Thanks to obsessedwithezria, Jdrust99, ezriaS2 and Claire0881 for the reviews! needavice, are you a cutie or are you a cutie? (go read her twilight story, it's great). Marcia794, thanks for reading, correcting and loving my story. It means so much.
This is Ezra's pov again so don't be confused at the beginning, he's just thinking about Saturday night. Enjoy!
Chapter 9 - Fixing Things
Ezra's POV
'A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.' - John C. Maxwell
She figured it out. She knows who I really am. She broke up with me. And I'm screwed.
I was sitting in my classroom, pretending to be busy with a few papers while I was basically thinking about her again. Aria. Even thinking about her name caused me pain. I couldn't believe that she left like that the other night, I needed to explain to her what was - is - going on. I shouldn't tell her, she shouldn't learn anything; but I have no choice anymore.
Yeah, I did nothing to stop her from leaving my apartment but I just couldn't, her words were like a dagger through my heart. 'We're not meant to be, Ezra.' How could she really believe that? After everything we had been through.. Our relationship was never easy, we both knew that from the first moment we met each other in that classroom; this classroom. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into but we always fought for each other, no matter how hard it was.
And I couldn't lose her. God, what would I do if I lost her forever? If she decided that she didn't want to be with me, if she hated me after I told her the truth..
Suddenly I looked up and found her beautiful hazel eyes boring into mine. I wanted to get up and take her in my arms and apologise for being a jerk once again, I wanted to beg her to come back to me. During the whole class I was focused on her, while she was just looking at the blank paper resting on her desk. I really couldn't teach today as I had barely slept the past couple of nights, so I made them write a brief test on The Great Gatsby. This book reminded me of her; that night we watched the movie adaptation at the cinema and then discussed it for hours cuddled up on my couch. And that night I found her on that damn train, dressed up as Daisy and so beautiful, so perfect that once again made me wonder how could I be doing this to her.
The bell rang and I called after her, I needed to talk to her as she never replied to my texts. I had made my decision; I would talk to her. It was a risk that I was willing to take so I wouldn't lose her again, because I couldn't bear that. I would tell her about Alison and A, and her father..
When she agreed to come over later I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. She had no idea about all the things I had done in the past or the things I was doing in the present just to protect her. I knew that she wouldn't forgive me anytime soon, but I would take the risk and talk to her because I had faith in us. I had faith in her love for me.
There were things I had done in the past that I regretted, but doing everything in my power to protect the girl I loved was something that I would never take back. Even if it destroyed me. And no matter how much I loved and needed her, I was even willing to lose her if that was what I had to do. I didn't know what I would do with my life after that, but if it meant keeping her safe I would do it.
The last time I worked for the mysterious A was Saturday night, while I was in Ravenswood presenting a magic show. When the four familiar faces arrived I knew it was time for my major trick. I had to make one of them 'disappear' so the others could be distracted, and then one of them would be taken some place else and I didn't know what would happen next. I just had to do my part. I knew that the girl I would choose for my act would obviously not be taken away so she would stay safe for tonight. And just like that, the choice was easy, as it had always been.
Her beautiful eyes were confused and she didn't want to be a part of the act. I wanted to laugh; she seemed so annoyed. But she had to be the one, I couldn't risk her being taken away tonight. She finally gave in to my ridiculous pleas and followed me on the stage. The crowd cheered and I was relieved that I had achieved what I wanted. The moment I took her hand in mine everything felt right. Our kiss at the brew had given me hope that maybe things could work again between us. I knew that it was a matter of time until she found out about me; she was smart and observant and all this time I was hiding things from her would soon be over.
And now it was time for me to talk to her, I couldn't let her find out the truth from someone else. It was risky and she would be mad at me and hate me, but I still had faith in us. Only there was another obstacle in our way this time; Jake.
Every time I saw them together I just wanted to rip his head off. She was mine, how could he touch her and make her laugh and dance with her? I was the one who loved her. The one whose life was a total mess just for the sake of keeping her safe. He was a mistake and she knew it too well.
After I finished my classes for the day, I gathered my things and headed for the exit. As I stepped out the door, I saw Spencer approaching me from the corner of my eye , a malicious look in her eyes.
"Mr. Fitz!" I stopped walking and turned around, I wasn't sure if I could have a conversation with that Spencer at the moment.
"Miss Hastings, how can I help you?"
"Cut the crap Ezra, what did you do to her?" She whispered with a frustrated voice.
"I'm sorry?" Did Aria talk to her friends about me? Probably. It had been two days since she left my apartment in a terrible condition and she would have looked for comfort in her friends.
"Aria. We can't find her anywhere after we left English." This was weird. Aria would never ditch her classes; except for the times she had to be 'somewhere' with the girls. Or me.
"Are you sure she left school? Did you try to call her?" My heart was beating really fast and I was getting anxious. What if something bad had happened to her? What if A had tried to hurt her because of what she had found out about me? I wasn't supposed to talk to her but I had to, because I loved her and I couldn't lose her. But this would be betrayal to the enemy... I was counting on the fact that A trusted me and would never imagine that I would talk to her about all this mess. Trusted me in the way that A knew how much I valued her and what I would do to protect her.
"We did! She's not picking up. I even called at her house and her mother. Nothing." She was nowhere to be found. Or she was somewhere she knew she wouldn't be found by anyone except me. Home.
"I have to go. I'll make her call you when I find her." I said and quickly left the building, more excited about going back to my apartment than I had been for the past two months.
I opened my door wishing that she would be here, otherwise I had no idea where I would look for her. Entering my apartment though, I saw her laying on my bed, a weird expression on her beautiful face. I couldn't hide the smile that spread on my lips, I was sure she would be here; I knew her too well. I just stood there staring at her, my lovely girl that I had missed so much.
"Why do you keep this under your pillow?" Her voice startled me and I had no idea what she was talking about. Then she nodded at a photo she was holding.
"Oh, that." Why did this have to be so awkward? I kept her photo under my pillow because I missed her and I know it was pathetic but I just couldn't help myself. She was the only one that mattered in my life and I had lost her, that shit wasn't something easy to go through. I avoided her eyes because I didn't know whether I should tell her the truth or lie. She took a few steps towards me.
"I need to know." Her voice was pleading and her eyes were begging me to tell her how I felt. I couldn't lie to her, I had promised myself that I would be honest with her even if it cost me.
"Because I miss you, okay?" I was trying to stay calm but there were a million thoughts and emotions battling in my head and in my heart and I had to let them all out, explain to her how it felt to have lost her. "Because it doesn't feel right, Aria! You not being here." I paused and pursed my lips so as not to cry. "I miss everything about you." I whispered and closed my eyes. The next thing I felt was her tiny hands being wrapped around my neck and her soft lips touching mine.
It was desperate, but it was perfect and I was more sure than ever before that I could never be without her again. After a few moments she pulled away and looked at me.
"I miss you, too. I don't want things to be over between us."
"Nothing is over." I took her face in my hands and kissed her once again and this time we didn't break apart until we were both breathless. Then she smiled and looking into my eyes she bit her lip.
"Ezra, can we go somewhere?" I broke out of her embrace and looked at her amused.
"We can go anywhere." Her eyes were shining and I swear I hadn't seen her that happy in weeks. I smiled and she turned around so she could gather her things and like that, we left my apartment, no questions asked.
"Where to?" I asked her once we were inside my car and she gave me a big smile.
"I'll give you directions on the road." She winked at me and I chuckled. I didn't really like surprises like she did, but I kept my mouth shut. However, a question kept bugging me, given that I spent my morning thinking about how I would make her sit down and listen to me. She was supposed to be really mad at me, not come in my apartment and ask to go somewhere together.
"Can I ask what made you change your mind about me? I mean, last time I saw you, you barely talked to me." I gave her a cautious look but then turned my eyes on the road, thankful I brought this up now when I had a reason to not look her in the eyes.
"I just realized that I can't live without you." I let out a breath of relief and she smiled sweetly at me as I turned and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.
"I'm glad you did." I paused for a second and then my smile vanished. "What about Jake?" I pursed my lips and focused on the road, waiting for her answer.
"I'll end things with him. It wasn't anything serious anyway." She shrugged and avoided my eyes.
"Well, I'm sorry about that." I said and tried to hide a smile. She knew he was a mistake.
"I know you're not!" She shouted teasingly and punched my arm. We both started laughing and it warmed my heart, I had missed her laugh so much. I looked at her and gave her a big smile, "you're right, I'm not", I said shaking my head.
"You know, Ezra, you really are a jerk sometimes." I laughed again; she loved throwing back at me words she had spoken before, just to show me that we never changed, things would always be the same between us. But not in the bad repetitive way, in the way that assured us that we were okay.
After almost half an hour and while following Aria's directions, we arrived at a small lake house. It was surrounded by a wooden fence and there were trees everywhere around. She trusted me enough to bring me in a secluded place, just the two of us. Maybe this meant something.
We walked inside, holding hands, and I found the place really pretty. It was small but cozy and a fireplace in the other side of the living room made it friendly. It was bigger than my apartment anyway.
"Why are you smiling?" I asked her when I noticed a smile on her lips and her eyes fixed on me.
"Because you're here." Her voice was soft, not a single hint of worry in it. "Do you want a drink or something? We can light up the fireplace, too."
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine." I paused. "Can we sit?" She nodded and her eyes lost their glint, but I had to ruin this moment. I had to take that weight off my shoulders and talk to her. I closed my eyes and touched my forehead to hers. A few moments passed, and then she sighed and took my hand in hers once again so she could lead me to the big sofa that was in the middle of the room. Once we sat on it, I asked her what I had been dreading for a long time.
"Is A bothering you again?" She rolled her eyes and gave me a questioning look. But I had to know, it couldn't be for nothing, everything I did. I had given up my life to keep her away from all this drama, what was the point if she was being blackmailed again? I had destroyed us because someone else wanted me to.
"Seriously?" She laughed darkly. "And you wouldn't know?" She was pissed off now and the phrase 'if looks could kill' crossed my mind.
"No. I don't know everything."
"Okay, I'm confused here." Her eyes were looking at me closely and I wished we could just forget about all this and focus on us, but we couldn't. Yet.
"Just tell me. Is he bothering you again?" I was afraid that the answer would be yes. I had been such a fool.
"Wait," she said out loud. "How do you know it's a 'he'?" She looked at me incredulously and her eyes were wide open.
I sighed. "Aria, we need to talk." It was about time I fixed things so, I would put an end in secrets and lies. I would be entirely honest with her; starting now.
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See ya xox