Normal POV

I felt a pair of strong arms encircle me as I stood on the wall looking out over the plains; I felt no panic as I knew who it was.

"Why are you so sad?" Gawain asked as he rested his head on my shoulder. "We all made it through this death wish of a mission."

"It is not the fact that we all survived, rather it is the principle of this mission," I said as I turned around in his arms. "For one boy! We put our lives at risk for one stupid boy who will one day take over the country that we so hate!"

"Arthur seems to think that he is a good person," Gawain said as he brought his hand up to my face and gently ran the back of his hand along my cheek. I could tell that he was trying to calm me down, and I loved him for that, but at this moment I was to angry to listen to him.

"To Hell with Arthur!" I said as I broke away from him.

"Merenwen, tell me you do not mean that! He has been a good commander and a good friend; he has never led us astray and gotten us out of more precarious situations than Bors can count."

I knew that the last part was meant as a joke, and it worked: I felt the corners of my mouth twitch as a smile made itself present. I moved back into his embrace and placed my head on his chest, taking his scent in; it did not take more than a split second before I felt his arms around me. "We were just so close to losing Dag and Luthien that it scares me."

"I know love, I know." I suddenly felt him go tense as a rock, and his breath hitched.

Lifting my head off his chest, I looked into his eyes to try and gauge what was the matter. "What is it?"

He did not say anything, but rather was staring straight ahead. I turned around and that was when I saw it: hundreds of torches all gathered together.

"Jols, get the others!" Gawain shouted. Apparently he had looked around him and seen that Jols was walking at the base of the wall.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the reality of the predicament sunk into me, and I could do nothing else than stumble back and find a place, sitting on the edge of the wall, and stare out into open space.

"Merenwen?"

I could hear Gawain in the distance, but it was not until I felt him pull me into his embrace that I actually realized that he was right there with me. "Mer, are you alright?"

"Oh, Gawain, what are we going to do?" I cried as I buried my head once again into his chest, seeking the comfort that I knew I would find.

"Sh, it will be alright," Gawain cooed as he gently rocked me back and forth, much like you would do to a young child who was frightened. Although he tried to comfort me, I could tell by the way that he held himself that he was nervous himself as to what would happen.

"What is going on?" Galahad said as he came up the wall in a quick jog. Gawain did not say anything, but he must have gestured to the wall, because shortly after I could hear Galahad cursing under his breath.

One by one, the others came to the wall and had similar reactions to ours. As we all stood around each other, contemplating what would happen to us, we noticed Arthur and Guinevere coming up together to inspect what we had all already seen, and after looking each of us in the eye, and taking one look around the fort, he returned his gaze to us.

"Knights, my journey with you must end here." Slowly, the words that he spoke began to sink in, and I suddenly felt like doing nothing more than throw a fit in sadness at the prospect of what he was implying. "May God go with you," he said as he turned and once again made his way down the wall to get ready for the battle that he had chosen to face on his own. Lancelot, not being able to comprehend nor accept what his friend had planned to do, quickly ran after him with every intention to stop him from going to his death. As for the rest of us, there was nothing more to do than to retire to our quarters and brace ourselves for what the dawn would bring.

"Gawain, what are we going to do?" We were walking through the winding corridors of the fort as we made our way to our rooms.

"The only thing that we can do: we will leave the fort with the others and make our way back home," he said as he stopped in front of my door and gently bent down to kiss me deeply.

"Gawain, I want to stay with you tonight," I whispered as we broke the kiss to take in much needed air. At hearing my words, he opened his eyes to search my own for any signs of doubt or uncertainty and, finding none, he nodded. With my hand in his, we made our way to his room.

As we reached his door, Gawain brought his lips down to meet mine in a frenzy of passion and desire, that left us both craving more, as we stumbled through the door and together crashed into the wall near his bed.

"Gawain," I called out to him as he placed open-mouthed kisses along my neck. My body trembled in what I could only imagine to be a combination of anticipation and fear.

"Mer," he mumbled back with increasing vigour while one hand confidently moved from my waist, making its way up to my breast, and the other, which had until now been caressing my neck, moved to my inner thigh where he, ever so slowly, began to move upwards.

Up until now I had let my body take control of what was happening, but I now began to feel uneasy. Although I loved Gawain with all of my heart and soul, I knew the significance of what I was about to do. Even though the hands upon my body were so familiar to me, the motions could not have seemed more strange. "Gawain, wait," I called out as I stopped both of his hands in their path.

Slowly, he pulled his head up to gage my expression, his eyes glazed with lust. "What is it, Mer?" he asked as he brought the hand that had been on my thigh to gently cup my cheek.

"I...I've never done this," I told him as I adverted my gaze from the intensity of his.

It was not long before he gently took hold of my chin to return my eyes to his. Although I tried not to look at him in the eyes it was to no avail. "Mer, look at me." His voice was husky yet gentle and I had no choice but to comply. In his eyes there was no judgement, only understanding and love. Slowly, he took my hand, and with infinite care guided me to lie on the bed. It was a gesture that put me at ease as I knew nothing was expected of me.

Safe in this knowledge I felt brave once again and motioned for Gawain to join me. As he came into arm's reach, and hovered above me, I began to untie his tunic, removing it from his body. He remained above me silently, allowing me the room to feel comfortable in, although I now felt that this was no longer necessary and wound my hands into his hair to bring his mouth once again to mine.

Once I was sure that he understood that I had no intentions of stopping, I slowly traced my hands down his neck, across his well-defined shoulders and back, to slowly let them caress his sides. The result of this was a deep groan from the man above me. The hand that had once been on my thigh now returned there, and this time I had no desire to stop him. Slowly, and with expert hands, he began to remove my clothes. The pace quickened as I untied his trousers, which he then wrestled free from. Once we were completely bare he eased his body down onto mine, where there was a moment's hesitation before our bodies merged, and I found what I had been so afraid of to be a simple and pure act of love.