I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house.
Yuri: Today's porn was less interesting than yesterday's.
I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day.
Alice: Since when can you think?
He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me!
Johnny: Trust me, Edward likes mental cases in his women.
But I was angry at how he had made me feel,
Shania: But mostly horny.
how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me
Yuri: Is she going to burst into a song?
and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off,
Alice: You said frick, and he's not a basement dweller like you!
and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways,
Johnny: Great Frank is a better term than mancarrot.
even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt.
Shania: Bella summed up by someone who never read the book.
Johnny: I hate Edward and want him!
But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't.
Yuri: Because if you could, this story would be good.
Suddenly the phone range
Alice: Meanwhile at the Old Western Ranch
"hello "
"hey, is that altantiana?"
Johnny: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
"yah who is this?" I aksed.
Shania: A Nigerian Prince.
Yuri: Batman.
Alice: 7 days.
Johnny: If your pizza hasn't arrived in 30 minutes…
"its Mike nooton from your class! I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush with me too morrow night maybe?
Yuri: We can annoy the Quileute tribe!
Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? –
Alice: You want to date the girl who karate kicked a man helping her up? You into that?
"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic chearleaders and stuff?" I asked
Johnny: The ones with personality and high grades?
"you mean bella and jessica's gang?
Shania: Bella? The girl who thinks a friendly hug is how the Black Plague came about is a cheerleader?
Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow and not as hot as you. And they can be mean sometimes.-"
Yuri: The author is trying to say that all cheerleaders are all assholes and ugly, but even the people who dealt with horrible cheerleaders aren't buying this.
"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP!
Alice: Because they have cookies?
and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! Cos u think im' hot?
Johnny: No, he's just desperate.
Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like - I'm not THAT pretty anyways!
Shania: In fact, I'm butt ugly!
And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine!
Yuri: I got problems man! Real problems! Really!
u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!"
Alice: You're right. Good bye!
"I would, tia, beleive me I would!
Johnny: I'm into murderous psychopaths!
Your so beautiful you cant even imagine.
Shania: The perfect white lie.
Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe!
Yuri: The story just admitted she's a Mary Sue!
How can't you have noticed that?
Alice: Vampires can't see themselves in the mirror.
And I don't CARE how screwed up you are!
Johnny: I'm a guy.
Yuri: Never mind, bye!
It only maked you more interesting!
Shania: I need a project for Psychology!
Your cool and different and you are honest about stuff!
Yuri: Honest about…nothing, really.
you are right to be angry with me.
Alice: No she isn't.
I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? "
Johnny: Can me, a hopeless puss, have a chance?
"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was.
Shania: If she was a internet reviewer, she would often use the phrase, 'if you don't like, don't watch.'
"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down
Yuri: Smile as she began to set a trap.
but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts.
Alice: How many times is Tiana going to remember her encounter with Edward?
Shania: Until she gets to the meaning of life.
Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen.
Johnny: Who I hate, but think he's the best, the greatest!
Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life
Shania: She didn't care. Like everything else.
and part of me wanted to chop his head off with a sore,
Yuri: With a bruise? That's going to a while. What you need is a saw!
a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably.
Alice: This is would be a problem…except the story is named the Temptation of Edward Cullen, not the Temptation of Tiana!
I creamed myself.
Johnny: …can I become asexual?
My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame.
Shania: We get it. You love the man, but you hate the man. Move on!
Yuri: This story somehow repeats itself and moves on with the pace of a snail.
Alice: And now she will remind the audience about the phone call!
I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore. I was scared of the affect he had on me.
Yuri: And he ravished me.
Alice: But I didn't like the way he touched me.
Johnny: I preferred mancabbage to mancarrot.
Shania: I then recall our encounter in the hallway…
"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" mari put her head rind the door suddenly
Alice: Oh, and there's a slice of cheese in the fridge for you to eat!
"Ok then, have fun" I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day.
Johnny: Which was weird, I thought they said those relatives were dead.
"you look so pretty" she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!"
Shania: Hey, I'm not your actual mom…
"omg whatever" I reply. I hated it wen people say that.
Yuri: As previously implied and stated.
I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin a short hot pink dress cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking.
Alice: And a pig's head to cover my own head.
"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? I hate to leaven you alone like this!"
Johnny: We don't like you, but we don't want to go to jail.
"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself!
Shania: She can burn the house down on her own!
Marie smiles and leaves the house.
Yuri: Through the open window.
"greeting a;latnaniana my names uncle larry" said uncle larry,
Alice: His first name is Uncle?
Yuri: Thank god he married a girl named Aunt.
he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face
Johnny: He's Sigma?
"Hey - i said
"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?"
Shania: Wow, this guy is the dark version of us!
"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears
"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly
Yuri: I'm a villain! Go into the kitchen and get me a sandwich!
I stood up and left to wash his car.
Alice: With my pee.
I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed.
Johnny: Nothing that you can handle, karate chick!
I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche.
Shania: A Porche! The hardest car to wash in the entire world!
Johnny: Red hates water.
He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me!
Yuri: Dear god, he's watching her and she knows he's watching her!
Johnny: No!
After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face
Alice: Your feces isn't a sponge!
"wft!" i shouted
He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,.
Johnny: Did a Wicked Witch write this?
I was wet and crying and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes.
Shania: He's a magician! He can remove underwear before the clothes.
He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me!
Yuri: Well.
Alice: ANOTHER ONE?
Johnny: This story approaches a serious manner with the care of not giving a shit!
Shania: Oh, don't worry; this won't affect the story at all! Watch!
"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop!
Alice: …you forget please? Oh dear god…I feel horrible.
The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small.
Johnny: Because that's the worse thing about being RAPED.
I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there.
Shania: Remember folks, the gagging in our mouth means you're human!
I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed.
Yuri: Considering that the author is the main character, is it bad to hate her for being raped?
Shaina: Considering she did that to make a irritating character more sympathetic, I'll allow it.
Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head and my mark on my hand burned like a flame.
Alice: Voldermort is close!
I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,.
Johnny: You owe the department $100,000.
I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.
"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?-
Shania: I'm the father, Jerry?
"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark.
Yuri: Just open your eyes.
I sat quitely on the la push beech apart form the party that was going on beside me.
Alice: I decided that the police weren't interested in my RAPE.
Mike Nooton was following me round like a pulpy and he was so borin!
Johnny: Since when is a puppy boring? What kind of horrible person are you?
None of the things he had to say were interesting but I was nice to him because he wasnt a bad guy.
Shania: Lady, food is interesting. You need it to live.
My thoughts were elsewhere –
Yuri: Here we go again!
Shania: Let's recount all the chapters twice this time!
i could'nt stop thinking about the events of last night, when uncle larry had raped me
Alice: Something I got over pretty fast.
and I had had my scary vision in the forest and a tall p[ale guy in my mind had cale me his daughter.
Johnny: And I woke up in a bathroom with a bunch of bottles surrounding me.
Yuri: Well, this story is written in the style of a frequent alcoholic.
I didnt understand any of I felt so so awful that I had been rapped by that hideous pervy SICKO when I had bin saving myself for the right guy and for marriage and my virginity was torn from my grasp by that twisted guy, it was so crule and unfair, it made me want to cry
Shania: This is the exact same statement about Edward, only with the actual rape!
"omg MIKE watt are you doing talkin to HER?" I turned round and saw four nasty faces learing at us.
Yuri: You know she has cooties!
It was the chearleaders I had seen in the cafetearia, and one of them was the girl dateing Ewdard Cullen, the brown hare girl who was standing at the back looking moody but not saying anything
Alice: Bella? Moody? Quiet? NO!
"Stop being mean Jessica" mike said angerly "tiaas' awesome and if you can't see that its just you bein blind and shallow and stupid like your all ways are"
Johnny: Right, Tiana? Right? Tiana? Where did you go?
"yah I mean look at her clothes, she looks like a stupid goth biaach with her slutty top and short skirt and fithnet tights is she a RAT HOOKER or what?" Jessica screamed.
Shania: She does a convincing argument. Rebuttal?
She was realy ugly when she shouted even though she was technology a hot chick and was dressed in skimpy pink clothes.
Yuri: She's a android?
"you no what Jess, you and YOur frends are SO shallow and YOU are the real slut! you and bella and angela and laruen may were short skirts and low cut tops an stuff but that doesnt maek u beautiful! Its watt underneath that counts!" mike shouted
Alice: Yeah! Underneath, all of you are ugly are sin.
"yah, speakin of witch" said a sly blond girl in the gang who was called lauren, pointing at me "watts with her breasts, they are huge, I bet they are fake!
Johnny: Thank you Captain Obvious.
she laughed and her friends all laughed too even bella and angela who had been quiet until then.
Shania: We all think that overcompensation is funny!
I got up and pushed past them and ran away into the darkness.
Yuri: Not even going to attack them, or call them names? What a lame Mary Sue!
I cold hear them all laughing at me and i felt so embarrased I was relay sensitive about the waste
Alice: The beach could be cleaned of all the waste…
I looked I hated the fact that it made all girls hate me and all guys stare at me,
Johnny: WHY AM I SO PERFECT?
I would have given anything to be ugly or just inviable.
Shania: Then you would still be made fun of! It's high school!
Alice: My gawd, you are, like, so ugly!
Shania: If you're invisible, are you naked? Ew!
I wasnt stuck up
Yuri: Oh yes you are!
and didnt think I was beta than anyone else because of how I looked I just wanted people to treat me like a normal person!
Alice: But you act like you're better than everyone by ignoring them and calling them names in your mind!
Shaina: You're not normal, you're gothic and a vampire!
I could'nt help being slim and blond with relay big boobs it wasnt my fault I hadnt done anything wrong!
Johnny: Except defy the laws of human growth of the body!
-are u ok?" said someone from beside me
Shania: FU in 3…2…1…
"who arr you?" i asked. 3 realy pretty goth girls were standing there smilin at me and I smiled back
Yuri: Sorry Shania, but these are Goths, so they get a free pass!
-we are tyffani, abigaille and rochelle" they said smiling "you seem cool, do you want to be our freinds?"
Alice: They're Legion!
Shania: Together, they have the brainpower of three cells!
"ya of course, i'm just a bit meloncolly cause those horrible chearleaders were bein mean jerks and saying my boobs were fake" i said
Johnny: Let's recap the entire scene!
"omg, u mean jessica and bellas gang? They hate us too because we dont care what they think" said tyfanni
Shania: But not caring, you mean middle fingers?
"they are just jealous cause youre the prettiest girl in the school now and theyre all plain next to you but we dont care about stuff like that, we only care about peoples personalities "
Yuri: Gothic isn't a personality!
"cool" I said, and we talked for hours
Alice: About stuff. Just stuff.
I talked to tyfanni, rochelle and abigail for hours and they were so cool.
Johnny: She just recapped the previous sentence!
Alice: Dear god!
I'd never had proper freinds before who didnt care watt i looked like or where I came from they just liked me for me,
Shania: Then again, she thinks little of everyone, so this shouldn't last long.
and I liked them cause they were uber cool and we had loads of stuff in common!
Yuri: Just stuff.
Alice: Called it or what?
But after a while they all went home and I stayed on the beech.
Alice: I guess they weren't that great of friends.
It was getting late but I didnt want to go home to uncle larry in case he raped me on his car again.
Johnny: She treats it as a minor thing now!
Yuri: Like it was going to something major in the first place!
Soddenly I heard a voice from behind me.
"well tiaa, thou seem to be causing quite a stir at school" his voice was smooth and sexoy and from another time. Edward.
Shania: Let's recap the previous scene with Edward!
"what do you mean!" I demanded
"basically every gay at school wants to have sex with thee,
Yuri: I thought the girls hated her!
and every girl wants to eat thee alive for it,
Alice: Don't you mean 'eat out'?
Shania: ALICE!
hows that for causing a stir my lady?" he smiled and kissed my neck.
Johnny: Nibble, nibble.
"shut up jerk! Btw I met youre girlfriend before, bella I think her name is!
Shania: Or was it Tara? Maybe it was Stephanie?
I dont like her or anything, but how the hell can u cheat on her like that and kiss me how u did?
Yuri: Tiana, The Girl With Two Conflicting Mindsets.
Shania: Not bipolar, this split makes no sense.
Its sick ur a cheatin bastard and i should tell everyone.
Alice: Tell who? The people who you hate?
Tyfanni told me you and bella are like the schools golden couple or something,
Johnny: Yes, the golden couple covered in rust, bird poop and beer.
watt would happen if I told ppl how you had acted in that corridoor with me?"
Shania: Great! Now the story is going to recap previous chapters for everyone else!
"OMG SWEET LADY! THY MUST NOT TELL ANYONE! " he screamed
Yuri: It would ruin my reputation as a creepy stalker!
"it was a moment of madness thats all!
Alice: A moment of Twilight!
Im so so sorry for watt happened,i hope thine can forgive me, but ive promised myself to bella and thats just how it is, no matter how much thou intrests me"
Johnny: Lord Valvatorez will kick my ass if I break a promise!
"fine, then stay away from me " I shouted as I left to go home
Shania: Story over?
but he followed me and grabbed me and pushed me down on the grind.
Yuri: Get back to work!
Johnny: Let me guess…Reference to Uncle Rape?
I was burning with anger and fury but I wanted him so deafly i didnt even try to resist him.
Alice: I decided to let him rape me.
He new how much i wanted him and it drove me mad.
Johnny: Mad I tell you!
He put his hands inside my panties and i gasped.
Shania: He found about my…
Alice: Operation?
Shania: Dang!
I was soddenly desperate to sex with him and i tore my clothes off and i was in my underwear.
Yuri: It came to me in a moment of plot contrivance.
I took off my bra and showed him my naked heaving beasts.
Alice: I then fell over without any support.
"have sex with me now edward " I whispered
Johnny: Forget everything we've said and let's romp!
" i cant " he said, although his body was on top of mine and his fingers touched my nipples
Shania: I guess Edward is into uncontrollable sex.
"please, i'm begging you" I said, hating myself for being such a dirty hore but unable to control my burning desire
Yuri: Why, it must be true love! Only true lovers would have sex without either consenting!
-NOOOO!" he shouted and ran away crying.
Alice: Before tripping over his pants and started to choke on some sand.
I put my clothes back on slowly feeling so ashamed and embarased i could hardly move.
Johnny: Save for putting your clothes back on.
I could'nt beleive i had begged him to do sex on me and even worse he had said no!
Shania: She didn't want it and she wanted to happen?
Alice: She's a riddle in a box wrapped with enigma wrapping paper.
I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night and i didnt even complain cos i felt like i deserved it for being such a horrible slut even though it made me want to die inside.
Yuri: Take it in people! This story at the lowest point! SUCK IT DOWN! SUCK IT ALL DOWN!
Johnny: My Immortal at least was written by a complete moron, not by a insensitive jackass!
Uncle larry finally left me alone and I thought about killing myself as i cryed and cryed as i fell slowly into a dreamless sleep.
Alice: She treats major problems as offhand subjects!
Shania: What else is new?
"Ladies and gentleman!" Yuri boomed over a microphone. "Today we present…RANDOM THEATER!"
"Hello!" Alice came on stage wearing a mix-up of her and Shania's clothes, with Johnny's Liberty Ghost jacket on. "I'm Clarabelle Vanity Queen Dollmaker. I hate my body for being sexy but I all want is the heart of one man…this man!" Alice welcomed on Johnny, wearing Yuri's jacket and styled his hair so a large strand of hair covered his right eye.
"Hi pathetic mortals." Solemnly said Johnny. "I'm Bob. I lived for four thousand, five hundred and sixty-nine years. I loved many a great woman, but Clara here took my heart unlike any other. But I know her secret. Her secret…as a fastfood mermaid! And then came her rival…" Shania came on stage, wearing a bikini and allowing her breasts to bounce.
"Hello~" She said "I'm Angie Boobie. I'm a cheerleader who loves sex. Clara is such a whore. I'm so much better than her." Johnny almost broke out of character watching Shaina bounce, but he kept true.
"Nice, guys, nice!" Yuri came out clapping. "Props to you Shaina, you actually did something with us!"
"Eh, felt like fun." Shania said with a bounce, this time showing off to Johnny with a sly smile. "But the fun's over. I got a headache from that stupid story." Shania then left towards her cabin.
"Me too. Besides, Johnny's jacket itches." Alice said while scratching her arm.
"Hey!"
"Here, I'm going to take a nap." Alice threw Johnny's jacket to him as she followed Shania. As the door closed, Johnny approached Yuri while fixing his hair.
"…is Alice okay?" Asked Johnny.
"Huh?"
"Surely you noticed that Alice is getting raunchier in the theater while Shania is getting cleaner, but yet Shania is actually getting involved in our projects while exposing her body, something she hates doing?" Johnny said all serious.
"…yeah. I think My Immortal and this story is starting to have a effect on them. Also…" Yuri's face soured. "We spent more time criticizing the story than making fun of it."
"We're losing our touch."
"Gilbert is going to win if we don't shape up."
"We're halfway through the story. We got some time."
"Yeah…"
I'm going to call it. My Immortal is a bad story, but this one is a horrible story. My Immortal is written in scribbles. Forbiden Fruit is written in shit. My Immortal has a classic Mary-Sue. Forbiden Fruit has a wretched loathsome Mary-Sue.
It might be shorter, but Forbiden Fruit is forbidden for a reason. It's tastes like a low-brow family's trash.