A/N: Hello dear readers. I am sorry that it has been so long. But in between writer's block and my studies it has been hard to write. But I am back now :) I will try and continue updating this story further soon :) I hope you enjoy it and please review, I love knowing what you all think.

Pain. It dominated all of my senses as the darkness lifted. The memories of the battle only a blur of movements, movements that slowly turned into fragmented events. The more I tried to recall the events the more it caused my head to hurt, but it was a pain that was nothing compared to the pain in my chest.

Every breath that I took felt like a thousand knives digging into it, I tried to breathe through the pain. At the beginning, it seemed like it would work, but then as the air passed through my throat it only dried it further, an action that only succeeded in throwing my body into fits of coughing.

The pain… the pain only intensified, there was no relief. Was I dead, was this the hell that I had been sent to for obeying orders of a tyrant. Was I never to be free of the lot that I had been dealt in life? I began to cry the pain and the frustration of not receiving relief of the pressure becoming too much for me. I could think of nothing else.

Suddenly I felt a cold cloth press against my forehead, and a soothing voice call out to me, "Merenwen, Merenwen. Here its ok, drink this." I felt cool liquid hit my lips, and pass through down my throat. The relief was immense, and the pain began to fade to become manageable. Slowly and stiffly I grabbed out for the hand that held the cup, and tried to tilt it further back, trying to gain more of the sweet relief. "Slowly, slowly now."

I slowly opened my eyes, and at first I was blinded by the sheering light, but then slowly regained my sight, and, there, before me I saw Luthien standing sitting by my side holding the cup. "Luthien." It was great to see her alive and in one piece "What is that?" I asked indicating to the cup, I knew that it was water but at the same time it tasted different.

"Hello Mer." She greeted with a kind smile "It is water with the poppy, helps with the pain. Do you know how lucky you are to be alive?" She asked me setting the cup down on the bedside table. "Your wounds were clean cut, Dag said that you would be ok, but Mer you had us all so worried. Especially Gawain…"

"Gawain! Where is he?" I asked not letting her finish her sentence, and tried to sit up, but this only brought the pain back. Looking down, I could see bandages around my chest that stuck up above the covers. And now I could also feel the pain from my leg, no doubt there were bandages there too.

"Easy, your injuries, you are still too weak." She said as she pushed me to lie back down. "He is over there, he has not left your side. It is amazing that Vanora even got him to eat at all." I looked over to where she pointed and there I could see him. He was curled up on a chair by the wall, with his head bent down, clearly asleep. "He watched over you all night." He looked horrible, his skin was pale and he looked like he had lost some weight, but he too was in one piece, at least enough that there were no body parts missing. But how could it be that he looked so bad?

"How long have I been here?"

"It has been a week since Badon Hill." A weak? It felt surrealistic; it was hard at this point to tell what was real and what was a horrible dream. Then suddenly flashes of the battle flew before my eyes. A dance of swords, the Saxon and Tristan…

"Tristan?"

"He is alright, they all are." I let out a pained sigh of relief. She had guessed my feelings correct. Of course I was concerned for all of them, but I knew that Tristan had been injured, and the fear that I would lose him as I lay on the battlefield was still fresh in my mind. "He was brought here as well, his injuries, bad, but not as severe as yours, yet the stubborn fool refused more than three days of rest and he is back on patrol." She finished with a gentle smile. It was a relief knowing that everyone was safe and more importantly free; there was only one thing that I wanted now.

"Gawain." I said softly as I reached out for him. Luthien needed no more coaxing and walked over to where he sat and shook him awake. The poor man woke in disorientation, fatigue and worry having taken much of his strength and sense. I could only vaguely make out what they were saying, and the minute that Luthien mentioned my name his head snapped in my direction with utter fear and devastation written across his face. Fear that was washed away with disbelief and hope as he saw me looking back at him.

It was almost comical to watch him as he suddenly scrambled from his seat, causing the chair to skid across the floor and half crawled half ran to my side, where he collapsed at my side, taking Luthien's place and clasping my face in his hands, looking for signs that he was not hallucinating. That I had indeed returned from the lands of the shadows. The pain in my head intensified at his touch, and I would later find that I had an impressive bruise on my head from the fight, but in that moment I did not care. In this moment what I needed the most was this man that was in front of me, looking into my soul with happiness that I had returned to him, hope that he was not dreaming, fear that he was mistaken and that this was a dream, and love, fierce love.

I did the only thing that I could, I took hold of his arm with one hand and placed my other hand on his cheek, in a reassurance that I was real and that I had returned to him, but also in relief that he had not succumbed to the horrors of Badon Hill. It was this simple touch that released us both from our fears and found ourselves locked in a searing kiss that was full of promises for tomorrow.

Our circumstances had changed but our world had not, but together we knew that we would continue to survive whatever was to come.