"Once I'm dead, I won't even be able to remember you. So I'll win, no matter what.
I'll live, no matter what!" -Mikasa Ackerman
Eren's chest felt like burning.
He wasn't sure if he was heading the right way, of if the air was just getting thicker by the second. It wasn't mist, he was sure of it; it was too warm for a winter evening and much drier for a humid land.
He rested his superior by the tree branch supporting them as his eyes scanned the surroundings.
Somehow, the forest now seemed as though it had lost all of its colors; gray-scale leaves on black trunks sizzling with the winds.
Snow slowly swung with the breezes. Yet it wasn't rain, no. It wasn't the cool water droplets that usually came down in Wall Rose.
Those were ashes.
That thick air was smoke.
The atmosphere was scorching with burning wood and its scent getting eaten by the flames.
A faded color of scarlet brightened at his front. The teen could recognize Jean's voice, Armin's yelling and Sasha's screaming.
What the hell is going on?
Eren gripped his holder attempting to fire his hook, then stopped and looked to his left. Levi was there, silently lying by the wood; his face was dripping with sweat and his chest moved so heavily as though he was suffering with just the act of inhaling.
What should I do….?
The boy gulped down his nervousness. He couldn't possibly leave his leader here. And he couldn't stay still while his comrades were in danger again.
"Eren!"
Somehow, that nearby voice had the teen breathe out; this voice always managed to hold him back together.
Mikasa landed with a soft hiss and immediately surrounded him with her arms, squeezing him so tight.
"Are you hurt? Is everything okay?" She quietly asked, looking directly into his eyes.
Eren's face turned towards Levi's without an answer. The girl wordlessly stared and then sighed, eyes closed; and then faced her brother.
"Listen, Eren." She said, "Jean and Armin devised a plan."
"I'm not running away!" The boy interrupted fast, taking her arms away from him, as though protesting on the conclusions he already knew were established before.
"You're not. We all are." She continued, to Eren's surprise. "I may not like this, but listen. You, Corporal Levi, and Sasha will head to an old barn right on top of this mountain. It's right to the Far East. It's closer to the edges of the wall so you will not encounter any residents.
There's a horse for you a bit closer to the edge of the forest. Take it.
Jean, Armin, Historia and I will meet up with you later. We will take a different route to lose our opponents. So we'll most probably come from the northern side of this mountain. Connie will head to the military police department to find Commander Erwin or Squad leader Hanji. Armin said the commander is most probably held-in at the moment for investigations concerning Annie. Corporal Levi has immense trust in him, and Connie will not stop till the words reach him; Armin suspects these people attacking us now to be in the military police."
Eren was in clear shock that he couldn't word out his thoughts. Mikasa kept on explaining, nonetheless.
"We have to keep you and Historia protected. The secret of the Titans might be all uncovered with you two. But… Since Corporal Levi is down... I don't know who's capable of…"
"It's alright." The boy said, hands in fists. "I'll head straight to the east. Tell Sasha to meet me there."
"But, Eren!"
"Thank you, Mikasa." Eren smiled, placing a gentle hand on her head, softly brushing her hair down. "If you really want to help me, take care of yourself and everyone else. I got this. The Corporal should be okay soon I'm sure. I'm hoping to see you in the barn as well. You're my family. I'm not a kid."
The girl's cheeks flushed red a bit, as she saw hope in the teen's soft green eyes.
No matter how much hatred he bore, he could still always lighten up her heart.
"Please?" he said, still calm and quiet. "Would you trust me?" He lifted his fist up to her; she managed to show a little smile and softly bumped hers into his. "Okay... I'll see you soon. Don't die on me." She muttered.
"Sasha!" Jean yelled, standing by the door of the now burning house. "C'mon!"
"I'm not wasting all of this!" She complained, throwing a heavy bag at him, making him lose his balance for a bit as he clutched it between his arms.
"What are you doing?! Get out of there! You have to go find Eren!"
"You won't survive if you don't have good food either!" She protested, and then finally jumped out of the fire and into the clearing, two bags in her arms and burnt bread in her mouth. "This forest is crazy. It will be hard finding good stuff in it." She explained.
"You won't be finding anything with a barbecued body!" The fair-haired objected, holding her by her arm and pushing her to her saddle.
Metal hooves heavily crushed the sandy stones as a horse rushed faster and faster between the bushes and around the mountain. Eren dashed wildly with Levi in his arms sitting by his front, barely managing to breathe.
Shit… I know I managed to calm Mikasa down… but I'm not really sure if I can fool myself with this… I don't know where I'm going and I don't know when the Corporal will be awake…
The sounds of the battle and the smell of scorched wood got replaced slowly with the birds' chirping and the cold breezes.
Eren was now resting by a small stream to the eastern side of the mountain, waiting on Sasha to meet him and hoping she will show up soon. The horse snorted to his left, as it calmly fed itself from what it found on the ground, finally taking its time to relax as well by the shading of a giant tree. Its auburn color reflected that little light that peeked through this cloudy evening.
The boy looked by his right; a small cavern in the rocks made perfect sheltering for Levi to sleep in. The Corporal's breath was now steadier than what it was hours ago and the fever had loosened its grip on him.
Well…at least things are starting to get better… The teen told himself.
Shit…
Sadly, things always went in opposition with what our hero wanted.
The clouds that shielded the sunlight before were now gathered on top of the mountain and the rainfall was getting stronger by the minute.
Eren was in the small cave, with Levi still resting in his arms quietly.
This hole is so small it can barely fit us… I hope the horse will be fine in this cold. He thought, wrapping both his superior and him with the recon corps cape.
It was getting colder and it didn't seem like the weather had planned on taking a break any time soon.
I can barely remember any times the Corporal and I were this close… Eren questioned himself, staring down at a serene, innocent, peaceful face. He's always looking so violent we'd forget he has this side to himself as a normal human being. Petra was right...
Then he remembered. There was actually a time when Eren got close to his superior. It wasn't long ago, but it was blurred back in his mind.
He could recall a thing or two. He could see somewhere in his mind two strong arms pulling him in a hug. He could hear the Corporal yelling at him to calm down. He could hear his own shaky voice as he mentioned the names of his old squad.
The funeral. Right after the funeral. He told himself, now figuring it out.
Since most of the bodies were lost in battle, the special operation squad bodies were not burnt with those that may cause sickness, nor buried with those that were allowed to be put in peace below the ground.
The teen saw the Corporal share a few words with Commander Erwin that morning, and then disappeared for the rest of the day. He didn't even attend the funeral held for the lost soldiers.
He never knew what he said or what they talked about, but the look in Commander Erwin's eyes never changed, compared to Corporal Levi's, such that Eren wondered if he was even human.
That evening, the boy silently allowed himself to enter their old castle, which they had cleaned together, as the special ops, earlier that month.
He was surprised to how empty it was. Petra's scolding words to one slacking Oluo; Eld complaining that Eren forgot to feed one of the horses; Gunther protesting at the times Levi had made him clean the kitchen…
The whole place seemed as though it had died with them.
Good moments faded. Dust filled the now vacant rooms... And the echo behind Eren's steps resonated amid bare hallways.
The teen's watery eyes led him to a small cabinet in the kitchen where he knew Eld stored Alcohol.
He hesitated, then opened it and took out a thin but tall, unlabeled bottle.
With a small hiss, he opened it and gulped down his sadness like he had seen many people do; a sour taste filling his throat as though his insides were set on fire.
He put it down and took a breath, and then lifted the bottle and drank as much as he managed before his body demanded a break.
It felt too warm.
Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. It still hurt him. This alcohol is shit… shit… I'm feeling shit…
His hands went up rubbing his reddish teary eyes and as they went down, everything around him blurred a bit.
"What are you doing kid?" He heard Levi's voice say somewhere in the room. "Did you drink all of that?"
"Yes." Eren mumbled, looking around to locate his superior.
"Are you crying?"
The ground looked like as if it was moving. Gentle hands rested by the teen's arms as they guided him to a room somewhere by the end of the hallway, and eventually put him to bed.
"Stay here and sleep it off. I'll be in the room next to you." Levi said, looking like a mixed colored blob to Eren, who just nodded and rolled under the blankets below him.
An hour or so passed, to what the teen thought. He couldn't fully remember what happened or how much he had slept.
The only thing he was sure of was that the next morning, he felt warm. It wasn't because of the blankets, nor the alcohol in his body.
His head was cushioned on something other than a pillow; something that had heartbeats.
The view of the ceiling had changed.
The asphalt brick walls were clean.
A smell of Lily scented disinfectant filled his lungs.
Eren's numb hands finally managed to lift him up to realize that he was actually resting in his Corporal's arms.
His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and he was clearly confused as he scanned the room for what he hoped to be an answer. Except that there was nothing that could explain this but probably the man whom he was sharing the bed with.
The boy's looks turned then to Levi to meet his. The leader was actually wide awake but still resting, possibly just because he didn't want to wake the cadet up.
A cold breeze sent a chill down Eren's body, and he finally noticed that they were both half naked.
This looks bad…shit…shit shit shit… He told himself, wrapping his arms around his chest. He looked back at Levi, who was still staring at him calmly, saying nothing.
-Awkward silence-
"How long?" Eren asked, looking down, somewhat lost between embarrassment and gratitude.
"All night." Came the answer of his superior. "First time on alcohol...?"
"Yes." The boy said, now certain what he was feeling was humiliation, with a pinch of irresponsibility.
"You sure picked a strong one for a first time." Levi mumbled, sitting up. "Don't touch this stuff again." And to Eren's surprise, a gentle hand muffled up his hair as it rested on his head.
"It's alright." The superior added, "Don't worry."
The boy opened his mouth to protest but Levi continued "I'm not going anywhere."
And somehow, for some strange reason, the teen's heart beat heavier than it normally did. A thick feeling in his throat made his breathing harder. Water leaked from his jade eyes as they focused on those, unusually, peaceful gray ones of his leader.
That morning's sunlight was so vivid, and it entered the room radiantly from the right angle; for everything seemed to brighten up even if just a little bit.
"I'm not going anywhere" Levi's words warmed up Eren's mind as he held his leader closer to him in that dark cavern.
"You better stick to your words, corporal." He muttered by his superior's ears. "I'm not planning on letting you go just yet."
This update took me a while, sorry guys, I'm so busy with exams and holidays stuff. I hope you had a good Christmas.
Just a little warning for when I update the next chapter, there will be a lot of lemons and such. It was rated M after all and this fanfiction is Ereri and Letra (Eren x levi, Petra x levi)
If you got any special requests make sure to tell me before I keep on updating ~
Sincerely,
ßlue