The Road I'm On pt.3
Draco Malfoy Songfic (Sequel to Truth)
'The Road I'm On' – 3 Doors Down
But what you thought was real in life has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong
Draco sat in the Great Hall picking at his food, mood sullen and frustrated. All the spare time he'd had that day had been put towards working on the Vanishing Cabinet, but he had gotten nowhere. The magic he had to weave was above and beyond his current mastery, so he had to find alternative routes he could perform; the whole operation was a mess. And he was behind schedule. The warnings were growing more urgent, the threats more sinister. It came to where skipping breakfast was a blessing; he could postpone having to read those messages.
If he'd have known the heavy burden that came with being a Death Eater, he wouldn't have idolized it all those years. He had been raised when the Dark Lord was supposedly dead. Supporting and proclaiming a fear you've never experienced is easy; coming face-to-face with it is a whole new level of terror altogether. Draco looked at his left arm, the wriggling tattoo just visible in the shadow of his robes. Chills raced along his spine.
"There's always Astoria," he thought, warmth spreading through his chest as he thought of the way she felt in his arms. He looked up, expecting to see her sitting forlorn and upset without him. Instead she was smiling and laughing with Daphne's friends. He knew he should have felt relieved to see her handling their separation well, but in its place he felt betrayal stab through his heart. No one needed Draco Malfoy. Not his friends, not Astoria Greengrass, nobody. Not even himself.
Draco walked to the Prefect's bathroom, an idea in mind that he didn't want to fully think about. When he entered the baths he was thankful they were empty; most people were still at dinner. He turned on the faucets to the large tub and began to undress while the water filled.
He entered the bath slowly when it was ready, chill bumps appearing all over his body. Soon he was up to his neck in the tepid water. Taking one last gulp of air, he submerged the rest of his body, air escaping in bubbles from his nose. Soon he ran out of breath and water began rushing into his nose, panic shooting off warnings in his head. He reflexively shot up to the surface for air, water sputtering from his mouth.
"I can't do this," he moaned, resting his head against the side of the bath, "I can't even take my own life." His left arm floated freely in the water, his Dark Mark clearly visible. "He thinks he owns me," thought Draco bitterly, "I'll show him." Once again he slid under the water, arms held above his head on the wall to keep him from floating upwards.
A vision of Astoria came to him under the water, memories of how they'd sat next to each other that stormy night two days ago, her lips pressed against his, and the whisper that they weren't impossible. His resolve broke as he engulfed water and he once again surfaced. He threw up a river of fluid from his lungs, nausea rising in his stomach. He rested his head against the side of the bath, breathing deeply.
And I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on
Almost half an hour had passed since dinner had begun, and Astoria was finally retiring to the common room. As she stepped into the entrance hall, someone whistled to get her attention. She turned to see Blaise Zabini catching up to her, Theodore Nott hanging behind.
"What do you want, Zabini?" she asked, in no particular mood for his games.
"Malfoy's been looking a little glum lately; did you finally break it off with him?" She didn't like his expression, but couldn't figure out what he was playing at.
"Yes. What's it matter to you?" she answered curtly, Blaise smirking and shaking his head.
"You always expect the worst from me, don't you Greengrass? I've got a right to know why my best mate's upset." Astoria could have screamed. Best mate? He only enjoyed manipulating people. "So just between you and me," he whispered and Astoria saw a sly grin spread across Nott's face, "how many times did you two do it?" Astoria's face dropped in shock while Zabini chuckled.
"I'm fourteen!" she shouted, "How dare you, you disgusting, perverted—"
"I'll take that to mean you're a virgin then? No wonder Draco looked so suicidal heading off to the Prefect's baths just now." Astoria wanted to smack the loony grin on his face, but instead she turned and began for the baths.
"Cough up, Nott; I told you Malfoy didn't have it in him," she heard Blaise say triumphantly as she climbed the staircases.
What you thought was real in life has somehow steered you wrong
And now you just keep drivin' tryin' to find out where you belong
Astoria's feet flew underneath her as she ran to the Prefect's baths, hoping Zabini had just been joking when he said suicidal.
"Of course he was," piped in her logical side, "He's Blaise Zabini." Astoria kept running nonetheless, knowing she wouldn't rest until she at least checked on him.
The door to the baths was open, lucky for her because she didn't know the password. A stack of neatly folded clothes lay near the large bath, a wand and belt on top. That wasn't what caught her attention, however. Two white arms stuck out from the pool, gripping the sides.
A scream tore from Astoria's lips as she ran forward, jumping into the water feet first. Water clouded her vision for a few seconds when she landed, but soon she could see. She quickly grabbed him under the arms, jerking towards the surface. He gave way easily, arms floating limply at his side.
He did not come to when his face broke the surface. She tried to lift him out of the bath, but he was too heavy. She saw his wand lying close by and grabbed it off his clothes.
"Levicorpus!" She pointed the wand at his prone body, letting go as she magically raised him out of the water. The added weight of her drenched school robes made climbing out of the bath herself difficult, but she found the strength.
Water seeped from Draco's lips as he lie there, but he didn't stir. Panicking, Astoria laid her ear against his cold chest, straining her hearing for a beat. She could hear nothing.
I know you feel helpless now and I know you feel alone
That's the same road, the same road that I'm on
Then. . .
Thump-thump.
Tears welled in her eyes as she began to shake him, her hand slapping his face to wake him up. Slowly his eyelids opened to reveal his pale grey eyes once again. Astoria choked on her tears, relief crashing about her as she wept. She simply stared at him while he put a wet hand on her cool cheek, cupping her face.
"Am I dead?" he asked softly, eyes looking over every feature of her face. She'd never seen him look so at peace.
"No," she whispered in reply, taking the hand on her cheek in her fingers. As if to confirm her statement, Draco suddenly choked, turning onto his side as water flowed from his mouth. His nausea then hit him full force and he puked, his stomach's contents mixing with the pool of water. Draco then groaned and rested his head on the floor, eyes closed.
Astoria waved his wand and cleared the mess, then grabbed a towel from a nearby stack. She dried him off as best she could; only then did she realize he was naked. Her cheeks burned slightly rosy in hue as she ran the towel over his legs, respecting his privacy as much as possible. When she was finished Draco stirred, lifting his head to look at her.
"Would you like your clothes?" Astoria asked, offering him what he'd folded earlier. He took them and she turned her back while he changed, waiting until she heard the snaps of his cloak being fastened. She turned to look at him, his wand in hand. She handed it over silently and he likewise received it.
Astoria stared at him blankly, words failing her as she tried to come up with the right combination. He was mute as well. Then,
"Why?"
It was a simple question, but Draco was silent for a long time.
"I. . .I was tired of being unwanted. I was annoyed with myself," he said quietly, "I was sick of being a monster."
"Don't call yourself that."
"Call me what?"
"A monster."
Draco grimaced. "It's what I am."
"No, it's not!" Astoria said strongly. He pulled back his left robe sleeve and held up the Dark Mark.
"This is who I am, Astoria. It's what I've become," he growled softly. She shook her head, walking forward to take his arm.
"This is no more a part of you than anything else. You can't sum yourself up into one word, Draco. You're more than that. You're a Malfoy, a Slytherin, a seeker, a schoolboy, a human-being! And above all that, you're the man I love," she whispered at the end, fresh tears starting to roll down her cheeks. "You're not a monster."
"What do you know about love?" he queried softly, "You're only fourteen." Astoria looked him straight in the eyes.
"I know love is when you feel a sense of loyalty to a person, a promise you'll always be there for them. I know love is a certain bond you feel between yourself and another. I know that love is when you want to be with that person forever, to share the same road," another tear slipped down her cheek, "And I know I feel that way about you." Draco reached out and lifted his ring from under her sodden robes. He held the cool metal in his hand, its sapphire wet with water droplets. Astoria placed her hand atop his and held it, feeling connected to him once more.
Draco leaned down and gently nuzzled his lips against hers. They kissed tenderly, soft mouths caressing each other until Draco lifted.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled against her lips.
"I love you," she whispered in reply, "I'm not leaving your side; the Dark Lord be damned."
"He could kill you," Draco warned, but she did not cower.
"I'd rather die at your side than by another's. We walk the same road, Draco. I'm not going to abandon you like everyone else." Once again he pressed his lips against hers, his hands slipping around her back. Yet all too soon he pulled away once again.
"Astoria?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
So what did you think? Please review :)
One final sonfic is planned to round out my series of three Draco/Astoria fics, so stay tuned!
-Jackie