep with him!
"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.
Alice: A correct statement.
"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.
Johnny: A wrong statement.
"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."
Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room.
Shania: Wrong room, guys. Trevolry's is next door.
But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was.
Yuri: Should we care?
Alice: At this point, the author doesn't care.
Johnny: We're lost in a sea of misery.
Shania: And stuck on a ship of fools.
Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.
Alice (Tom): I made them from Sinister's skin.
I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said 666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.
"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way.
Johnny (Purple): It matches my seventy-two other outfits!
I took da clothes in da bag.
"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.
Shania: 'Out to lunch.'
"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now.
Yuri: So the villains of Harry Potter got replaced with preps?
Johnny: Of course? What story have you been reading?
Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.
Alice: Is it a bad sign when Rumbridge is in character?
"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"
Johnny: With guns.
Suddenly Dumblydore came.
"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily.
Shania (Dumbledore): It's private property!
Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111
Yuri: Deus Ex Non.
I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire.
Alice: …To die.
Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was...Profesor Slutborn's efface!
Johnny: It smells like crack and whiskey.
I sneaked around.
Shania (Purple): Nin nin nin…
Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it.
Yuri: The past is very generous.
Johnny: She should save her game. A boss fight is coming up.
It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket.
Alice: It burned her, right?
Suddenly da door opened it wuz...Profesor Slutgorn!11
Johnny: See? She should have saved. Now she has to go through a long cutscene if she dies!
OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.
Shania: The tension mounts! As in, whom will I beat up to relieve my tense body?
"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.
Yuri: I said that? I meant, 'KILL HER!'
"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.
Alice: Her Mary-Sue powers are kicking in!
You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes.
Johnny: Did this turn into a Choose-Your-Adventure?
Yuri: I choose to stick my head into the oven.
Johnny: You find the key to a time machine in there.
Yuri: Darn.
Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.
Shania: But we will.
"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"
Yuri: In hell.
"Oh he's cumming." said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now."
Alice: Actually, I'm calling you He-man.
Suddenly Satan came.
Johnny: As mentioned before.
He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.
"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.
Shania: And we will see you guys at final part! Good bye!