"Well I don't know about you people out there, but I'm not eating chili dogs anymore." The last time I ate a chili dog Dave called Hazmat.

The crowd laughed and clapped

It's true, I was walking outta the bathroom...

The crowed chuckled

Now don't beat me to the funny part,

The crowed laughed as Alvin gave a semi-stern face

But I came outta the bathroom and about three minutes later, Dave walked in. And what he said when he entered was the most funniest thing I have ever heard!

"ALVIN YOU LITTLE TURD! I'M GONNA FLUSH YOU DOWN THE DAMN TOILET YOU STINKIN' SMELLY LITTLE SHIT!

The crowd roars with laughter while Alvin takes a sip of water.

My fiancé is on her monthly right now, and to let you know; you think you human girls are bad!

The crowd laughs as Alvin jumps up onto the stool.

IT'S NOT FUNNY...she turns into Satan!

I walked into our bedroom, just to change my hoodie! She's sitting on the bed and as soon I walk by her this is what she said "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

The crowd laughed, some people even started crying from laughing so hard,!

Alvin walked to the back stage area;

Moments later he returned with what looked to be a rag.

The crowed watches as Alvin hops up on to a stool.

He lays the rag down and then jumps back down.

He looks out at the crowd and points to the stool.

If anyone is wondering, that's the rag that when Brittany turns into the devil I set about twenty to thirty of those things all over the house.

The crowd stayed silent

She's always leaving a trail behind her wherever she goes. And sometimes it looks like someone was murdered!

The crowd chuckled.

One day Dave walked into the living room and looked down on the carpet. I was sitting on the couch watching some t.v. when Dave walks up to and asks

"Uh...hey Alvin, did someone spill juice on the floor or did Brittany try to cut your tail off again?"

The crowd snickered at the story.

Yeah but, *sighs*

You know that when ever you hear a chipmunk cry, it's because his girlfriend denied him sex...AGAIN!

The crowd chuckled and some people laughed.

My poor brother Simon and his girlfriend Jeanette have a very strange way showing each other love. One day I was walking through the living room, and just happened to hear noises coming from the basement.

Being the curious munk that I am, I walked down the steps and saw the most terrifying thing!

MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRL WERE BUTT NAKED SHOVING TEST TUBES IN PLACES THAT THINGS JUST DON'T BELONG IN!

The crowd roared with laughter as Alvin took a sip of water from his water bottle.