Big thanks to my beta Marcia794 for always being there for me. Thanks to anyone who read, please review me, too :)

(and guys, don't be sad about the lucian ustream, they're just messing with us; everything is gonna be fine)

Chapter 2 - Reality Hits

Aria's POV

''Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'' - Albert Einstein

My mind went blanker than before. That's why everything seemed weird to me. Because this whole evening I felt like Ezra was with me, near me, although he was supposed to be in Rosewood. That's what he had told me the previous night at the brew. He would stay in his apartement, he would spend his evening working on a few homework assignments we had handed over to him for the weekend. Seems that it was a lie; this and a thousand more.

Sure, there would be a logical explanation. Ezra couldn't have been in Ravenswood, he couldn't be that clown. He couldn't know about A from the inside. He couldn't be working with them. My handsome teacher couldn't have hurt me this way.

"Earth to Aria!" Hanna's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Are you okay honey?" asked Em in a concerned tone. They must have tried to get my attention for a few times now.

"I.. Uh.. Need to go." I muttered. How could I possibly talk to them about my epiphany? I had to handle things myself. "I feel emotionally and physically exhausted." Which wasn't a lie.

"Aria." This was Spencer's authoritative tone. Oh, crap. "What's wrong?" I couldn't even look her in the eyes. Spencer could read me like an open book. It was so weird how she hadn't figured out what was going on with me and Ezra long ago, she was the one I was the most afraid of finding out my secret.

"Nothing, Spence," I put on my poker face and managed to look at her, "I really need to go." There was no way I was telling them that the clown at the magic show was our English teacher and hot boyfriend of mine. Ex-boyfriend, Aria! I mentally slapped myself.

"Do you want us to drive you home? You seem pale." Always the caring Em.

"No, I'm okay. I want to get some fresh air anyway." From the corner of my eye I saw Hanna looking at me in a weird way, she knew something bad was going on. However, she just said "Okay, just take care."

"And send us a text when you get home, will you?"

"Okay, Spence." Without looking at them again, I stood up and practically ran for the door. The girls said a concerned 'goodnight' but I couldn't answer; the tears were already streaming down my face.

I arrived at home in zero time and threw my stuff on the floor. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up on my bed and cry myself to death. Melodramatic much? Well, I don't know what a normal reaction to finding out that the love of your life has been ruining your and your friends' lives for months is.

I lay on my bed in the heavy dress I had on since the party in Ravenswood; it was dark pink satin with black lace details, it was beautiful. I snuggled in my fluffy pillows and tried to calm my breath. My mind drifted off to happy moments with him. Sure, our relationship has always been full of obstacles and drama, but we had our moments of bliss. I don't know why, but suddenly I started thinking about a single night at his apartment, a few days before Malcolm walked into his life and turned everything upside down.

I'm laying on Ezra's naked chest and it's my favourite place on earth. My day has been really tough but that's normal for me now; amlost everyday is like that. My life is a mess but here, in apartment 3B I can forget about everything and focus on living my own fairytale with Ezra. But today I was the one who should have taken care of him; he had a big fight with his mother that ruined his mood. That bitchis a total bitch.After I told Ezra that she tried to bribe me so as to leave her son alone, he totally lost it. They exchanged some harsh words and now Ezra says that she won't mess with us again. Can't say I believe this is happening anytime soon.

I was ready to start arguing again about how that hurt me and that she might be right and maybe I should leave his life for good, but he grabbed my face in his hands and silenced me with his lips. Then I couldn't care less about his mother or their money or even his job; the only thing I cared about was him. He carried me to his bed and made love to me until I forgot everything about our problems, because I felt safe with him. There was no A, no fear, nothing.

Ezra hardly mentioned my troubled life. Apart from him losing his job in Rosewood high, the A-drama hadn't affected him any other way so far and that was something I was glad for. Toby used to work with A for his personal reasons, Caleb had been hurt because of Hanna's involvement and Paige always tried to help Emily on this. Ezra was mostly out of this all and I hoped things would stay that way; althought I feared that A's radar would catch him soon.

"Are you asleep, Aria?" Would I ever get used to the way he said my name?

"No. I was thinking."

"About what, love?" His left hand was playing with my hair, a soothing act which added to the feeling of total safety I had when I was with him. I detached my face from his chest so I could look into his eyes and he was looking me in that way that always made me weak at the knees.

"About you. I'm scared for you, A won't leave you uninvolved for too long." His face changed in an instant, the melting blue in his eyes transferred into ice, a hard expression that showed total hate and disgust.

"You don't have to worry about me. You can't. A is after you and you have to take care of yourself and just yourself." I was so sure that his answer would be something like this.

"But I can't just do this, Ezra! Everybody who's in our lives is suffering, because of us. You are very much in my life so I can't help thinking that you are a target for A!"

"A has tried to separate us more than once and sometimes it's been with success. There's nothing else that could hurt me more than being without you so you can't say that I haven't had my fair amount of suffering in this!" Moments like this one, when he basically said that he can't live without me, made my heart ache from all the love I feel for him.

"I know,but even your life is at risk here, can't you see that?"

"I couldn't care less about my life. As long as you're safe, as long as I can keep you safe." His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke those words and his expression was one of total pain. Suddenly my body was covered in goose bumps. His eyes glinted in the moonlight and I had never seen Ezra so vulnerable.

"Baby, is everything okay?" I pecked his cheek and his eyes closed for an instant. When he opened them, the look he gave me screamed affection and love.

"Do you trust me, Aria?"

"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"

"Tell me, please." He seemed so scared and unsure, could he even doubt my feelings for him? After everything we had been through?

"Of course I do. More than anyone." He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead and at that moment I knew that something bad was going on.

I couldn't stop the sobs that errupted from my chest now. How could I have been so blind all this time? I guess unconditional love does that to you. I never questioned anything when it came to Ezra, I trusted him with my life. I hadn't been totally honest with him from the beginning of our relationship because there were things that he couldn't know, like A's existence or what happened with Jenna. And I couldn't tell him, it was a promise to the girls. The girls I lied to constantly, so as to keep our relationship a secret although it wasn't easy and it hurt me; it was like living a double life. It wasn't easy to pretend that my life was normal and that I didn't spend every minute of every day thinking about him and how my being in his life could destroy his career and reputation. But I kept quiet, for him; until Hanna saw us. And even though my friends were not entirely okay with this they still supported me (yeah, Spencer had some snarky comments now and then but I could deal with her). They supported me and believed in him, too.

So then I trusted him and I talked to him about everything. What we did to Jenna that night, what has been happening since the first day he walked into our classroom and I got that strange text, I even told him about my father's biggest secret. His reaction to all this never occured to me until now. He didn't even bat an eyelash, it was almost normal to him, everything that happened, like he knew it already. But is it possible that he could know? Did he walk into my life on purpose, just to play his twisted game and then leave me? I couldn't bear this thought, that maybe all that I have ever been to him was a means to an end.

But then again, he knew everything about me, every single detail of my life, when I knew basically nothing about him. More than once I had found out that Ezra was hiding things from me and secrets of his life were revealed out of thin air, moslty without his initiative. Like his affiance with Jackie or his past with Maggie (and more importantly her pregnancy, although it turned out that the boy wasn't his son after all). What did all this mean? Obviously that he was really good at keeping secrets, good at lying; no wonder we were so alike. Sure, there were more things about him that I didn't know,but this? No, it couldn't be.. He couldn't be this cruel with me, I knew he loved me..

The more I was thinking about him, the clearer everything became. One thing I have learned the past year was that in life there are no coincidences. I always thought that Ezra was my prince charming, I melted even thinking about how awfully good-looking he was, how smart and kind, how he had everyone wrapped around his finger. As it seemed now, life hadn't been so generous with me and this flawless image of him would soon be destroyed, hell it already was. He was the only one who never helped us solve this pathetic mystery and I was the only one who never got in real danger. What if he was keeping me out of trouble? My heart fluttered,that means he really loves me. Ugh, no; my inner voice was screaming. That means he wants you alive and close to him so he can go on torturing everyone around you until he gets Ali.

Ali. Why on earth would he want Ali? Maybe he knew her, that's why he was at her funeral. Apparently, there were more things than I ever could imagine that I didn't know about him and if I had paid closer attention I would have suspected them. It was in front of my eyes, there, the truth, but I was too stupid to realise it. 'Do you trust me, Aria?' His words echoed in my head once again. His pained expression, how sure he was when he basically said that he was out of danger. It appears after all that I was the one who needed protection, not him. I needed to save my life from Ezra Fitz, my awesome older boyfriend who happens to be a teacher in my high scool but is also a terrorist in his free time.

See you next Saturday - or sooner.

Love, A