The sense of safety, combined with the warm body that lay beneath me. Slowly brought m slowly out of the dream world and into the real one, where I woke only to find Gawain tenderly looking down at me, as I lay with my head resting on his chest. In turn I snuggled deeper into his chest, seeking the warmth that he so willingly provided.
"Good morning." His voice was soft and groggy with sleep.
"Mm, good morning," was all I could say in return, as Gawain traced slow lazy patterns across my shoulders and back.
"Today we finally return to our home," he said with a large smile plastered across his face.
"Mm, and you will then find your beautiful Sarmatian woman to wed and I shall return to the mountains to dwell for the rest of my days," I returned in jest, but the emotions that I was feeling deep inside, feelings that were not necessarily connected to Gawain, surfaced in my voice.
"No need to search." He paused for what I could only imagine was to draw out the suspense. Slowly I gave him a questioning look, and he decided to continue: "I have already found her. You." He confirmed with a kiss. The kiss continued to grow deeper, but alas it was not meant to last. Soon I felt my uncertainty return and found myself with no other way to comfort myself, to quench the uncertainty than to break the kiss, and once again find the sanctuary of Gawain's warm chest.
"Mer?" he asked, but I refused to answer him. "Merenwen, please look at me!" Slowly I surrendered and gave him my attention, from where he continued, "What's wrong?"
"It does not feel right, Gawain, leaving Arthur to fight against thousands, while we just run away like a dog with its tail between its legs."
"Mer, it's not our fight! We have risked our lives for fifteen years, it's been enough," he assured me as he gently caressed my face.
Slowly and reluctantly I nodded, whereafter he began to get up from the bed and ready himself for the journey that lay ahead of us.
"Come, we must get ready."
Nodding slowly, I too began to make myself ready. Once dressed, I picked up my sword and quiver, and together we walked to the stables where the horses and the others awaited us.
"Gawain, Mer." It was Lancelot who greeted us as he sat astride Tempest's back with Luthien in front of him. In one hand he also held the reins of Flecha, while Dagonet held the reins of Adrian.
"Lancelot," I greeted with a nod and a smile as I swung up on Flecha and took the reins from him. Looking to my right I saw that Gawain too had mounted Adrian, and with one final nod to everyone we took off, leaving the fort behind us, hopefully never to see it again. Though, as we met up with the rest of the party that was leaving Hadrian's Wall, our pace slowed. It became even slower when our eyes fell on Arthur at the top of Badon Hill, dressed in full armour.
As I looked around at the others, I could tell by the look in their eyes that they too felt ashamed that they were leaving their commander, their friend behind to fight a battle that he had no chance of winning.
Flecha danced beneath me and cried out to his comrades who were beside him. He already knew what I was going to do, and he had already agreed to fight alongside me once more, to protect me.
"Mer?" Gawain apparently had not only understood Flecha, but had seen something in my eyes. With one last look to the man that I loved, I reined Flecha in beside him and leaned over to give him a final kiss.
"I love you!"