Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth, that belongs to the awesome late Jim Henson and awesome still kicking it Brian Froud and the still sexy David Bowie. Thanks guys for such an such a wonderful movie!

Warnings: This story is rated for mild language, some violence, David Bowie's Area, and of course sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Oh yeah and David Bowie's Area, I mention this twice because there is going to be a lot of it.

Current Music: Diamond Dogs by David Bowie

A Special Thanks to my beta, HippieAthena!

Chapter Six

They Call Them The Diamond Dogs

Sarah ran her hands over her hair nervously and tried to think of her options. She was expected to go back into the labyrinth and not only face two evil monsters, but fix Jareth as well as the labyrinth. If she didn't the two creatures that attacked her and Toby would be back to finish the job. She knew all that Santa Claus said was true, she saw the proof for herself. Worst of all, this mess was all her fault and now the people she loved were in danger. She had no choice, she would go back to the labyrinth but at least she would not go alone. She would have Jareth at her side this time but what about Toby? Her brother was happily petting Rudolph, who had decimated her stepmother's prized azaleas and was moving onto the rest of the garden. Merlin had finally come out of hiding and was sitting on the porch watching them curiously. "Hey guys, I can't take Toby or Merlin with me and I can't leave them here alone. Who's going to look after them? And how is Jareth and I supposed to even get back into the labyrinth?"

Santa answered her "I would be happy to look after them, my elves and I aren't doing anything at the moment. As for how you can get back to the labyrinth, you will need to take both Slepnir and Rudolph. The connection between the mortal world and that of the labyrinth is weak and the way is distant. Once upon a time they could carry more riders to that place, but not anymore. Which is something I hope you two will fix, if that connection gets any weaker the labyrinth will be cut off from this world completely and you must not let that happen. Now I recommend you pack, my elves should be here any moment with my sleigh."

Sarah nodded. She hoped she would return and a part of her feared what would happen if she didn't return home safely. "If we don't make it back, will you..."

Santa cut her off. "You will return safely, Rudolph and Slepnir will make sure of that. I have faith that you two will succeed. I will ensure that you, and young Toby will be home safely before either of your parents are the wiser."

Sarah smiled and muttered her thanks to old Saint Nick. She saw Jareth petting Slepnir's muzzle, and Slepnir nuzzled Jareth affectionately. Santa laughed, his belly like a bowl full of jelly. "Ho, ho, ho! I think Slepnir missed you, Jareth."

Jareth looked at the eight-legged horse curiously. "You know, Slepnir, I can't remember you but I feel like I know you very well."

Santa's eyes twinkled with laughter, "You do know him! The mind may forget but the heart remembers. Slepnir has known since the day he was born. The day you two met was very memorable for the both of you."

Santa laughed at his own private joke. Sarah knew it had to be a good story, the blackmail-able kind. When she succeeded in her mission she would ask Santa, another reason to get out of there alive. Jareth cocked his head curiously wondering what the joke was, "Care to let me in on the joke, my old friend?"

Santa's eyes lost their twinkle and he sighed sadly. "It was another lifetime ago and we were different people back then. Too much blood... Too much pain... It's a story that we do not have time for and one I care not to tell, perhaps its best that you have forgotten. Now start packing and get moving! We'll be waiting here upon your return."

Sarah picked up her little brother and hugged him tightly. "Hey, Toby. Jareth and I have to go somewhere and do something very important. Santa will be looking after you while we're gone, so be good. Okay?"

Toby smiled up at his sister. "Okay mama! Presents?"

Sarah giggled. "Yes Toby, but only if you're good." Sarah kissed him on the forehead and handed him to Ol' Saint Nick. "Take good care of him while I'm gone."

Sarah patted Merlin on the head. "Be good for Santa, boy." Merlin wagged his tail and padded over to Santa. She turned to Jareth. "Shall we get changed and start packing?"

Sarah went back inside the house with Jareth following close behind her and all the way up to her room. She went to her closet and dug out the same shirt and vest she wore the last time she went into the labyrinth. The same shirt and vest that only recently did she find out were once Jareth's. 'Maybe it'll bring me some good luck. I solved the labyrinth wearing this outfit the last time I went there.' She refused to admit that she was putting on them on because she liked wearing Jareth's clothing, that wearing the shirt made her feel like she was being hugged by him and yet she found herself hugging the clothing lovingly. Sarah blushed a little when saw Jareth smirking at her, apparently he noticed how she was fondling his shirt. "I'm going the bathroom to change and then I'm going to go pack some food. Go ahead a pack whatever you think we'll need into the magic sack."

Jareth chuckled and tossed her a pair of his tight pants. "Here you go, precious. Since you seem so fond of my clothing, you can have some of my trousers as well."

Sarah was about to give Jareth a piece of her mind but the way he ravished her with his eyes and huskily purred when he said, "You look lovely wearing my clothing, Sarah."

Sarah blushed furiously, and shyly gave him her thanks and sped out the room. Jareth quickly changed into a clean white shirt, a navy blue waistcoat and suit pants. After he changed and packed his all of his stuff into the magic sack, he poked around Sarah's room looking for anything that could be of use. The first place he looked through, of course, was her underwear drawer. He gleefully rummaged through her panties and her bras, snickering to himself as he played with Sarah's knickers. He tossed all of his favorites into the magic sack, 'Ooh! A lacy black thong! That one's definitely going into the sack!' He took most of her underwear, leaving only the boring grandma panties. He moved to her closet and gasped at what he saw. It was her wedding dress, the one she wore when he danced and sang to her. 'I thought this dress was lost to the Junkyard forever! This one is definitely coming with us.'

Jareth packed the dress and went to her bookshelf for any books she might want. He paused when he saw Ludo's gift being used as bookends. 'This is a broken heartstone! What's this doing outside the labyrinth? Judging from the wolf motif, it goes to the Wolves' gate.' heartstones are vital parts of the labyrinth that keep it alive. Judging from the looks of this heartstone things are bad, but not completely irreparable, and that gave him some hope. If he could take Sarah to the center of the labyrinth and consummate their marriage then maybe what was broken could be made whole. 'We need to seal this bond between us. The land and its sovereign are one. Sarah is my equal and my queen, as long as we are not fully bonded then neither is the labyrinth.' Jareth willed magic into his fingertips and waved his hand over the broken Heartstone. He concentrated on the thought of the heartstone knitting itself together. The magic bounced off the broken halves and fizzled. 'looks like my magic will not fix it, Sarah will have to somehow.'

Jareth pocketed the broken heartstone and continued looking around Sarah's room. He noticed a red, leather bound book on her vanity, called "The Labyrinth". He remembered her reading that book and reciting lines from it. He never knew where she got that book, he assumed it was written by a mortal that glimpsed his world and wrote about it. When he picked up the book, the smell of magic wafted from the book. The magic seemed familiar to him and as he thumbed through the book, he realized that it could not have been written by any mortal hand. The book was written like a children's fairytale that told of a princess that wished away her baby brother to the goblins. It was as if someone wrote a fairytale novel vaguely based on Sarah's adventure through his labyrinth, written before Sarah even had her adventure. "No wonder she defeated me, she had the script!"

Jareth looked at a poem that was under the cover on the first page. "'A maiden will come to the Labyrinth and solve it she will, and then the king's power will by love be broken and spill.' Bloody Hell! It's a prophecy! Who wrote this? Why does this sound familiar, I think I've heard this before." Jareth clutched his head in pain as part of a memory floated to the surface of his mind.

A vicious storm raged around two figures in the center of the labyrinth on top of the highest tower of the Goblin Castle. The Goblin King was sprawled and defeated before a man with a long silver beard and blue robes. The Goblin King pleaded to the other man. "Please, Merlin! Think about this! Arthur could be happy here! He could be loved!"

Merlin shook his head sadly, "You brought this upon yourself, O King of the Goblins! I can see into the future and Arthur's destiny is to be the king of all of Albion, not of goblins! I gave you one chance to return him to his world to fulfill his destiny and to those that truly love him. You did not. You are a cruel and selfish creature that knows nothing of what love is. Now our friendship is at an end and you are cursed! You're cursed to a lonely and miserable life, bound to the goblin throne that you despise so much until the day comes that you find your soulmate."

The Goblin King looked up at Merlin with hope. "My soulmate? Do you know who that is?"

Merlin looked down at the Goblin King in contempt. "Yes. You know my gift of sight and I have seen your future. This is my parting gift to you, I hope you wallow in misery! Behold your undoing!"

Merlin dropped a crystal with a still image in it, an image of green soul piercing eyes. The Goblin King picked up the crystal and stared into its depths. Merlin disappeared, his voice echoing his final words to the Goblin King. Words that haunted him.

"A maiden will come to the Labyrinth and solve it she will,

and then the king's power will by love be broken and spill.

Darkness will fill the void in the king's empty throne,

and a monster will be born that is evil true to the bone.

Maiden and friends will fight together in vain

as the Maiden refuses the evil monster's bane.

And when night is at its darkest and a new love is seemingly lost to the Abyss,

evil will be driven back when sundered king is made whole by true love's kiss.

The newly healed King shall then by old law make maiden his Queen,

and together evil vanquished, the Labyrinth healed and the land serene."

Jareth was yanked back to reality when he felt Sarah's hand on his shoulder. She looked at him with a very worried expression. "Are you okay, Jareth? You looked like you were having a migraine."

Jareth nodded, "I was looking at your book and I remembered something, here let me show you."

Jareth put his fingers to her temples and pressed his forehead against hers, showing her the vision he just had. A moment later Sarah shuddered and gasped and yanked away from him and from the shock of being dumped back into reality. "That explains a few things. My friends, on the last night I saw them told me you were defeated by only one other, and that was Merlin, the great wizard of legend. So I guess Ludo and those crazy goblins that wear tinfoil on their heads were right; there is more to the prophecy."

Sarah picked up her red leather book and saw the same words she had heard only few moments ago. "I remember Ludo saying the whole prophecy was recorded somewhere and lost. I guess we know where. I found this odd book in my dog's mouth a few years ago, to this day I still don't know where he got it."

Jareth took the book from her hands and put it in the magic sack. "Let's figure this out later, precious. We can brainstorm when we're in the labyrinth, we can talk and walk at the same time. I've packed my things and anything we might need. Are you ready to go?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, I only need get all this packed. Some food, a first aid kit, duct tape, and some stuff from my father's tool kit. Oh yeah, and my new Camcorder. Your labyrinth is pretty cool and I'd like to get a few shots."

Jareth smiled, feeling touched that she liked his painstakingly made creation, "You like my labyrinth? You don't think that it's a piece of cake'?"

Sarah nodded, "Yeah, sorry that I insulted you. I was under pressure at the time as you know, but I really think that it's cool. I plan to make a few videos of the place, your labyrinth could make a really cool fantasy movie."

Sarah put the things she brought into the magic sack. She looked up at Jareth with a coy smile. "By the way your pants fit me, but it's really loose around my crotch. Not surprising since these poor things have been stretched out by that enormous thing you keep between your legs."

Jareth laughed and felt his ego inflate a little when she called his manhood 'enormous'. "I love seeing you wear my clothes, you look good."

Sarah blushed at his compliment. She liked wearing his clothes because they smelled like him and made her feel like he was hugging her. 'I'm not about to tell him that, he doesn't need his ego stroked more than it already has. If I stroke it anymore it's gonna...' She blushed at the innuendo her thoughts were forming. She giggled nervously and changed the subject. "Well, let's go. We don't want to keep Santa waiting, do we?"

Jareth smiled. "No, we don't."

The two of them packed the food, the first aid kit, and a tool kit with lots of duck tape and gorilla glue into the magic sack. Sarah reached beside her bed, where she keep's Granny Williams' old frying pan, and securely tied it to a belt loop for easy access. When they got outside they found Santa and Toby in a sled pulled by eight reindeer. Also in the sled was what Sarah assumed to be elves, but then she took a second look. "Jareth? Why are your goblins dressed like elves?"

Jareth saw what she was looking at. It was two of his Goblins in bright green elf costumes complete with red pointy shoes. One had thick coke bottle glasses and the other had on an aviator's helmet. The one with glasses replied haughtily in a shrill nasally voice "Actually we're gremlins dressed as elves, your majesty. His Majesty, Jareth, lends some of his more talented subjects to help with the Christmas rush."

The one wearing an aviator's helmet waved cheerfully at Sarah, "Hi Queenie! We's on paid vacation! Who's that guy?"

The gremlins looked at Jareth with confusion, apparently they didn't recognize him, even though he remembered these two. The one with the aviator's helmet was called Wingman and the one wearing glasses was Poindexter. Wingman could sabotage or pilot anything with wings, 'his favorite ploy was dancing on the wing of a plane and drive one man to insanity. Bonus points if he got the poor bastard to say to his fellows "there's something on the wing of the plane!" Thanks to Wingman I never go near those metal deathtraps humans dare say can fly.' Jareth thought to himself.

Poindexter built overly complicated machines with little practical use. In truth there was very little difference between goblins and gremlins, they both annoyed Jareth equally, though gremlins often possessed all of the great intellect of a chicken that could annoy him whole new levels. Jareth scowled. "Wingman! Poindexter! I am your king."

The gremlin with coke bottle glasses snorted and replied in a shrill nasally voice "You look nothing like our king. If you are indeed our king then prove it."

Jareth pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. "Sarah, please don't hate me for what I'm about to do, but in this situation it is unfortunately necessary."

Jareth pulled down his pants, and revealed his manhood to everyone in front of Sarah's house for all to see. Santa immediately covered Toby's eyes.

Sarah hissed angrily at Jareth, "What the hell is wrong with you, Jareth?!"

The gremlins however gasped in recognition and bowed, "The Area! We are not worthy! Forgive us, your majesty! We did not recognize you."

Jareth zipped up his pants, "You two are forgiven. It is fortunate that all my subjects can still recognize the national landmark."

Jareth saw the question Sarah had and answered her before she could ask, "My moronic subjects, declared my crotch a national landmark. They even gave my crotch a nickname: 'The Area'. The little bastards took pictures of me without my trousers and they sell the shots of my wedding tackle as postcards, all of which is now contraband but they still have it on the goblin black market and at the local church. My subjects recognize my bits and pieces more than they do the rest of me, it's rather annoying."

Santa cleared his throat, "You two don't have much time, I suggest you get moving. Jareth, try to keep your clothes on for pity's sake. I'll take Toby with me until you get home and I have complete faith that you two will succeed in your quest."

Sarah ran up to her little brother and gave him a hug. She didn't want to be separated from him and she had no choice but to leave him with a fat guy in a red suit that she had only just met. Her own home was no longer safe from those monsters that attacked them earlier. 'Don't worry, it's Santa Claus! Toby will be fine. He'll have fun watching toys being made.' Sarah turned to Santa and said "Keep my brother safe or you'll be on my naughty list!"

Santa laughed and his belly shook like jelly, "Ho ho ho! You are a fiery one! You and Jareth are perfect for each other! Now we all must be off, time waits for no one. Now, Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid! On Donder and Blitzen!"

Sarah and Jareth watched as Santa and two of Jareth's crotch-worshipping subjects fly away with Toby into the night sky. Jareth put a comforting hand on Sarah's shoulder, "He'll be fine with Old Nick. Come on let's go, we need to return to the labyrinth. I'll take Slepnir and you can take Rudolph. Don't worry Rudolph is a loyal companion and among the fiercest of creatures."

Sarah raised her eyebrow skeptically at the 'fiercest of creatures' mercilessly slaying her stepmother's azaleas. "If you say so, but still feel like I should be more afraid of a flying squirrel than Bullwinkle there."

Jareth snorted at Sarah's disbelief. He thought with laugh, 'She'll know better soon enough, especially when she sees his fiery spirit.' They went to where Rudolph and Slepnir were grazing on Sarah's Stepmother's prized azaleas. Jareth tied the magic sack to Slepnir's saddle and helped Sarah on Rudolph. After Sarah clambered on top of the gigantic red-nosed moose she asked, "So what exactly are we going to do once we get back to the labyrinth? How am I supposed to fix everything and what exactly does that stupid prophecy mean?!"

Jareth took Sarah's hand in his and gave it a tender kiss. He gazed up at her with smoldering eyes filled a passion that made Sarah's body tingle pleasantly and asked her "Do you love me?"

Sarah's heart pumped wildly in her chest, and her mind raced excitedly. 'Do I love him? Yes, I think I do. Or at least I know I'm quickly falling for him. Is it even possible to be completely in love with a man that I've only really known for a day?' Sarah's heart leapt in her chest at the sight of Jareth's intense gaze and took control of her head. Nervous and with shaky breath she said, "Yes."

Jareth's face spilt into a radiant smile that reached his eyes, and made them twinkle with delight. He gave Sarah's hand another loving kiss and joyfully exclaimed. "Then you have nothing to worry about! We just need to reach the center of the labyrinth and as long as we have our love everything will be fixed. Now hold on tightly my love!"

Jareth bounded over to Slepnir and mounted him. With a click of his heels the eight-legged horse trotted to Rudolph's side. Jareth gave Rudolph's rump a hard slap and shouted "On Rudolph! To the Labyrinth!"

Rudolph suddenly reared his head and bolted. Sarah clung to the great beast for dear life and shrieked as they all took off into the sky. Anger overcame her fear when she heard Jareth right behind her laughing his head off, worse still both Rudolph and Slepnir joined him. Sarah screamed at Jareth calling him all sorts of profanities involving his parentage and suggesting that he do things anatomically impossible. To which Jareth replied between guffaws "I would gladly grant your request precious, if you possessed that kind of equipment!"

Clouds surrounded them and completely obscured their vision of the world below. The light around them subtly shifted and Sarah suddenly felt a tingling sensation throughout her body, and made her spine involuntarily twitch. The weird sensation made her squeal and squirm on Rudolph's saddle. She heard Jareth chuckle beside her though she could only see his outline. "We've just pierced the veil between worlds. You'll get used the sensation with experience. The Labyrinth should be right -"

The clouds parted and the sight below made the words in Jareth's throat die. It was the Labyrinth alright, but it had drastically changed and not for the better. Black vines infesting the Labyrinth like a cancer, and they all seemed to be growing out from The Bog of Eternal Stench. The evil looking plants caused fissures in the Labyrinth, like it was slowly ripping it apart brick by brick. A few places were untouched, like the castle and the goblin city. Parts of The Enchanted Forest and The Junkyard looked okay as well. The hedge maze and the stone maze was not so fortunate, the plants overtook most of it, making it look like a sea of ink emerging from a wide chasm that stretched all the way back to the bog.

From below they heard the sounds of wolves howling and the black vines writhed like a pit of poisonous snakes. As fast as lightning the black viper like vines struck Rudolph and Slepnir and started dragging them down to the pit below. The sharp thorns dug into Sarah and Rudolph painfully, and flung through the air like a baseball. Sarah heard Jareth call out her name desperately as she was being wrenched violently away from him. Sarah clamped tightly to Rudolph and crashed into the forest of black vines below. Sarah's heart froze and clenched in terror when, for a moment she caught sight of her evil doppelganger with a cruel pointed smile. She, or more accurately it, was reaching out for her with black sharpened claws. The black thorny vines surrounded her and caressed her like a loyal pet begging for food. Sarah had a strong feeling that she and Rudolph were that food.

Rudolph ear-piercing bugle cut through the air, and a great spout of flame erupted from his mouth. Sarah watched in awe as Rudolph the red-nosed moose unleashed a blazing inferno on the black thorny vines. The flames licked and burned and consumed the tar colored vines around them. Her evil doppelganger retreated from the fire, screeching angrily at her. Rudolph galloped through the burning thorns with the grace and ferocity of a beastly demon from hell. "Okay, I take back everything I said about you." Sarah remarked and patted Rudolph affectionately. The sounds of wolves drawing closer spurred him on and the thorny black vines thinned as fog and the familiar old oaks of The Enchanted Forest grew thicker.

Suddenly the screaming sounds of guitars filled the air and a familiar voice singing that filled Sarah with both hope and dread. Rudolph came to a sudden halt in a clearing with great standing stones in the shapes of wolves, vaulting Sarah out of the saddle, and painfully landed on mossy ground in front of a giant cracked statue of a wolf. Pain shot from her left leg, making her whimper, 'Damn I think it's broken.' The wolves had them surrounded, they emerged from the fog and Sarah got a better look at them. The wolves were the size of ponies and their bared teeth glinted like diamonds. They stared down at her with hungry blood red eyes. From the thick fog a figure emerged as he continued to sing, "Come out of the garden baby, you'll catch your death in the fog! Young girl, they call them the diamond dogs!"

Sarah's heart dropped to her stomach, feeling like a lead weight. The Goblin King smiled viciously at his injured prey. He continued to sing and dance and howl victoriously with his diamond dogs. Every effort to crawl away was met with a snap of diamond fangs, and the sharp pain of her broken ankle. Rudolph was just outside the wolf shaped standing stones, pawing impatiently at the ground, an invisible force kept him away. Sarah's eyes flickered to Granny Williams' frying pan, which was beside Rudolph, and outside her reach. The music stopped, leaving an eerie silence. Not even the diamond dogs were making a sound, they were simply staring at her, it unnerved her more. The Goblin King still had a predatory smile plastered on his pale blue face and stared at her like a starving man staring at a Thanksgiving feast. Sarah gulped and looked up at the frightening figure gazing hungrily down at her. His smile widened like the cat that finally got the canary. "Well, well, well. What have we here, my diamond dogs? What is this precious thing that we have caught? How fortunate am I that she has flung herself so willingly into my grasp?"

Sarah tried to swallow her fear, but when she spoke it stilled tinged her words. She cursed inwardly at herself when a meek voice came out of her mouth. "What do plan to do with me?"

The Goblin King's dark avian-like eyes glittered with a hunger that made Sarah shiver with fear. The more Sarah trembled, the more that hungry look in his eyes grew. With lightning speed The Goblin King was on top of her, with his hands keeping her wrists pinned firmly pinned on the mossy ground. His face was a hair's breadth from hers, and looked as if he was mulling over something, but that hungry glint in eyes was decisive. "Hmmm. You destroyed my Labyrinth, broke me into two beings, and last but not least you took my power. What would be good compensation?"

Sarah struggled in vain against his grasp, but the more she struggled the more excited he became. Sarah couldn't help but notice how different the creature above her was to the man she found herself falling for, yet they were still the same. She could feel it, beneath his tattered black robes Sarah could feel the exact same thing that she saw when Jareth appeared naked on her bed. 'It's not my Jareth. This thing can't be! Oh dear god he not going to do that to me is he? On the cold ground in front of a bunch of dogs?! My other leg is still good, one hard jab with my knee and he'll drop like any other man...'

Unfortunately for Sarah there was one flaw in her escape plan that the creature that has her pinned knows about, "Don't try to escape me precious, whatever injury I receive so too shall my other self suffer. Now be good and give me my compensation for the pain you have inflicted on myself and my kingdom."

Sarah eyed widened with panic, "I didn't do all this! Those black vines were probably caused by that demonic looking thing that looks like me. I saw her! I know you saw her too! She isn't me! I will fix you though, I promise. I'll find a way to put you back together and I'll even try to restore what you think I stole from you!"

The Goblin King's smile vanished and was replaced with anger. "All of this is your fault because of your sheer ignorance! That thing looks like you because you created it and now it's going to kill us all! You took my power and split me in twain because you broke your vows, my wife!"

Author's Note: Well here's a cliffhanger for you! Please don't kill me! Here is some fun facts to avert your wrath! There actually is a religion that focuses on the worship of David Bowie's crotch. It's called "The Church of Areaology". I'm not kidding. The man's crotch had been deified. Oh yeah, and Sarah did just break the fourth wall a bit. That camcorder is going to haunt her for years to come (ominous foreshadowing). Also Updates will be slow with school starting up again, so this will be the last chapter for awhile.